Engagement Party question....

[momrek06]

I think a bottle of wine is perfectly appropriate.

YUP, bottle of wine in a nice gift bag, IT IS!!!

But what was with them including the Crate and Barrel registy info in this invitation?? As I am reading this thread and knowing the bride's mother (who has issues, I think I left that out) she probably suggested the registry before consulting any Engagement/Wedding etiquette books on what was proper and what was not proper.

My girl friend I spoke to yesterday linked me via email today, the TWO wedding websites (she was on) that states NO gifts for an Engagment party.

 

[Beth76]

But what was with them including the Crate and Barrel registy info in this invitation??

Simple. They want gifts.

 

[momrek06]

I just wanted to add, that the ORIGINAL engagement party was to have been in October 2006. They sent out the invites (with no registry in it) then there was a death in their family (totally unexpected). The e. party was postponed. Then they rescheduled it for Feb 17th.

What I think is odd about all of this is....the wedding is May 2008.

Had they had the e. party in October 2006 and now ultimately Feb 2007...do you find that this is really early for a wedding date of 5/2008??

Not sure when the bridal shower will be...but I will store away that "steamer" until the next event.

 

[Freyja]

I agree with your friend, hold the gift until the shower. Gifts are not to be expected for an engagement party.

Suzanne

I agree!

 

[lil mermaid]

I have been to a few engagement parties, not very many, but each time I have brought a SMALL token gift. A picture frame or bottle of wine, or something along those lines. I have never heard of enclosing registry information in an engagement party invite. Just doesn't seem right to me.

OP, if this wedding isn't even until May 2008, I think I would just return the gift for now, and buy something closer to the time of the shower/wedding. The couple could break up or change their minds about what they want on the registry fifty million times and you could be stuck with it.

 

[momrek06]

OP, if this wedding isn't even until May 2008, I think I would just return the gift for now, and buy something closer to the time of the shower/wedding. The couple could break up or change their minds about what they want on the registry fifty million times and you could be stuck with it.

YIKES!!! I never even thought of them possibly breaking up. I have never met the young man. They starting dating Aug 2005 and bride is 24 and he is closer to 28. He proposed Aug 2006. The bride's mom and I are friends. I rarely see her DD hence the reason I have yet to meet the groom to be.

 

[Beth76]

OK these people are definitely fishing for gifts. The wedding's over a year away and they've already registered?!?! I agree with the person who said to return the steamer. You don't want to be stuck with it. Can you still cancel the order or has it already been shipped. I'd hate for you to get stuck with the shipping.

 

[UnderTheMistletoe]

Well, for one, that stupid insert never should have been in that invitation. That was poor, poor etiquette. Truly, I wish the stores would stop giving them out as the brides may know but the families do not.

At $105, I would leave the gift at home and wait until the bridal shower. Otherwise, this wedding is going to get might expensive- engagement party, bridal shower, wedding gift. Holy moly! Talk about milking the cow.

If you bring anything to the engagement party with you, I would suggest that is be something small and keepsake. A picture frame that is engraved with the couple's engagement date perhaps?

My step-sister's mother (read my step-father's ex-wife) had a surprise engagement party thrown for them several months after the fact. What her mother didn't know was that the relationship was really on the rocks. They did receieve a few gifts and step-sister felt miserable returning them/explaining everything when she called the engagement off. I was happy she called it off (as were most people in the family), but it put a lot of pressure and undue stress on her at a time that she really didn't need or want it.

 

[lulugirl]

save it for the shower, and bring a nice bottle of champagne instead.

This is a lovely idea.

I've never been a big fan of engagement parties, they seem like nothing but a "gift grab" to me.

 

[momrek06]

OK these people are definitely fishing for gifts. The wedding's over a year away and they've already registered?!?! I agree with the person who said to return the steamer. You don't want to be stuck with it. Can you still cancel the order or has it already been shipped. I'd hate for you to get stuck with the shipping.

Ya, Beth, the wedding is May 2008!!!! I feel like such an idiot that I did not post this question earlier on the DIS before I went on the gift registry on Crate and Barrel and bought the gift. Yup, all "fulfilled" on the registry, bought, gift wrapped with gift card, shipped and WAS sitting here in my hallway...but have since put it back in the huge C&B box and taped that sucker up and have stored it in my basement.

And to add, the e. party was to be Oct 2006....why are they doing this so early...

And if any of my fabulous DISer's remember, this is the friend whose DD is having the destination wedding in Jamaica. The DD sent emails to everyone that was invited (back in Dec '06) requesting that we tell her YES or NO to our attendance at the wedding (by Jan 5th) . I sent back a nice email stating NO as not one but both my son's were graduating college (one undergrad, one masters) the week AFTER the wedding. (eta: I was then told by the mom (my friend) that I guess WE just do not love Julie enough because we are NOT attending her destination wedding!!! WTH!!!

Can you imagine she has asked all her guests that they had to respond by Jan 07 for a wedding May 08!!!! AND you are responsible for all your own travel expenses (so I was confused why bride had to know this so early).

UGH....

 

[kribit]

So now people have engagement parties and bridal showers? I would not buy a gift, especially if you are being invited to the shower.

Our engagement party was a celebratory night out with myself, dh, and my parents. Things have gotten out of control.

 

[minniecarousel]

And here I was feeling bad about NOT having engagment parties for my sons and their fiancees! The older DS gets married in May, and they are just registering at C&B today! The younger DS gets married in Oct.'08 & the only place they know for sure that they'll register at is Target since they both work there.

tacky!tacky! for putting in a "registered at" card in the engagment party announcement!

 

[Ms Marigny]

save it for the shower, and bring a nice bottle of champagne instead.

I have done this and was going to suggest the same thing (except that I buy a nice bottle of wine).