end of winter break, DD has left

[FINFAN]

and I am a wreck.
This time is brutal. not sure why...just can't stop the tears, missing her so much already. Can anyone near Sarasota adopt me until May?
117 days to go and counting, praying she gets a local internship for summer, then her final Senior year and she will REALLY be gone....sigh...DS is home sick, I never thought that would be a good thing, but we really need each other right now.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

 

[Pea-n-Me]

Aww.

 

[Trish Bessette]

I KNOW I will be the same way when my DD's go to college

Hugs to you and hope your DS gets better soon! Hang in there.

 

[mamacatnv]

Gosh, seems like yesterday when we were talking about prom dresses! My, how time flies. DS is still local although still living on campus but is starting to look at Physical Therapy schools and for this he will have to leave I am dreading that day with all of my being.

Hope DD gets a local internship and that the spring flies by!

 

[Feralpeg]

Been there. I know exactly how you feel. DD graduated last May and I have so loved having her home again. Next September, she will begin a masters program in the UK. I am beside myself at the idea of her being an ocean away for a year. What I am most afraid off is that she will meet someone while in England, marry and stay there forever. It breaks my heart, but she has the right to live her life. Unfortunately, that doesn't include having mom with her day to day. I'm sure I'll survive, but the thought of it makes me so sad.

Hang in there, OP!

 

[dislaney]

 

[padams]

 

[FINFAN]

Gosh, seems like yesterday when we were talking about prom dresses! My, how time flies. DS is still local although still living on campus but is starting to look at Physical Therapy schools and for this he will have to leave I am dreading that day with all of my being.

Hope DD gets a local internship and that the spring flies by!

can you believe that was almost 5 years ago? That was DD's 1st prom, May of '07! Are PT schools 4 years? If any shorter that may help a bit. Our dog is beside himself, DS is miserable up in bed, DH is not hapy to be at work instead of being the one to take DD to the airport... she is with her BF which is a huge comfort as they love the school and it is good for them to be heading back...but she was so overworked last semester, and this one is going to be even harder, I just hated seeing her go. DH's 50th is in a few wekks and I know how bummed he will be that we can't all be together...this is why my NY Resolution is to put EVERY spare cent in to the travel fund!


Thanks everyone for all the hugs and support, I know it is supposed to get easier, but it just hasn't..she's just and amazing person, so not having her around is such a void. (already) however, tomorrow will be 116 days..my countdown has begun!
eta" make that 4 years...my math is way off..just not with it today!

 

[disneyred]

yes.. time flys , especially when your kids grow up so fast.

 

[eliza61]

Gosh, seems like yesterday when we were talking about prom dresses! My, how time flies. DS is still local although still living on campus but is starting to look at Physical Therapy schools and for this he will have to leave I am dreading that day with all of my being.

Hope DD gets a local internship and that the spring flies by!

Why? Seriously. I was so godawful proud of my first born when he set off for college. First of all he has Aspergers, so just getting into college was a trail.

Sorry but isn't the point of parenthood is to raise functioning independant adults? why would you dread them turning into that?

So do you want her to get a local internship for her sake or for your own?

Instead of dreading the day how about discovery all the possibilities that now await you? do you define your total existence through your daughter. Not asking snarkingly (is that a word?). Take this time to explore your opportunities. You may find you have hobbies that you can now participate in and develop. please don't just sit around and count down days, isn't that an awful lot of pressure to put on a child.

My son is a great young adult. it is absolutely beautiful watching him develop his life and new people in them. I'm fortunate that he wants to share that with me but I'm also fortunate that I have a life to share with him. Hubby and I still have to work but we are doing a lot of great things that we put to the side when the kids came.

Even trips to disney without the kids has been new and exciting.

 

[Kitty 34]

Believe me, I know exactly how you feel!

 

[minniecarousel]

OP - I know exactly how you're feeling! My sons are 2 years apart and the older one came home after going away to college, then they both left again at the same time. ugh! A double whammy. When you're living it - it's downright painful. It gets better. I don't think it's so much that I didn't want them to "fly" - I just missed our lives when they were growing up.

Mine are both married men & thankfully live near-by. I love seeing them as often as we can get together.

I know you want what's best for her.

Hang in there Mom.

 

[Feralpeg]

Why? Seriously. I was so godawful proud of my first born when he set off for college. First of all he has Aspergers, so just getting into college was a trail.

Sorry but isn't the point of parenthood is to raise functioning independant adults? why would you dread them turning into that?

So do you want her to get a local internship for her sake or for your own?

Instead of dreading the day how about discovery all the possibilities that now await you? do you define your total existence through your daughter. Not asking snarkingly (is that a word?). Take this time to explore your opportunities. You may find you have hobbies that you can now participate in and develop. please don't just sit around and count down days, isn't that an awful lot of pressure to put on a child.

