Duggars make 17!

I say this on every Duggar thread, so sorry if it is redundant:

What bothers me is that this is news and the way they are glorified. There is nothing great about having child after child. Now if they had adopted a few of a few hard to place children, then I would find them admirable. But just reproducing yourself like an animal does not impress me. JMHO.

YES, YES, YES!!!
 
Agreed. Shall we all meet back here in twenty years to see if any of the girls made it to college and pursued microbiology or physics or engineering? I hope so, but I doubt it will happen.

More subtle criticism to the stay at home moms. If the girls ended up not going to college or pursuing microbiology or physics or engineering and instead decided to marry and have a family, would that be bad? If that is what they wanted to do? I see so many mothers and fathers pushing their children into the things THEY want them to do (i.e. ballet, football, cheerleading) - don't get me started with the stage moms, my goodness! They are certainly pushing their ideals on their children. If this mom tries to teach her girls that there is nothing wrong with raising your children as your "job", how is that any different? We all push our children in ways that we think they should be pushed. I ask you, who wants your children to succeed more than you? Is raising a family become so looked down upon, that you can't even allow your daughters to value it? It has to be an afterthought? Our priorities have become a little warped. Why does there have to be such a stigma with it? As if they haven't done enough with their lives if they don't become scientists or engineers? People like to "say" their children are the #1 priority, but if these girls do nothing else with their lives other than marry and have children of their own, they will be looked down upon and criticized for that. I tell my children, everyday, that my #1 priority is and always will be them. I teach my children that they can grow up to do anything they want if they apply themselves and work hard and that having a family is hard work and requires a lot of dedication too and it will be the most important thing they do with their lives. We can't keep cheapening what the stay-at-home moms do and those who want to do it in the future - it is a hard job and one that requires much more value than it is given!
 
I say this on every Duggar thread, so sorry if it is redundant:

What bothers me is that this is news and the way they are glorified. There is nothing great about having child after child. Now if they had adopted a few of a few hard to place children, then I would find them admirable. But just reproducing yourself like an animal does not impress me. JMHO.

I totally agree with this.

Also, no one knows how they really live. What we see on tv is through editing and for entertainment. It is probably only a fraction of the truth. Unless anyone on here knows them personally, no one can say for sure how they really live or function. I for one do not like the extra tax breaks that they receive and don't agree with having child after child, from a health standpoint. Other than that, I could care less.
 
No, I don't think she does. FWIW, I would feel the same way about someone who got pregnant 17 times no matter what the outcome: "It's time for some Birth Control!" :headache:

FYI-I consider myself pro-choice. It is a woman's choice whether or not to have 1 child, 17 children, 1 abortion or 17 abortions. My personal morality does not matter, whether or not I would make the same choices does not matter. Reproductive rights means more than the right to end a pregnancy.

I find it inconsistent with the pro choice position when women are criticized for having too many kids. It's her choice.
 

Damn those Duggars. How dare they teach their children how to do laundry, how to cook, how to care for their siblings. And the dusting and vaccumming. Wow. Child abuse to the 9nth degree. I better get on the phone and tell my mother her how horrible and abusive she was to me, and I didn't even know it. :eek: And all along I thought she was raising a responsible adult who could take care of herself and her family. Damn her!!!!!!!!:mad:

Better yet, why don't we just have DCF yank the kids out of their. The child abuse is rampant. This way all 17 children can be divided between God knows how many families and if a few of them are really really lucky, they may actually end up with a family that will care for them and is being a foster parent because they love children and want to help and not with some abusive psycho family that is in it for the money. That shouldn't damage them to much, after they will be away from their horribly abusive parents. :rolleyes1

The accusations of abuse crack me up. Yes, the kids do chores. Kids should do them. Teach them a bit about responsibility. They help dress the younger children and help with their homework or feeding them, if it's needed. I seriously doubt that any of the kids are yelling abuse and wanting to leave.

They are home schooled and most if not all plan on going to college. Who really cares if the girls want to be teachers and nurses and not engineers. Talk about stereo typing. :sad2: Why does it matter what they want to be? The point is, they want to go to college to learn and better themselves. Shouldn't that be everyones goal for their children? :idea:

I understand, that due to their faith they feel it is necessary to dress conservetably (sp?) but they really neet to realize that they can use some different fabric and styles and still obtain it without making the girls all wear gunne sax dresses!! Reminds me of high school!! :rotfl:

And the hair. Please, it is time to get a hair cut.

If they feel the need to worship together in their own home instead of going to church, then good for them. However, I don't believe they should get any type of tax break for it. They should have to pay property taxes like every other home owner. If it is a primary residence, regardless if you worship their or not, taxes need to be paid. It's a loophole that has been abused by everyone from the vile Phelps family to the televangilist. It's not right.
 
