Epic Fail

[FigmentSpark]

I may be cruel but if it was me... I think I would pretend to cancel and then tell him that something came up and we won't be able to go on vacation at all for his birthday...

Or just say I cancelled his part and will go on vacation alone with daddy since he did not like the plans.

That way he might realize that being able to go on vacation (especially such an expensive vacation) is something you should be grateful for... ?

That would work for a teenager, but not for a 6 year old. That would only make a young child feel threatened, not secure in his relationship or position in the family. a 5 or 6 year old (or 9 year old even) doesn't have the ability to think in the way such a threat is intended to work.

 

[wombat_5606]

You could do what I did with my children about 20 years ago, after having a conversation with them about their recent Christmas and birthday gifts. Neither girl could remember what they had received as gifts. They knew that they had toys and things that they enjoyed, but they couldn't remember where they came from.

I sat them down and asked them for the upcoming holidays if they would rather have gifts or memories. They both chose memories and that's what we did until they became adults. Now they would rather have cash.

 

[dragynally]

I just think with kids, they get overwhelmed and hung up on small details that wouldn't bother us as adults. My 12 yr old daughter bawled when we told her we were going to our favorite Caribbean resort for a winter vacay; she didn't want to miss two days of school! Go figure! Of course, she was fine 2 hrs later, but it was definitely a case of mentally her plans were altered and she just needed time to deal with it and process it. We still laugh about it!

This was me as a kid. This is me now!

 

[Asherry25]

After asking about a sibling for years, this was basically my son's reaction to finding out he was going to be a big brother. We never saw it coming. FWIW, when the pressure of "the surprise" was off, he was thrilled (and we learned not to surprise him)!

 

[MunFam]

OH, 6 year olds...you just never know. We have a 6 year old now. I did corporate event planning for years, so she always had very elaborate birthday parties. Last year, I actually asked her what she wanted...she said she wanted a purple balloon (check!), a Costco Hotdog (check!), and a batman mask (check!!) $10 later, she proclaimed it to be her best birthday ever.

We have given up on surprises and ask her what she wants now when we travel. Usually, it involves campfires, games, hikes and lots of family time. Occasionally, she wants to ride a horse or something, but for the most part, she is a minimalist.

I hope you are able to get your money back on your cruise, or have a good time if you end up going.

 

[mevelandry]

That would work for a teenager, but not for a 6 year old. That would only make a young child feel threatened, not secure in his relationship or position in the family. a 5 or 6 year old (or 9 year old even) doesn't have the ability to think in the way such a threat is intended to work.

I guess I had bad parents.

 

[Cackyschmackers]

she said she wanted a purple balloon (check!), a Costco Hotdog (check!), and a batman mask (check!!) $10 later, she proclaimed it to be her best birthday ever.

This is awesome!

 

[bcwife76]

This was my oldest daughters' reaction when I told her we were going to Disneyland last August. We had been there October 2015 and ended up returning August 2016. She rolled her eyes (oh yes she did!) and said "oh god mom, not Disneyland again!" I was quite taken aback. We stayed at HOJO (which has a waterpark onsite) to make it more 'fun' (can you imagine?!!) On our last night we are walking through thick crowds as PTN had just ended and we were trying to get out of the park 30 minutes before closing. She bursts into tears and keeps saying something incoherent over and over. Finally I get what she is saying "I'm going to miss Disneyland and I don't know when we will be back and I want to stay here forever".



Vindication! Haha Kids are fickle, they don't really know what they want from one minute to the next. Yes, it's disappointing for us to hear things like 'why are we going on this cruise again????' but trust me, once he's on it he'll be SO happy!

 

[DLgal]

This thread reminds me of when I was 15 and my parents announced that our summer vacation would be an Alaska cruise (on the Sun Princess, which was brand new at the time.)

My sisters and I whined and were moody about it for MONTHS. Our chief complaint was we didn't want to go somewhere COLD in the summer! (The horror). I imagine my parents were pretty aggravated by our attitudes.

That was my favorite family vacation ever. Alaska was freaking amazing!

