Ever treated differently because you are frugal?

[hsmamato2]

To each their own. But if you choose to look slovenly, then you may be judged.
..He would purposefully put older clothes on when he needed to purchase something substantial (major appliances, cars, etc.). He said that this helped him get a better deal on the price.

I agree.... being 'frugal' doesn't mean looking like a slob who just doesn't care in my universe... so I don't know if I am looked down upon, but I do know I look decent when I go anywhere,and and I am frugal!(very frugal)(very very frugal)
That said, my DH insisted that we drive our old beater car to the dealership to shop for our brand new car a couple of years back.... he didn't want the salesman to think we were rich or anything (we still have that '95 Subaru,it's a good second car)

 

[niffer5150]

yes but it doesn't really bother me. i've been rudely chased off a car lot because the sales guy thought i couldn't afford it. i walked over to the lot next door and bought a car cash. his arrogance cost him a sale, which sucks for him. the opinion of such a person is nothing i'd be concerned about. most of the wealthy people i know are extremely frugal and a couple could be mistaken for hobos if you didn't know better. you never know if the exotic supercar in the parking lot belongs to the surf bum napping on the beach.

 

[barkley]

Living in a rural area, people have kind of learned that farmer in the ratty bibs might be walkin around with a wad of $100 bills big enough to choke a horse. Be careful who you judge LOL

aint that the truth! the sales people at our local john deere dealership are certainly aware of this b/c they know they are much more likely to get a tens upon tens of thousand dollars cash sale on a piece of equipment from one of the dusty bib overall wearers vs. catering to the well coifed over dressed guy oogling the recreational vehicles.

 

[Marionnette]

 

[MrsTurnerLovesDisney]

years ago in my one and only sales job (I hate sales I can't sell ice to people in the desert!!) I was working my store's VIP night which was for anyone who had a store credit card. It was before the start of Christmas shopping season & I was casually chatting up a lady in older clothes who was waiting in line for a product....just casual talk well she ended up buying $2000 worth of stuff from me...I was blown away! So no I never try to judge people by their clothes, cars etc but I know it happens
I live in a small town where there is a lot of wealth (or wanna be wealth as I'm not sure all these people aren't up to their eyes in debt) and you can def get looks around here....but oh well.

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

I agree that the definition of frugal is different from person to person. I'm def.not as frugal as I could be but I do watch money more than anyone around me (though I was very very frugal when I was younger rarely buying myself anything because I figured I could save it for something later--I'm less strict with myself nowadays).

I'm well known for being frugal but I have certain things that I have spent money one. For quite a long time I bought book after book after book. Granted nearly 2/3 were bought for $3 or under at Half-Price Books with the other 1/3 being bought brand new from Borders when it was around but still.

My husband and I had our house built in late 2014 and even though I was still money conscious there were things that we spent more money on than normal mostly because it was something to put in while the house was built not after. When we were looking for a newer neighborhood to build our house we def.got THE look at select few neighborhoods. But then again most neighborhoods that were new weren't expecting a couple under 30 looking to build a house especially it being their first house that they would be buying. One neighborhood in particular was over our price range strictly due to the lot price but boy that sales lady snubbed us like none other saying outright in a condescending tone "I'm not sure that we have anything in your budget"..just so happened I only really wanted that neighborhood because it was in my preferred school district but the lots were not to my liking so it all worked out.

My car on the otherhand is 13 years old and I've owned it for 10 years paying cash outright-no car loan. My husband has had 3 cars since I've known him which is over 8 years. Mine isn't pretty and has problems being that old but it's fine for me. My husband just finished paying off his current car, something he hadn't done before because he got rid of it before it got that far into the loan, last June--he agreed to keep the car for a good while.

I also shop on the clearance rack first then peruse the rest of the store. My husband thought this was strange at first but now he does it all the time. I have rarely paid full price for any clothing item I own but that's because the idea of buying at full price just doesn't sit right with my mind.

