Epic Fail

[Anna Chassereau]

Ugh sorry for this post but I am just so disappointed. So we are booked, paid in full for our cruise on the Fantasy in August. We'd planned to surprise our son with this trip...his 6th birthday will be while we're on the ship. We spent his 5th birthday on the Dream this past summer and we all had the time of our lives so my husband and I thought why not do it again.

Well my husband slipped up a little tonight at dinner...we were planning on waiting until way closer to to tell him. Well my husband accidentally slipped up and said a little too much and my son caught on...he begged and begged us to tell him so we gave in and told him what we were doing this year for his birthday. His reaction? "I wanted to go to New York or do something else. We did that last year...we've already done that." And he seemed less than excited. Like zero excitement.

I knows he's just a kid and doesn't understand but it just sucked to hear that. Maybe we made a mistake by doing this again right after going last summer? I'm just shocked at his reaction. I expected him to be so happy we were doing this again after the great time we had this past summer. And then I got annoyed thinking about how much I wish I could have done something like this when I was little...we never had the money for any trip like this when I was growing up. If this cruise wasn't paid in full I swear I'd think twice about going.

Sorry for the negative, Debbie downer post...I just needed to vent. Someone please tell me I didn't just completely waste $8,000 on a trip my son isn't going to even be excited about! Ugh!

 

[wilkeliza]

Even if your son doesn't have fun make sure you and your hubby do. If he is anything like my nephew he will complain all the way up to the trip and then once he is on it he'll completely forget he was the one complaining about it haha.

 

[cruiser21]

Kids are funny that way. As a mom to two teenagers I can tell you don't set your expectations too high when it comes to kids appreciating things you did for them. I would do it for yourself and not revolve everything around your child. You're the one that's going to have the great memories of spending time with your six year old. In 5-10 years he won't even remember this trip.

 

[Anna Chassereau]

Even if your son doesn't have fun make sure you and your hubby do. If he is anything like my nephew he will complain all the way up to the trip and then once he is on it he'll completely forget he was the one complaining about it haha.

Haha oh yes with the amount of money we've put into this trip my husband and I are going to have fun even if our son doesn't! I see several cocktails at Palo in my future!!

 

[Anna Chassereau]

Kids are funny that way. As a mom to two teenagers I can tell you don't set your expectations too high when it comes to kids appreciating things you did for them. I would do it for yourself and not revolve everything around your child. You're the one that's going to have the great memories of spending time with your six year old. In 5-10 years he won't even remember this trip.

Yes I needed this reminder thank you!! You're right he likely won't remember much and I know kids don't typically appreciate what their parents do for them until their way older...

I think I just had this picture in my mind of his reaction and it wasn't anywhere close to what his reaction was tonight which is really my fault for even having expectations from a 5 year old...

 

[Club Disney Chandler]

Even if it's paid in full you can get all your money back, unless its concierge. He'll probably be fine by the time he gets there, but if it's going to cause you 5 months of angst, and you won't enjoy the cruise because you'll be too busy trying to make sure he's having fun, it won't be worth it.

 

[Anna Chassereau]

Even if it's paid in full you can get all your money back, unless its concierge. He'll probably be fine by the time he gets there, but if it's going to cause you 5 months of angst, and you won't enjoy the cruise because you'll be too busy trying to make sure he's having fun, it won't be worth it.

I didn't realize you could get a refund after you PIF....I'm really hoping he'll get more excited about it but if he isn't doing so in the next month I just might do that...

Before he went to bed he did ask me about the Aquaduck and mini golf and if they were on this ship so there's ️hope lol

 

[cruiser21]

Yes I needed this reminder thank you!! You're right he likely won't remember much and I know kids don't typically appreciate what their parents do for them until their way older...

I think I just had this picture in my mind of his reaction and it wasn't anywhere close to what his reaction was tonight which is really my fault for even having expectations from a 5 year old...

The last thing you wan't to do is cater to the whims of a child especially a 6 year old, and for sure not a teenager. We've been on 21 cruises all over the place. My 13 year old hates getting off the ship to do anything especially European tours. I set the expectations. I tell him what the plans are. If he doesn't like he can stay at grandma's and find out what boring is really like. He always end up having a great time and making friends and most of the time enjoys the ports. My older one is happy to do whatever. I can't say either one really get's how lucky they are, but hopefully when they're out trying to make a living they'll look back and appreciate it all.

 

[cmph]

Oh gosh, I feel your pain! I swear that's how my kids have been every.single.time. First trip to WDW? -Meh. We're going to Legoland, TOMORROW! -oh, is that so? Merry Christmas, we're leaving in five days for your first Disney cruise, that you've been begging us to go on forever! -Ok, that's nice, but this DVD about Disney cruises is really boring and can I go play minecraft now? It's like, in the "kid's job description" in this house to be downers about fun surprise trips. You're not alone!!

editing to add: but they always always always LOVE the trips once they're on them, and ultimately are super happy to be there. I think they just aren't capable of the joyous reactions I wish they'd have!

