Enriching our vacation through spreading Pixie Dust...ideas?

[Magpie]

Magpie, I think that for many people, the definition of a selfless act of charity would include the giver not telling anyone else what they've done. In my mind, charity becomes a pat on the back when the giver tells others because everyone then feels obligated to respond with an "atta boy!" for their actions.

I think the best option is to do good things anonymously, then shut up about it. The recipient will feel good without having to feel indebted, you'll feel good, and that's all that matters.

Ah... so if someone would rather not be accused of fishing for kudos, then the BEST way to mine for ideas on how to spread pixie dust would be to say, "Gee, the nicest thing happened to me the other day! There we were, trudging along, feeling hot and tired, and another guest handed my child a Mickey stuffy. How thoughtful! Now I'm thinking of passing the magic onto other families. Ideas?" Even if this story a total fabrication, at least they won't be accused of fishing for compliments, and they'll get some useful ideas.

Mind you, even then, if anyone actually responds, "Well, this is what we do..." they also open themselves up to criticism. So they'd best invent their own stories.

The unwritten rules of social convention are SO complicated! I'm glad I never feel any obligation to hand out "atta boy"s just because someone has admitted to doing something awesome.

 

[judeis]

Well, to respond to a couple of issues:
After re-reading my original post, I realize that I may have misrepresented how much time and effort we spend into doing this! It is actually a smaller part of our special days at Disney. Of course, just spending time together and the wonderfulness of Disney is more than enough. But this family tradition just adds a little bit of fun.

And we don't do this as "charity". We actively participate in quite a few legitamite charitable organizations throughout the year (including GKTW) and in different parts of our lives.This is just something small that we have added to our few Disney trips. My daughters like to call them "Magic surprises". ..ever since we just gave out a couple of stickers at the parade.

I also assure you that we don't spend hours searching for some stereo typical "perfect kid" solely to boost our first world egos or to only bring ourselves out of a disappointment. It's just a nice little pick me up, (especially if something cruddy had happened). Or just in general throughout the day, like making friends in line for the morning bus and passing out a few stickers and Silly Bandz.

I get the feeling from everyone's response that they might see our family as determined saccharine sweet do-gooders, marching through Disney with a huge goodwill bag of used clothing and dirty stuffed animals. I'm sorry I didn't write more carefully because I can see how that impression might have been made.

They're actually very small little trinkets (with the exception of one T-shirt one time with tags attached that was too small for my daughter when we returned home last trip and Harry Potter wand that is new in box and my oldest daughter never did use or appreciate that she would like to give to someone else at Universal ) Never anything dirty or even used really. (and I shouldn't have listed plushes. That was actually just a mistake of quick typing. I wouldn't accept something so easily dirtied for my own children as well. Gross!).

But I CAN understand how what I wrote was misinterpreted that way, and I apologize...

Also, I am very strict about child safety, boundaries and we would NEVER offer anything directly to a child. We offer it to their parents in a casual way, if it seems appropriate and if it doesn't appear we are intruding. I teach my own children never to accept ANYTHING from strangers as well, and I wouldn't want to endorse that behavior through our own actions.

We basically just say to a parent, if there is an opportunity and/or we are standing next to people in line or have struck up a conversation, 'we have this little trinket and are trying to spread some happiness, would your child like it? " And occasionally parents do say no, which I totally respect and understand.

And yes, we openly aknowledge that altruism makes us feel good. It's actually a very healthy thought... But I also see everyone's concerns about interfering with someone's family, vacation, or lives. We definitely take that into consideration and are very careful with intrusion, boundaries, and safety.

Lastly, I assure you I am not a troll. I am just a regular DIS'er who is missing a little more positivity on the board. I actually don't post that often and had no idea this subject would flame.! Sorry! Hope everyone has a good vacation! (Whenever it may be)...

 

[GPC0321]

Why should people "shut up" about something nice they're trying to do for others? And why is it a crime to openly admit the fact that helping people is as rewarding for the giver as the recipient?

It makes me sad to think we live in a culture where people are afraid to be generous to a stranger because the recipient might get offended or baffled and the giver might be labeled as selfish or creepy.

Maybe Toy Story 3 should've ended with Molly and her mom recoiling in disgust at Andy's generosity and telling him to keep his cast-offs, they can afford to buy their own toys, thankyouverymuch!!

 

[Hrhpd]

Why should people "shut up" about something nice they're trying to do for others? And why is it a crime to openly admit the fact that helping people is as rewarding for the giver as the recipient?