I also think people judge on both sides..the ones who appear to not be able to afford x,y,z and those who appear to spend their money excessively because in the end you don't necessarily know if that person is very frugal in one way and not in another. Just because I drive an old vehicle that has seen better days doesn't mean I don't spend money on anything but also just because I live in a new, decent-sized house doesn't mean I spend my money on all new, nicer things.

 

[kamik86]

Its kind of funny because we almost get both the frugal and high spender lookds depending on who we are around at the time.

MY DH works at Target so he and his coworkers don't make too much, so to many of his coworkers the amount we go out to eat (at least once a week) or taking two vacations a year (a cheaper cruise then a bigger vacation) etc are being high spenders.

However I work in an engineering group and make 4 times what my DH does. However most of my coworkers have spouses that work similar types of jobs (many of them have spouses working for the same company) so they have alot more money overall then we do. They think the fact that we only have one car and it is a bit older (2007 so not as old as some of yours but the salt on the roads in winter tends to do a number on the cars around here) is crazy and don't know how we do it. Our house is significantly smaller and we live up in the Northern part of the county that is much cheaper then most of my coworkers that live more to the south.

 

[Faith Shelton]

Its funny the assumptions people make. I'm fairly certain I was given a substantial discount today because when I rolled up in my 2003 Honda Civic the business owner assumed that I couldn't afford the service I was purchasing. I got that look...

I love my little Honda Civic. Does it have a little rust, sure, but its dependable and I can drive back and forth to work for around $10 per week. I would much rather drive an old car so I can afford other things that are more important to me like traveling and having new adventures.

Have you ever gotten "that look"? Does it bother you?

That's great, maybe I can borrow your car for discounts?

 

[BellsFam]

All the time when I use to bring my lunch from home all the time. They would go out eat every day. Then complain about service and that did not have no money. LOL I could afford just fine. I like to use my break to take a nap. LOL

Ugh! I hate this! They eat out at work and are kind and invite me but I'm trying to lose weight and can't eat that food for lunch!

Plus I'm cheap so I'm not spending my money on lunch every day!

 

[kathy884]

With the tough times, real estate market crash, some stock market crashes a few years back, I think in general, at least for a while that conspicuous consumption really went out of style. // And I think lots of people really take pride in being fairly frugal -- how many miles you have on your car is a point of pride, how little you paid for something at a garage sale is a point of prid

But back to the original question. Years ago when I was doing some comparison shopping for a car -- all the way back to the 80s it was amazing how differently I was treated depending on whether I came in to look in sweats after working out or came in after work, wearing a skirted suit, etc. I actually had the opposite reaction than you did. With the sweats, the salesman didn't take the research numbers I brought in seriously and treated me like I was stupid. That didn't happen when I was wearing the business suit. I think things have changed a lot, though, with many businesses really striving to treat every customer with respect and not making assumptions about people based on outside appearances. And these days, I don't concern myself with what I'm wearing when doing car shopping. But for an interview, when giving a presentation, or something like that, I think a professional appearance helps a lot in being taken seriously.

Also based on some studies I've read it seem that people who look like they have money are treated better. In one study on this, the same man went to a train station and approached strangers regarding giving him the train fare he needed with three different looks (story was that he had accidently left his wallet at home). When dressed pretty ratty, no one would give him any money. When dressed like a middle class person, people loaned him the money, but took down his name, address, and phone number and gave them theirs as he was to pay them back. When dressed like a very successful business man in a high end business suit, the fare was just given to him, no questions asked and no request to be paid back. Pretty wild.

 

[crazelion]

Ugh! I hate this! They eat out at work and are kind and invite me but I'm trying to lose weight and can't eat that food for lunch!

Plus I'm cheap so I'm not spending my money on lunch every day!

They use go all those weird places to eat. I get laugh at because I workout at home and not got to the gym. I am doing my workouts everyday and feel great. I have lose weight no. But I can tell the difference on how I feel. I love walking in place looking at TV.

 

[Brancaneve]

I once read something that I still chuckle about today...... Some people have a "big hat and no cattle." I guess some have A LOT of cattle and no hat.

