Early potty training and issues with #2

[*Seanaci*]

Being non computer savy I don't know how to copy specific posts to reply to. One day I might try For those that have asked if she can get on the potty, we keep a little potty in our kitchen/livingroom area. She always wears dressed and can take off underwear by herself. She just pushes her undies down and sits on the potty. Usually if I ask her if she needs to go(which is every 2ish hours if she hasn't gone for that 2 hours) I ask which potty she wants to go on. She always says the big potty so thats where we go. She still can't get on it by herself, but it's no big deal to go in there for a moment or two with her while she goes. I think her biggest problem with #2 is that she wont stay on the toilet for long enough. Yesterday when she went #2 it was moments after getting off the potty (she got on herself.) So im sure it is connecting.
For the posters that say I shouldn't push it, im wondering if you are attributing some of the other posters comments to me? My DD is ALREADY potty trained. She wears underwear all day and night. Once or twice a day I have to change said underwear because of poop, but being that I use cloth diapers, spraying poop out of underwear really isn't that big a deal.
For those that are offering real suggestions, thanks.

To the bolded. With our DS, he was/is on pretty consistent time-wise of when he'd poo. Meaning, we knew/know when he has to poo. So, once we keyed in on that, we'd put him on the potty. For the first few days, he'd sit on the potty and watch his favorite movie or kids show on PBS. It took my mom bribing him (I don't recommend this...but for us it was whatever worked) with $5 to get him to sit on the potty long enough to actually poop in it. And wouldn't ya know, he did. LOL.

I'm super excited that DD is potty trained (aside from the poop side). You're doing what you can...and sticking with it is key!!

Good luck! Hope she starts pooping in the potty for ya soon!!

 

[2girls4me]

My dd,3, is having a hard time with going #2 on the potty as well. She has weeks where she'll go on it every time she has to go. And days she will go in a pull up at night. It's tough, I'll admit. And kids of all ages can be potty trained. I know i was pt at 18 months and lord knows I'm no genius. Don't associate a kids age with an inability to do something.

 

[jodifla]

Most of my friends with girls trained younger, but the boys trained at 3 or 3 1/2.

For us, it really took at 3 1/2, and we were done within a couple of weeks.

 

[imthatgirl]

Time. Thats really all that helps.

But, admittedly I have 3 kids and I never trained any of them. I allowed them all to self train, there for I never dealt with accidents. Since they decided when they were ready not one of them ever wet or soiled themselves.

 

[Leajess99]

Actually yes that is what potty training is. You are teaching your child to use their muscles to hold their waste until they get to a bowel. The problem is that most parents don't want to take the time early on because someone told them it is pointless or a hassle. We allow or kids to pollute the earth with an extra 2 years worth of diapers simply because we are lazy IMHO.

Wow, that is quite rude. My youngest started potty training at a year old (we just introduced the potty and then progressed to sitting on it before bathes, etc) and was daytime trained around 2 BUT unfortunately, you canNOT train a child to control their bladder or bowels. Children that are not potty trained at 1 or even 2 are all because of lazy parents. Kids progress at different rates as does their body growth.

I guess I am just a lazy parent because my youngest was still in pullups at night until she was almost 6 huh??

ETA - Oh and all of my children potty trained at different ages. My oldest (and only boy) wanted to be like the big kids in his preschool class and was completely potty trained just after 2 while my middle one was closer to 3. The middle one also was potty training prior to our move out of state which did cause a setback since she moved away from her grandma as well. They never had nighttime issues like my youngest did and it was NOT due to laziness but due to her small bladder and being a very deep sleeper.

 

[GinnyEmma]

Good points lessjess. My kids, all boys, were "trained" between 2 and 3 1/4. No mess, no accidents, no bribes, no begging. They learned the cultural norm by observation and their own cues. (cloth diapers/training pants) I don't defecate on schedule or command, and I never expected them to either. I have no need to control their bodies.

 

[princessmom29]

Good points lessjess. My kids, all boys, were "trained" between 2 and 3 1/4. No mess, no accidents, no bribes, no begging. They learned the cultural norm by observation and their own cues. (cloth diapers/training pants) I don't defecate on schedule or command, and I never expected them to either. I have no need to control their bodies.

I don't think that everyone who trains early does it out of a need for control. We did it becuase 1. I have seen it does sucesfully over and over in my own family with little mess, accidents, or fuss. There are few random accidents for a while after the initial training, but it was by no means an everyday thing. 2. DD WAS ready. She was asking for wet and soiled diapers to be removed, could tell me she was pooping, and was consistently waking up dry.