It makes me sad to think we live in a culture where people are afraid to be generous to a stranger because the recipient might get offended or baffled and the giver might be labeled as selfish or creepy.

Maybe Toy Story 3 should've ended with Molly and her mom recoiling in disgust at Andy's generosity and telling him to keep his cast-offs, they can afford to buy their own toys, thankyouverymuch!!

Again, I think it is what each perceives as their definition of nice. My definition of nice is caring and kind gestures, nice words and common courtesy. There is also a time and place for generous acts. Thinking you have to give a child something extra when they are on one of the most expensive vacations you can muster in the US is not being nice, it is narcissistic.

If I am in need and a stranger comes to my aid, I will be forever grateful for the stranger's generosity. When I am on a very expensive vacation and some stranger wants to insert themselves into my vacation to give my privileged child (all children that can afford a vacation to Disney are somewhat privileged) a trinket, that is not being generous. That is creepy.

And I am baffled that anybody would think that some stranger has every right to intrude on your vacation and you are the one who is in the wrong if you do not welcome the stranger with open arms.

Sorry, but I am not playing into some stranger's Pixie Dust Fairy fantasy. Would these people also pack extra beach toys to give away to "deserving" children if they go vacation on the Riviera?

 

[Hrhpd]

Well, to respond to a couple of issues:
After re-reading my original post, I realize that I may have misrepresented how much time and effort we spend into doing this! It is actually a smaller part of our special days at Disney. Of course, just spending time together and the wonderfulness of Disney is more than enough. But this family tradition just adds a little bit of fun.

And we don't do this as "charity". We actively participate in quite a few legitamite charitable organizations throughout the year (including GKTW) and in different parts of our lives.This is just something small that we have added to our few Disney trips. My daughters like to call them "Magic surprises". ..ever since we just gave out a couple of stickers at the parade.

I also assure you that we don't spend hours searching for some stereo typical "perfect kid" solely to boost our first world egos or to only bring ourselves out of a disappointment. It's just a nice little pick me up, (especially if something cruddy had happened). Or just in general throughout the day, like making friends in line for the morning bus and passing out a few stickers and Silly Bandz.

I get the feeling from everyone's response that they might see our family as determined saccharine sweet do-gooders, marching through Disney with a huge goodwill bag of used clothing and dirty stuffed animals. I'm sorry I didn't write more carefully because I can see how that impression might have been made.

They're actually very small little trinkets (with the exception of one T-shirt one time with tags attached that was too small for my daughter when we returned home last trip and Harry Potter wand that is new in box and my oldest daughter never did use or appreciate that she would like to give to someone else at Universal ) Never anything dirty or even used really. (and I shouldn't have listed plushes. That was actually just a mistake of quick typing. I wouldn't accept something so easily dirtied for my own children as well. Gross!).

But I CAN understand how what I wrote was misinterpreted that way, and I apologize...

Also, I am very strict about child safety, boundaries and we would NEVER offer anything directly to a child. We offer it to their parents in a casual way, if it seems appropriate and if it doesn't appear we are intruding. I teach my own children never to accept ANYTHING from strangers as well, and I wouldn't want to endorse that behavior through our own actions.

We basically just say to a parent, if there is an opportunity and/or we are standing next to people in line or have struck up a conversation, 'we have this little trinket and are trying to spread some happiness, would your child like it? " And occasionally parents do say no, which I totally respect and understand.

And yes, we openly aknowledge that altruism makes us feel good. It's actually a very healthy thought... But I also see everyone's concerns about interfering with someone's family, vacation, or lives. We definitely take that into consideration and are very careful with intrusion, boundaries, and safety.

Lastly, I assure you I am not a troll. I am just a regular DIS'er who is missing a little more positivity on the board. I actually don't post that often and had no idea this subject would flame.! Sorry! Hope everyone has a good vacation! (Whenever it may be)...

I posted this earlier but will ask again.

What do you see Disney doing wrong in that a very expensive vacation is not magical enough? Why do you think that stranger's children need your help in making their vacation more magical?

 

[GPC0321]

Again, I think it is what each perceives as their definition of nice. My definition of nice is caring and kind gestures, nice words and common courtesy. There is also a time and place for generous acts. Thinking you have to give a child something extra when they are on one of the most expensive vacations you can muster in the US is not being nice, it is narcissistic.

If I am in need and a stranger comes to my aid, I will be forever grateful for the stranger's generosity. When I am on a very expensive vacation and some stranger wants to insert themselves into my vacation to give my privileged child (all children that can afford a vacation to Disney are somewhat privileged) a trinket, that is not being generous. That is creepy.

