Enriching our vacation through spreading Pixie Dust...ideas?

[Planogirl]

There are lots of things that I have disagreed with over the years on these boards but never something that made me so sad about the human condition.

1)
Of course. What act charity isn't about the giver? So what?

2) When you're given a gift, say "thank you." Yes, yes; teach your children not to blindly accept gifts. But here's the deal--you're an adult. You can accept gifts, you can drive, you can drink alcohol, you can post on the internet without another adults permission.

3) If someone thinks you "look poor," so what? You can't control what other people think of you. You may be able to influence it by how you behave, dress, etc if that's your goal, but you may not.

4) "People at Disney don't need charity." Maybe true, maybe not. But it's clear that the OP goal is spreading kindness and good cheer. Clearly we are lacking in the kind of charity that supports our fellow humans if so many people can think of so many negative things to say about that.

I don't think that anyone here is saying to be mean and nasty if someone offers something. However it would clearly make many uncomfortable and they shouldn't feel guilted into accepting a gift of charity that they don't need. The OP clearly states that they do this when they feel cranky and it perks their group up. Nothing wrong with finding ways to be happy but giving people used items in a theme park just seem like an odd way to go about it.

As for charity being about the giver, many people give anonymously. Is that about them too? Maybe to some extent but I bet to them it's more about who or what they're giving to.

 

[labdogs42]

I like to spread some pixie dust, too. We will bring our stash of extra Sorcerer's cards and give those away some times. We trade, too, but when we see someone just getting started, we will give them some just to help boost their collection. I've done the glow stick thing, too, but since we are out of the stroller years now, I don't like to lug a bunch of extra stuff now! The sorcerer's cards are easy to carry and fun to give out!

 

[5kidsmommy]

My daughter was once the recipient of "pixie dust" in the form of a rather unique used toy (a porcelain doll) from a stranger. We accepted it politely even though I found the situation to be strange. 15ish months later, a post like this popped up on the DIS. I read through it and discovered that our pixie duster was on the DIS and had posted about her experience with spreading joy at Disney. As it turns out, according to what she posted, she targeted us because we looked poor to her and she thought we couldn't afford to buy any souvenirs.

You can see how that turned out here:
http://www.disboards.com/threads/pixie-dusting-adults.3277421/page-4#post-51443139

Just be polite to other guests. Don't take your used stuff to give away at Disney. There are other ways to teach your children compassion.

I read this with my mouth agape. And this is why people should assume things about other people.

My kids are ones who don't get many souvenirs at Disney, not because we can't afford them but because they never want them. And I was be horrified if someone gave me a gift, only to learn later they did it because they thought I looked poor, sorry I don't spend money on name brand clothes or the like, I am a bit frugal.

I agree with all the posters that say if you want to do something nice then do it spur of the moment. I actually think we teach our children more by our kind, unplanned actions then by planning out how exactly we will be kind and making it an object lesson. Just be a good person, you don't have to plan it out.

 

[ldymcbth]

This is why people are so hateful to one another these days. Everyone's offended; everyone's got a chip on their shoulder. Original poster, you do what you want to do. If parents don't want to accept your gifts, I hope they say no thank you and move on. You are doing a great thing by trying to raise kind, giving children - don't ever let them get on the internet or they'll realize the whole world sucks ;-)

No where did the OP state that this is the only act of charity they ever engage in.

 

[5kidsmommy]

This is why people are so hateful to one another these days. Everyone's offended; everyone's got a chip on their shoulder. Original poster, you do what you want to do. If parents don't want to accept your gifts, I hope they say no thank you and move on. You are doing a great thing by trying to raise kind, giving children - don't ever let them get on the internet or they'll realize the whole world sucks ;-)

No where did the OP state that this is the only act of charity they ever engage in.

Many of us wouldn't be offended we'd be weirded out. And quite frankly most people have explained why. I personally go on vacation and make my own fun and teach my children kindness by being kind to my fellow human beings. Our children learn more by what they see us doing rather than by planned talked about acts.

 

[kathy884]

