Duggar surprise?

[ccgirl]

But what if you had a child with severe disabilities, and you were told the odds for it to happen again would increase as you got older? Would you still have another child? How many severely disabled children would you have before you realized that there was an issue? Of course you would love them, but could you handle all of their issues just with love?

I guess I would cross that bridge when I got to it. Personally, I could not see the bridge being after just 1 child. YMMV.

 

[laurie31]

But what if you had a child with severe disabilities, and you were told the odds for it to happen again would increase as you got older? Would you still have another child? How many severely disabled children would you have before you realized that there was an issue? Of course you would love them, but could you handle all of their issues just with love?

Well, back in the 80s, the DeBolts seem to do it just fine.

For those too young to remember the ABC documentary "Who are the DeBolts and Where Did They Get 19 Kids," they were a couple with 8 biological children who adopted 12 more (the 20th came after the show aired) and most of them had serious physical disabilities; several were disabled orphans from the Korean and Vietnam wars.

I hadn't thought about them in years, but I googled, and their kids are now 34-54 and all live on their own and are self-supporting.

It's not a path I would choose, though. (ETA - to have 9 severely handicapped kids, I mean). In fact, I wouldn't choose to have 9 able-bodied kids!! )

As for being 45...yes, the risks are higher than if you're 25, but it's not as if you are doomed to have a disabled child. I had a friend in high school (who was valedectorian) whose mom was 45 when he was born, and he was her 2nd (and last) child. He was a mid-life suprise baby, but no complications.

There is actually a higher risk for preeclampsia with your first pregnancy rather than subsequent pregancies, however, once it's happened, the risk is higher that it could happen again. Plus being over 40 is a risk. I noticed she said she is trying to exercise and eat very healthy foods, which are steps to decreasing that risk. I pray she has a healthy pregnancy, for the sake of the baby and the other children.

 

[gator75]

I chimed in earlier , but i have something that i want to add.

I feel sorry for the kids of hoarder parents. These people can't possible have an intamate bond with every single child. Its the same problem parents complain about with school. The adult to child ratio is simply such that they can't possibly be covering all the emotional needs that each of these kids has. they've been relegated to fame status because their fame grabbing parents won't stop pumping babies out to stay on the air.

 

[SaraJayne]

So you are on the slippery slope that special needs children shouldn't be born? Where should we draw the line? At what level is autism severe enough that it is an "issue" that needs to be "handled"? It may sound severe and inflammatory, but for me life needs to be seen as sacred. There just isn't a gray area.
Remember, no one had a problem when they were just coming for the gypsies...

Taking some major leaps, eh?

I think people are ignoring the bait.

 

[kacaju]

I guess I would cross that bridge when I got to it. Personally, I could not see the bridge being after just 1 child. YMMV.

I had a friend who had a severely disabled son. He was her 2nd child...don't be too sure that bridge will be one you never will have to cross

 

[marybet]

So you are on the slippery slope that special needs children shouldn't be born? Where should we draw the line? At what level is autism severe enough that it is an "issue" that needs to be "handled"? It may sound severe and inflammatory, but for me life needs to be seen as sacred. There just isn't a gray area.
Remember, no one had a problem when they were just coming for the gypsies...

You certainly made a big leap. The question wasn't would you terminate a pregnancy if you knew the baby would be "special needs" but rather if you have a "special needs" child would you get pregnant again. Huge difference.

 

[pigletgirl]

Josie was born premature because Michelle had pre-eclampsia not because she has a "weak" uterus.

You certainly made a big leap. The question wasn't would you terminate a pregnancy if you knew the baby would be "special needs" but rather if you have a "special needs" child would you get pregnant again. Huge difference.

Josie is a special needs child. She was a micro-preemie and they probably don't even know how she'll develop long term.

To risk that again with another baby is just foolish. Why put your family through something like that again?

 

[PrincessSuzanne]

I think they both have absolutely lost their minds. There has to be some point where she has to stop, I guess it will be when her uterus literally falls out and yes that can happen.

I think she is sefish to keep doing this. I would think all the other children would eventually become resentful, because she is kind of keeping the older kids from moving on and having lives of their own.

I was 35 when my mother passed away and suffered significantly and I was an only child, I wonder if she has ever thought about what it would do to these 19 children for their mother to die having another child.

Selfish just selfish!!!!!

 

[Conservative Hippie]

My issue is not that the child may or may not have special needs. That can happen to anyone. At 45 her risks of having a complication or a child with disabilities is greater. It doesn't matter what your mindset is, or if you think age is just a number or you're only as young as you feel...it's a fact. Women are only born with a certain number of eggs, and in simple terms young eggs are healthier than old eggs.

My issue is with having so many children, and I think the same thing about women who have children very close together. I have a one friend who is "quiverfull," and she just had her third baby yesterday. Her other two children are almost 3 and 16 months. Less than 6 months between pregnancies is not good for your body, and it's not good for the baby.

 

[lucas]

I guess since the Bates are catching up they have to keep going.