We'll have to agree to disagree about the definitions of generosity and creepy.

 

[Hrhpd]

We'll have to agree to disagree about the definitions of generosity and creepy.

Yup. And if you look at the poll on the Community Board about this, Creepy has the majority.

 

[Missy1961]

Again, I think it is what each perceives as their definition of nice. My definition of nice is caring and kind gestures, nice words and common courtesy. There is also a time and place for generous acts. Thinking you have to give a child something extra when they are on one of the most expensive vacations you can muster in the US is not being nice, it is narcissistic.

If I am in need and a stranger comes to my aid, I will be forever grateful for the stranger's generosity. When I am on a very expensive vacation and some stranger wants to insert themselves into my vacation to give my privileged child (all children that can afford a vacation to Disney are somewhat privileged) a trinket, that is not being generous. That is creepy.

And I am baffled that anybody would think that some stranger has every right to intrude on your vacation and you are the one who is in the wrong if you do not welcome the stranger with open arms.

Sorry, but I am not playing into some stranger's Pixie Dust Fairy fantasy. Would these people also pack extra beach toys to give away to "deserving" children if they go vacation on the Riviera?

I'm with you.

 

[GPC0321]

Yup. And if you look at the poll on the Community Board about this, Creepy has the majority.

Well I disagree with the poll too. The fact that there even IS a poll about this speaks volumes.

 

[judeis]

Thank you everyone for your opinions. I will take into consideration that so many people find it offensive and/or intrusive and/or creepy- that was never my intention, nor my experience.

BTW, the whole reason we upgraded from glow sticks, silly bands, and stickers… (idea's I read about here on the Disboards)...was because of a similar action directed towards my youngest daughter during our first trip. She had fallen and scraped her knee very badly and another little girl -who was a little younger than her-watched her get it patched up while we waited for the day time parade at Magic Kingdom. Basically what happened was (through the moms) the little girl gave my daughter a Belle light up toy for the fireworks that night. It was done very appropriately, I didn't feel anyone was intruding in our vacation, and they were very safe and appropriate with us. It made all the little girls very happy- they all chatted together throughout the entire parade. I had just thought it would be a nice tradition to continue.

But I will definitely take into account the feedback I have received by posting about it. My family would much rather give up this tradition than freak anyone out or negatively impact their own special time with their families.

 

[pfalcioni]

We have even taken to "special" acts of kindness (like collecting out grown but "new" looking Disney hoodie's and T-shirts, a light up toy no longer used, a Disney plush no longer cherished, etc and searching for the "perfect" kid to give it to). We save these "special" gestures for when we are tired or cranky or have encountered a "not-so-magical" moment (like line cutters, screaming parents, not getting "picked" for a show, or the rare unfriendly cast-member).

I appreciate that you came back and "clarified" your original post, but I find it really hard to read this any other way than the way it was written. Can you help me figure out why you mentioned hoodies, tee shirts and Disney plush when you don't actually mean any of those things? I'm baffled.

Your follow-up post is much more logical, and follows many other similar posts that have been written over the years about simple interactions that brighten other guests' days, but it doesn't change the fact that what you initially posted was unusual and not well received.

 

[Angel Ariel]

Thank you everyone for your opinions. I will take into consideration that so many people find it offensive and/or intrusive and/or creepy- that was never my intention, nor my experience.

BTW, the whole reason we upgraded from glow sticks, silly bands, and stickers… (idea's I read about here on the Disboards)...was because of a similar action directed towards my youngest daughter during our first trip. She had fallen and scraped her knee very badly and another little girl -who was a little younger than her-watched her get it patched up while we waited for the day time parade at Magic Kingdom. Basically what happened was (through the moms) the little girl gave my daughter a Belle light up toy for the fireworks that night. It was done very appropriately, I didn't feel anyone was intruding in our vacation, and they were very safe and appropriate with us. It made all the little girls very happy- they all chatted together throughout the entire parade. I had just thought it would be a nice tradition to continue.

But I will definitely take into account the feedback I have received by posting about it. My family would much rather give up this tradition than freak anyone out or negatively impact their own special time with their families.

There's a big difference between a light up toy that the little girl likely had gotten at wdw and decided to give away to make your daughter feel better when she was hurt and bringing used items from home to give away as a pick me up for yourselves when something goes awry in your day.

The idea of teaching your children to out aside money to give to charity us a good one. Personally, though, I'd suggest to my child something like donating to give kids the world to help a terminally ill child go to Disney over buying something from the emporium specifically to give it away. I wouldn't discourage them from spontaneously deciding to give something away, as the little girl did with your daughter, but that's different than actively planning for it.