 

[seb65]

yes but it doesn't really bother me. i've been rudely chased off a car lot because the sales guy thought i couldn't afford it. i walked over to the lot next door and bought a car cash. his arrogance cost him a sale, which sucks for him. the opinion of such a person is nothing i'd be concerned about. most of the wealthy people i know are extremely frugal and a couple could be mistaken for hobos if you didn't know better. you never know if the exotic supercar in the parking lot belongs to the surf bum napping on the beach.

This happened to my husband. He has a job where he wears a uniform, so really he doesn't wear "nice" clothes. He went to purchase a camper wearing a comfy tee and shorts. The salesperson at the first lot was not nice to him and even made a comment that he couldn't afford anything. My husband left because of his attitude and purchased, the same day, a camper from the lot down the street. They have had our business since.

 

[cjbcam]

A lady at a nice jewelry store ignored my DH just before Christmas. He came all grubby from work because he wouldn't have made it to the store before closing. Anyways he asked a lady for help and she just smirked and walked away from him to chat with a coworker.
He could hear they were not talking about anything important and just waisting his time. He then asked another lady. As the nice lady was ringing him through (and making commition on it I'm sure) the other lady actually had the guts to say that was supposed to be her sale. My DH basically said too bad, you were too busy socializing. She was mad.

 

[agavegirl1]

True story...a number of years ago, my brother just graduated with his finance degree and got a job at a large regional bank in a major metropolitan area. Being from a nowhere little town, when a poorly dressed person walked in to ask to speak to a lending agent, he jumped right up from his chair to welcome them. He was able to arrange many lucrative loans for the bank by doing this and the other bankers were flabbergasted by his success. The people he approached that others ignored were farmers, skilled craftsmen with their own businesses etc. It is true that we all see the world through our own filters but be aware, not everyone's filters are the same.

 

[barkley]

A lady at a nice jewelry store ignored my DH just before Christmas. He came all grubby from work because he wouldn't have made it to the store before closing. Anyways he asked a lady for help and she just smirked and walked away from him to chat with a coworker.
He could hear they were not talking about anything important and just waisting his time. He then asked another lady. As the nice lady was ringing him through (and making commition on it I'm sure) the other lady actually had the guts to say that was supposed to be her sale. My DH basically said too bad, you were too busy socializing. She was mad.

reminds me of what happened with a hairdresser friend. at the shop she worked at the other stylist turned her nose up at clients who she judged as not meeting her standards-often those she deemed as 'cheap'. my friend on the other hand would take and give the same great customer service to anyone who walked through the door. there was one older customer in particular that was well known to be very frugal-drove a very old albeit always sparkling clean car, would ask if he could cut out the coupons in the waiting room newspaper when he came for an appointment (friend paid for it so she would always tell him 'sure, every penny counts'), often his tip to her was bags of fresh produce from his garden, and the discussions between him/my friend during his haircuts were often about what the two of them did to keep their expenses low-which my friend was a champion at as well in that she was raising her kid as a single parent. she enjoyed learning his methods b/c she was working on a multi year plan to save to replace her old clunker car.

this goes on for a few years, there are times when the other hairdresser is aghast that my friend will offer to pick up items on 'good sales' at a grocery store close to her home for the client to pick up at the shop (closer to his home/can't bring himself to 'waste the gas' to drive out to the particular store). well..................one day the client calls up my friend and asks if she could do him a favor-give him a ride to another local business. her co-worker is aghast-'so now you're his taxi?????-that cheap so and so-he never even tips you when he comes in'. friend is like 'he needs a ride, I go past his house on my way home and the other business is on the way, if it saves him some gas money i'm willing to help him out'.