 

[Anna Chassereau]

Oh gosh, I feel your pain! I swear that's how my kids have been every.single.time. First trip to WDW? -Meh. We're going to Legoland, TOMORROW! -oh, is that so? Merry Christmas, we're leaving in five days for your first Disney cruise, that you've been begging us to go on forever! -Ok, that's nice, but this DVD about Disney cruises is really boring and can I go play minecraft now? It's like, in the "kid's job description" in this house to be downers about fun surprise trips. You're not alone!!

editing to add: but they always always always LOVE the trips once they're on them, and ultimately are super happy to be there. I think they just aren't capable of the joyous reactions I wish they'd have!

Ugh this makes me feel better!! Like what in the world?! You'd think they'd be jumping up and down with excitement!! Haha Sorry this has happened to you too but I'm glad I'm not alone! And also glad to hear they had an awesome time on their trips!!

 

[MSPeeler]

Ugh sorry for this post but I am just so disappointed. So we are booked, paid in full for our cruise on the Fantasy in August. We'd planned to surprise our son with this trip...his 6th birthday will be while we're on the ship. We spent his 5th birthday on the Dream this past summer and we all had the time of our lives so my husband and I thought why not do it again.

Well my husband slipped up a little tonight at dinner...we were planning on waiting until way closer to to tell him. Well my husband accidentally slipped up and said a little too much and my son caught on...he begged and begged us to tell him so we gave in and told him what we were doing this year for his birthday. His reaction? "I wanted to go to New York or do something else. We did that last year...we've already done that." And he seemed less than excited. Like zero excitement.

I knows he's just a kid and doesn't understand but it just sucked to hear that. Maybe we made a mistake by doing this again right after going last summer? I'm just shocked at his reaction. I expected him to be so happy we were doing this again after the great time we had this past summer. And then I got annoyed thinking about how much I wish I could have done something like this when I was little...we never had the money for any trip like this when I was growing up. If this cruise wasn't paid in full I swear I'd think twice about going.

Sorry for the negative, Debbie downer post...I just needed to vent. Someone please tell me I didn't just completely waste $8,000 on a trip my son isn't going to even be excited about! Ugh!

I feel EXACTLY like you! I get it. I'm shocked myself. I'm curious why he would rather goto New York?! (Nothing against NY, I've never been there, but it doesn't seem 6yr old friendly, etc).

I think once you GET THERE, and it's a longer cruise, different location, involve him in excursion choices and the different aspects of the ships, Dream vs Fantasy,etc. maybe he will get more excited??

 

[FigmentSpark]

Your son just needs time to process the surprise. He'll come around.

My older son was all "Disney again? Why can't we do something fun, like go to Fiji or London?" He was 9. And again at 10. And 11 and 12, etc. But when he was at WDW, he had a great time. Some days, he wouldn't admit it, but he liked it and liked that we were doing a family thing. It turns out, what he hated was the 2 day drive to get there and back. That's why he always wanted to go somewhere far away... so we'd fly.

Give him some time. You can promise him New York for his 7th birthday.

 

[HappilyEverAfter80]

My DS one year older than your son, said to us the other day (when I started to talk to DH about booking another vacation) NO DISNEY CRUISE!!! I was stunned. We went on 4 Disney cruises in the last 2.5 years. Too much? Maybe. He is begging to go to Disney World though. I felt a little bit like... does he not appreciate or realize how lucky he is to have gone on various vacations at least 2x a year since he was 6 months old? Am I raising a little ungrateful self-entitled human being?
Last month DH and I went on an island vacation by ourselves and DS said he would rather stay at grandmas for a week... where he can do what he wants
The thing is that he is actually a really kind and appreciative kid, he just has enough of the Disney cruise for now. He did love it though and if we took him he'd love it again, but if not I'm not going to obsess about it, as the cruise is as much for me as for him (if not more lol)
I know its disappointing when you don't get that jump up and down reaction.
I would just let it go and remember he is only 6. He has no filter. Said what was in his head at the moment.
He will come around I'm sure.

 

[jdb in AZ]

Our teen wasn't excited about joining the family on excursions in Hawaii so we went flight seeing in a helicopter without him. He decided that maybe it was o.k. to have fun with the family after all.

 

[Dug720]

I didn't realize you could get a refund after you PIF....I'm really hoping he'll get more excited about it but if he isn't doing so in the next month I just might do that...

Before he went to bed he did ask me about the Aquaduck and mini golf and if they were on this ship so there's ️hope lol

If you are paid in full BUT you paid early and you have not passed the paid in full date for the cruise you can. If you are past the paid in full date for the cruise you cannot.

