Dumb Blonde Jokes

[dIsNeYwOrLdGiRl7]

Post all your dumb blonde jokes here

i'll do a couple

She was so0o0o0o0o0o0o0 blonde...
1. She thought General Motors was in the army
2. She thought Taco Bell was a mexican phone company
3. She told me to meet her at the corner of Walk and Don't Walk
4. She spent 20 minutes looking at her orange juice because it said 'Concentrate'

ok now ya'll say some(i need to stop telling dumb blonde jokes considering i am blonde)

 

[polysisterchick]

oh i love dumb blonde jokes (even though i have blonde in my hair)
some of my favorites:

1) everywhere she touches it hurts and the doctor tells her that her finger is broken
2) a brunette is jumping on train tracks saying 21 21 21 21 over and over. A blonde comes by and decides that it looks fun. She joins in. and when a train comes the brunette jumps off. The blond doesn't. So when the train passes she resumes jumping on the tracks but say 22 22 22 22

and many many more

 

[DollfieDreams]

*whine* im blonde!! lol but those are funny ^_^

 

[yoyo93]

*whine* im blonde!! lol but those are funny ^_^

you took the words right out of my mouth........ sort of

 

[beachbaby91]

Long post. These are good blonde ones.

A blonde tried to sell her old car. She was having a lot of problems selling it, because the car had 250,000 miles on it. One day, she told her problem to a brunette she worked with at a salon. The brunette told her, "There is a possibility to make the car easier to sell, but it's not legal." "That doesn't matter," replied the blonde, "if I only can sell the car." "Okay," said the brunette. "Here is the address of a friend of mine. He owns a car repair shop. Tell him I sent you and he will turn the counter in your car back to 50,000 miles. Then it should not be a problem to sell your car." The following weekend, the blonde made the trip to the mechanic. About one month after that, the brunette asked the blonde, "Did you sell your car?" "No," replied the blonde, "why should I? It only has 50,000 miles on it."
--------------------------
A blond was driving down the highway to DisneyWorld when he saw a sign that said "DISNEYWORLD LEFT." After thinking for a minute, he said to himself, "oh well!" and turned around and drove home. On his way home, the same blond drove past another sign that said "CLEAN RESTROOMS EIGHT MILES." By the time he drove eight miles, he had cleaned 43 restrooms.
---------------------------
There was a blonde who was sick of all the blonde jokes. One day, she decided to get a make over, so she cut and dyed her hair. She went driving down a country road and came across a herd of sheep. She stopped and called the sheep herder over.
"Tell you what. I have a proposition for you," said the woman.
"If I can guess the exact number of sheep in your flock, can I take one home?" "Sure," said the sheep herder. So, she sat up and looked at the herd for a second and then replied "382." "Wow." Said the herder. "That is exactly right. Go ahead and pick out the sheep you want to take home." So the woman went and picked ne out and put it in her car. Then, the herder said, "Okay, now I have a proposition for you." "What is it?" queried the woman.
"If I can guess the real color of your hair, can I have my dog back?"
----------------------------
A blonde decides to try horseback riding, even though she has had no lessons or prior experience. She mounts the horse unassisted and the horse immediately springs into motion. It gallops along at a steady and rhythmic pace, but the blonde begins to slip from the saddle. In terror, she grabs for the horse's mane, but cannot seem to get a firm grip. She tries to throw her arms around the horse's neck, but she slides down the side of the horse anyway. The horse gallops along, seemingly impervious to its slipping rider. Finally, giving up her frail grip, she leaps away from the horse to try and throw herself to safety.
Unfortunately, her foot has become entangled in the stirrup and she is now at the mercy of the horse's pounding hooves as her head is struck against the ground again and again. As her head is battered against the ground, she is mere moments away from unconsciousness when...the Wal-Mart manager runs out and shuts the horse off.
---------------------------
A blonde goes into an appliance store looking for a tv. After
a few minutes, she picks one out and approaches the salesman. "I want to buy this television," she says. The salesman replies, "Sorry, we don't serve blondes here." She gets mad, leaves and goes home. She dyes her hair brown and returns to the store. "I want to buy this television." she says to the salesman, getting the same response; "Sorry miss, we don't serve blondes here." She leaves again, frustrated. She goes home and proceeds to shave her head, eyebrows and all, leaving no visible trace of blonde hair on her head. Upon returning to the store, she once again approaches the salesman. "Sir, I would like to purchase this television, and I don't want any problems." To which the salesman replies, "Sorry Miss, we don't serve blondes." Fed up with this, she cries, "How can you tell that I am blonde? I have dyed my hair and even resorted to shaving my head!" To which the salesman replied, "Well, Miss, that television you are trying to buy is a microwave!"