FYI-I consider myself pro-choice. It is a woman's choice whether or not to have 1 child, 17 children, 1 abortion or 17 abortions. My personal morality does not matter, whether or not I would make the same choices does not matter. Reproductive rights means more than the right to end a pregnancy.

I find it inconsistent with the pro choice position when women are criticized for having too many kids. It's her choice.

How is anyone bing inconsistant? Is anyone saying she shouldn't be allowed to have 17 children? You have the right to have 17 children or to have 17 abortions.. I don't see anyone saying those things should be illegal..
However, we still have the right to comment on ones choice to have 17 children or 17 abortions ..This has no realtionship to the lagality of such things
 
What if, upon achieving young adulthood, the kids want to move away from home, explore another belief system, marry someone from outside the family circle, come out of the closet (you know there's at least one!), etc?

They're not going to leave mommy and daddy. They bought enough land for each child to have a plot of land around their house when it's time for them to move out. They're creating their own compound. See the quote below.

There's nothing illegal about what they're doing, we may not like it, but they've broken no law. If the citizens of that state want to change the laws, or we want our national laws changed to remove the loopholes that people exploit then we have to push for that. I've said for years I'm all for a flat tax system, because then the loopholes are gone.

Just because something is legal doesn't mean it's ethical. Our lawmakers aren't generally known for their ethical ways of thinking.

I think the Duggar family is a cult within itself.

My thoughts exactly.
 
I find it inconsistent with the pro choice position when women are criticized for having too many kids. It's her choice.

I'm not criticizing the decision to have more kids, only the decision to force the kids into acting like parents themselves rather than getting help from other adults.

And the calling their home church thing to escape taxes.
 
I say this on every Duggar thread, so sorry if it is redundant:

What bothers me is that this is news and the way they are glorified. There is nothing great about having child after child. Now if they had adopted a few of a few hard to place children, then I would find them admirable. But just reproducing yourself like an animal does not impress me. JMHO.

I wouldn't count them out yet on that one. When they do stop having their own children, I feel like they are the type of people to take on additional foster/adopted children. Many people do once they have surpassed their bodies' ability to have biological children, and the Duggars seem like the type to do that! In the meantime, I have 3 of my own - should I have stopped at one and then just adopted some unwanted children instead? My point is, what's the minimum # of biological children a couple should produce? I didn't realize there was one, unless you can't support them. And no, I don't consider their tax breaks as unlawful - either way you slice it there's still a lot of money managing going on in that home! $0.39 taco night at their local mexican restaurant, major bulk shopping, buying at auction, purchasing all clothing at a thrift store that benefits the homeless in NW ARkansas. Yes they have sponsors that donate things, but their motto with purchases is "buy used and save the difference." It was just recently that they moved into that big house (they built themselves and it took like 3 years to do) - before that they lived in a small 1900 sf house (I think) and made do with it so that they could save money. If we could all take that advice maybe we could be going to WDW more often! Which reminds me, I need to get back to looking at things that make me happy - back to real WDW stuff!
 
I've watched the Duggar specials. They get time to act like kids too but they also work more as a family. My daughter is 5 years older than my son. She helps me often with him. Is that abuse or being part of a family? Is it only abuse because you have more than 1 child helping their siblings and around the house?

My sister is 14 years younger than me. I often helped and had chores. I babysat, I changed diapers, I fed her, I played with her. I didn't do anything those kids aren't doing. There are just more of them.
 
I wouldn't count them out yet on that one. When they do stop having their own children, I feel like they are the type of people to take on additional foster/adopted children. Many people do once they have surpassed their bodies' ability to have biological children, and the Duggars seem like the type to do that!

The Duggars are not the type of people who adopt children from foster care. I do not think they will ever do so and they have never publically expressed that they have any interest in adopting.

Most, not just many, of the adoptive parents in this country could not conceive.


In the meantime, I have 3 of my own - should I have stopped at one and then just adopted some unwanted children instead?

The children I adopted are my own and they were not unwanted by their birthparents. They are loved very much by their birthparents.

And that's all I have to say about that since this is not an adoption thread.
 
I wouldn't count them out yet on that one. When they do stop having their own children, I feel like they are the type of people to take on additional foster/adopted children. Many people do once they have surpassed their bodies' ability to have biological children, and the Duggars seem like the type to do that!
I just don't get the same vibe from the Duggars. I think Michelle likes being pregnant and likes taking care of babies. It is what she has done for her entire adult life. The older kids take care of baby once it is weaned and Ma Duggar can get pregnant again. Once she is done with pregnancy and babies I do not envision her adopting older children. Of course, I could be wrong but that's my "vibe".
 
Another poster mentioned that kids should have chores, and it is true to a certain extent. But as someone who had a nanny until I was 5, not because DM worked, but she just wanted to do other things besides take care of me, then move back to the States and then be 5 years old and make your own cereal and own sandwiches just so DM wouldn't have to get up and do it for me and as soon as I could learn how to clean, do that to, not help but be a maid. I am glad DM had a tubal, because I would have had to take care of that kid too.
Guess what I do now? I take care of myself, DD and DM-since DF isnt here to do things for her. I don't believe in having children so they will be your maids or have siblings to take care of the other kids just because you CHOSE to have another kid, helping out is one thing, but come on. You made, you take care of them.
 
