- Joined
- Apr 21, 2025
- Messages
- 1,995
Your situation sounds more difficult than mine, but I'll just share my thoughts and perspective.
My mom died last year - actually, just after I made my first DVC purchase. I didn't share it on here at the time, but it was actually a somewhat bonding thing for me and my younger sister. My mom was on life support for about a week, and we had to spend some long drives going to visit her in the ICU and instead of dwelling on what was the inevitable, we were able to talk DVC and Disney. But, I bought DVC knowing my mom was in a nursing home at the time (although her death was somewhat sudden and unexpected), and knowing that I was the only one of six siblings who lived near her - no one else was even remotely close should I need to be there for something.
My dad is 83 with a pacemaker. He is still pretty independent and lives on his own, but near my sister and a 2 hour flight (10 hour drive) away from me. He is mentally very sharp, but he has always struggled with his weight - he's about 6 feet tall, but also weighs over 300 pounds. I think he has even surprised himself to live this long. He has outlived a lot of his friends and family despite not taking care of himself physically. There is nothing to indicate he will die anytime soon, but at his age, weight, and heart condition, it is something that always lives in the back of my mind - he could deteriorate or leave us without a lot of notice. That said, my sister lives 15 minutes from him and would be the first one to have to be called into action, but it is always possible I would have to cancel a trip last minute.
And, my perspective with DVC amidst all of this? Plan away and use my points without worrying about it at all. Enjoy life, enjoy Disney, and if the inevitable happens, it happens. I'll deal with it when it happens. If I lose the points, I lose them. Life is too short and my kids are too young to not create memories and enjoy life.
One other thought I will add. My mom also did not plan for her old age. She did have some psychological issues that put her in assisted living much earlier than it should have. But, she effectively became what I'll call a warden of the state. She had no assets and her only income was a small amount of social security. Me and my siblings have significant amounts of income and assets and could have stepped in to pay for things of her, but the way the system is set up with a parent who is eligible for all sorts of government benefits, it is almost impossible to do that because you will instantly disqualify them from government benefits and you will paying for much, much more than just, say, a nicer assisted living facility.
On thing I learned with a lot of that is that, I sort of had to let the system take care of her. When she got admitted to the hospital, I needed to let the hospital and the social workers figure out where she went when she left the hospital. I had to let the assisted living facilities and nursing homes make evaluations of her and whether she could stay. They cannot put her out on the street . . . but, if I had stepped in and taken her home from the hospital, then she would have left the system, and it would have instantly required a gargantuan amount of time and involvement from me and/or my siblings.
My sister has a mother-in-law who is in a similar situation - still living on her own, but no assets and little income. Last year, she had some health scares, and I advised my sister at the time - do not prematurely take her home form the hospital or the rehab facility she went to afterwards. If you don't think she is ready to come home and live on her own, do not volunteer to take her home. Make the hospital and the rehab facility figure out what to do with her - they will be all too happy for you to take her home before she is ready and have you care for her instead. Thankfully, she fully recovered and is now living back on her own.
My dad is in a different boat because he does have some modest assets, and he does not want a nursing home taking those from him if at all possible (wouldn't matter to me or my siblings), so we would probably try to honor some of requests if possible. But, if the time came to put him in a nursing home, that's what we would have to do.
Alright, I've posted too much. Hopefully there is something in there that is helpful. I know this stuff can be really hard.
My mom died last year - actually, just after I made my first DVC purchase. I didn't share it on here at the time, but it was actually a somewhat bonding thing for me and my younger sister. My mom was on life support for about a week, and we had to spend some long drives going to visit her in the ICU and instead of dwelling on what was the inevitable, we were able to talk DVC and Disney. But, I bought DVC knowing my mom was in a nursing home at the time (although her death was somewhat sudden and unexpected), and knowing that I was the only one of six siblings who lived near her - no one else was even remotely close should I need to be there for something.
My dad is 83 with a pacemaker. He is still pretty independent and lives on his own, but near my sister and a 2 hour flight (10 hour drive) away from me. He is mentally very sharp, but he has always struggled with his weight - he's about 6 feet tall, but also weighs over 300 pounds. I think he has even surprised himself to live this long. He has outlived a lot of his friends and family despite not taking care of himself physically. There is nothing to indicate he will die anytime soon, but at his age, weight, and heart condition, it is something that always lives in the back of my mind - he could deteriorate or leave us without a lot of notice. That said, my sister lives 15 minutes from him and would be the first one to have to be called into action, but it is always possible I would have to cancel a trip last minute.
And, my perspective with DVC amidst all of this? Plan away and use my points without worrying about it at all. Enjoy life, enjoy Disney, and if the inevitable happens, it happens. I'll deal with it when it happens. If I lose the points, I lose them. Life is too short and my kids are too young to not create memories and enjoy life.
One other thought I will add. My mom also did not plan for her old age. She did have some psychological issues that put her in assisted living much earlier than it should have. But, she effectively became what I'll call a warden of the state. She had no assets and her only income was a small amount of social security. Me and my siblings have significant amounts of income and assets and could have stepped in to pay for things of her, but the way the system is set up with a parent who is eligible for all sorts of government benefits, it is almost impossible to do that because you will instantly disqualify them from government benefits and you will paying for much, much more than just, say, a nicer assisted living facility.
On thing I learned with a lot of that is that, I sort of had to let the system take care of her. When she got admitted to the hospital, I needed to let the hospital and the social workers figure out where she went when she left the hospital. I had to let the assisted living facilities and nursing homes make evaluations of her and whether she could stay. They cannot put her out on the street . . . but, if I had stepped in and taken her home from the hospital, then she would have left the system, and it would have instantly required a gargantuan amount of time and involvement from me and/or my siblings.
My sister has a mother-in-law who is in a similar situation - still living on her own, but no assets and little income. Last year, she had some health scares, and I advised my sister at the time - do not prematurely take her home form the hospital or the rehab facility she went to afterwards. If you don't think she is ready to come home and live on her own, do not volunteer to take her home. Make the hospital and the rehab facility figure out what to do with her - they will be all too happy for you to take her home before she is ready and have you care for her instead. Thankfully, she fully recovered and is now living back on her own.
My dad is in a different boat because he does have some modest assets, and he does not want a nursing home taking those from him if at all possible (wouldn't matter to me or my siblings), so we would probably try to honor some of requests if possible. But, if the time came to put him in a nursing home, that's what we would have to do.
Alright, I've posted too much. Hopefully there is something in there that is helpful. I know this stuff can be really hard.
