DS9 Changes his mind on Santa List

[sk!mom]

Mean mommy here . We have a rule that once you talk to Santa, you can't change your mind. I usually use the line, "What if every kid changed his mind a few days before Christmas, how would Santa's elves be able to make all those new toys in time?"

My kids are way past believing but we also had Santa rules. 1. No mind changing after visiting Santa. 2. You may only ask for gifts that had mom and dad's stamp of approval.

For myself, though, I'd want to send back the expensive set and switch if I thought that he really didn't want it and wouldn't play with it. Do you think that is the case or is he just worried that he won't get such an expensive gift?

If he's honestly changed his mind, then I'd let him and send it back. If it's the latter (and I'd talk with him and find out) then I'd tell him to "leave it up to Santa and see what happens." I would remind him that, "Santa always brings a great gift and I'm sure he will this year, as well."

 

[dbrn]

I would stick with your original plan.

My son's birthday is 3 days after Christmas. He was very disappointed one Christmas morning when he didn't get something he asked for in a letter to Santa that he'd written at school (his teacher forgot to send it home until after the Christmas break)!!! We were able to get the item he wanted and gave it to him for his birthday. I told him when he opened it that Santa knew he was already getting it from us, and that's why he didn't bring it.

I was worried I was setting a bad precedent that he was going to expect that anything he didn't get for Christmas would be given to him on his birthday, but that hasn't happened.

 

[3boymthr]

I'm wondering if someone (at school or on the bus) told him that santa wasn't real and he's testing you. I had something similar happen with my oldest and again with my middle and with my youngest (who is also 9). I'd definitely switch as this will help keep the magic alive.

 

[Leajess99]

If his birthday is in 14 days why not give it to him for his birthday?? That is what I plan to do with my dd's change wish item. I told her that her list has already been sent to Santa and now it is too late to change it. I told her to add it to her Birthday list (her birthday is on the 12th). That worked for her but she is a year younger than your son.

 

[Southernmiss]

This is what I do--sleigh is already packed.

 

[Leajess99]

Lastly, his 9th b-day present is a trip to Great Wolf Lodge that weekend with a couple of friends in for the day (Excellent Groupon deal - 1 bedroom suite, 6 passes & pizza dinner for $200!!) so I wasn't planning on getting a gift - the trip is plenty and he knows it!

Wow, that wouldn't fly for my kids because we do trips instead of having a birthday party but the kids still get a birthday present. Do you do this for all your kids, no party but a trip with no presents?? Just curious because it seems to me that it would cause resentment if siblings get birthday parties with gifts and he gets this trip with no gift.

 

[JamesMom]

Wow, that wouldn't fly for my kids because we do trips instead of having a birthday party but the kids still get a birthday present. Do you do this for all your kids, no party but a trip with no presents?? Just curious because it seems to me that it would cause resentment if siblings get birthday parties with gifts and he gets this trip with no gift.

OP here,
The trip IS the gift AND the party. We did this last year for his 8th. Checked in on Thursday, 2 friends spent the day with him on Friday (no school) with a pizza lunch, and then the family came back on Saturday for MagicQuest. We live 20 minutes away so we didn't do the water park on Saturday (Friday check out). No gifts except from his friends (and Nana & Grandpa)and he got to spend an entire day with them not just a 2 hour party, not to mention the 3 day stay at the Lodge. He loved it so much we are doing it again this year! I think we're safe from the therapy bills at least for birthday - trying to avoid them for Christmas, too, lol.

 

[moonpie85]

I would go with option 3 since you are already prepared

 

[mombrontrent]

Wow, that wouldn't fly for my kids because we do trips instead of having a birthday party but the kids still get a birthday present. Do you do this for all your kids, no party but a trip with no presents?? Just curious because it seems to me that it would cause resentment if siblings get birthday parties with gifts and he gets this trip with no gift.

Wow, I think the trip to Wilderness lodge with friends is a FANTASTIC gift and party combo. If my kid felt resentment over that I would be more concerned that I was raising a spoiled brat.

 

[Leajess99]

Wow, I think the trip to Wilderness lodge with friends is a FANTASTIC gift and party combo. If my kid felt resentment over that I would be more concerned that I was raising a spoiled brat.

Sorry but my kids aren't spoiled brats but if their sibling gets a party with gifts and they get a trip instead of a party (which at $200 could cost the same), they would be resentful.