 

[Eeyore98]

I understand and respect the Quiverful belief, heck I'm Catholic and we're supposed to be fruitful and multiply, BUT I do not believe this baby/pregnancy thing is religiously-based for her. She's hiding behind it.

Totally agree. The Quiverful belief is always stated in the same terms as the Catholic beliefs, that God will bless you with however many kids you're supposed to have, and that intervening in that in any way is wrong. But families like this ARE intervening, just in the other direction.

If they were just letting their fertility go along its natural course, they would have probably half the kids they do now. I've done a lot of genealogical research, and from what I've seen, having families of 9 and 10 kids wasn't uncommon in the days before chemical birth control...but having families of 19 and 20 kids certainly WAS.

IMO, they are just as controlling of "God's plan" for their lives as anyone using birth control, it's just that they have the opposite goal.
Stopping breastfeeding early (and probably starting to time ovulation again) in order to get pregnant again so quickly after giving birth is just as deliberate and artificial as taking a pill or putting on a condom.

(At least, that's my child-free, non-Christian opinion, anyway! )

 

[princessmom29]

Totally agree. The Quiverful belief is always stated in the same terms as the Catholic beliefs, that God will bless you with however many kids you're supposed to have, and that intervening in that in any way is wrong. But families like this ARE intervening, just in the other direction.

If they were just letting their fertility go along its natural course, they would have probably half the kids they do now. I've done a lot of genealogical research, and from what I've seen, having families of 9 and 10 kids wasn't uncommon in the days before chemical birth control...but having families of 19 and 20 kids certainly WAS.

IMO, they are just as controlling of "God's plan" for their lives as anyone using birth control, it's just that they have the opposite goal.
Stopping breastfeeding early (and probably starting to time ovulation again) in order to get pregnant again so quickly after giving birth is just as deliberate and artificial as taking a pill or putting on a condom.

(At least, that's my child-free, non-Christian opinion, anyway! )

ITA
IMO,This is COMPLETLY medically irresponsible and selfish. Josie was premature becuase her mother was of advanced maternal age, had multiple prior c-sections, a thining uterus, a previous history of preganancy induced hypertension, a gallbladder that needed to come out, and still decided it was a good idea to get pregnant with #19 rather than allow gallbladder surgery to interrupt her childbearing becuase she was running out of time. I don't understand how a mother could put herself at this kid of risk agian. It defies all logic and any sense of responsibilty for the children she has. Having #20 is more important than bieng there to care for the 19 she already has.

 

[princessmom29]

I think they both have absolutely lost their minds. There has to be some point where she has to stop, I guess it will be when her uterus literally falls out and yes that can happen.

I think she is sefish to keep doing this. I would think all the other children would eventually become resentful, because she is kind of keeping the older kids from moving on and having lives of their own.

I was 35 when my mother passed away and suffered significantly and I was an only child, I wonder if she has ever thought about what it would do to these 19 children for their mother to die having another child.

Selfish just selfish!!!!!

more likely her uterus will thin to the point or rupture and she will bleed out on the table before they can do a hystorectomy or she will go preclamptic and have a fatal seziure. Not to mention all of the risk to the baby. It boggles the mind to think why anyone in thier right mind would do this.

 

[PrincessSuzanne]

more likely her uterus will thin to the point or rupture and she will bleed out on the table before they can do a hystorectomy or she will go preclamptic and have a fatal seziure. Not to mention all of the risk to the baby. It boggles the mind to think why anyone in thier right mind would do this.

That too, but I worked for a Urologist and we saw women all the time with a prolapsed uterus (freaked me out the first time I saw it) and it wasn't because of having that many children. I can't imagine what her uterus must look like and her doctor is stupid for giving her the go ahead.

 

[DVCLiz]

Josie is a special needs child. She was a micro-preemie and they probably don't even know how she'll develop long term.

To risk that again with another baby is just foolish. Why put your family through something like that again?

Actually, the story I saw today said that Josie is developing normally with no effects from her premature birth, and hitting all of her developmental milestones on time. She wasn't classified as special needs in the news story I saw.

 

[Cat0727]

Does anyone think she used fertility treatments?

 

[SaraJayne]

We are watching right now and they just showed the announcement at home.

Grandma Duggar does NOT look happy at all about it!

 

[Cat0727]

I love the Duggars...I DVR the show and watch with my kids. I have been a big defender of theirs on here...with that said, I really wished they would have stopped. I knew this was coming because on last week's episode they visited the Bates(who are pregnant with their 19th) and seemed almost jealous. When asked by the Bates about #20, they said they were really hoping it would've have happened by now and were still hoping it wasn't too late.

I hope that she stays safe and healthy through this pregnancy!

Absolutely. I think they are in total competition with the Bates.

 

[PlutosFriend]

We are watching right now and they just showed the announcement at home.

Grandma Duggar does NOT look happy at all about it!

More laundry for her to do!
Good show tonight..especially for those that have inquiring minds!

 

[SaraJayne]

More laundry for her to do!
Good show tonight..especially for those that have inquiring minds!

My DD loves the show, but I have no earthly idea why. Maybe because our small, quiet family is the complete opposite of their chaos, and she can't fathom living like they do.