Elderly Dog advice (sad, be warned) update post #21

[marshallandcartersmo]

This is in response to another thread I just read. How do you know the "right" time to put a dog to sleep?? We have a 14 year old Miniature Schnauzer, Britney. Within the past several months her health has deteriorated. She can barely see, has no hearing anymore, it's a struggle for her to walk up or down stairs, and she doesn't eat much. We have to carry her to go outside to use the bathroom, and she has had a few accidents in the house lately. We've also noticed she's having trouble putting weight on her back legs, and she sorta "hunches down" a lot.
We took her to the vet several months ago when this started, they said she's an old dog and there wasn't much more we could do for her.
But how do we know when it's "time"?? Just because she's slow, deaf, and almost blind---is that a cause to put her to sleep? Please know, if that is the right thing I'm totally for it, I truly don't want her to suffer. However, I'd feel horrible if we did it "too soon".

 

[Cindyluwho]

Sadly, over my life I have had to put down 4 animals. 3 were very elderly and 1 had neurological problems that led to numerous strokes, etc. I always based my decision on whether or not my pet was enjoying life & free of severe pain. That being said, when all was said and done and I had time to reflect I always felt later that I had waited too long. The love is so strong it's hard to face when it's really time.
Every one makes the decision differently and I know however you come to your conclusion it will be the right decision for you and your pet. Big hugs, I'll be thinking of you.

 

[ilovepcot]

I'm certainly NOT the one to say. After one of my dogs finally died, I could look back and see I had allowed it to linger on *far* too long. It was especially evident in pictures...I was horrified how bad my dog looked. She had wasted to the point where her sking hung, she had uncontrolled seizures, very little use of her back legs, was blind, deaf and had a horrible sore on her side all the way to the bone!!!! I meticulously cared for it 3 X daily...cleaning and dressing. I lost *all perspective* and got bitter and angry when friends and family urged me to "very kindly" let her go. DH finally stepped in while I was out of town for a funeral and helped her over the Rainbow. I was angry at first but deep down realized he had the presence of mind to do the dog a wonderful kindness, and ultimately a kindness for me as well. So no, I certainly can't advise anyone. One thing I would like to say though, if at all possible, prepare a way to have the vet come to your home so the dog isn't traumatized by the sterile environment of a "clinical" setting. They may be old but they still know when they're at the vet! Not a peaceful thing at all under the circumstances. to you and your sweet dog. Hope someone comes along on this thread that can help you make the right decision.

 

[disneyaggie]

As a huge animal lover, my heart breaks for you. I agree with Cindyluwho, if the dog is not enjoying life and is in severe pain, putting your baby to sleep is the right and humane thing to do. It's one thing if you just got bored with the dog, but that certainly is not the case. This is a very painful decision (been there, done that) and I truly will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

Talk with your vet. Mine was awesome. My little yorkie was so ill, almost blind and we found he had a tumor. There was nothing we could do, treatment-wise, since he was 18 years old. His blood levels were so bad that the vet said, "I think today is the day". Those words will always stay with me. But he was right. I held my baby as he went to sleep. I know I did the right thing.

Hugs and pixie dust to you.

 

[christineann]

My heart aches for you. I had to have my wonderful 6 year old lab put down 2 years ago, about 3 weeks after he was diagnosed with lymphoma. He was put on prednisone, which gave him some time when he felt good, but I could see it in his eyes one night and told him it was ok to go. The vet told me I could take him back home, but it would be 2-3 days, and I didn't want him to die alone and/or in pain, so my daughter and I held him in our arms while he was given the shot. It would not have been fair to keep him around for us. I told her it was our last act of love for him, and that she had better find a way to do that for me if it ever happens to me someday. I'm so sorry. Britney has obviously enjoyed a long life in the care of someone who loves her very much, and you should take comfort in that.

 

[PrincessKitty1]

That being said, when all was said and done and I had time to reflect I always felt later that I had waited too long. The love is so strong it's hard to face when it's really time.

This is so true. I had a wonderful German Shepherd mix (pound rescue at the age of 1-3 yrs, vet not sure)with hip dysplasia who went downhill very fast at the age of about 12-13. She went from needing Rimadyl twice a day to not being able to walk. The vet put her on prednisone as a short-term stop-gap and she was much better, happy, and able to walk again. I had my beautiful dog put to sleep the day I found her unable to walk again, even with the prednisone. I hope she didn't suffer too much but I think dogs are very stoic and probably hurt more than we understand. to you and your beloved Britney.

