DVC planning when life is uncertain

[Moneypenny]

I acknowledge that I'm making public my deficiencies as a daughter and human being, but it occurs to me that a portion of the DVC demographic may find themselves in situations similar to this so I'm posing this question to the group.

My husband and I are currently a couple of years into what is likely a multi-year situation in which we have aging parents in various degrees of...I don't even know...degrees of dying probably best sums it up. Both sets of parents live a multi-hour drive away from us and have chosen to forego many services/options for care, instead assuming they will never experience any kind of crisis, or if they do, I will apparently be responsible for and able to magically fix any such crisis.

We were one day into a DVC trip last September when my step-father died. (He was not healthy, but not near death as far as anyone knew.) We flew home the next day, DVC kindly put the unused points in holding for us, and we were able to swap those into an upcoming reservation we had for January.

Now one of my parents is probably going to die of cancer in the coming weeks? months? who knows? The man has been near death more than once in the last two years and keeps rallying, but he seems to now be in that last, slow, wasting away phase of a Cancer Death. We have a vacation scheduled in May and have just a couple of days to cancel without the points going into holding. We don't have any guarantee of being able to use any holding points since our next upcoming reservation is on our other membership (we have two Use Years) and my understanding is that Member Services can't swap points across memberships.

Do you have a strategy when you're in this phase of life?

The safe bet is to cancel and have the option to bank the points for later use. That said, I feel like I'll have some potential parental crisis hanging over my head for the next several years, or will be dealing with estates and whatnot, and end up with a lot of untaken vacations and unused points if we make the safe choice each time.

Another option is to roll the dice and keep vacations on the books after the cancellation deadline and just deal with the consequences if we have to cancel, knowing we may lose out on a lot of points.

I feel like whatever option we choose will be the "wrong" one somehow. And, darnit, I want to go on vacation and plan vacation and look forward to vacation... and DH and I are both healthy and physcially fit right now, able to get away from work for vacations, our daughter is nearly launched into adulthood...this next stretch of time is our perfect vacation window.

Thoughts? Experiences? My husband and I are tired of talking with each other about this trying to decide - not just what to do for this next vacation, but what should our thought process be around this for the next several years so I'd appreciate other perspectives.

(And yes, many of you will have different family dynamics such that there is no question here for you, as you have no doubt that you will either be there for your family no matter what, or you will not and you won't agonize over it. I am not in either of those places.)

 

[disneydreamer1980]

I feel for you and I’m sorry you’re dealing with this. My parents are both in decline and my MIL has advanced cancer so we’re facing similar issues. I’d keep the trip and if something happens and you can’t go, maybe you could rent the reservation via a third party site (so there’s not much for you to do) to try and recoup something.

 

[muppets3d]

Personally I plan and go on vacations as normal. As life happens, I deal with it. Yes you may lose some points if something happens during or shortly before a booked trip. But you will also get to go on vacations that you would have cancelled or never booked if you put your life on pause instead.

One thing you can look into is renting reservations. I have had to do this before. I had a reservation that was too late to cancel without holding (and I couldn't use the holding points) so I put it up as a confirmed reservation with a broker. It rented within a few days. I got some income, I didn't lose points, it all worked out.

 

[Brian Noble]

I am not quite in that stage of life yet, but not too far off. I'm not imagining myself being the Crisis Fixer In All Cases, but I also am not estranged from my parents and other elders.

Do you have a strategy when you're in this phase of life?

I like this one:

Another option is to roll the dice and keep vacations on the books after the cancellation deadline and just deal with the consequences if we have to cancel, knowing we may lose out on a lot of points.

If I lose some assets because I have to cancel a trip or cut it short, that's just life. If points go into holding---or I lose them entirely---it is not a big deal in the grand scheme of things. Yes, those points were worth real money, but money is not the most important thing.

Not by a longshot.

If a crisis comes up, and I can get there in time to be helpful, I'll do that, last-minute air changes and lost points be damned. But I don't think anyone needs to organize their entire lives around "what happens if," and I don't plan to do that.

 

[Mommb]

This is a rough situation. Given that something could happen, or not, at any time, I would keep with your plans so that you have the possibility of having a good vacation. It sounds as if there's not much you can do for your family, if they have resisted your ideas for setting up services and care. So all you can do is wait for a phone call, and you can do that from WDW as well as from home.