I believe your heart is in the right place OP, but I agree with others who have said they don't want extra stuff for their kids. I have enough problems with well meaning relatives on these extended family visits/Disney trips. My frustration over and over has been here we are trying to teach our child to budget and giving them a reasonably generous vacation allowance (giving them the purchasing power and decision making instead of us), and then almost every relative in our family 21 or older buys something special for our kid / purchases whatever they are whimsically looking at. So much for that great plan. We didn't want to hurt our sweet relatives feeling, though, who we don't see very often, and put kindness and not hurting their feelings ahead of our goals of teaching budgeting to our child. We would be kind to you too and teach our child to be kind to you also if you gave us stuff we would just assume not have so as not to hurt your feelings and make your day brighter. We'd bring the stuff home, think of what a pain it is to have that extra stuff in our suitcases, put it in a storage bin at home so as not to over clutter our house and get rid of it sometime in the future. We just (now my son is 20) gave about 100 stuffed animals (mostly very high quality Disney ones) to our church rummage sale. I will say that with the $3 price tag on most of them, they all sold very quickly. I know we maybe have a dresser or two to display souvenirs on (go on at least two trips a year and typically display the newest stuff), and the rest of the stuff goes into storage bins in our attic till the right charity opportunity comes along or we call up the Salvation Army truck. We've been slowly, but surely have been getting our son to just go for a refrigerator magnet souvenir and are finally getting close to that after 20 year of working on it. The souvenirs and stuff just feel so excessive and wasteful and I hate clutter, but we don't want to hurt people's feelings and say Thank You for the high quality Disney crap we continually get that people have spent plenty of money on. We just go on way too many vacations and have way too many generous relatives. The last thing we really need is a generous stranger too.

Being kind, patient, a nice guest, someone who shows consideration and doesn't push in front of others, and someone who smiles and chats a little with strangers is plenty for us and our favorite kind of guest/stranger to run into. // If you feel a calling, though, and feel your efforts are appreciated, though, why not. // The best we have to go by sometimes as we aren't in other people's shoes is do unto others as you would have them to unto you. The kindness sure -- I'd like it. The stuff not so much.

 

[ADisneyQueen]

LOL! Before the new board software it said "Looking Like I Can't Really Afford to Go to Disney since 2012." I guess the text is cut off now so I should change it.

OMG I read through all your links about your porcelain doll story and I'm laughing so hard about your avatar signature. That was a crazy story.

 

[Hrhpd]

I am a child therapist and I usually try to stay away from too much "hippie-dippy therapisty" stuff with my kids, but I have noticed that our trips become more magical and positive when we go out of our way to be positive and spread some kindness...I engage my children (and DH) in coming up with original ideas about how to brighten someone's day in the parks and it has become a ritualized part of our trip(s). We have even taken to "special" acts of kindness (like collecting out grown but "new" looking Disney hoodie's and T-shirts, a light up toy no longer used, a Disney plush no longer cherished, etc and searching for the "perfect" kid to give it to). We save these "special" gestures for when we are tired or cranky or have encountered a "not-so-magical" moment (like line cutters, screaming parents, not getting "picked" for a show, or the rare unfriendly cast-member). It always perks every one up. And just in general throughout the day/night- it has become part of the fun to randomly pass out stickers, glow sticks, or silly bands. To give out random compliments (not in a creepy-stalker way, but in a "You have the coolest T-shirt" or "I heard you singing, you have a great voice" kind of way). We always buy at least one small surprise a day (light up toy, a balloon, etc) and give it away as well. My DD's always save up their spending money and allocate at least $10 for their "kindness fund". They get excited deciding what to buy and who to give it to.

Anyway, this may sound cheesy, but it is so easy to become negative, overwhelmed, overstimulated, self-involved, etc when at Disney (or anywhere I guess), that I like to encourage my kids to think of others and learn how good that makes them feel.

So... anyone else have other ideas to add to the pile? We would love to hear new ideas about how to spread kindness (and make ourselves happier in the bargain). Thanks!

Giving used things to children who are on an expensive vacation just to make yourself feel better when you have had a bad day is not kindness. It is self-indulgent and somewhat for narcissistic. The good thing is that you recognize that you are not teaching your children altruism, but are doing it solely for self satisfaction. I would gently suggest therapy to see why you have such a deep seated need to use other people for self-satisfaction in order to cope with minor irritations like a line cutter while you are on an expensive vacation.

Also, as a child therapist, I am surprised that you don't recognize the many different reasons why a parent might not want a total stranger to approach their child during an expensive vacation and hand them some used crap.

If you really want to teach your children how to be kind, loving children, have them save that money and that gently used stuff and donate it to a children's center where the children really need it. If you need a little bit of self-satisfaction to feed whatever need you have, go feed the homeless.

That said, the giving out of compliments is a wonderful thing to do. That really makes a person's day. That is kindness.

 

[GPC0321]

I must be the only person here who frequents second-hand shops and yard/garage sales. Used stuff doesn't bother me, and if someone handed me a cute, gently used Mickey Mouse hoodie or t-shirt in my size I'd happily take it with sincere thanks. If it was something I didn't care for or need/want, I'd politely decline, but I sure as heck wouldn't be "offended" by someone's generosity.