Most children here go to preschool at 3 ,and they will not accept a child who is not trained, so I would guess that most moms train between 2 and 3 at some point. It makes me wonder: For those of you not training until after 3, do preschools accept diapers, or do those kids just not go to preschool that year?

 

[imthatgirl]

Most children here go to preschool at 3 ,and they will not accept a child who is not trained, so I would guess that most moms train between 2 and 3 at some point. It makes me wonder: For those of you not training until after 3, do preschools accept diapers, or do those kids just not go to preschool that year?

I allowed my kids to self train and did have one child who didn't train until 3.2yo.
But...I never put any of my kids in preschool at the age of 3. So that was never an issue. I didn't work so there was no need for daycare.

 

[mjkacmom]

I allowed my kids to self train and did have one child who didn't train until 3.2yo.
But...I never put any of my kids in preschool at the age of 3. So that was never an issue. I didn't work so there was no need for daycare.

I don't know if that was a dig against preschool, but as a SAHM, all 5 of mine went to preschool, some of them for 3 years. I don't consider it daycare, especially when I sent kids when I still had kids with me full time all day. I think it's nice if you are financially able to give kids 5 or so hours a week in a playful environment, with other kids their age, while letting mom have some one-on-one time with the younger sibling/siblings.

 

[GinnyEmma]

Lol, I didn't take that post that way. It seemed to just say it is easy to be more relaxed when you don't HAVE to have them "trained" by a certain date.

With many kids that I saw come into the head start program the kids learned quickly from their peers to cosistently use the toilet. We often bent the potty rules if there was no indication the child was developmentally behind. We had about an 80% success rate. but that was 3 year olds or soon to be.

 

[mjkacmom]

Lol, I didn't take that post that way. It seemed to just say it is easy to be more relaxed when you don't HAVE to have them "trained" by a certain date.

With many kids that I saw come into the head start program the kids learned quickly from their peers to cosistently use the toilet. We often bent the potty rules if there was no indication the child was developmentally behind. We had about an 80% success rate. but that was 3 year olds or soon to be.

Lol - around here, the working moms are much more relaxed about it because their non-potty trained children can still go to daycare at 3. However, the SAHM's are the ones fretting, because their 3 year olds have to be trained by 3. My oldest came close (late birthday), but made it. My neighbor, who's ds was the same age, kept telling me to relax, that her older dd trained herself at 2 1/2, all kids train by 3. Well, lo and behold, her ds was not trained by September, and she was like "cr@p - he's missing a year of preschool! Why didn't I train him!"

 

[grafxgirl]

My daughter was totally potty trained at 18 months and my son was totally potty trained at 2 years old. I say just keep doing as you are the best that you can. Don't put her in pull ups because it will just cause her to regress. Don't force her. The thing that helped me with #2 for my kids was their bowel movements were pretty much predictable, the same time each day so I would put them on the potty and ask them to try to make #2. If they did great, if not that was okay too.

 

[grafxgirl]

Originally Posted by amylynne01

I am totally for PTing early (and am now wishing I did it earlier). However, how do your 18 month olds actually get on the toilet without assistance? My 3.5 can barely get on it - she had been using a stool for a long time.

I found a potty chair that had handles on it. My kids would use this and the stool to support themselves as they climbed on the toilet and it would steady them while sitting on the toilet.

 

[princessmom29]

I allowed my kids to self train and did have one child who didn't train until 3.2yo.
But...I never put any of my kids in preschool at the age of 3. So that was never an issue. I didn't work so there was no need for daycare.

Here at least, preschool is NOT daycre. There are two competely seperate things, although both are often offered in the same location. Preschool, is a structured school environment where children are learning letters, numbers, colors, and shapes in K3, and begin pre reading and reading skills in K4. Many children, my DD included, leave K4 reading simple books. Preschool is taught by certified teachers and designed to teach children how to function in a classroom environment before K and help them gain valuble social and academic skills before entering K.

Daycare is childcare, plain and simple. Children need to be potty trained to participate in preschool programs becuase they are NOT licensed childcare facilities, but schools. They don't carry the same liability nor are they subject to the same rules. Most preschools are NOT permitted to change diapers, per health department rules. If they have a special needs student in diapers, they must employ a trained aide to tend to his/her needs.