One aspect I haven't seen mentioned yet is purchasing travel insurance from DVC: https://disneyvacationclub.disney.go.com/vacation-planning/travel-insurance. I have not looked closely at the details but trip insurance typically does cover cancellations or interruptions due to death or serious illness of a family member.

I hope you are able to enjoy a relaxing trip.

 

[Genie+]

Maybe look into trip insurance?

Many policies cover a year of travel.

I normally don’t buy it but I looked of the cost of covering DH and I and it was ~$1k for a year.

https://www.allianztravelinsurance.com/

^ You can get a quick immediate quote. Just put in start date, age of travelers and State of residence.

 

[Willow Ufgood]

My husband and I are now orphaned. We lost my dad and 5 years later we lost my mom and both of his parents. During that time we chose not to go abroad out of fear that we would get "that phone call". But we did travel domestically during that time, some of it even to WDW. Our lives were on hold that last year due to their advancing age and progressive illnesses.

The most I can offer is to ask yourself how you would feel if you went on your trip but had to cut it short because of your parents. Is having points in holding really the worst thing that could happen in the great scheme of things? Other than that last gut-wrenching year with our parents, we chose to go on our vacations.

 

[Brian Noble]

I usually self-insure. I figure that, in the long run, I should come out ahead by just paying for a few extras out of pocket than to insure every trip. The exceptions are cruises or package travel if i am paying for my adult kids and their partners as well, because that gets comfortably into five figures at risk.

If i had a parent with a terminal diagnosis, I might reconsider that. However, a good friend of mine moved to Michigan over ten years ago to care for his mom, who was given less than a year to live. His plan was to move back to New York after closing out her affairs.

He still lives here.

 

[Travel60]

We went through that a few years back DH has extended family for which he was the only son/grandson/nephew. I had only my mom (Dad died young). None of them lived near us or anywhere we usually travel.

We traveled as usual however, after one "untimely" death, I started including a black dress & shoes in my suitcase wherever we went. I could pivot on a dime without having to go back home.

That said, nothing says you have to be there quickly. They are gone, they won't know. You can handle arrangements by phone (assuming they've made none) and plan the funeral for the next week... Or month.

 

[Moneypenny]

Thank you, everyone, for your kindness. I appreciate it. Our guts have been telling us to keep our plans, which feels selfish (but do I care if I'm selfish sometimes?), and then we second guess ourselves.

I hadn't even considered trying to rent the reservation if we have to cancel within 30 days (or if we're too close to the date to feasibly get a renter, I could try to rent the points in holding). Really all we'd lose is the points as airfare and bus transportation are refundable right up until the trip, and we an "afford" to lose the points. The Point Miser in me would feel like we're wasting the points, but I'd get over that.

We did get "that call" when my step-father died last year, and I'll say that DVC, Southwest, Mears, and Owner's Locker were all great to work with. It was good advice to think that through if it happens with my dad and I will not be heartbroken. I will be sad and get home to be with my brother and step-mom, but taking potential travel out of the picture, I have no plans to rearrange my life to ensure I can be at his bedside when he dies. If he happens to enter hospice or be given the "it'll be any day now" pronouncement shortly before the trip, we won't go.

I'll look into insurance (we never get it so that also hadn't occured to me) but it is just the points we'd lose so it probably wouldn't be worth it. (On a related note, we would like to get to Hawaii in the next couple of years and may consider insurance for that as it would include our kid and her partner, and while my dad will be gone, my mom will likely still be around).

That's also a practical point about packing for a potential funeral - I could fly from Florida right to my dad's location rather than to my home and then driving to him.

Thank you again for your thoughtful responses and helpful suggestions!

 

[muppets3d]

Make sure you read and understand what your trip insurance covers, especially with regards to timeshare travel.

 

[cruisehopeful]

I understand that difficult time to navigate. I think there are a few options you can consider.

1.) Make your plans and be committed to them no matter what happens while you are away.
2.) Take a wait and see approach where you only book things last minute because you think you're safe to travel at that time.
3.) Decide to forgo travel for a couple years and rent out your points.
4.) Do #1, but when it gets closer to your vacation if it seems like a very risky time to travel, rent that reservation out.

I'm sure there are more options that I am not thinking of right now. Maybe make a list and see which makes you feel most comfortable. There's really no harm in renting your points for a few years and using that money towards last minute close to home trips instead. Vacations shouldn't cause you too much stress/worry. Figure out what makes you feel most peaceful and just go with that.

