Ettiquite question

[Colorado Mom]

Mornin' Everyone!
I have a what would you do question. As you might have heard, here in Colorado we have been blasted by snow. On our block we have a good foot and a half still around 2 weeks after the fisrt storm. Anyway, everyone has been digging out and shoveling and we are lucky enough to have a snow blower. The husband used it for our walk and then did the neighbors for both storms. Not a big deal, just took a few minutes extra.
A few days ago the neighbor sent their kid over with $60 in gift cards to Outback as a thank you. We feel really odd about this, too much for a quick job. We both said we have to give it back, too much and we feel funny about it.
Now, would you keep it? Would returning it be rude??

The neighbor is on a corner lot, it was heavy snow and they both are big smokers and we did wonder which would have a heart attack first. I know they really appreciate what we did, not sure that they would have ever gotten any sidewalk done on their own. We want that sidewalk done because it's the way to the bus stop and there is no way to walk in the street right now.

Ands, I don't know iif this makes a dif but we think they had the $50 gift card already and just added a $10 card to it from they way it looks, but not totally sure about that.

 

[mickeyboat]

I would graciously accept the gift and let it go. How nice of your family to help your neighbors in that way. Maybe they are re-gifting because their New Year's resolution is to eat healthier. So you are helping them again!

Denae

 

[mrsv98]

They obviously think it was a big deal and that is the point. YOu are great neighbors and should accept the thanks graciously. Have a nice meal and drink to their continued health!

 

[jeriber]

Mornin' Everyone!
I have a what would you do question. As you might have heard, here in Colorado we have been blasted by snow. On our block we have a good foot and a half still around 2 weeks after the fisrt storm. Anyway, everyone has been digging out and shoveling and we are lucky enough to have a snow blower. The husband used it for our walk and then did the neighbors for both storms. Not a big deal, just took a few minutes extra.
A few days ago the neighbor sent their kid over with $60 in gift cards to Outback as a thank you. We feel really odd about this, too much for a quick job. We both said we have to give it back, too much and we feel funny about it.
Now, would you keep it? Would returning it be rude??

The neighbor is on a corner lot, it was heavy snow and they both are big smokers and we did wonder which would have a heart attack first. I know they really appreciate what we did, not sure that they would have ever gotten any sidewalk done on their own. We want that sidewalk done because it's the way to the bus stop and there is no way to walk in the street right now.

Ands, I don't know iif this makes a dif but we think they had the $50 gift card already and just added a $10 card to it from they way it looks, but not totally sure about that.

You should keep it. Your hubby did a nice thing and they are repaying him. They probably would have paid that much or more to have someone else do it. Enjoy a night out with your hubby!

 

[ckay87]

I would graciously accept. The amount is not necessarily a fair market value for the services, but it expresses their level of gratitude for your generosity. It WAS very generous of you. Probably most people would have sat around and complained that their kids couldn't get to the bus stop because neighbor didn't shovel.

Regift or not, it is still $$$ from their pocket. It is basically cash that they had that they gave to you. Irrelevant where the cash came from. For example, my uncle gave us $40 in a card for Christmas. I gave a neice $20 in a card for Christmas. Did I re-gift?

So anyway, bless you, you are so nice. Wish like heck you were MY neighbor!

 

[pansmermaidzlagoon]

I would probably accept it - but mention to them that, although appreciated, it was not necessary to pay you back in such a way - let them know you feel that is just what neighbors do!!!

Something similar happened to us - we had just moved in...neighbors went skiing for over a week. We knew they had a son in the area, but the drive piled up with days worth of snow. This to us is a security risk - as people know you are not home. DH eventually went out and unburied the drive and cars. Their son never did show up. Neighbors seemed really uncomfortable and said it wasn't necessary..but really, they would not have been able to get in their drive when they got home from vacation. She came over with a bottle wine a couple days later.

Again, at our new home, we have older neighbors...he has made it very clear (nicely, but firmly) they will pay us back for any work done or they will never ask us again - so we graciously accept it, so that we can continue to help our neighbors when they need it. I would rather they feel comfortable asking us.

 

[poohandwendy]

I agree, graciously accept it.