 

[umaangel00]

I am not sure I have an easy answer for you either. I had a wonderful dalmation/lab mix growing up. I believe she was only 6 years old when she started having seziures. Come to find out Dalmations are prone to Eplisepsy. It got to the point that even her meds didn't stop the seziures. She lost all body functions when it happened and we decided to put her down. I was a cheerleader and it was the first game of the season the day it happened. I will never forget it.

 

[Gretel]

I just put my one dog to sleep on Thursday, and I don't think a person ever knows if they did the right thing or if it was the right time........

 

[wdwmom2]

One thing I would like to say though, if at all possible, prepare a way to have the vet come to your home so the dog isn't traumatized by the sterile environment of a "clinical" setting. They may be old but they still know when they're at the vet!

Yes, if you can arrange this, it would be the best option when you decide that the time has come. I did this with my last dog. He was old and pretty much on his last leg, although not in any pain. I found him unconcious at midnight, called the vet, and he was at our home within 30 minutes. Luke peacefully passed in my arms minutes after the vet arrived. It was a hard phonecall to make but definately the right one.

to you and the decision that you will have to make.

 

[marshallandcartersmo]

thank you so much for the heartfelt thoughts. I had no idea so many people would respond in such a quick amount of time. I guess I need to have a serious talk with DH about it. He says he can't deal with taking her to the vet (she was his dog before I came into his life), so it will be me doing it. I had never heard of a vet coming to your house.......what a wonderful idea. I'll call my vet and ask if they do that.

again, thank you so much.

 

[Pea-n-Me]

I was in the same situation a year ago. My 13yo German Shepherd had lost the use of his rear legs but was otherwise healthy and happy. Our vet assured us he was not in pain (which confirmed what I knew), but rather "numb" in the rear (he had nerve compression due to spinal arthritis). Most people told us they thought he should be put to sleep, but I didn't feel it was time. Our vet said if we were willing to give him the nursing care he required, then he was in agreement that he still had time. Being a nurse, this was not difficult for me. I helped him outside, and cleaned him if he had accidents. We also got him some "wheels" so he could take daily walks with us once again. People thought we were nuts, but we have no regrets whatsoever. The day finally came where his urine was bright orange and his front arm was swollen and that was when we ultimately knew it was time. The day we put him to sleep I mentioned to the vet what a hard job it must be to do so. She told me that when she sees a dog like Cody who'd had such a great life and been so loved, it wasn't hard.

I've also had to put two of my other dogs to sleep too. One was very sudden, unexpected (a heartbreaker) and the other was an elderly dog with bone cancer. Sometimes it is hard to know when the right time is, but follow your heart and your head, and you will know. Keep us updated.

 

[Pea-n-Me]

I had never heard of a vet coming to your house.......what a wonderful idea.

I would also suggest when the time comes to ask your vet for a sedative for the dog first. Ours actually gave Cody the type of pre-anasthetic they give before surgery (a shot in the muscle) which made it much less traumatic for me and for him. As it was, it took three intravenous injections to actually euthanize him so I was very glad he was already peacefully sleeping. That was the first time I'd ever seen it done that way and I will never do it any other way again.

 

[Wish Upon A Star]

It is a very hard decision. The only animal I had put to sleep was my cat. I knew it had to be done, you just know by looking at them, it's hard to explain. She was getting really bad, not eating, not drinking, just laying on her bed, she had no energy.

The vet said that it was just her time and that I was doing the right thing. I stayed with her the entire time, stroking her . . .what really really got to me was that she was purring . . .right to the end . . .as if to say thanks mom. I'm crying now just re-living it . . .

do what you feel is right.

 

[JESW]

I am so sad reading your post!

We have put 3 cats to sleep and it is never easy. Last November we had to put Allie, our beloved pet of 17 years to sleep. I am also guilty of keeping her alive longer than I should have but she was the hardest to do - we had her (and her sister, who is still alive) longer than we had our kids! She had been sick and failing for so long but there was so much going on in our house and she was my only comfort. I selfishly kept her alive for me. I knew for a while that the time was coming and I kept an eye on her. The night before we did it she was waling the house just howling and could not get comfortable. She was down to only 4 lbs., 4 oz. and I knew I had to be responsible and not let her suffer any more.

I still cry when i think of that day - DH & I just held her and cried and cried and cried. I cried for a steady week - I would go in the shower and just let it all out. My niece had to do the same thing to her elderly cat, but the poor thing had to do it while her DH was in Iraq!

The only thing I can say is that you will know when the time has come.

I am so sorry that you are going through this...

Jill

 

[Snowysmom]

It is a very difficult decision to make. I am finding myself in the same position you are in except that my dog is only 8 and has cancer. Everyone tells me that you know when it is the right time and with my doggie I know it is coming soon. I look at her and cry and know how much I will miss her and I feel guilty that I am not able to be with her when she goes. DH will be with her and I am thankful for that. I hope you can look at your dog and know what the right thing is to do for her. From reading your post it sounds like she is well loved and has had a good life. Sometimes we just need a little help to make the right decision.

