Engaged w/o engagement ring??

[cgcw]

I didn't have an engagement ring, nor did I want one. It was the second marriage for both of us. I wanted this marriage to be as different as possible from my first one. So, when we were married, we wore our simple gold bands. 10 years later, we bought an anniversary ring which I wore in place of my original wedding band. A couple years after that, the kids & DH bought me a family ring, which I now wear along with my anniversary ring. 17 years yesterday and counting.

I've never felt that an engagement ring was necessary and no one questioned why I never wore one while we planned our wedding.

 

[Grammyof2]

I never had an "engagement ring" until after we were married for a year. I didn't feel it was all that important, plus we were poor.

We bought our wedding rings when the price of gold was through the roof (26 years ago). I know people that have spent less on the engagement ring then we did on 2 gold bands.

I have the ring of my dreams now. It was a gift for our 25th anniversary. I never felt any less "engaged" for lack of a ring.

 

[princesscj]

I asked my boyfriend a stupid question, and then got a stupid answer, then I said then you truely don't love me. We were very serious at the time. I was very upset, and he didn't know how to comfort me - I was PMSing by the way. So, he said, do you really want to know how much I love you? Every day at lunch I have been driving to this jewelers and we have been designing your engagement ring! He desiged it and the jeweler was helping pick out stones, etc and figuring out how to do the complicated design.

I about fell out of my chair and well of course I started crying and the stupid question was over. He didn't propose and we layed in bed discussing what kind of wedding we wanted. We decided on not telling anyone until I got the ring. Well, we decided on a beach wedding at the beach we feel is the place we fell in love. My parents were playing a trip nearby the beach a week before.

So, we had to spill the beans since we didn't think they would want to do both trips or afford it.

We flew to the beach to start making arrangements and once we first arrived, we decided to take a walk on the beach and play in the water first before getting to work. While on the beach, my boyfriend got down on one knee and proposed!!

Everyone accepted it cause we had a plan and the ring just wanted finished yet, but being made.

I think if you set a date, not have a materialistic thing like the ring doesn't matter. Especially if eveyone knows how serious you two are.

Besides, if all else fells get the CZ! If they the notice it's CZ you can just say you are saving up for the big one or something.

Good luck and Congratulations!!!!

 

[miss missy]

Thats easy... WHO CARS WHAT THEY THINK!

I was engaged without a ring... we planned our little day and eloped! We bought wedding rings for that, but I didn't get a diamond until 2 years later when he got it on his own for me. I told him I wanted a house not a ring, so we got a house after 14 months of being married!

I could care less about "the diamond" it really isn't a big thing for me. I have been married 13 years and he is the best!

 

[VSL]

Me and Jay have been discussing the possibility of no engagement ring or wedding bands. We don't wear jewellery so I really don't see the point of doing it just to conform to what other people expect.

I also don't intend to be 'given away' by my dad - I want to walk down the aisle (or whatever!) hand in hand with my FH - and my BF will be the only one to see my dress before the 'big day' (rather than the last one to see it)...

 

[Stepharoonie!]

I believe in getting married for meaning, not for show. If you don't have a ring, does it really matter THAT much?

 

[KelNottAt]

Me and Jay have been discussing the possibility of no engagement ring or wedding bands. We don't wear jewellery so I really don't see the point of doing it just to conform to what other people expect.

I also don't intend to be 'given away' by my dad - I want to walk down the aisle (or whatever!) hand in hand with my FH - and my BF will be the only one to see my dress before the 'big day' (rather than the last one to see it)...

I totally respect your decisions and even envy some of your choices. However, you may find later that you'll want a simple wedding band. It's a very useful device for letting single people know you and/or Jay are unavailable. Prevents a bit of embarrassment, especially in workplaces.

 

[NMAmy]

I didn't have an engagement ring, nor did I want one. It was the second marriage for both of us. I wanted this marriage to be as different as possible from my first one. So, when we were married, we wore our simple gold bands. 10 years later, we bought an anniversary ring which I wore in place of my original wedding band. A couple years after that, the kids & DH bought me a family ring, which I now wear along with my anniversary ring. 17 years yesterday and counting.

I've never felt that an engagement ring was necessary and no one questioned why I never wore one while we planned our wedding.

Same thing here. I didn't want an engagement ring and no one ever questioned it. DH offered to get me one but I suggested we use the money for a trip to WDW for him, dd, and I. WAY better than a ring, IMO.

DH and I both wear a simple gold band. It means much more to me than the diamonds I had from my first marriage. Those will go to dd when she's older.

 

[LindsayDunn228]

I also don't intend to be 'given away' by my dad - I want to walk down the aisle (or whatever!) hand in hand with my FH - and my BF will be the only one to see my dress before the 'big day' (rather than the last one to see it)...

Who is your FH??

 

[VSL]

Who is your FH??

Jay/FH/BF - all the same person I should probably stick to one name/title!

 

[LindsayDunn228]

Jay/FH/BF - all the same person I should probably stick to one name/title!

Please do, you got me all confused!!

