Empty nesters, what do you miss most....

[MerMom60_94]

about when your children were living at home? Follow-up to the "What do you miss thread". Also, just to give me something to look forward to, what do you like about this phase of your life?

 

[minkydog]

I'm not even an empty nester yet and already i miss them. My oldest, DS23, is out of hte house but we still have DD16 & DS14. My daughter is gone half the time, spending time dancing or hanging with her BFFs. She's kinda gotten past all that stuff we used to do, like baking cookies together, working on projects, going to the library together. I miss the Play-doh Maker, making costumes, bubbles, "ants on a log", making pies together, reading aloud, going to the pumpkin patch, picking apples or blueberries, and decorating for the holidays. DD still likes to put the Christmas tree up and watch sappy movies.She wants me to rub her poor dancer's feet. She likes to have some Girls Night Out. <sigh>

 

[Saphire]

I Miss:
-Being a part of their everyday life.
-The dinner table.
-Knowing their friends, and having them stop by our house.
-Knowing they are safe each night, because they are under my roof.
-The laughter and life they bring to a house.

What I Like About This Phase Of My Life:
-The feeling of freedom of only having to be responsible for me.
-Having a more flexible schedule.
-Feeling more connected to my husband.
-Being able to volunteer more.
-At home gourmet dinners for two.

 

[LindaR]

I am a single mom. Raised dd20 by myself for almost 19 years.........so it has ALWAYS been just us.

What do I miss most? Probably just KNOWING that she was in the house, even if she was in the office doing homework and we barely had a chance to speak to each other. The comfort of knowing that there is another person there.

What have I really enjoyed about being an empty-nester?

1. I cook whatever *I* want! If I want to grill salmon 4 nights a week, there's no complaints!
2. No "discussions" about what to watch on tv. My choice!
3. I hang out with my girlfriends more often, go to dinner, get home when I feel like it.
4. Went on a vacation WITHOUT my daughter for the first time last year! My best friend and I had a getaway to Hawaii. Good GOLLY, I can't tell you how fun that was!!!! Didn't have to set a good example or anything! (Stayed up late and drank alcohol!!!!!)
5. Grocery bill is ALOT less.

Okay.........here's something that's not so nice.....I enjoy getting the panicked phone calls where dd HAS to figure out how to handle something by herself (smoke detector batteries in the middle of the night, killing her OWN bugs, etc) because now SHE knows (or is getting a taste) what its like to be independent.

That being said...........I miss her like crazy and she misses me (she's 200 miles away) and we text/talk throughout the day, every day.

 

[LindaR]

Oh, and let me add............that I REALLY miss having someone to carry in the groceries!

I have a very bad back and I keep swearing that I am going to train the dog to wear a backpack so HE can help with the groceries! He walks back and forth with me so he might as well earn HIS food!

 

[MIGrandma]

What do I miss? Having dinner all together in the evenings. DS is currently embarking on a new career (truck driving) so I won't be seeing him as often anymore but DD lives just about a half-mile down the road so we see her and her family often. I'm glad we've remained close with our kids.

What do I like about this phase of my life, being empty nesters and rapidly approaching our "golden years"....the peace and quiet. And having more time to do things I enjoy. Being able to travel when we want to, or go camping. Having less laundry to do. Having a smaller budget at the grocery store. Hearing the phone ringing less often. Having grandchildren to spend time with and enjoy.

 

[tegdig]

What do I miss? Having dinner all together in the evenings. DS is currently embarking on a new career (truck driving) so I won't be seeing him as often anymore but DD lives just about a half-mile down the road so we see her and her family often. I'm glad we've remained close with our kids.

What do I like about this phase of my life, being empty nesters and rapidly approaching our "golden years"....the peace and quiet. And having more time to do things I enjoy. Being able to travel when we want to, or go camping. Having less laundry to do. Having a smaller budget at the grocery store. Hearing the phone ringing less often. Having grandchildren to spend time with and enjoy.