Kids are the worst sometimes.

 

[nearlyfallinstar]

We want to keep this taking a trip for his birthday a tradition in our family...we don't take a summer trip other than the one for his bday every year...I'd much rather spend money on us going somewhere as a family than on a birthday party. Birthday parties stress me out to the max! We're going to keep this tradition going I'm just going to tell him where we're going every year instead of giving him choices

Absolutely! You do whatever works for your family! We have always done the small family birthday party for our kids, but my oldest is getting close to being too old. I was thinking that maybe the first year that she has outgrown the birthday party, I may take her to NYC (she's talked about going for over a year now...no idea why). After that we would switch to the special event for the birthday (shopping with friends, theater, movie, whatever). No matter what you do, there will always be naysayers and a point where the kid has to alter their expectations!

 

[darnheather]

I'm the one who wants to cancel our upcoming trip to do something else. When we first got home from the last cruise I couldn't wait to cruise again. Now I just want to rent a cabin in Maine or RV across Canada.

 

[Anna Chassereau]

This was my oldest daughters' reaction when I told her we were going to Disneyland last August. We had been there October 2015 and ended up returning August 2016. She rolled her eyes (oh yes she did!) and said "oh god mom, not Disneyland again!" I was quite taken aback. We stayed at HOJO (which has a waterpark onsite) to make it more 'fun' (can you imagine?!!) On our last night we are walking through thick crowds as PTN had just ended and we were trying to get out of the park 30 minutes before closing. She bursts into tears and keeps saying something incoherent over and over. Finally I get what she is saying "I'm going to miss Disneyland and I don't know when we will be back and I want to stay here forever".



Vindication! Haha Kids are fickle, they don't really know what they want from one minute to the next. Yes, it's disappointing for us to hear things like 'why are we going on this cruise again????' but trust me, once he's on it he'll be SO happy!

Haha vindication for sure!!! You're right...kids are fickle and don't know what they want from one minute to the next! I needed that reminder! And I hope you're right that he'll be so happy and have an amazing time on this trip! I know his parents will!! Haha

 

[Anna Chassereau]

This thread reminds me of when I was 15 and my parents announced that our summer vacation would be an Alaska cruise (on the Sun Princess, which was brand new at the time.)

My sisters and I whined and were moody about it for MONTHS. Our chief complaint was we didn't want to go somewhere COLD in the summer! (The horror). I imagine my parents were pretty aggravated by our attitudes.

That was my favorite family vacation ever. Alaska was freaking amazing!

Kids are the worst sometimes.

I agree they are the worst!! Haha They are know it alls but yet the majority of the time have no idea what they're talking about! lol I agree Alaska is amazing! We cruised Alaska with Princess in 2009 and it was an incredible trip! Glad you ended up enjoying your trip up there

 

[cruiser21]

I've never paid Disney Summer prices so I'm sure it adds a bit of anxiety to the trip. Do you have to go on his Birthday? Is there a less expensive time of year to sail such as Fall break or late August, early September. Whatever you decide to do cruise or something else enjoy your time with your son. It goes so fast.

 

[mandylovesdisney]

I say go anyway. He will have a blast once he's on he ship!

 

[Imahikergirl]

My teenager told me she was done with Disney and didn't ever want to go back. She wanted to travel to other places, blah, blah. Hubby and I had a weekend off so we decided to hop in the car and find a hotel along the FL coast - turned out it was Daytona Bike week and it was packed. WDW was only 2 more hours drive, so we called Disney and the CM found us a room and we continued on. Texted daughter a picture of this hat hubby was admiring - got a text back asking "WTH? Did you go to Disney without me". Apparently there was a tiny metal Mickey on the hatband. The next year she was flying off to Australia for a gap year trip and asked for a family weekend in WDW before she left. My point is this, OP, I wouldn't worry too much about your little guys reaction, because children can be prone to change their minds.

As for the whole birthday party thing. For me growing up, we would get to pick one friend to invite to dinner and a movie, my choice. For my daughter, I'd let her invite a very small group of friends and we'd do the bowling alley or some such thing. Traditions for each family can be a different as we all are. Enjoy your family vacations!

