Count me among the lesbians that ended a LTR with neither of us being financially able to move out on our own. Elaine was my first real love and we were together a little over 7 years. Elaine was a saint because I moved from the frying pan into the fire. The fire, aka Kay, moved in with us, without a job, and no money. They made peace somewhere along the way, which was cool. Kay didn't make it to 2 years, which is fine because it did not end well at all. Let's just say that whenever a gun becomes involved, it's better to have it come to an end ASAP.
I still remain friends with Elaine. It bugs Corey, even though Corey and I have been together for almost 9 years. Corey is the jealous type. I can say that I love Elaine and most likely always will. I am not in love with her. Kay, well, we have just started a bit of communication again....yea haw...myspace a mixed blessing sometimes. Kay is happily attached, which is great, because I really don't want her anywhere near us. Corey is not too thrilled with me talking with Kay either, since she was such a loose cannon.
Basically, I feel that I have healthy relationships with my ex's. Elaine is a special friend that represents the beginnings of my life as an independent lesbian adult. Kay, well, we it seems will always have the potential for knowing one another, but I don't love her like I love Elaine.
Corey doesn't like Elaine, even though they have never met. Corey really doesn't like Kay and they have met. It's all a bit of a mess.
I can say that it took me a really long time to totally put my deep love for Elaine away. I was the one that broke it off, but it was a long and very significant relationship. Kay knew that I was still largely hung up on Elaine. If you could have seen what I traded....you would agree that Elaine was the better of the two in just about every category imaginable.
I wouldn't trade away the history that I have with either of them, because I couldn't have turned into the person that I had to be in order for me to be the person that I was meant to be for Corey to love. I love Corey with all of my heart. It was a long road to get here.
I wish you luck in your journey. I can understand your apprehension. Do yourself a favor......move out ASAP. It sounds like you need some distance if you are ever going to move on. Dating is not moving on when you make statements about crying about being in love with two people at the same time.
It gets better, but it takes time....and sometimes distance.
It will all work out the way it is supposed to! I am sure they both have you in mind and see that each of them are very important to you in their own ways, and vice versa.
) He has been with his current for about 16 years (I actually introduced them) and I've been with mine for 13 years.