 

[brookmey]

Thank you for coming back, OP, and clarifying things. I also appreciate that you didn't get defensive when explaining yourself. You handled everyone's responses in a way that I wish more people would do. Too often we see someone posting something that asks for opinions and then get defensive and snippy with responses that don't agree with them because they feel they're being personally attacked. You didn't do that and it's appreciated.

 

[cheryl.UK]

On our wedding day we went to V&As. At the end of the meal they gave all the ladies a rose. As I already had a bouquet, I had plenty flowers so as I walked down the stairs of the hotel, I gave it to a little girl who was staring at my dress. I'm hoping now that I did the right thing! Co-incidently, my daughter gave hers away on the monorail on the way back to BLT.

 

[tjmw2727]

posted twice - sorry

 

[tjmw2727]

This - from the OP - is exactly what I (and several others) have been trying to say all along. OP IMHO there is a HUGE difference between a kind gesture kid to kid as you describe below and hauling hand me downs to Disney to enrich "your" vacation.

The OP's follow up is exactly what I have been trying to say- and a great example of a "RANDOM" act of kindness - "an impulse act"! You just can't plan this - it is wonderful - and it just happens when we are open to giving and receiving kindness, generosity and common courtesy.

Thank you everyone for your opinions. I will take into consideration that so many people find it offensive and/or intrusive and/or creepy- that was never my intention, nor my experience.

BTW, the whole reason we upgraded from glow sticks, silly bands, and stickers… (idea's I read about here on the Disboards)...was because of a similar action directed towards my youngest daughter during our first trip. She had fallen and scraped her knee very badly and another little girl -who was a little younger than her-watched her get it patched up while we waited for the day time parade at Magic Kingdom. Basically what happened was (through the moms) the little girl gave my daughter a Belle light up toy for the fireworks that night. It was done very appropriately, I didn't feel anyone was intruding in our vacation, and they were very safe and appropriate with us. It made all the little girls very happy- they all chatted together throughout the entire parade. I had just thought it would be a nice tradition to continue.

But I will definitely take into account the feedback I have received by posting about it. My family would much rather give up this tradition than freak anyone out or negatively impact their own special time with their families.

 

[rpb718]

The original post was poorly written to convey what you really meant to say in the follow ups. I have no problem with what you do, although any clothes should really go to Goodwill or be donated for a child who is probably less likely to go to WDW. I can also understand that there are items that would be of little use to Goodwill and charities that are perfectly fine to bring back to WDW and give away - like pins, wands and/or pirate swords given out at certain events, etc. - much like the HP wand your child is planning to give away at Universal on your next trip.

 

[Hibiscus]

I appreciate that you came back and "clarified" your original post, but I find it really hard to read this any other way than the way it was written. Can you help me figure out why you mentioned hoodies, tee shirts and Disney plush when you don't actually mean any of those things? I'm baffled.

Your follow-up post is much more logical, and follows many other similar posts that have been written over the years about simple interactions that brighten other guests' days, but it doesn't change the fact that what you initially posted was unusual and not well received.

 

[LMN]

ETA -
We give as generously as we can to charities of our choice and volunteer our time for several organizations during the year - we just don't choose to do this during our vacation time. IMHO with the exception of GKTW and other similar organizations if your at Disney you don't need my generosity[/QUOTE]


I think someone needs a Mickey balloon.....

OP- I think the things you are doing are wonderful and more importantly are teaching your children to be kind and compassionate human beings...something our world desperately needs more of....

 

[Jennasis]

Planning out random acts of kindness ("searching for the perfect child") seems weird. Just let nature take its course and if some moment crops up that you can be a good samaritan etc then have at it. But no to the clothes and toys.

For example, I came off of Forbidden Journey at WWOHP and I was so sick I thought I would die! I staggered off that ride and got dragged on Dragon Challenge by the family, and by the time I got off of it I was green from head to toe, in a cold sweat, shaking and ready to hurl. I collapsed onto a bench while DH ran to find a bottle of water. I was doubled over on te bench while my mom stroked my hair. A man on the bench next to me reached into his backpack and pulled out a new bottle of water and handed it to me. I nearly cried I was so grateful!

When DH and I are at WDW I hold doors for others, help parents fold/hold strollers on the bus, offer to take photos for others, wish happy birthday etc to those wearing pins, say Please/Thank You to CM's and guests, and occasionally bow/courtsy to little ones in princess dresses. For the most part, just using good manners is magical enough.