 

[GinnyEmma]

Lol - around here, the working moms are much more relaxed about it because their non-potty trained children can still go to daycare at 3. However, the SAHM's are the ones fretting, because their 3 year olds have to be trained by 3. My oldest came close (late birthday), but made it. My neighbor, who's ds was the same age, kept telling me to relax, that her older dd trained herself at 2 1/2, all kids train by 3. Well, lo and behold, her ds was not trained by September, and she was like "cr@p - he's missing a year of preschool! Why didn't I train him!"

It is funny how the mommy wars are different in different groups. I know some Sahms who jump into to the potty race. It is beyond me why people need to use their child's potty habits as bragging material.

 

[pwfaith]

An 18 month old is not always physically capable of bowel and sphincter control. It's possible that you are trying to get her to do something she just can't yet. I'd suggest backing off and trying again in a couple months.

ITA. We had one out of our 5 PT early like this and she ended up regressing and having bedwetting issues. Each of our others have been around 3-3.5. I often wonder when I read PT threads, who is the one who's really being trained - mom/dad or child (such as taking them when it's predictable or at specific intervals or asking them if they have to go every 5 min - these to me are examples of the parents being trained, not the child).

American Academy of Pediatrics has some good articles on the issue, no matter where you fall in the "mommy war" aspect of potty training

 

[pwfaith]

Most children here go to preschool at 3 ,and they will not accept a child who is not trained, so I would guess that most moms train between 2 and 3 at some point. It makes me wonder: For those of you not training until after 3, do preschools accept diapers, or do those kids just not go to preschool that year?

It was different for each of mine. It's kinda funny, my oldest is 10 now and I honestly can hardly remember how or when she potty trained. In the grand scheme, 5-10 years from now, none of this will even matter.

I'm trying to remember...my oldest was PT around 3 yrs old. My husband deployed that year and we moved in with my parents. Their church had a preschool so I sent our her and our 2nd (who was 2 - not PT) They accepted the 2 yr olds who weren't. Not sure about 3 yr old, since she was, I didn't have to worry about it. We moved to PA when he returned. Oldest was about to turn 4 and went to the 3 yr old preschool class. Our 2nd turned 3 in March and was PT before she started preschool in Sept.

#3 did not go to a 3 yr old preschool class, only went to 4 yr old one and had PT when he was 3 1/4.

#4 did not go to preschool at all and will go to Kindergarten this fall. We did preschool at home. Finances prevented them from going. We happened to get a scholarship with #3, which is why he was able to go. #4 is more than prepared for kindergarten though. Meets all their requirements and more.

#5 will not be going to preschool this year. She turned 3 in March and PT about 2 weeks ago, pretty much on her own.

Looking back it seems they all just kinda PT on their own right before preschool started (well at least for those who went) worked out that way with the way their birthdays fell and the cut off for preschool allowed them to come. I'm a SAHM and I don't stress about it. BTDT lol stressing about it didn't help. I encourage, and we talk about it but I don't push it or try to "teach" them to go. If they tell me they have to go, we go sit, it if happens, it happens. If it doesn't, it will eventually.

 

[Momof2princess']

DD had a breakthrough today! She went #2 on the potty all by herself! Her BM's are not regular so I can't get her to the potty on time. Plus I don't like the idea of having a child sit for 5 minutes while they try to go. I think it creates more pressure and can make potty training less about them and more about training mom.
I sure hope DD goes #2 on the potty again tomorrow! But if not, thats ok, eventually she will get it!

 

[brymolmom]

I want to start PT soon but this is one of the main questions I have. Op~ Sorry for the hijack

I wouldn't worry about whether or not they can go unassisted at this point...Think of it this way - grabbing a kid and giving them a lift onto a toilet takes a lot less time than actually changing a diaper - LOL.

My dd trained right at 2 years old....I am a huge believer in training early and it being easier in many cases. Once they're older many that I know (including my own ds) develop a control issue with it.

And for OP - I would go with the bribe at this point. Bring home a toy catalog - have her choose something and make a chart - every time she goes poop on the potty she gets another sticker on the chart - once the chart is filled - she earns her reward!

 

[princessmom29]

DD had a breakthrough today! She went #2 on the potty all by herself! Her BM's are not regular so I can't get her to the potty on time. Plus I don't like the idea of having a child sit for 5 minutes while they try to go. I think it creates more pressure and can make potty training less about them and more about training mom.
I sure hope DD goes #2 on the potty again tomorrow! But if not, thats ok, eventually she will get it!

GREAT JOB!!! Keep it up!