the other business? a local Cadillac dealership-my friend walks in with him and learns her client is not there as a customer-SHE IS. the 'old cheap so and so'? well, the old car he's driven forever is a classic model that the dealership has been trying to buy off him FOREVER to display in the showroom but he won't budge b/c 'it's reliable and low cost to maintain', and though he's frugal, lives simply (gardening is a passion)-he's actually a multimillionaire by virtue of having won several years earlier a sweepstakes, the financial windfall of which he likes to use for 'random acts of kindness' (he's managed to keep people from finding out about it-with the exception of a few trusted friends who help him w/his acts). my friend is told by the OWNER of the dealership that her client has already researched with him the models that have the greatest reliability and cost efficiency to maintain including insurance (which the client has also researched to determine that what he estimates my friend has saved for her planned car purchase will cover the increase on for several years until it drops to around what she's currently paying) so it just comes down to her testdriving the final choices and picking the color


to say that her co-workers were floored when she came driving up with the car a week later is a gross understatement-they fell all over themselves asking where it came from-all she was would say to them was 'one of my customers gave me a really nice tip'.

 

[dvc at last !]

love this

 

[Pooh2]

When my daughter and son-in-law were just out of college, they took a cross country camping trip.

They had about 3 days of campgrounds without shower facilities and decided to stop into a diner for a hot breakfast. They chose a jumbo breakfast special to share as the meal contained a few thousand calories. The waitress came over with TWO jumbo breakfast specials and said the meal was on the house.

My daughter was a bit mortified, wondering if they looked like homeless wanders.
But it warmed my heart that somewhere on the other side of the country a kindly waitress wanted to be sure my kids had a full tummy!

 

[barkley]

Also based on some studies I've read it seem that people who look like they have money are treated better. In one study on this, the same man went to a train station and approached strangers regarding giving him the train fare he needed with three different looks (story was that he had accidently left his wallet at home). When dressed pretty ratty, no one would give him any money. When dressed like a middle class person, people loaned him the money, but took down his name, address, and phone number and gave them theirs as he was to pay them back. When dressed like a very successful business man in a high end business suit, the fare was just given to him, no questions asked and no request to be paid back. Pretty wild

some of the local scammers around here must have read these studies.

beginning back a few years ago there was an occarance of 'nicely dressed/clean cut' individuals who were approaching people around the frequented shopping/restaurant neighborhoods near us. the line they would give to people was that they had come to pick something up, realiszed they had left their wallet/purse at home-and 'just' as they went to drive back home realized they were out of gas. hit people up for $10 or so 'just to get home' (this was when gas prices were approaching $4 a gallon). always claimed to work localy (would often name one of the multiple medical centers and point toward our 'hospital hill'), often offered to provide their name, 'employee i.d.' and cell phone number (ironicly-always had managed to leave home w/o their cell phone as well-that's why they couldn't call a local co-worker to help them out).

this went on for several months, reported to law enforcement.....nothing they said they could do... UNTIL the local media jumped on to it. upshot-huge local media campaign on these scams, and if you happen to be a visitor/tourist and now visit/park in these areas-there is LARGE prominent signage that reads that if you are out of gas/are approached by someone who is out of gas-go into the nearest business, ask them to dial a certain local number that they are aware of in order to have assigned law enforcement staff report to provide 'fuel and travel assistance' yup-the number of well dressed/without wallet folks has dramatically reduced

 

[Gumbo4x4]

A lady at a nice jewelry store ignored my DH just before Christmas. He came all grubby from work because he wouldn't have made it to the store before closing. Anyways he asked a lady for help and she just smirked and walked away from him to chat with a coworker.
He could hear they were not talking about anything important and just waisting his time. He then asked another lady. As the nice lady was ringing him through (and making commition on it I'm sure) the other lady actually had the guts to say that was supposed to be her sale. My DH basically said too bad, you were too busy socializing. She was mad.

That happened to a friend & his dad when we were in HS. The dad had built a large outbuilding with tall, wide, overhead doors. He needed heavy-duty commercial garage door openers that were several hundred dollars each. The middle-aged sales guy was busy ignoring them and some teen kid working for the store asked if he could help them. My friend's dad said, "Yeah, I'm here to buy 4 of these garage door openers". Suddenly, the older sales guy was VERY interested. My friend's dad said, "You just go back to whatever you were so interested in until now. I believe this young man has it all under control". The older salesguy turned 3 shades of purple while the younger one tried (and failed) to contain his laughter.