That said, I'm more inclined to dole out the random acts of kindness. I'm the kind of person who will chat with anyone who seems to want to (I never initiate, but if they want to chat I'll politely oblige). I smile and say "hello" and "thank you" and "excuse me". I hold doors for people, will give up my seat and stand, and will basically do anything I can not to hamper someone else's enjoyment of their day.
Beyond that, I'll probably be on the look-out for celebration buttons so I can wish the person happy whatever, and I like the idea of sharing glow sticks with kids standing nearby at MSEP. That's a cool idea.

 

[kathy884]

The top random act of kindness by a stranger to me was when I went on It's a Small World with my three year old. He told me he was scared and said please Mommy don't make me ride. We had already let him skip every other ride in the park, and all we had done was go to the castle and visit Minnie and Mickey's house. I said, no you can do this, it's not scary at all, and you know both verses to the song. This is one ride that even the Unofficial Guide said was not scary at all to toddlers. Anyway, those dancing dolls totally freaked him out and he screamed during the whole ride, ruining it for our boat and the boat in back of us and in front of us. That 12 minutes really felt more like an hour to me and this whole thing was definitely not my best parenting decision.

We'll when we got off a very nice man in his 50s came over to talk to us and talked directly to my son and said. "You know I always feel like screaming every time I go on that ride too, and would have, but it's just not socially acceptable at my age." It was just really thoughtful of him to come over and lighten up a tense moment. And that's why I remember it to this day.

 

[larryz]

Heck, I tried to give a pair of FP-'s for TT to a couple in DHS one trip and got the "crazy man" look... nobody expects kindness from strangers any more.

OP, I'd suggest something like buying the next person in line a drink at Starbucks, inviting the family behind you to move ahead in line, or offering the space in front of you at the parade to the kids standing behind you...

 

[tjmw2727]

This is why people are so hateful to one another these days. Everyone's offended; everyone's got a chip on their shoulder. Original poster, you do what you want to do. If parents don't want to accept your gifts, I hope they say no thank you and move on. You are doing a great thing by trying to raise kind, giving children - don't ever let them get on the internet or they'll realize the whole world sucks ;-)

No where did the OP state that this is the only act of charity they ever engage in.

Not sure how disagreeing with the OP and discussing this on a discussion board makes one hateful. Personally while I don't agree with some of the OP, I wouldn't be offended by the offer; but I would not accept used clothing at WDW either. I don't think that makes me hateful.

 

[serenitynow]

On our last visit, getting off the Magical Express bus, a woman walked up to us and gave our little guy a Arcade card good for the game room at the resort. They were leaving that day and the card still had quite a bit of money on it. My little guy was thrilled. He used the card one rainy night at the resort. The day we left he gave the same card to another little boy getting off the Magical Express bus (it still had a fair amount of money on it). I am not sure which part thrilled him more, getting the card or giving the card away. It was a nice "pay it forward" moment and I am grateful to the woman who first gave him the card. Thank you

 

[Hrhpd]

I really don't understand the idea of giving away used stuff at the parks. I totally agree--give it to someone who needs it, like local shelters, food pantries, etc. People at Disney are going to be getting their own souvenirs--they don't need somebody else's cast-offs. I know the intent is good, but just don't do it.

As for all the other little trinkets, eh. If you really want to, go ahead. But PLEASE check with parents first! But a couple things to keep in mind....

We try to teach our children not to take things from strangers. You know--the whole stranger danger thing. Make sure the child knows it's okay with his/her parents by having the parent involved as well. Don't try to hand something to a little one without the mom or dad there to say, "It's okay. You can take it."

And if you see a little one in melt down mode or being grumpy or whatever, don't try to rush in and "brighten" up their day. Could be they're in the midst of a tantrum. Could be they've just been a "nudge" all day. But parents may not want to reinforce that behavior by giving them treats. Maybe the parents are ignoring it so as to not give any attention to the bad behavior. You don't know the whole story from the glimpse you see.

Honestly, instead of "stuff", I'd try to reinforce just being kind to others. There are so many little things you and your children can do throughout your trip--things that don't cost a penny and will really brighten someone's day.

- Be polite. Should go without saying, but it doesn't always.
- Ask a CM about where they're from. Start a conversation.
- Say thank you to every CM you see.
- Help the struggling mom with the stroller and a sleeping kid trying to get on the bus.
- Say Happy Birthday or Congratulations to someone wearing a pin. Have your kids be on the lookout for those pins and see how many Happy Birthdays they can say in a day!
- Hold the door open for somebody.
- Let someone go ahead of you in line.
- Make room for the little ones to see at a parade.
- Smile! Be friendly. Chat with others in line. Strike up a conversation on the bus.
- Offer the extra seats at your QS table to someone looking for a place to sit.
- Stand on the bus so someone else can sit.

These are little things. But if everyone did them, just think how much happier a place it would be!

Excellent ideas!!

What boggles the mind is that the OP says she is a child therapist. She, of all people, should know not to interfere with a child having a meltdown or even a child looking a bit down.

