Ever felt taking for granted when planning a trip?

[Daisychick]

Apologies if this post is a little like a rant!

We have been organising a family trip now since January and we go in October. There are 6 of us going and me and my other half have basically been asked to do everything. We booked the flights.. we sorted out the accommodation dates, we booked the car parking for everyone at the airport, we are in the process of finding a hire car to book, we booked the Disney tickets, we are trying to get tickets for the Shuttle launch whilst we are there and we have even been given the others passports so that we can fill out the ESTAs.

Now I actually aren't too bothered about that in one way as I quite like the organisation side of things and it means we can organise things the way we want to. But I am starting to feel like they are taking it all for granted. The final straw came when I was discussing how to split the hire car bill. My Mum said that we can't expect my nephew to pay for any share of the hire car (he is 6) which I kind of agree. But then she said that we would split it half and half between her and my Dad and me and my other half.

No problem ..... but my 28 year old sister is coming with us - why doesn't she have to pay? I have now found out that my Mum has paid for her flight and accomodation and I bought her the Disney ticket for her birthday and Xmas. So now that she isn't being asked for money for the car it turns out she has a free ride!!!! (and by the way - she does have a job and I have just lost mine due to ill health - which makes it worse!)

I guess by the time I get there I might have forgotten all this and I am sure I will enjoy the holiday - but at the moment I am feeling a bit aggrieved.

 

[PChef]

Oh dear! Sounds like you need to have a little chat with the family to sort things out, like paying for meals etc or it's going to become a big issue. I think it should all be split per person, OK so the 6 yr old isn't going to drive but he still needs a space in the car!

Hope you get it sorted.

 

[2Tiggies]

I really don't know what to say, but I think you could use some of these

 

[aaronandterri]

Youll also find that you get 18% gratutity added automatically if you all eat together in a reasturant, i dont mind tipping but hate being told how much and with 11 of us last christmas the tips could have bought another meal in some reasturants!

Id think youd split it 3 ways for the car hire...? but then i suppose youd hire the car if she was with you or not, is she increasing your cost at all, say for a Bigger car for example because of them 2?


We offered to take my parents and my grandpa last christmas, my dd took her best friend too so there was lots of us, i didnt mind paying for everyone flights accomodation etc but ended up paying for everything, it was silly and i ended up a bit resentful during the trip, even at a quick counter lunch reasturant everyone would just sit and bark orders at me and id go pay, it was nuts, we earn good money and i dont mind paying for some stuff and treating them, but did expect them to pay there own way out there a bit more, i should have spoken up but couldnt face it, instead i just wound myself up, has put me off inviting anyone again .

 

[Daisychick]

We are getting a bigger car because of them yes - getting a minivan which obviously we would not have to get if there was 2 or even 4 of us. And from the beginning the trip was planned for all of us. I mean I could say "well you'd be getting a car anyway if I wasn't coming along, so I shouldn't have to pay either!"

In some ways I don't mind paying the extra, it's the lack of consideration that's really winding me up. To just assume that me and my bf are happy subsidising other people is a bit much to be honest!

Thanks for the very understanding replies!

 

[strawberry blonde]

Last year we went with my SIL and her husband so we had a party of 6 instead of our usual 4. We just split the cost between the 6 of us and everyone was happy. Luckily I have a lovely SIL and she did offer to pay half but we said no.

I can understand that your situation is difficult as you have a child with you but as your sister is working and hasn't had to pay for anything else, I don't think you're being unfair asking her to pay a third. I'm sure her son will get lots of treats off everyone.

Hope you sort it out ok and that it doesn't spoil your holiday

 

[rpbert1]

-S-ounds like you need a family get together before you go, other wise like others said, you will be wound up and while you will enjoy it, could put a slight damper on it.
If you are happy to pay the car between yous, then thats ok, but i think a meeting about food and what way its to be paid, as well as fuel and parking.
Maybe a suggestion that everyone, [maybe with the exception of the child] puts in a few hundred $$ to cover the food and gratuities - parking etc, and it gets topped up when needed by everyone putting the same amount in, might help, could save any disagreements, and make things easier for you.

 

[crabbie1]

In my opinion and if I was your sister I would be really grateful that you had sorted everything out for everyone. If you ignore the fact the 6 year old wont be contributing then it should be split between the five of you.That way your sister pays her share.I do agree though that if this happens now before you go you may find your parents paying for one meal out and you the other.As there are a group of you going it should be all sorted with a meeting before you go.You can incorporate perhaps itinerys and who wants to do what.Surely your sister cannot expect you and your parents to pay for all her trip.It is difficult and I would feel the same especially if you go shopping and she ends up spending a fortune on clothes etc and you come back with a yankee candle Bills should be split equally by 5 and each agree one night to pay the tip or again split by 5. Are you on the DDP? That will make it easier as you can all take in turns to pay the tip.
I too would probably feel a bit bitter towards my sister but then she may well have planned to pay her share for food etc.
Hope you sort this out-very difficult but like others have said its best to get it off your chest before you go.

 

[dixonsontour]

Oh that sounds akward - I agree about trying to sort it before you go - you don't want to be arguing on your trip or feeling resentful.

I'd have thought a 3 way split on the car was fair - I don't understand the he's 6 argument he needs a seat in the car so you are hiring a more expensive car to accomodate.

There are 3 families going as I see it - you and DH, mum and dad, sister and son. Does your sister still live at home - maybe that is why your mum is seeing 2 families - does that make sense?

I'd try and get time on your own on holiday. Tell them your plans for the day/adr's and if they come ok but if they don't want to get up etc that's their luck out.

Don't think we'd ever go to Florida with friends or family. We used to go away alot with friends in the Uk and I was 'tour leader' which could be interesting at times!!!

Hope everything works out

 

[T16GEM]

I also think you should all sit down and sort out what will need to be paid for while you are away, tips, food etc.

From experience when ever we go with others we rent two cars, we did the single car thing and things ended up a bit tense as our friends don't have kids and they wanted to do different things to us. We just found it was easier that way, it stressed me out so much that my DH actually offered to pay for a car for them half way through the holiday.

It will be easier if you do it before you go as you don't want to spoil your holiday, especially after you have planned it all so well

 

[matt1902]

Personally I think you should sit down with the family and air all of this out. You dont have to be nasty about it, just put your case forward and your reasoning for it, it may make for an uncomfortable conversation, but better that it happens now before the trip, than it happening on the trip or you not getting full enjoyment out of the trip because it is all sitting on your mind.

Take care

 

[jackieleanne]

I definately think that you should have a sit down and talk about this, its not fair that you have to do that.

Hope you get things sorted before your trip.

 

[ALBA]

I feel your pain.

We went with in June/July with my BIL, SIL and their two kids. I ended up looking for our flights and their flights...as they didn't know where to start, I booked the villa, car hire..we saved a fortune on the expedia glitch, park tickets and everything else....what thanks did I get for it absolutely nothing. I don't mind doing these things but it gets to the stage of taking the mick.

Like everyone has said I would definitely sit down and discuss some basics before going. We found out half way through the holiday my brother hadn't really brought enough money with him and although he had a credit card he wasn't prepared to use it so they wanted to eat at buffet and quick service restaurants whereas we didn't and it became awkward as we only had one car. It kind of put a dampner on the holiday. DH said he would do it again but we would have separate cars so we could do what we wanted and he is even thinking separate villas!

Alba