My son is a great young adult. it is absolutely beautiful watching him develop his life and new people in them. I'm fortunate that he wants to share that with me but I'm also fortunate that I have a life to share with him. Hubby and I still have to work but we are doing a lot of great things that we put to the side when the kids came.

Even trips to disney without the kids has been new and exciting.

I am incredibly proud of my daughter and beyond excited for her new adventure. She's doing things I always wanted to do. I would never want her to give up her dreams. That being said, I will miss her terribly. I missed her so much when she was away at college the first time. I manage to keep busy. I have many things I enjoy, but I will miss my best friend. I will still go to the parks, but from experience, it isn't the same when she isn't with me. A lot of that is because it has always been just the two of us. Going to the parks by myself is okay. Not great.

So, to answer your question. Yes, my goal was to develop a wonderful independent adult. I did that. Do I define myself through my daughter? Maybe, to some extent. I am a person who enjoys many things, but I am also a mom and a best friend to my daughter. I will survive, but I will miss her.

Not trying to put words in the OPs mouth, but I'm sure she feels somewhat the same way.

 

[FINFAN]

Why? Seriously. I was so godawful proud of my first born when he set off for college. First of all he has Aspergers, so just getting into college was a trail.

Sorry but isn't the point of parenthood is to raise functioning independant adults? why would you dread them turning into that?

So do you want her to get a local internship for her sake or for your own?

Instead of dreading the day how about discovery all the possibilities that now await you? do you define your total existence through your daughter. Not asking snarkingly (is that a word?). Take this time to explore your opportunities. You may find you have hobbies that you can now participate in and develop. please don't just sit around and count down days, isn't that an awful lot of pressure to put on a child.

My son is a great young adult. it is absolutely beautiful watching him develop his life and new people in them. I'm fortunate that he wants to share that with me but I'm also fortunate that I have a life to share with him. Hubby and I still have to work but we are doing a lot of great things that we put to the side when the kids came.

Even trips to disney without the kids has been new and exciting.

there are MANY points of being a parent, I have raised a functioning independent adult...that doesn't mean it is required she be a great locational distance from me to prove it. Where did I state I was dreading that for her? BTW, I didn't "turn" her into anything, she is her own person by her own achievements. I don't parent that way.
The local Internship is primarily financial so she can get accept even if it is unpaid by being able to live back home...see, that's for her FUTURE to have the experience so she is marketable in more locations. If it is a win-win being that we get to be closer to her, even better. Seeing her turn 21 during a summer at home would be a bonus.
From your post your DS is close enough to be a frequent part of your life, as you said you get to watch him ...precisely my point, our DD is almost 1200 miles away.
Not a lot of time for hobbies, we take careof 3 elder parents...perhaps my DD is seeing that and likes it or doesn't. It takes away any extra $ I could earn to travel with her or to see her. It takes away freedom and time from my DH and DS.
I am happy that you have a well suited situation that brings you joy...or was that too "snarky" of me?
BTW....we have sacrficed more than you can imagine for her to attend where she does...so that she would have wings to fly when she graduates. Having been able to see her the equivalent of less than 6 months over the last 3 years is difficult when you have a close family, as you can see by the posts others have made as well.


Thanks Feralpeg...yes, you expressed my feelings very well, and I appreciate your post. You DD , if she is overseas, and if she did meet someone, sure seems to me like the type of DD who would be looking for her Mom to seek outa second home or flat near her....my DD is constantly saying that wherever she ends up, she hopes we are able to follow.

 

[punkin]

Aww...DD is here for another 2 weeks, but I am dreading it already.

 

[momrek06]

I am blue today as well. My DS attends law school on the east coast. He flew home to San Diego Dec 19th. We have had so much seeing him. Last time he was home was August for just 5 days. And we went to the east coast for 2 weeks in Sept.
So his return flight was scheduled for Saturday, 8th. Then I get the dreaded email (Tuesday) from my DSis who lives on the east coast stating that there maybe a storm headed for the weekend.

Well we decided not to mess around with any snowstorms. Michael needed to be in class on Monday. So we quickly changed his flight and we went from having 5 more days with him to just 24 hours.

So he took a red eye last night from San Diego and is all set; back on the east coast.

And now it looks like the east coast will be getting slammed again. So it was a really good decision to send him back early.

But DH & I have no east coast travel plans until August ....

 

[Ponygirl]

I'm sorry you are hurting. I remember the first few days of each college semester when I would miss my DD so bad. We have always been very close and it felt like when she left, some of the sunshine went out of my life. The first couple of weeks were sad and lonely but things improve with time.

I hope you feel better soon.

 

[christineann]

I watched my daughter drive off today for her last semester in college. While I am sad to see her drive away each time, I am so excited for her - she will have a lot of opportunities when she graduates. She will graduate two weeks before my son (age 25) gets married. May is going to be quite a big month for our family

 

[Swimnoid]

That was me last Sunday. DD left to go back to grad school. It didnt hit me that hard when she went in the fall but for some reason this time was really depressing! And I talk to her everyday! All better now though.