Entitlement Generation inspired by another thread

[dumboiu]

I was just wondering what strikes you as a parent raising a child who is a card carrying member of the *entitlement generation* and what is simply normal childhood behaviour?

Example: I was in the grocery store the other day and a child was blocking the aisle as I was trying to wheel my cart by. I was patient and waited (being a parent myself), but when the child never moved even though the mother was (sweetly) calling the child's name for a very long time, I looked at the mother in disbelief. She never came to get the child!.......but instead looked at me as to say "this is my special snowflake.......she is the most important thing in the universe and it doesn't matter that you are waiting to get by......you will simply have to wait until my special snowflake decides to move". I was appalled.

Kids will be kids, but I do worry about how some parents are raising their children. These children will be in for a rude awakening when they are adults and they realize that they are no more special than the next person! How did we (as a society) get to this point? - i.e. raising the *me* generation? What has happened to common courtesy?

Thoughts?

 

[ericamanda01]

I think the problem is that too many parents want to be their kids friend, not their parent.

 

[FireDancer]

I think the problem is that too many parents want to be their kids friend, not their parent.

I had one of these parents and think it is a shame. While I was a kid it was great but looking back I now know that he just took the easy way out and I have absolutely no respect for him.

 

[LuvCuteBoys]

The entitlement problem is not unique to people under the age of 30.

 

[EthansMom]

I think the problem is that too many parents want to be their kids friend, not their parent.

We have some friendly acquaintances who are nice people. However, they are too concerned with being nice to their kids and, hence, their kids are SPOILED ROTTEN. We've been acquainted with the family for about 5 years so we've actually seen the progression as the parents' refusal to say "No" and constant caving to their young children has made the children pretty unbearable to be around. A real pity.

 

[luvmy3]

Did you run that child down with your cart? I bet that would have gotten the mother to do something? Of course then you'd be the subject on another DIS thread and people will be coming for you with torches and pitchforks


Anyway I agree with the pp who said that some parents want to be more of a friend than a parent.

 

[MIGrandma]

I had a similar experience standing in line (and I say "line" loosely because there were people standing in 3 aisles waiting their turn) at the pharmacy to pick up a prescription. Most everyone had carts, so when you have several people and their carts all in a small area there is congestion.

There was a young couple, with two small children maybe ages 3 and 4. They were waiting for a prescription themselves and were not even watching their children. At one point the man asked the woman where one of them was, the woman then started looking for her. She was down the aisle where I was standing. The woman said "oh, she's right there" and then turned back to continue waiting. Didn't even tell the child to get back to her, just let her go.

Well, one elderly woman needed something and the clerk came over to help her find it so we all had to move to let them by. I almost stepped on the child. She had decided to get on her hands and knees and go through people that way! She got in the way of several people and the parents were completely oblivious.

When my kids were little, they were either in the cart, or standing with me holding my hand. They didn't wander like so many let their kids do today.

I really don't understand young parents these days, I really don't.

 

[okeydokey]

I think it's that people expect everyone to love their children like they themselves do. Kids can be annoying. When my kids are annoying to me I imagine that they are even more annoying to others who do not know and love them. I also believe that many parents are afraid to parent their children because they don't want their kids to feel sad, upset, or hurt by anything. I don't believe kids are as resilient as they were in the past because parents want to shelter them from every unpleasant experience. We also give kids too many rights these days, like the right to block a grocery aisle and to not listen to anything they don't want to hear.

 

[Gabes_mommy]

I don't agree with a lot of the popular parenting approaches these days.

But I figure, all of those people who judge others for actually punishing their kids and having expectations of them? Yeah, they'll get theirs someday. Have fun with your out of control middleschoolers.

 

[Disney Doll]

I would have said "Excuse me honey but can you please move so I can get past you?".

Why are there so many "special snowflakes"?
~Parents who want to be friends rather than parents
~Many broken homes and some of those parents "give in" to many of their children's desires as a way to make up for the broken home
~Somewhere along the way we decided that children couldn't handle any disappointment, so everybody gets a trophy, everybody makes the team
~Parents who use a child's age as an excuse not to teach the child proper behavior. My crazy SIL always used the "He's only 2" (or 3 or 4 or whatever the age of the child at the time). My response whenever she used that line was "I know he's only 2 so I don't expect him to behave perfectly but when he misbehaves I expect you, as his parent, to correct him. That's your job."
~Lazy parenting. It's much easier to give in than to argue or have to forego some of the things you want to do because your child is misbehaving or whatever.

I don't have kids, but those are my observations from years of watching people raise kids. It seems like the parents who behaved like a prent rather than a friend, allowed their children to be disappointed and taught them the tools to deal with disappointment, had standards of behavior their children were expected to follow, and followed through with discipline when necessary have kids who have turned out great.

 

[FireDancer]

I also believe that many parents are afraid to parent their children because they don't want their kids to feel sad, upset, or hurt by anything. I don't believe kids are as resilient as they were in the past because parents want to shelter them from every unpleasant experience.

The problem with this is that once the child gets out into life they need to handle situations in which they are sad, upset, and hurt. This over nannying of kids (and society in general really) is not preparing they for real life. Luckily most of the people in my circle are not like this. They aren't in the "everyone gets a trophy" camp that way too many people are in. Everyone doesn't get a trophy, the winners get a trophy and the losers get a lesson in how to lose gracefully.

I'm not too far out of the entitlement generation, I'm 31, but I had to work for what I had. Want to go to college, work and pay for it. Want a cell phone, go buy one and pay the bill. If more people had to work for what they have instead of have it given to them the world would be a better place IMHO.

