Ex beat us to WDW.... now what?

[DisneyWishes14]

IMHO, trips are very personal experiences. The WDW trip the boys have with their mom will be very different from the one they have with you. Make your own memories with the boys. It will be just as special.

I am a stepmom as well. I have, officially, been a stepmom for 14 years but have known my stepsons for 17 years from early childhood through, now, early adulthood. The biggest advice I can give to you is to allow the boys parents to do the parenting. Of course be supportive of your husband, but please remember, she is their mother and she has every right to want to experience this with her own children. Let it go and focus on enjoying your own unique trip with the boys. And allow their mom to enjoy her trip with her children as well. So they get to go to WDW twice in a year - how fun is that!!? There will be so many other important parenting issues to deal with as the years go on. A trip to WDW shouldn't be one of them.

 

[brockash]

My husband and I have been trying to take the kids to Disney for the past two years. They have never been to WDW before and have been wanting to go for years, what kid doesn’t? My husband and I were planning a vacation to WDW last year and discussed it with his ex, they have two sons, and she stated she was going to try to take the kids last year as well. Shortly before booking our trip we found out we were pregnant with our daughter and our trip would fall when I was approximately 38 weeks pregnant and decided to postpone it a year. We informed his ex and she said they decided against going as well.

Fast forward to January of this year, we decided to plan our vacation for this fall. We cleared the dates and plans with my husband’s ex wife, you know the right thing to do, and told her we were keeping it a secret to surprise the boys. So we booked our trip. We were so excited! Taking the kids to Disney for the first time, they’d be ecstatic!

February she calls and says she has to discuss something with him, she’s planning a Disney trip for spring break, 6 months before our trip! I have never been more angry in my life! They’re currently in WDW now and I still can’t get over the feeling that she stole something from us. She knew we had plans and a trip booked that was supposed to be a surprise and swoops in and takes them before us! While I always knew she was spiteful towards my ex I never imagined she’d stoop this low. I’m so angry and while we discussed cancelling our trip or saving it for another year, we decided to still go. Anyone else experience this or have any tips on how to cope?

She didn't steal anything from you...they're her kids too. My parents have been divorced since I was 5 and I now have 3 kids of my own. This is just the brakes when you raise children with divorced/separated parents. Like it or not, it's what you signed up for when you chose to marry someone who had kids from a prior relationship. No need to be angry about, just work on planning your own trip - I'm sure they'll have a blast and every trip is different, especially when it's with different ppl. etc.

I don't think you're justified at being angry with the other parent either; it sounds like you both had tentative plans for last year that didn't work out and you both made plans for this year. Like I said it's just how it goes. Let it go and concentrate on planning your own trip...it'll be great.

 

[kandb]

I don't get the whole "first time" thing. My kids are in awe every time they go to Disney. There are so many things to do/see. Your husband is going to spend his first time with his sons and you will all enjoy Disney together. I think you are making a bigger deal of this "first time" experience. Perhaps other things are going on in the family with the ex. If it were me, I would do everything in my power not to let the ex ruin my life experiences.

 

[arminnie]

Oh please - just get over it. It's not that big of a deal about who is first. I took my niece to WDW for her first trip. Neither her bio father nor her bio mother (divorced) cared. In no way was I replacing either of her parents.

 

[katyjeka]

You gave your kids a baby sister which is much more important than being the first to take them to WDW. We have been on more trips than I care to admit and each one is VERY special. I understand your feelings but your trip will be as special to them as the one they are on now. The kids will have "experience" so why not be the bigger person and let them be your tour guide for an afternoon. Be happy that they have the opportunity to visit twice as some children are never able to go. I don't mean to sound harsh but their childhood is not a competition between parents.

 

[piratepride]

I have no advice for you on this specifically, but I will say dont let your Husbands ex taint or steal the magic of Disney, depending on the age of the kids, I doubt they will complain about going to Disney twice in a year, and since you are going at a different time, aka Fall, which is also during Mickeys not so Scary Halloween "extra cost Halloween party" , it will be a different experience for the kids. First doesnt always mean best. But thats just my 2 cents

 

[kniquy]

Anyone else experience this or have any tips on how to cope?

Just focus on your trip and making it special for you and your family. A little different story, but my ex took my boys to WDW when they just turned 5 -- so needless to say they did not remember a thing. We took them at 9 and now we are going again at 12 yo -- so each time has been a different experience for them and each time they remember different things.

You can make this trip different -- if my timing is correct does that mean you are going in August? If so maybe plan a water park that they possibly didn't hit, or plan a dessert party or a different character meal. There really is so much to do at WDW that each trip will be different than the last.

Like some other posters have mentioned there are worse ex's out there -- so she enjoys her kids and wants to do things with them. Think of it as a positive and maybe actually use her trip as a building block for yours -- what did they like, what didn't they like -- oh they were too tired to see the fireworks -- so you make sure they rest so they can stay up late (or pump them with candy).

How old are the kids? That can make a big difference in this whole situation.

 

[JK World]

Think about a different trip if you want another "first". Disneyland, Sea World, Universal, a Disney cruise. There are many options!

 

[Mr & Mrs DD]

I have no advice for you on this specifically, but I will say dont let your Husbands ex taint or steal the magic of Disney, depending on the age of the kids, I doubt they will complain about going to Disney twice in a year, and since you are going at a different time, aka Fall, which is also during Mickeys not so Scary Halloween "extra cost Halloween party" , it will be a different experience for the kids. First doesnt always mean best. But thats just my 2 cents

This is very well put. There is nothing you can do about it at this point. I completely understand your anger. What's done is done. You can only do as "Firebird060" suggests. Go and have a very good time. I would also recommend going to Mickey's Not So Scary Halloween Party. Very sorry that you all got the rug pulled out from under you. Put it behind you and have a GREAT time. Best wishes.