I was so close to my kids while they were growing up, we were so involved, coaching teams, sewing dance costumes, etc. My son went away to college and has never really lived back home again. He even did a stint as a truck driver to see the country for awhile...that was the hardest time with him. You will worry a lot. Just not knowing where he was when I put my head down on the pillow at night...but he would check in with me often and tell me about where he was and what he had seen.
My daughter and I , oh so close...she went away to college and then went to work for The Mouse for several years....those years were the longest of my life....the distance, the "good-byes" at the airports on each end.(a lot of fun time visiting too!!!!!! she could have gone to a worse place, right?)
But, once again, I would get calls about everything good, and bad that was going on and shared it all with her.
She now lives in the same town as me, and life is wonderful! My son lives a few hours away and has given me a granddaughter that has given me joy that I had no idea I could feel.
The growing pains are hard, but you grow along with them. Doesn't matter how far they go or what they do, they still need you, and home! To see them out there making it on their own gives you such pride. They grow up to be your friends, not just your children, and having some time just for you along the way isn't all bad! I quess you just have to enjoy every day and every stage along the way as they come!

 

[minkydog]

I have a very bad back and I keep swearing that I am going to train the dog to wear a backpack so HE can help with the groceries! He walks back and forth with me so he might as well earn HIS food!

I swear, I've considered getting a flock of pack-goats.

 

[LindaR]

Well, I would only be able to train the big mutt-guy because HE would do anything for his momma. The toy poodle stands at the end of the deck and says, "*itch, please.......like *I* would do manual labor?"

 

[darlak]

The things I miss more than anything else are sitting around the dinner table everyday and hearing about how everyone's day went and family vacations with just me, DH and our 4 kids. The other thing is that last look in on everyone before I went to bed and knowing that I could sleep with the knowledge that everyone was safe. I always was and still usually am the last one to bed in my house and I really miss that.

The benefits of having only one at home are less laundry, more disposable income (to go on more vacations), the time to discover more things I'm interested in doing just for me, more time with my husband and the flexability to travel on spur of the moments weekend getaways with him (my adult children are all still in the general area, so there's always somewhere to leave DD15 with little notice). I also get to spend more time with just my 15 year old. Spending time alone with each of them when all 4 were still at home was always a struggle.

The one thing I still can't seem to master is cooking for 3 instead of 6. So if you're in my neighborhood around dinnertime, feel free to drop by, as there's always more than enough to feel a few extra people!

 

[NMAmy]

I miss having her around and playing games with her. She's 18 and still loves board games--we drag them all out every time she's home. I miss having lots of kids in and out of the house.

I do enjoy a break from the constant drama of a teenage daughter. Seems like something is always life and death, make or break. I love having lots of time with DH and being able to enjoy the quiet and not having to constantly rush here and there. I like having a house that stays moderately tidy.

DD is at college so she's not totally out on her own yet. She calls just about every day to tell me what she's up to. I'm proud of the fact that she's very independent and she's doing well.

 

[MerMom60_94]

I miss having her around and playing games with her. She's 18 and still loves board games--we drag them all out every time she's home. I miss having lots of kids in and out of the house.

We're game players too. I know that is something I'll miss when DD moves on.

I'm enjoying these responses. I know each stage of life presents it's ups and downs. The downs of the next stage for me are so obvious that I am enjoying seeing what the bright side is. LindaR, if you can design a doggy grocery carrier pack you might want to patent it. I can see there would be a market for such a devise.

 

[MsAmerica]

I miss the constant revolving door of friends the most.....


MsA

 

[Snowysmom]

I miss just having them around to talk with and having dinner together. We are lucky that both guys are nearby and at least one is home every weekend. We try to have dinner together once a week even when they are studying hard for tests. We'll bring dinner to them if we have to! They share an apartment near both schools.

What is nice is being closer to DH now and going out to dinner once in a while. We have even started taking short trips away, just the 2 of us. DH keeps saying he wants grandchildren and so do I but after the kids are out of school and in their careers!