 

[Disney Doll]

DH is a traditional sort of guy, so I got a ring when he proposed.

Had he proposed without a ring, I still would have said yes. I loved him and wanted to marry him...the jewelry didn't really matter.

I also agree with the poster who said she will never "trade up" for a bigger or better engagement ring. I love the one he gave me, he picked it out, he gave it to me, it represents our early love which has deepened into the relationship we have now. A traded up ring wouldn't mean as much to me.

My engagement ring and wedding band are pretty but relatively simple by today's standards...I am not a flashy person, so they work for me. DH picked out the diamond, but he and I designed the band to sort of "fit" around the engagement ring, because I have a marquis-shaped stone. I have quite a few acquaintances, who married around when I did, who had the big 3 carat ring with the flashy wedding band with multiple diamonds and so on, who are now divorced. I am going on 15 years, so I guess the "flash", or lack thereof in our case, isn't the important thing, right?

 

[ChibiJones]

No engagement ring here either, just a simple wedding band. We eloped after being together for almost 10 years. DH is very much against the diamond industry (thanks to a Frontline expose several years ago) and I don't wear jewelry. I wanted a house rather than an expensive wedding.

I have one friend who also doesn't have an engagement ring. Another has an engagement ring with a pearl rather than a diamond.

 

[scrump]

No engagement ring here, either. DH actually wanted to get me one, but I was pretty indiffferent, so we just didn't get one.

I do find that some people took me less seriously without a ring, but I didn't care. It was pretty amusing to be told that I "wasn't really engaged, since I didn't have a ring".

 

[Beth76]

There does not need to be a ring for there to be an official engagement. That's silly. Anyone who thinks so is silly and isn't worth your time. I suppose they'll finally be convinced when they receive the invitation to your wedding. It shouldn't make any difference to you.

Now, I wish I had realized that 7 years ago. Then we wouldn't have wasted $4000 on a ring that I don't need and never wear.

 

[Jen_in_NH]

DH did not give me a ring when he asked me to marry him. We had talked about it prior to that, and we had decided that when he asked me, then we would go pick out a ring together. I work as a FF/Paramedic, and any ring I wore would need to fit under my gloves, not catch on too much, etc.

I can't picture what would have happened if he tried to pick out a ring for me. He said he would have asked either his cousin or a friend of his family to go with him. Looking at what they wear for jewelry (the bigger the better, for them), I probably would have hated it. I like really plain and simple jewelry.

And no, I have no intention of trading up on my ring. I love the one he got me, and in my mind, it's the feelings behind the ring rather than the ring itself that are important.

Jen

 

[suzannen]

I didn't have an engagement ring, nor did I want one. It was the second marriage for both of us. I wanted this marriage to be as different as possible from my first one. So, when we were married, we wore our simple gold bands. 10 years later, we bought an anniversary ring which I wore in place of my original wedding band. A couple years after that, the kids & DH bought me a family ring, which I now wear along with my anniversary ring. 17 years yesterday and counting.

I've never felt that an engagement ring was necessary and no one questioned why I never wore one while we planned our wedding.

This is very similar to me. It was also my second marriage and I wanted everything to be different as well. I told DH that to have a ring simply to symbolize I was "getting married" had zero meaning to me. Getting married was not important, it was the "being married" and having it last that was what truly mattered to me. I therefore, did not want an engagement ring, but rather wanted my wedding band to be the most important ring I would wear and that then on our 10th anniversary, he could get me a ring that symbolized what we had built together. So, DH and my jeweler designed and original wedding band with small diamonds and one small emerald that women are always asking me about where I got it. And, then on my 10th anniversary, my wonderful DH presented me with the most gorgeous platinum 3-stone anniversary ring that I wear on my right hand (certainly bigger than what DH could have afforded 16 years ago). No one ever questioned if we were serious about getting married. And, unlike a majority of my friends, I haven't and would never dream of "trading" up either of my rings. Sometimes by breaking a tradition you end up with something even more special and unique.

 

[XYSRUS]

I have an engagement ring but never got a wedding ring...never heard the end of it from my mom...still happily married for 12 yrs and four kids. Don't listen to others. They'll make you crazy.

 

[DisneyMommyMichelle]

i did have a ring, but after the proposal the ring went off to be fitted, waaay too big! so it was at the jewelers when we told his father and their family..they all asked to see the ring and when we said it was at the jewelers you could tell they didn't believe us?! haha.. they are also all materialistic keep up with the Joneses type of people...so the easy answer is WHO CARES!!! after children, and being a SAHM i RARELY if ever wear my engagement ring, it scratches the babies all the time! we just wear our platinum bands and that's it most of the time

 

[Chicago526]

DH and I decided to get married, and I didn't get a ring. We had enough going on trying to pay for the wedding (much of which went on the credit card) and trying to buy a home. We just called up our parents (both his and mine live out of state) and told them, and told our friends and family as we came into contact with them. No big deal.

DH still wants to get me a diamond ring, although I told him I don't care and he doesn't have to. But I think he feels bad that he couldn't afford one at the time.