 

[SaraJayne]

I had a similar experience standing in line (and I say "line" loosely because there were people standing in 3 aisles waiting their turn) at the pharmacy to pick up a prescription. Most everyone had carts, so when you have several people and their carts all in a small area there is congestion.

There was a young couple, with two small children maybe ages 3 and 4. They were waiting for a prescription themselves and were not even watching their children. At one point the man asked the woman where one of them was, the woman then started looking for her. She was down the aisle where I was standing. The woman said "oh, she's right there" and then turned back to continue waiting. Didn't even tell the child to get back to her, just let her go.

Well, one elderly woman needed something and the clerk came over to help her find it so we all had to move to let them by. I almost stepped on the child. She had decided to get on her hands and knees and go through people that way! She got in the way of several people and the parents were completely oblivious.

When my kids were little, they were either in the cart, or standing with me holding my hand. They didn't wander like so many let their kids do today.

I really don't understand young parents these days, I really don't.

I know you didn't mean it that way, but some "young" parents still do a good job of parenting.

I have no problems parenting my children and saying "no" to them. I also don't let them wander around stores. At 8 and 12, it's been drilled into them they stay by me.

 

[dumboiu]

I would have said "Excuse me honey but can you please move so I can get past you?".

Sadly, I did just that. The kid didn't move (I asked twice) and the mother did NOTHING. I feel sorry for the child as she is the one who will be going to the school of hard knocks when she realized that she is really no more special than the next person! What I think about the mother........well that is an entirely different story!

 

[rie'smom]

I think the problem is that too many parents want to be their kids friend, not their parent.

I agree and have noticed a big tend in this parenting style. Our oldest is 34. When he was in school, parents were stricter and manners were better.
Our second is 25 and parents were a little more lenient but manners were still good.
Our daughter is 15 and WOW what a change. Parents act more as friends and less as parents. This may be wrong of me but I find myself correcting her friends' manners when they're at our house. They laugh and tease me but they do follow, at least at our house, what I teach them.
My daughter has had texts from her friend's moms and they chat like they are on an equal footing. I'm friendly to my daughter's friends but there is a line. That said, her friends are at our house every single weekend.

 

[FinallyBoughtDVC]

I think many people have no idea how much work it is to raise a child. They just plod along, have the kid and then don't want to deal. They're all about the baby shower, the clothes and don't realize they're responsible for raising a human being. And, it's a lot of work.

I own a retail gift store - You wouldn't believe half of the nonsense we put up with there.

It really is lazy parenting. Kids don't need to be smacked around, but they do need absolute limits placed on them - no nonsense repercussions that cut to the core and teach proper behaviors.

I have no problem telling a parent to take their child's hand or telling a child directly to stop touching things - especially breakable items. I have all the patience in the world, but some parents are just clueless.

As for those who let their kids "loose" in stores and have no clue where they are - it drives me nuts. I often leave the door to my store open when it's nice outside. It wouldn't take 5 seconds for a kid to walk out the door and get scooped up by someone or walk into the street and get hit by a car. Never mind the inconvenience to those these children annoy around them, never mind the potential cost to stores when the child breaks something...but, these parents don't even care about whether or not their children are safe - and that just completely boggles my mind.

What's really sad though, is their parents are equally as rude. Usually when I have a bratty kid in the store, the parent is just awful and rude.

 

[krcit]

I have 3 kids and I am far from a perfect parent but the things I see some other parents let their kids get away with blows my mind. The complete lack of respect some kids have for their parents is appalling but I blame the parents for ever allowing their children to speak to them like that. I was shopping with my oldest dd the other day and this girl, probably around 17, was so rude to her mom. I mean just horrible "Mom, I don't care what you say, get me the f'in(she didn't say f'n) shoes NOW" and this idiot mom is falling over herself trying to please this kid. DD(14) was blown away. The other thing is the entitlement issue but that doesn't seem limited to just kids. I live across from a schhol and every day people park where they aren't suppossed to b/c they are 'special' and the rules don't apply. What does that teach your kids??

 

[MIGrandma]

I know you didn't mean it that way, but some "young" parents still do a good job of parenting.

I have no problems parenting my children and saying "no" to them. I also don't let them wander around stores. At 8 and 12, it's been drilled into them they stay by me.

You're right, I should not have made such a generalized statement.

I should have said "I don't understand "some" young parents these days."

Not all young parents are bad parents, I do know that.

But when I see misbehaving children, it is usually the child of a younger mother/parents.

 

[VillageMama]

I think there are people of all ages with an entitlement complex. I'd be hard pressed to assign them to a particular generation.

Which is more common of their generation... a special snowflake child who won't move out of the way when someone asks? The crochety elderly person who expresses irritation at normal child behavior? The parent who won't be bothered to discipline a child's normal, but annoying behavior?

I'd say being a member of the Entitlement Generation is an honorary position. It's open to anyone unwilling to acknowledge that sometimes, other people come first and you just have to suck it up graciously.

 

[mumom95]

The entitlement problem is not unique to people under the age of 30.

I agree with this statement. I have to say I see much more of an entitlement attitute coming from the 50+ crowd than I do from the under 30 crowd. The people of this country aren't in the financial mess they are in because the 10 year olds of the world lived beyond their means.

There are bratty kids today, I'm sure there were bratty kids in the past. There are bad parents today, I'm sure there were bad parents of the past. But to label a generation of people, especially a generation of people who aren't even old enough to really have control over their lives, doesn't seem right.

I would think a better discussion would be talking about the "Bad parenting generation" that the 30-50 year olds fall into.

 

[dumboiu]

I would think a better discussion would be talking about the "Bad parenting generation" that the 30-50 year olds fall into.

NO one wants any responsibility these days.....