 

[WeLoveDisneyAlways]

Oh I know this feeling all too well. We first started going to WDW when DD was 2 and have gone every year since now 11, so every time I tell her I expect but all I get is "ya ok" so I asked her why she wasn't excited and her response "well we go every year why would this year be different". Yup I created a Disney monster. So even though she ecstatic to go she just doesn't show the same excitement as her mother lol. Tonight mickeys calling to tell her about our upcoming Miami cruise and I'm expecting no reaction so we'll see. Your son will love the cruise just needs to get there. Have you ever done a fish extender (gift exchange with fellow passengers) he might enjoy that for his birthday and get him excited planning the gifts

 

[NoodlesMom]

This is why DH and I are going on the 10 night Southern Caribbean by ourselves this summer. We sailed with the kids (12,16) in December. We had an amazing time. I just knew they would be ecstatic at the opportunity to go on a 10 night cruise. Well I was wrong. Maybe it's because we just cruised, but they were not excited at all. They also thought that 10 days was just too long. After being deflated by their lack of interest, DH and I decided to save some money and go alone. They'll be at Grandmas for 10 whole days and their ok with that. Oh well.

I know that we've spoiled them with Disney trips. We've made memories that will last a life time.

 

[Geomom]

One year, we had annual passes (with water parks included) to Disney World at a really good price, so we added extra trips in to make use of the water parks. We surprised the kids with a trip on the day we were leaving in August. My younger child (9 at the time) was NOT happy--turns out she doesn't like surprises, doesn't like to fly, and just wanted to 'relax'. Poor kid...we had another surprise trip planned for that October, but we did tell the kids a week early (on our wedding anniversary)and we got the 'Disney again?' response for her. Note that she was very happy AT Disney, so it was just her needing to know in advance.

Your son will come around and get excited about the trip. Show him some of the unique things for this cruise, some of the ports you're visiting, etc. Get him involved in the planning and see if there is a port excursion he might like. This is a longer cruise for you, so there will be more things to see/do.

 

[dragynally]

At 6 he may also be repeating the birthday surprises his friends talk about. I think his reaction is normal for someone that age who's "done that already". He doesn't realize that it's a bigger trip with more fun to be had. He is just hearing same ship different day.

 

[Lisa F]

Kids are really spoiled nowadays. I don't mean yours in particular, I mean all of them (including my own)

I would be more concerned actually that he now has the expectation that he is going to get a big trip for every birthday. He's only 6 so there is still time to nip that expectation in the bud. I'm guessing with 5 months to go it would cost you big $$ to move the trip to another week but honestly if there is another summer week you could go, I would move it off of his birthday and spend a quiet birthday at home... maybe have a party for a few friends and some family or something like that, but maybe attaching your family vacation to his birthday is giving too much significance. If not this year then definitely going forward.

My son is on the spectrum (aspergers even though that is no longer a diagnosis) and has ADHD and anxiety so he has been in therapy for a lot of his young life. There are times when I go to his therapist too, to discuss parenting issues and sometimes it's "parenting a kid like this" and sometimes it's "parenting in general." One of the most helpful things she told me is that a lot of parents give their kids too much choice. They do this out of love, but in reality what giving kids so much choice does is that it gives them a lot of power and a lot of responsibility that they are not really developmentally ready to carry. Right now, your son has all of the power about your family vacation because you are making it about his birthday and not about family vacation. I would take that pressure off of him... if not for this trip, then for next year. And I would talk to him about it too (most kids are pretty smart) and say "daddy and I have decided that we are going to have a family vacation that is about us as a family and have your birthday celebration separately." And I would not give him veto power over your vacation. I would maybe at some point sit down and make a list of places that your family wants to go together and then you and dad sit down and figure out where next year's family vacation is going to be. Then once that is decided give him some choices within that vacation... "we are going to new york next year. Do you want to see the lion king or do you want to see Aladdin?" I think this advice was given to me when he was ABOUT your son's age, maybe a little younger and it has made the biggest impact in the way I deal with him to be honest. Acting "bratty" or "entitled" is just a sign of discomfort with having the pressure of having to make big choices that they shouldn't be making - either directly or indirectly. Of course kids should have some choice in things but the big choices should be made by you and your husband (which you did in this case, but he is just acting like he is an equal partner in the decision). It's just a lot of pressure for a little dude (one that many kids act like they want, but what they want and what they need are often two different things... the other big piece of useful parenting advice I have gotten) to have his birthday tied to a big event like that. It's nice once in a while (as you saw by having such a magical trip last year) but I would separate them out going forward.

That said, whenever you go, he is going to have a great time. I have read tons of reports by parents about how their kids don't get excited about trips. For a lot of kids, travel can cause anxiety (as someone pointed out above it was about getting there not being there that made her kids not be excited about going). I don't know where you live but maybe NY is driveable while florida requires flying? My little guy gets anxious about flying. even if it's nothing "new" or "different" he'll still have a lot of fun and so will you and your husband. Raising kids is hard and then they break your heart They are little narcissists in adorable clothing, lol. I think this is a biological necessity for the young of any species, the only way you can survive is putting yourself first. As thinking, feeling human beings we try to teach our kids otherwise but they will grow out of it. Enjoy your trip, I'm sure it will be awesome.