I just don't get the same vibe from the Duggars. I think Michelle likes being pregnant and likes taking care of babies. It is what she has done for her entire adult life. The older kids take care of baby once it is weaned and Ma Duggar can get pregnant again. Once she is done with pregnancy and babies I do not envision her adopting older children. Of course, I could be wrong but that's my "vibe".

Exactly. She reminds me of someone who loves being pregnant, loves the newborn, but then doesn't enjoy the child anymore and pretty much just hands it off to someone else to care for.
 
Another poster mentioned that kids should have chores, and it is true to a certain extent. But as someone who had a nanny until I was 5, not because DM worked, but she just wanted to do other things besides take care of me, then move back to the States and then be 5 years old and make your own cereal and own sandwiches just so DM wouldn't have to get up and do it for me and as soon as I could learn how to clean, do that to, not help but be a maid. I am glad DM had a tubal, because I would have had to take care of that kid too.
Guess what I do now? I take care of myself, DD and DM-since DF isnt here to do things for her. I don't believe in having children so they will be your maids or have siblings to take care of the other kids just because you CHOSE to have another kid, helping out is one thing, but come on. You made, you take care of them.


I must admit, I hate abbreviations. What is a DM? DF?
 
Thanks. When I first started reading threads here a few years ago, I came up with some appalling thoughts of what 'DS" and "DD" stood for.
 
I don't know, maybe it's because I come from a large family myself, or because I'm fairly strong supporter of the philosophy of live and let live but I have no problem with this family.
I don't think they are hurting anyone, including their children. I am the oldest of eight children. And I spent time caring for younger siblings as a child. And I had chores which were mostly cleaning things, although I did do some cooking also.
And I look back on my childhood fondly. As do most of my siblings (I don't know how some of them feel as we've never discussed it so I cannot say all of them, although none have ever expressed wishing we had been a smaller family).
 
More subtle criticism to the stay at home moms. If the girls ended up not going to college or pursuing microbiology or physics or engineering and instead decided to marry and have a family, would that be bad? If that is what they wanted to do? I see so many mothers and fathers pushing their children into the things THEY want them to do (i.e. ballet, football, cheerleading) - don't get me started with the stage moms, my goodness! They are certainly pushing their ideals on their children. If this mom tries to teach her girls that there is nothing wrong with raising your children as your "job", how is that any different? We all push our children in ways that we think they should be pushed. I ask you, who wants your children to succeed more than you? Is raising a family become so looked down upon, that you can't even allow your daughters to value it? It has to be an afterthought? Our priorities have become a little warped. Why does there have to be such a stigma with it? As if they haven't done enough with their lives if they don't become scientists or engineers? People like to "say" their children are the #1 priority, but if these girls do nothing else with their lives other than marry and have children of their own, they will be looked down upon and criticized for that. I tell my children, everyday, that my #1 priority is and always will be them. I teach my children that they can grow up to do anything they want if they apply themselves and work hard and that having a family is hard work and requires a lot of dedication too and it will be the most important thing they do with their lives. We can't keep cheapening what the stay-at-home moms do and those who want to do it in the future - it is a hard job and one that requires much more value than it is given!

I AM a stay-at-home mom, so NO, I am not cheapening what we do. I also have an MFA and a limited free-lance career that I love that I have voluntarily put on the back burner so I could be home and raise my children. I want my girls to have the same choices I had - to do or be whatever they want (as long as it is legal!). My entire point was that I sincerely doubt those girls are being encouraged to follow their dreams. In fact, they are being taught to be just like their mother. So while I agree that many parents push their children toward football or cheerleading or whatever for their own purposes, the Duggars are doing the same. It isn't bad or wrong for any child to aspire to being a parent or homemaker. It is bad or wrong to tell a girl that she should aspire to nothing else because that is her lot in life.
 
Exactly. She reminds me of someone who loves being pregnant, loves the newborn, but then doesn't enjoy the child anymore and pretty much just hands it off to someone else to care for.

Are you kidding? I mean really, "she doesn't enjoy the child anymore"? Come on! She loves those children, anyone can see that. She loves having babies, don't get me wrong, but I don't see anything wrong with that either - I loved having babies as well. I watched one of the shows where one of the littler ones (4 or 5 maybe) made her a homemade "pop-up" card and was so proud of it - she was as proud of it as him and praises and encourages her children all the time - we could all learn from that. I'm not saying everyone should do what they have done, but "just hands it off to someone else to care for" - that's a little ridiculous and mean and grossly inaccurate. They appear to be a family who values being together and working together and have a wonderful spirit about life and family!
 




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