 

[gottalovepluto]

Thank you, everyone, for your kindness. I appreciate it. Our guts have been telling us to keep our plans, which feels selfish (but do I care if I'm selfish sometimes?), and then we second guess ourselves. ..

I had a dear friend who put her travel life on hold for years waiting for "that call" for her very ill father who lived a couple hours away. Bless his soul he held on for like 4 more years than anyone thought possible. But putting her travel life on hold did her no favors- it left her without a stress outlet during those years plus regrets later in life on what she missed out on. You've got a plan if the worst happens when traveling, tell the guilt go jump in the nearest lake.

 

[Moneypenny]

I understand that difficult time to navigate. I think there are a few options you can consider.

1.) Make your plans and be committed to them no matter what happens while you are away.
2.) Take a wait and see approach where you only book things last minute because you think you're safe to travel at that time.
3.) Decide to forgo travel for a couple years and rent out your points.
4.) Do #1, but when it gets closer to your vacation if it seems like a very risky time to travel, rent that reservation out.

I think we're settling on #4.

I had a dear friend who put her travel life on hold for years waiting for "that call" for her very ill father who lived a couple hours away. Bless his soul he held on for like 4 more years than anyone thought possible. But putting her travel life on hold did her no favors- it left her without a stress outlet during those years plus regrets later in life on what she missed out on. You've got a plan if the worst happens when traveling, tell the guilt go jump in the nearest lake.

That really resonated with me. It's honestly been a sh*tty couple of years for many reasons (life, work, the world in general, etc). One of the very few bright spots has been our family and couple-only trips to WDW and it kills me a little inside to think of canceling one "just in case". We can deal with logistics and I can handle my feelings if something happens while I'm gone. (Now, my relatives' judgement of me isn't something I can "fix" and, honestly, the amount of judgement is not insignificant, but I get judged no matter what I do or don't do so I need to let that go.)

 

[KPeterso]

I could have written your post. I am definitely in this phase of life and I am an only child so this all comes to me. I have one parent in a board and care facility and the other living with me. I have cancelled 2 trips so far and had a staycation badly interrupted since July of last year. I need a vacation. I am hoping to staycation a few nights at Disneyland in May and July. And to actually get to take the vacation in September to WDW. But unless, one or both pass away, I think I am looking at potentially another September cancellation. The staycations are so close to home I can still run back to the one in the board and care easily if needed and the other will have to come with me.

 

[DebbieB]

I originally bought DVC as a place to stay with my mom twice a year - Mothers Day and Early December. Right after I bought in fall of 1999, she had a reoccurrence of breast cancer and it didn’t look good. She was on various types of chemo as time passed. I was always worried about scheduling. I had an April use year so that worked with my banking deadline and our trip dates, I never wanted to borrow in fear that they would be stuck. Back then renting wasn’t common. I sometimes added cash nights to trips so I wouldn’t have to borrow. She passed in September 2005. I did have a trip booked for late November I was able to cancel and bank. Since then I’ve been doing stays with friends.

 

[emilymad]

We have also been dealing with this. My FIL passed a year ago and my now estranged parents I don't think will be amendable to get help if they need it for health reasons. At the current point of time, I am feel that I have to prioritize my wellbeing which does include travel to some extent. Even when my FIL died there wasn't anything immediately we could do about it and DH is an only child. I saw my parents waste decades choosing to not do what they wanted to do in life in order to take care of my grandparents. It is not a path that I want to follow.

What if you rented your points out but booked cash stays that would give you a week cancellation policy instead? Maybe not the most cost effective but would give you the most flexibility during these uncertain years.

 

[Moneypenny]

I'm sorry so many of you have found yourself in a similar situation, but I appreciate the commiseration!

What if you rented your points out but booked cash stays that would give you a week cancellation policy instead? Maybe not the most cost effective but would give you the most flexibility during these uncertain years.

Funny you mention that! I actually spent some time this morning looking at cash stays, but there's no availability for our time frame in May. We also travel in September, though (and January, but with our kid and her partner so like a 2 bedroom) so this is something for me to keep in mind. One hurdle I'd have to overcome is our love for 1 bedrooms...the kitchen, laundry and balcony make our stays more enjoyable.