 

[Tink3rb3ll]

Long post. These are good blonde ones.

A blonde tried to sell her old car. She was having a lot of problems selling it, because the car had 250,000 miles on it. One day, she told her problem to a brunette she worked with at a salon. The brunette told her, "There is a possibility to make the car easier to sell, but it's not legal." "That doesn't matter," replied the blonde, "if I only can sell the car." "Okay," said the brunette. "Here is the address of a friend of mine. He owns a car repair shop. Tell him I sent you and he will turn the counter in your car back to 50,000 miles. Then it should not be a problem to sell your car." The following weekend, the blonde made the trip to the mechanic. About one month after that, the brunette asked the blonde, "Did you sell your car?" "No," replied the blonde, "why should I? It only has 50,000 miles on it."
--------------------------
A blond was driving down the highway to DisneyWorld when he saw a sign that said "DISNEYWORLD LEFT." After thinking for a minute, he said to himself, "oh well!" and turned around and drove home. On his way home, the same blond drove past another sign that said "CLEAN RESTROOMS EIGHT MILES." By the time he drove eight miles, he had cleaned 43 restrooms.
---------------------------
There was a blonde who was sick of all the blonde jokes. One day, she decided to get a make over, so she cut and dyed her hair. She went driving down a country road and came across a herd of sheep. She stopped and called the sheep herder over.
"Tell you what. I have a proposition for you," said the woman.
"If I can guess the exact number of sheep in your flock, can I take one home?" "Sure," said the sheep herder. So, she sat up and looked at the herd for a second and then replied "382." "Wow." Said the herder. "That is exactly right. Go ahead and pick out the sheep you want to take home." So the woman went and picked ne out and put it in her car. Then, the herder said, "Okay, now I have a proposition for you." "What is it?" queried the woman.
"If I can guess the real color of your hair, can I have my dog back?"
----------------------------
A blonde decides to try horseback riding, even though she has had no lessons or prior experience. She mounts the horse unassisted and the horse immediately springs into motion. It gallops along at a steady and rhythmic pace, but the blonde begins to slip from the saddle. In terror, she grabs for the horse's mane, but cannot seem to get a firm grip. She tries to throw her arms around the horse's neck, but she slides down the side of the horse anyway. The horse gallops along, seemingly impervious to its slipping rider. Finally, giving up her frail grip, she leaps away from the horse to try and throw herself to safety.
Unfortunately, her foot has become entangled in the stirrup and she is now at the mercy of the horse's pounding hooves as her head is struck against the ground again and again. As her head is battered against the ground, she is mere moments away from unconsciousness when...the Wal-Mart manager runs out and shuts the horse off.
---------------------------
A blonde goes into an appliance store looking for a tv. After
a few minutes, she picks one out and approaches the salesman. "I want to buy this television," she says. The salesman replies, "Sorry, we don't serve blondes here." She gets mad, leaves and goes home. She dyes her hair brown and returns to the store. "I want to buy this television." she says to the salesman, getting the same response; "Sorry miss, we don't serve blondes here." She leaves again, frustrated. She goes home and proceeds to shave her head, eyebrows and all, leaving no visible trace of blonde hair on her head. Upon returning to the store, she once again approaches the salesman. "Sir, I would like to purchase this television, and I don't want any problems." To which the salesman replies, "Sorry Miss, we don't serve blondes." Fed up with this, she cries, "How can you tell that I am blonde? I have dyed my hair and even resorted to shaving my head!" To which the salesman replied, "Well, Miss, that television you are trying to buy is a microwave!"

Those are great ^^

 

[TiggWDW]

Okay--
This professor wants to prove that blondes are actually smart. He gathers a big group of blondes and chooses one out to ask her a few questions. "What is 7 times 8?" "58" The other blondes say "Oh, give her another chance!" "Okay," replied the professor. "What is 6 times 4?" "23" The blondes again respond, "Oh give her another chance!" "Okay, one last time. What is 2 plus 2?" She responds "...4?" The other blondes respond again, "oh give her another chance!"

 

[pansQT]

Q: how do you kill a blonde?