 

[simba928]

I am so sorry you and your dog are going throught this.

I went through a similar thing not too long ago. My grandma's dog, Smokey, was like my dog. My parents got her for my grandparents a couple months before I was born, so I had grown up with her and considered her my dog. A few years ago, Smokey had a ceizure. I was home by myself with her and had no clue what was going on or what to do. My grandma got home and she didn't believe me that anything was wrong. Then my grandfather came home and they took Smokey to the vet. She came back and wasn't the same after that. She didn't run, but was able to walk eventually. A few monthes later, Smokey had another ceizure. This time, she stayed at the vets for about a week. When she came home, she couldn't walk. She went to the bathroom in the house on one of those pads. Eventually, she could go outside if we carried her. She had her good days and her bad. Some days she could walk if we supported her and other days she couldn't. Over the next couple years, she got worse. She couldn't stand long enough to eat. She couldn't stand long enough to go outside. She couldn't walk around the living room without resting for a while. Everyone was urging my grandparents to put her to sleep, but they wouldn't do it. About a month ago, Smokey stopped eating. I knew she was really bad when I tried to give her a piece of a cupcake and she wouldn't even sniff it. This was the dog that couldn't wait for you to leave the room so she could steal whatever was on the table, from Playdough to pizza to steak. I sat with her for several hours a day, the entire time I was at my grandma's. Her eyes were pussing and nasty. I had to wipe them every 20 minutes or so. She just wasn't with us. A month ago yesterday, she died. Looking back, I wish my grandparents had done her the kindness to put her to sleep. I hate the fact that I really don't remember her being healthy. I hate that my last memories of her are when she can't even hold her head up. In the end, though, it is up to you to decide whats best for your dog. I know it is a very hard decision, but you have to ignore what you want (the same thing we all want, for our furbabies to live happily, healthy forever) and think about is your doggy in pain and is he enjoying life.

 

[LindaG4458]

DH had a very hard time deciding when his favorite pup had to be put down. She had had cancer when she was three years old and went through a lot then. She had many old dog problems. Every time another one would come along we would just add that treatment to her routine. Finally, when she was almost fourteen, living just seemed to be a burden to her - she never seemed to have any pleasure, it was painful for her to get up or down or walk any distance. He finally decided he'd rather she go in somewhat good condition than waste away. He held her as she went to sleep and has never regretted the decision.

 

[Am_I_There_Yet]

Whew... only made it to the fourth or fifth post and had to give up. I don't have any advice for you, but I can almost put myself in your shoes and the pain is horrible.

I can tell just by reading your post, that you'll do the right thing. You'll be in my thoughts.

 

[marshallandcartersmo]

What thoughtful wonderful people you are to tell me your stories. It so helps to hear other people have been in our situation. DH called our vet and is taking her tomorrow morning to have him look at her. It'll be so hard for him, but Britney loves him the most, and if things do come down to the end, it'll help knowing he's holding her.

I truly can't express how helpful it is to hear your good thoughts. Isn't it silly sometimes how total "strangers" being wonderful, can make you feel so much better.
I'll update tomorrow.

 

[Pea-n-Me]

From www.petloss.com

FROM FRIEND TO FRIEND

You're giving me a special gift,
So sorrowfully endowed,
And through these last few cherished days,
Your courage makes me proud.


But really, love is knowing
When your best friend is in pain,
And understanding earthly acts
Will only be in vain.


So looking deep into your eyes,
Beyond, into your soul,
I see in you the magic, that will
Once more make me whole.


The strength that you possess,
Is why I look to you today,
To do this thing that must be done,
For it's the only way.


That strength is why I've followed you,
And chose you as my friend,
And why I've loved you all these years...
My partner 'til the end.


Please, understand just what this gift,
You're giving, means to me,
It gives me back the strength I've lost,
And all my dignity.


You take a stand on my behalf,
For that is what friends do.
And know that what you do is right,
For I believe it too.


So one last time, I breathe your scent,
And through your hand I feel,
The courage that's within you,
To now grant me this appeal.


Cut the leash that holds me here,
Dear friend, and let me run,
Once more a strong and steady dog,
My pain and struggle done.


And don't despair my passing,
For I won't be far away,
Forever here, within your heart,
And memory I'll stay.


I'll be there watching over you,
Your ever faithful friend,
And in your memories I'll run,
...a young dog once again.


In Memory of Asta, Feb. 1997
(c) Karen Clouston