 

[ajh88]

Oh how DD and I have had these appreciation conversations! She is a good kid and typically appreciates things but once in awhile she just doesn't react like I would hope. Most recently, we have been planning a large family cruise to Alaska (with my parents and my sister's family too). I asked her if she was excited about it - her response was "I'd rather go on a European cruise." Ugh! But, I get that Alaska is MY dream, not hers. So if she is being brutally honest, she would prefer a different trip. However, that doesn't mean she won't go or won't have fun.

She also does NOT like surprises (at least certain kinds). We decided to invite one of her friends on our upcoming trip (when we are celebrating her 16th birthday) and as much as we wanted to surprise her with that, we decided to tell her in advance. Partly so they could look forward to it together and partly so she wouldn't freak out about it.

At 5, I think kids are pretty much all about instant gratification - it is a difficult concept to grasp something fun that is happening relatively far in their future. I know its hard not to take it personally but like so many others have said, he will have a great time!

 

[gotomu212]

I think it's fair to consider that people (even kids) have different likes and preferences and I don't think it's just kids these days are spoiled. When I was a kid my family LOVED to go to this remote lake-hike, fish, live rough- I didn't enjoy it. My parents would announce we were going- my brother would yell YAY and I'd go start packing books and bug spray.

Flip to high school my parents announce a beach trip to Hawaii and I was over the moon jumping around the room screaming you're the best parents ever; my brother said can't we just go to the lake (I think I threw a pillow at him).

I don't think youre raising a selfish child by any stretch- people just have different tastes and he doesn't fake excitement. My husband has the same reaction to Disney (it's just not his cup of tea)

 

[dani24]

My parents did not have much money. Our big yearly vacation was a two week camping trip with family. So, when my parents scrimped and saved to take us to Disneyland (the only time we did so as a family) when I was 12 and my brothers were 8 and 6, I think my parents expected us to lose our minds. They surprised us for Christmas (and we left the next day). My dad had the video camera running, and I think he was sort of hoping we'd wig out so he could send it in to America's Funniest Home Videos for a shot at winning (and then being able to pay off the trip with the prize money). Instead, we just sort of stood there staring at him like he had just told us we were going to the grocery store tomorrow. My parents were pretty disappointed at our reaction. However, we had the BEST vacation. In fact, it was so good that my brothers and I (who were known for our sibling conflict) didn't fight or misbehave once on the entire trip. My parents were flabbergasted at how well behaved we all were (especially after watching many other kids melt down around us). We all knew how special this trip was and were too busy soaking it all up to care about anything else.

Then there's my daughter who, at 2.5 years old, whined about wanting to go back to school while we were in Disneyland! Kids are fickle. And they don't say the things they do to hurt their parents. They just often don't understand how privledged they are, and may not until they're grown.

 

[dragynally]

My parents did not have much money. Our big yearly vacation was a two week camping trip with family. So, when my parents scrimped and saved to take us to Disneyland (the only time we did so as a family) when I was 12 and my brothers were 8 and 6, I think my parents expected us to lose our minds. They surprised us for Christmas (and we left the next day). My dad had the video camera running, and I think he was sort of hoping we'd wig out so he could send it in to America's Funniest Home Videos for a shot at winning (and then being able to pay off the trip with the prize money). Instead, we just sort of stood there staring at him like he had just told us we were going to the grocery store tomorrow. My parents were pretty disappointed at our reaction. However, we had the BEST vacation. In fact, it was so good that my brothers and I (who were known for our sibling conflict) didn't fight or misbehave once on the entire trip. My parents were flabbergasted at how well behaved we all were (especially after watching many other kids melt down around us). We all knew how special this trip was and were too busy soaking it all up to care about anything else.

Then there's my daughter who, at 2.5 years old, whined about wanting to go back to school while we were in Disneyland! Kids are fickle. And they don't say the things they do to hurt their parents. They just often don't understand how privledged they are, and may not until they're grown.

I love this story!