 

[FroggyinArk]

i run a homerepair service, and one of our best customersis a close neighbor, that watches our house and cats when we go on vacaation,, she is the worlds biuggest tipper.

we havea huge yard and love to landscape,, she works in a nursery, and will bring us plants all the time, ( cause she likes the eway they look in our yard, or she boughht some for her containers and had way too many, or she knewwe ewre looking for a certain plant and some just came in?) she refuses to let us pay her back for any of the plants, refuses any pay or thank you gift of any sort for watching our place, and will call the more expensive contractors for aprice on work at her house, then pay us what they would have charged even though its double or more our regular rates. we finnally stopped trying to argue with her on that, and now i'll take her pup a treat when theyare outwalking, or take them some cookies and stuff when i make them.

 

[salmoneous]

You have to accept it. If you are still feeling a bit uneasy - use the card to treat them to dinner.

 

[ducklite]

I had a similar situation about a month ago--my neighbors gave me a HUGE cash gift for keeping an eye on thier home for them. (They actually live outside the US)

I felt terrible about accepting it, and then was talked into accepting that they gave it because they value my friendship and what I do to help them out.

In my case I'm going to use it to have some citrus trees planted in the yard, and encourage them to help themselves once they begin to bear fruit.

I think you just need to keep it. You can call them and thank them, and tell them that the favor was done to be a good neighbor and they should not feel obligated to give you anything.

It's nice having good neighbors though, isn't it?

Anne

 

[Beth76]

I have to say that $60 is a strange amount (why not $50?). But, perhaps that's what they spend when they go there, so they wanted to make sure your dinner was covered. You should definitely keep it because you did a very nice thing and that's what it was worth to them. If you're really feeling strange about it, ask them to join you for dinner.

 

[schnerk]

I would accept the cards, and then offer to go out to dinner with them. This way you can all enjoy it...

 

[JunieJay]

I would graciously accept the gift and let it go. How nice of your family to help your neighbors in that way. Maybe they are re-gifting because their New Year's resolution is to eat healthier. So you are helping them again!

Denae

ITA! Enjoy your dinner at Outback, OP!

 

[poohandwendy]

It's nice having good neighbors though, isn't it?

Anne

That is exactly why your neighbor and the OPs neighbor went out of their way to show their appreciation. Not because they are obligated, but because they value you. The same reason you went out of your way for them.

I think in cases like this it's best not to think about the monetary value (ie feeling bad that they spent so much), and just realize they did it because they really wanted to. To refuse would be insulting, IMHO.

 

[Sandy V.]

I agree; accept it graciously. You sound like a good neighbor.

And by the way, I hope your streets are plowed better than ours. We still have a lot of single-lane roads!! My kids are convinced that it will be June until we see bare ground again.

 

[Melisa1]

I agree - I would keep it. What a nice gesture from them.

 

[Colorado Mom]

Thanks everyone! I will talk with the husband and make them a pound cake as a thank you.

And to be totally honest, it isn't all just goodness in our hearts. We really want these kids to get to the school bus and having a family snowbound for a week makes you think of ways to get outside for a bit- the kids got a drum set and guitar hero 2 for Christmas.

 

[poohandwendy]

Thanks everyone! I will talk with the husband and make them a pound cake as a thank you.

And to be totally honest, it isn't all just goodness in our hearts. We really want these kids to get to the school bus and having a family snowbound for a week makes you think of ways to get outside for a bit- the kids got a drum set and guitar hero 2 for Christmas.

LOL, doesn't matter, it still helps them out and it looks like they really appreciate it!

Enjoy your steak!

 

[Colorado Mom]

I agree; accept it graciously. You sound like a good neighbor.

And by the way, I hope your streets are plowed better than ours. We still have a lot of single-lane roads!! My kids are convinced that it will be June until we see bare ground again.

Sandy..... Nope, we are barely 1 lane in most side streets here and they canceled school today! Now I love my kids and love the days off and spending time with them... BUT, I was totally set for today being my only day off, and alone, for 2 weeks and when they said 1 more day off school I just couldn't belive it. I had to call the hotline 2 more times to be sure I heard correctly. I think we'll go sledding

 

[Sandy V.]

Sandy..... Nope, we are barely 1 lane in most side streets here and they canceled school today! Now I love my kids and love the days off and spending time with them... BUT, I was totally set for today being my only day off, and alone, for 2 weeks and when they said 1 more day off school I just couldn't belive it. I had to call the hotline 2 more times to be sure I heard correctly. I think we'll go sledding

Sorry to hear that. I also enjoy having my kids around as well, but it will be a little nice to have them go back so I can have the house to myself during the day (I work from home 2/3 of the time). DS starts tomorrow at the high school, and has to finish up on missed first semester finals. DD doesn't have to go back to CU-Boulder until around the 15th.

Have fun sledding!!! Stay warm.