A: put a scratch and sniff sticker on the bottom of a pool...






Q: what did the blonde say when she opened the cheerios box?

A: OOH!! donut seeds!





Q: why did they throw the blonde out of the m&m factory?

A: she threw out all of the W's

 

[sparrow_of_tortuga]

A blonde, a brunette, and a red-head go on a road trip. It starts to rain and they get lost. They pull up at this huge mansion and get out to ask for directions. An old hunched man answers the door. "Can I help you?" he asks.
They timidly repeat their tale. He welcomes them in and prepares a lavish feast. He also offers them lodging for the night. They accept. His only stipulation is that they not go in the room at the end of the hall. They agree to this as well. They get ready for bed and sit there talking for a few minutes. Finally the red-head announces that she can't stand it anymore, she's going to see what's in that room. At that moment the old man comes in and reveals to them what's in the room. "It's a magical mirror. If you speak the truth it will give you your heart's desire, but if you lie you'll be sucked into the void of the mirror forever." So the brave red-head decides to go in. She walks up to the mirror and looks into it. "Not only do I think I'm the smartest of the group, I think I'm the most beautiful as well," she says. Instantly money comes pouring out of the ceiling. She brings back as much as she can carry to the room. The brunette sees the red-heads good fortune and decides she can do the same. She walks in and looks into the mirror. "Not only do I think I'm the smartest of the group, I think I'm the most beautiful," the brunette says. Beautiful new clothes appear in the room. She carries them back to the room. After seeing what the other two have gotten, the blonde decides to try. She walks into the room and looks into the mirror. "Not only do I think............", and the blonde was sucked into the void of the mirror forever.

 

[ktbutterfly2011]

There were a blond a brunette and a red head. The Brunette could walk across the football feild in marching band playing an Eb scale fine. The Redhead could do the same. But leave it up to the blond while walking across the feild to trip over the white line and knock all of them down

 

[Disneyrsh]

Okay, I'll post my favorite one...

What do you do when a blond terrorist throws a grenade at you?

Pull the pin and throw it back.

 

[Stanthecaddy]

So a smart blonde, Santa Claus, and a brunette are walking down the street and see a 100 dollar bill laying on the ground.

Who picks the money up?

The brunette, because Santa Claus and a smart blonde dont exist.

 

[petey's sweetie]

hahahaha..... ya kno i am actually a blonde. j/k those are relly funny tho>>>

 

[pansQT]

wow! just earlier this morning i was remembering some blonde jokes that my friend told me in the middle of the year and a couple of them are on here! i didn't even read them when i posted my jokes! that's kinda cool!

 

[madmouse91]

just got a lot of blond jokes on hotmail.....

i knew a blonde that was so stupid that.......

she called me to get my phone number.

she spent 20 minutes looking at the orange juice box because it said "concentrate."

she put lipstick on her forehead because she wanted to make up her mind.

she tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order.

she sent me a fax with a stamp on it.

she tried to drown a fish.

she thought a quarterback was a refund.

she got locked in a grocery store and starved to death.

she tripped over a cordless phone.

she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept.

she asked for a price check at the Dollar Store.

she studied for a blood test.

she thought Meow Mix was a CD for cats.

when she heard that 90% of all crimes occur around the home,

she moved.

when she missed the 44 bus, she took the 22 bus twice instead.

when she took you to the airport and saw a sign that said "Airport Left" she turned around and went home.

 

[Indi-Emma-Jones]

I'm blond too but I think they're funny.

A blond and a brunette were falling down a cliff. Who hits the ground first? The brunette because the blond stops to ask for directions.

 

[goofyandplutoluver]

So a smart blonde, Santa Claus, and a brunette are walking down the street and see a 100 dollar bill laying on the ground.

Who picks the money up?

The brunette, because Santa Claus and a smart blonde dont exist.

i love that one

 

[madmouse91]

I'm blond too but I think they're funny.

A blond and a brunette were falling down a cliff. Who hits the ground first? The brunette because the blond stops to ask for directions.

i know one like that

a blond and a brunette were at the top of a cliff. Who hits the ground first? The blond cuz the brunette wasnt stupid enough to jump.

 

[HilaryDuff9008]

Hey guys and girls I kind of think talking and making mean jokes about blonds is rude I know a blode and she is very smart..........................HD9008

 

[ktbutterfly2011]

I disagree im a smart blond yet i still enjoy these jokes