What exactly are the criteria for the OP to find "the perfect" child for their Santa bag of used stuff? If they watch children to make a decision, I hope that one day they don't find themselves talking to security for stalking and then approaching this "perfect" child.

 

[Hrhpd]

On our last visit, getting off the Magical Express bus, a woman walked up to us and gave our little guy a Arcade card good for the game room at the resort. They were leaving that day and the card still had quite a bit of money on it. My little guy was thrilled. He used the card one rainy night at the resort. The day we left he gave the same card to another little boy getting off the Magical Express bus (it still had a fair amount of money on it). I am not sure which part thrilled him more, getting the card or giving the card away. It was a nice "pay it forward" moment and I am grateful to the woman who first gave him the card. Thank you

That to me is a true random act of kindness. Somebody had an unplanned excess and turned around and gave it to somebody.

Pre-Planning, purchasing, packing and then searching out the "perfect" kid at an expensive themepark to help you cope with a bad day is not a random act of kindness.

 

[jesse8931]

On our last visit, getting off the Magical Express bus, a woman walked up to us and gave our little guy a Arcade card good for the game room at the resort. They were leaving that day and the card still had quite a bit of money on it. My little guy was thrilled. He used the card one rainy night at the resort. The day we left he gave the same card to another little boy getting off the Magical Express bus (it still had a fair amount of money on it). I am not sure which part thrilled him more, getting the card or giving the card away. It was a nice "pay it forward" moment and I am grateful to the woman who first gave him the card. Thank you

I did the same thing. I put 40 dollars on the card played about 15 bucks ran out towards the magical express and have my card to the only kid in there. I'm sure he had a good time.

 

[Hrhpd]

There are lots of things that I have disagreed with over the years on these boards but never something that made me so sad about the human condition.

1)
Of course. What act charity isn't about the giver? So what?

2) When you're given a gift, say "thank you." Yes, yes; teach your children not to blindly accept gifts. But here's the deal--you're an adult. You can accept gifts, you can drive, you can drink alcohol, you can post on the internet without another adults permission.

3) If someone thinks you "look poor," so what? You can't control what other people think of you. You may be able to influence it by how you behave, dress, etc if that's your goal, but you may not.

4) "People at Disney don't need charity." Maybe true, maybe not. But it's clear that the OP goal is spreading kindness and good cheer. Clearly we are lacking in the kind of charity that supports our fellow humans if so many people can think of so many negative things to say about that.

1) I am not in need of charity when I am at one of the most expensive places to vacation in the US
2) I am not participating in any kind of celebration where gifts are normally given. A stranger handing something to another person to make their own day better, the OP's own words, is not a gift.
3) And it is the height of rudeness to call somebody out on their appearance. "You look poor, even though I know you just spent thousands to be in this park, here is some used clothing."
4) No, the OP is not spreading kindness and good cheer. She clearly stated in her OP that she gives out stuff because it makes them feel good after experiencing an irritation. And last I knew, Disney was not a charity, so charitable donations should not be given.

 

[wilkeliza]

I don't get why people keep saying that we are wrong for saying we wouldn't take used items. I grew up dirt poor and had to shop at Goodwill. I got made fun of it so much as a kid. I worked my way up and out and now have a pretty decent job that affords me the ability to buy what I want. I wouldn't be offended about the offer but I sure as heck would have wondered why the OP wanted to give me their used items when I definitly could have afforded the retail therapy myself.

I think something bought in the park and used, that is theme park/fair centered is one thing. Like my example of the bubble guns or others with the arcade cards, but bringing used Disney stuff from home just steps over the line for most of us. I'm sure a women's shelter or homeless shelter would have real use for them items.

 

[nooneshome]

We always ask the parents first if it is okay to give their kids anything.

We bought some jewels from Hobby Lobby and hand them out at Mickey's Philharmagic. Also we bring the really nice Mardi Gras beads to hand out. I'll wear a bunch and ask a child what their favorite color is of the beads I'm wearing. I'm still waiting for a Princess to earn her beads the "New Awlins" way!! Also we get a bunch of Disney character figurines from Dollar Tree and ask the kids what their favorite characters are.

It is also fun to buy people snacks using snack credits. This used to be so easy when you got two credits per day on the dining plan. A couple times a CM would notice that we were buying someone a snack and they would comp us.

 

[LiveYourLife]

4) No, the OP is not spreading kindness and good cheer. She clearly stated in her OP that she gives out stuff because it makes them feel good after experiencing an irritation. And last I knew, Disney was not a charity, so charitable donations should not be given.

Agreed!

Call me selfish, but when I'm at Disney and I need a pick-me-up after experiencing an irritation, I find the closest BAR.