Engagement break off...ring legal issues????

[mbw12]

Ok, my nephew just called off his wedding. Just wondering.....and this is just hypothetical, because it really is not my decison.....just wondering......legally.....who gets the ring?
I know it is a "gift" or what ever....but is there any "legal" rights as to who gets the ring....the girl or the guy?

 

[Christine]

I think if the guy breaks of the engagement, the woman keeps the ring. If she breaks it off, she returns it. Not 100% on that though.

 

[Gaspode]

I think if the guy breaks of the engagement, the woman keeps the ring. If she breaks it off, she returns it. Not 100% on that though.

That is my understanding too although I don't think thats necessarily 'the law' - perhaps just tradition/the right way to go about it?

Best Wishes,
Gaspodé

 

[lewdyan1]

I personally agree with those opinions, but, FWIW, I have heard that it is a conditional gift and if the conditions are not fulfilled ie. the marriage, then the ring is returned.

 

[CarolA]

I actually read a legal column on this and the ring was not considred conditional. It was a gift from person A to person B and person B is not required to return it. (Some parents were suing a girl because she had a family heirloom and they lost) If you want to make sure you get the ring back you need a formal written agreement. (Very romantic???)

 

[RachelEllen]

I've seen legal decisions both ways, and although who called it off in an etiquette sense may matter, it doesn't seem to in a legal way.

But heck, wouldn't you return the ring? What possible reason is there to keep it except to stick it to the other person?

 

[Papa Deuce]

Judge Judy gives the ring back EVERY SINGLE TIME. Seriously. I have to watch as part of my job. Unless there is a bizarre circumstance, I can't see any reason the guy wouldn't get it back.

 

[Wishing on a star]

What's the old saying... possession is 99percent of the law???

My thoughts are that if the guy gives the girl a ring, it is a gift, once she chooses to accept it. ( Never heard of a 'conditional' gift! )

I too have to wonder, if the girl is breaking up with the guy, and she doesn't want him, then why would she want the ring!!!

 

[Papa Deuce]

I think if the guy breaks of the engagement, the woman keeps the ring. If she breaks it off, she returns it. Not 100% on that though.

Nope.... not at all. It is a conditional "gift". However, the second they get married it is the woman's forever.

 

[Wishing on a star]

Just read the post about Judge Judy... I really agree with her in returning the ring!!! I think this is one of those things that is subjective, and can be seen both way.

However, when ever somebody on Judge Judy says that money, or other items, exchanged in a relationship are gifts, she does NOT make them return it... She always tells the other party, if it is not a gift, 'get it in writing'!

 

[Chicago526]

Laws vary from place to place, so there's no real way to know.

As for why she'd want to keep it? To sell it, of course.

Ettiquite-wise, I think if the guy breaks it off, the girl should keep it (unless its a family heirloom) and if the girl breaks it off, she should give it back.

 

[Papa Deuce]

Laws vary from place to place, so there's no real way to know.

As for why she'd want to keep it? To sell it, of course.

Ettiquite-wise, I think if the guy breaks it off, the girl should keep it (unless its a family heirloom) and if the girl breaks it off, she should give it back.

Possibly, but again, I go back to Judge Judy. She adjudicates cases from all over the US, using the laws from the state that the parties reside. She has NEVER given a ring to the woman.

My Bad. I edited this. She has NEVER given a ring to the woman. .

 

[laurajetter]

The ring is not just a 'gift,' but rather is given with the agreement and understanding that the two people are going to be married. If the agreement is broken, the ring should go back to its rightful owner, the man who bought it.

I think it is ridiculous and self-serving to think otherwise.

Laura

 

[Obi-Wan Pinobi]

Why do I get the feeling this is one of those things where opinions are going to depend on one's gender?

Seriously though -- I think the ring is a conditional gift on a promise between two people -- or to borrow a line from "Meet the Parents", a "Circle of trust." If one breaks it off, then the ring should go to the other. The guy breaks it off, the girl keeps it; the girl breaks it off, she returns it to the guy.

Of course, if the guy breaks the engagement, I'm not sure why the girl would want to keep the ring other than to sell it. I would think it would just be a reminder of the broken engagement.

But here's a twist. Let's say the guy breaks it off because the girl cheated on him. Who gets the ring then? I say the guy. Likewise if the girl breaks it off because he cheated, she keeps it.

 

[Maleficent13]

Papa Deuce, am I crazy, or are you contradicting yourself in your posts? First one says:

Judge Judy gives the ring back EVERY SINGLE TIME.

and then later:

again, I go back to Judge Judy. She adjudicates cases from all over the US, using the laws from the state that the parties reside. She has NEVER given a ring back.

Just confused...

 

[Papa Deuce]

Papa Deuce, am I crazy, or are you contradicting yourself in your posts? First one says:



and then later:



Just confused...

Doh! What I mean is that she always gives the ring back! Thanks!

 

[CinderellaIam]

In NY most girls learn in their teens that the law is that if the ring is given on "any non specific day" it is a commitment and the ring is returned if the engagement is broken. BUT, if it is given for a birthday or holiday such as Christmas or Valentine's day then it is a "gift" and the girl keeps it.

The right thing to do in my opinion is to give it back.

 

[jrydberg]

In most states, an engagement ring is considered a "conditional gift" -- that is, a gift that requires the completion of the marriage in order for ownership to transfer.

However, courts are not clear on whether it matters who broke it off. Some have said that if the ring donor breaks it off, he is not entitled to it back. But lately many states have adopted a "no fault" approach, meaning it doesn't matter -- the ring donor always is entitled to it back.

Regardless of the law, IMO, one should always return the ring if the engagement is broken off. It's just the right thing to do.

 

[laurajetter]

Regardless of the law, IMO, one should always return the ring if the engagement is broken off. It's just the right thing to do.

I agree with jrydberg.

 

[Pooh Crew]

Just my two cents, but I think the ring is a "gift given in contemplation of marriage" and should be returned regardless of who breaks off the engagement...just like all the wedding presents should be returned if the wedding doesn't take place. That's just the right thing to do.