Escape Etiquette Question

[beDONce]

I am planning an Escape wedding for up to 18 guests at Sea Breeze Point. I am having no real "reception" to follow, but we were thinking about a nice dinner at a resort followed by fireworks.

My question is this: what exactly am I expected to pay for for my guests? We are planning on getting everyone matching shirts for the parks as well as cute welcome kits, but as far as tickets, the dinner that follows the wedding, etc, how much comes out of my pocket?

 

[lirija]

If you invite people to a wedding, especially a destination wedding, it's expected that you will be paying for a meal. Double so if you are expecting them to attend an in-park event. Many brides schedule dessert parties (they pay) or if you are trying to keep costs low, have a brunch after a morning reception and meet again later that evening to view fireworks outside the park, like the beach at Poly. That is free.

 

[beDONce]

If you invite people to a wedding, especially a destination wedding, it's expected that you will be paying for a meal. Double so if you are expecting them to attend an in-park event. Many brides schedule dessert parties (they pay) or if you are trying to keep costs low, have a brunch after a morning reception and meet again later that evening to view fireworks outside the park, like the beach at Poly. That is free.

Thank you SO much! This helps a lot!!

 

[Lorelei528]

We didn't buy park tickets for any guests, but my mom paid for these meals for our guests..
We did a meet and greet Safari dinner the night before the wedding (a Grand Gathering which they don't do anymore).
The dinner reception (after the wedding) in Jiko
The dessert party in Morocco.
The breakfast the next morning

We did another dinner that night, but it was up to the guest to pay their own there. All our guests had meal plans though too..

 

[bigr3ddog]

There is no admission charge for in park events. In other words, if your ceremony or reception is in the park, your guests do not have to have tickets. However, everyone would need specialized Disney transportation to enter from backstage, which the couple would have to pay for. If you have an in park dessert party, then Disney charges the couple a $13 viewing fee for each person without park admission.

Escape weddings do not come with big receptions or meals. There is cake cutting and a toast. My interpretation is that a meal is up to the couple, but that's just me.

 

[BouncyTrouncyFlouncy]

I think it really depends on the atmosphere you set for the wedding. If you make it a formal invitation kind of thing, then I would think you should pay for dinner for people. However, if it's more of a "if you want to come, come. We'd love to have you" but you make it clear that guests are expected to pay for their meals, then it's their choice to come and just be a part of your day or not.

I went to a destination wedding in Maui once of a granddaughter of a friend of my mom's (my mom used it as an excuse for a vacation ). It was a very small ceremony in a garden. I think only attendants, parents, and grandparents were there. The bride and groom said they were going to a Luau after the ceremony, but we were aware we were to pay our own way if we wanted to join them. We went, and it was fine. It was our choice to go or not. At first I was a little surprised since there weren't many people there and I was used to the bride/groom paying for a "reception," but looking back on it, I can see why they did it. It wasn't a big or traditional wedding, the travel expense was a lot as it is, and the guests knew what was expected.

Now I was not a family member of the wedding party, so I wasn't really attached to this wedding, and the whole point for me to be there was a vacation. So none of that bothered me. But I think it really depends on if the guests understand the expectations up front. If they choose to go knowing they have to pay, then they obviously don't mind. But for others it might be a deal breaker based upon finances and travel distance.

Oh, and I would NOT expect the bride/groom to pay for tickets for me to the parks especially since park tickets are not required even for ceremonies in the parks. The main purpose is your wedding; it is the guests' choice if they want to go to the parks on their own. HOWEVER, I would not, then organize a group event of a day in the parks or eating at a specific park restaurant that DOES require park tickets in case your guests are not planning on getting tickets. That would put them in a position of either not going and feeling left out or being forced to buy tickets they didn't intend (and maybe not budget) to buy.

Good luck!

 

[Tinker74]

How about meal at Ohana in the poly followed by fireworks on the beach? {so no worries who has tickets and who doesn't}

I think ohana would be great for a big party and its a set price for each person so easier to work out the full cost.
Plus who can resist a cocktail in a pineapple!!

 

[DanieD0909]

We were married at the swan in 2010 and loved it! What we did was we invited everyone to the park for some fun the day before the wedding but made it clear that we were not paying for park admission. Luckily that was the year you could volunteer and receive a free days admission in return. We offered that option to them but only one of them took us up on it. The rest paid their own way in.
For dinner, it definitely took some work but I managed to get the direct phone number for the Sanaa restaurant at Kidani Village and worked directly with the manager there. He had us set up in a semi-private area and we had a menu created for us which included wine, soup, bread service, and the entree. They were awesome to work with - we had two dedicated servers for 22 ppl. My mom paid for the meal so I don't know exactly how much it was but I am pretty sure it was less an $1000.

How we handled this all was to send a letter with an itinerary with our save the dates. We just spelled out how much admission was to the parks and how they could go about getting tickets.

Good luck and congrats!!!

 

[Dignity]

As far as what you should pay for from what you said:

Your wedding includes the 18 guests, cake, champagne, etc.

Dinner - would be up to Bride and groom to provide. Honestly, I think it's rather rude to not provide your guests with at least one meal after the wedding (brunch/lunch/dinner depending on what time your wedding is). In most cases a WDW is a destination wedding where you are expecting your guests to: take time off work, pay to get to the destination, pay to stay at the destination, pay for their attire, etc.

Dessert Party (if you're planning on hosting) - again this would be a wedding related activity that the bride and groom should pay for. Location + setup fees make the venues around $335 ($250 site fee + $85 setup fee). There is a $12.95 viewing fee for guests who do not have tickets to the park for that day. And of course there is a 'per person' fee per plate.


I would say a basic rule for the wedding day is that any Wedding related event that guests are expected to attend is on the bride and groom to make sure associated fees are covered.

I'm also taking care of day-of transportation for my guests after they are on park-property. Our current plan: Provide transportation to SBP for our wedding, walk to our dinner location, walk/bus to our dessert party - then bus everybody to their resort location from dessert party. Remember you do get 4 consecutive hours of limo service, the limo can hold 8 people and make unlimited trips.

 

[Kiki La Reu]

I am planning an Escape wedding for up to 18 guests at Sea Breeze Point. I am having no real "reception" to follow, but we were thinking about a nice dinner at a resort followed by fireworks.

My question is this: what exactly am I expected to pay for for my guests? We are planning on getting everyone matching shirts for the parks as well as cute welcome kits, but as far as tickets, the dinner that follows the wedding, etc, how much comes out of my pocket?

I'm sure with an intimate wedding, the guests are VERY CLOSE family and friends, so I'm sure they understand your circumstances if there are any...(such as budget etc.) I do agree that some sort of food should be provided. I have never actually seen it but I've read that the Escape package can have an upgrade of 'limited hor douvres' offered for an additional fee as well as additional drinks...now I'm not sure because I haven't booked anything yet, but in my research I've seen it as an option...if it still is, or ever was, or if it's true is a whole other story Seems that hard core facts and options about Disney weddings are sort of hard to come by, and nail down. But I would be willing to bet that they are very much willing to work with you. Perhaps when you call tell them your budget and what you would like to provide and they can give options. Also...I went to a DFTW a few years back and the bride and groom provided a reception meal and the dessert party and literally everything else was up to the guests to pay for on their own (park tickets, other meals, hotel stay etc.) I even had to find my own transportation to the wedding but I was fine with it!! I agree that you are asking people to travel to be a part of your day, but I also look at is you giving them the honor of being a select few to be involved...also an excuse to take a vacation YOu definitely want to be gracious but you don't have to pay for every last thing during their stay...

 

[beDONce]

Also...I went to a DFTW a few years back and the bride and groom provided a reception meal and the dessert party and literally everything else was up to the guests to pay for on their own (park tickets, other meals, hotel stay etc.) I even had to find my own transportation to the wedding but I was fine with it!! I agree that you are asking people to travel to be a part of your day, but I also look at is you giving them the honor of being a select few to be involved...also an excuse to take a vacation YOu definitely want to be gracious but you don't have to pay for every last thing during their stay...

You and I are becoming fast friends!! You always have wonderful advice!

I think I'm going to send out a tentative itinerary with the invitations that suggest which hotel to stay at, to choose the meal plan, etc. Clearly, not everyone NEEDS to choose these things but I'm planning on it going down like this:

Saturday: Guests (and couple) arrives, spends a night in the park Saturday, Sun, Mon.
Tues: wedding @ SBP. Dinner...somewhere to follow.
Weds: the honeymoon has begun. Guests can go home or continue the vacation by themselves.

I want to take care of the guests...somehow, but I'd prefer if "somehow" were the thriftiest way possible... Haha

 

[majix]

Saturday: Guests (and couple) arrives, spends a night in the park Saturday, Sun, Mon. Tues: wedding @ SBP. Dinner...somewhere to follow. Weds: the honeymoon has begun. Guests can go home or continue the vacation by themselves. I want to take care of the guests...somehow, but I'd prefer if "somehow" were the thriftiest way possible... Haha

Love this! I like thrifty too! Your wedding seems to be a lot like mine, on a Tuesday! Woot!

 

[beDONce]

Love this! I like thrifty too! Your wedding seems to be a lot like mine, on a Tuesday! Woot!

We'll have to share ideas! I'm trying to make an agenda (I know I have a year and a half, I'm just excited!), but I changed the itinerary 3 times already! Haha!

 

[Kiki La Reu]

You and I are becoming fast friends!! You always have wonderful advice!

I think I'm going to send out a tentative itinerary with the invitations that suggest which hotel to stay at, to choose the meal plan, etc. Clearly, not everyone NEEDS to choose these things but I'm planning on it going down like this:

Saturday: Guests (and couple) arrives, spends a night in the park Saturday, Sun, Mon.
Tues: wedding @ SBP. Dinner...somewhere to follow.
Weds: the honeymoon has begun. Guests can go home or continue the vacation by themselves.

I want to take care of the guests...somehow, but I'd prefer if "somehow" were the thriftiest way possible... Haha

Your plans sound great! The good thing is you have time to keep researching and tweak your plans until you get it perfect! It'll be great...enjoy the planning time