My kids all get trips (instead of parties) AND a gift but then again my kids aren't asking for a lot or outrageous gifts. Of course I have kids that would rather help others out than worry about getting stuff. This is the first year my youngest has even thought about a party but she wants people to bring donations for the animal shelter instead of gifts. Yep, sounds like a spoiled brat huh???

 

[Leajess99]

OP here,
The trip IS the gift AND the party. We did this last year for his 8th. Checked in on Thursday, 2 friends spent the day with him on Friday (no school) with a pizza lunch, and then the family came back on Saturday for MagicQuest. We live 20 minutes away so we didn't do the water park on Saturday (Friday check out). No gifts except from his friends (and Nana & Grandpa)and he got to spend an entire day with them not just a 2 hour party, not to mention the 3 day stay at the Lodge. He loved it so much we are doing it again this year! I think we're safe from the therapy bills at least for birthday - trying to avoid them for Christmas, too, lol.

I never meant he would need therapy. Some kids would be resentful of their siblings who get parties and gifts while their party is their gift.

 

[diznygirl]

Hello, Just a vent about DS9 (b-day in 14 days).
Back around Thanksgiving, he was all about Lego Ninjago. He REALLY wanted the Fire Temple set as he had already spent his allowance on collecting some. He watched YouTube videos and was excited to see the cartoon on TV. He lived, ate, and breathe Ninjago. So when his $120 Fire Temple set that was #2 on his 2 item wish List for Santa (#1 was ipod touch) went on sale for $100, Mom, aka Santa, snatched it up and it is sitting wrapped in the truck on my hubby's car.
Flash forward to last night. DS comes to me in tears that he is wasting his wish on the Ninjago set. He now wants the smaller Hogwarts Castle set (which I have in reserve, unknown to him, as a reward for reading the Goblets of Fire book -- he's on page 450). He claims no interest in Ninjago despite playing with them with a friend just last week.
Here are my options:
1 - Stick with the original plan - give Ninjago for Christmas and reward Hogwarts when book is finished (ie. around birthday)
2 - Return Ninjago to Amazon and replace with Hogwarts
3 - Put both under the tree with a tag from Santa on Hogwarts ("Heard you are making great progress with Goblet of Fire - Keep up the good work")

BTW - DS6 is getting the Big Hogwarts set for Christmas. Also, we have a tradition of when he finishes a book (first 2 I read aloud) in the HP series we get a Lego set - so far, quidditch, the Burrows and Hagrids hut were rewards. DS8 read #3 on his own. Also, no movie until the book is read, too

What would you do?

Since you have a tradition of getting a Lego set when he finishes a book, I would have told him he's not wasting a wish since he can get that set when the book is done and still get the Ninjago set for Christmas.

Crisis averted.

Hope all goes well!

 

[Tiger926]

I like 2 as well.

Interesting dilemma to be in, and it is why we don`t have Santa lists. Kids sit on Santa, and our baby boy will ask for a toy, but my older daughter doesn`t ask for anything. They both know that Santa isn`t guaranteed to bring anything you may wish or ask for.

We have also taught them that Santa and Mommy & Daddy decide together (email) what gifts they will get, and we as the parents have to pay Santa those gifts.

This works out well, as there would be no scenario as with the OP, as they know that a wish list is not a guarantee whatsoever. Just today our baby boy had to be reminded that just because he asked Santa for a train, he may not get it (he isn't getting it).

I think the whole pressure of the list is a lot for parents to deal with, as the OP has shown, and that is why we have never done the list with our kids. Not to mention that it sets up high expectations, and encourages kids to ask and demand gifts, which we don't like at all. And the end result of this, is sadness, disappointment or frenzy on the part of parents who are then left to make decisions like the OP is trying to make.

My kids absolutely love Nijago, and it's hard to get around here. Santa will be bringing a bunch of Ninjago over here!

Good luck OP! Tiger

 

[princessmom29]

I never meant he would need therapy. Some kids would be resentful of their siblings who get parties and gifts while their party is their gift.

I don't see why there should be resentment. In my house we were given the choice: big party with all the trimmings, like the OP's Great Wolf trip, or smaller party plus a nice gift. We each chose differently different years, but no one every resented what the other got, becuase we got to choose for ourselves. I let DD choose as well. This was the first year she went for the big gift with a small party, usually we do an expensive party and that is her gift from us.

 

[princessmom29]

I like 2 as well.

Interesting dilemma to be in, and it is why we don`t have Santa lists. Kids sit on Santa, and our baby boy will ask for a toy, but my older daughter doesn`t ask for anything. They both know that Santa isn`t guaranteed to bring anything you may wish or ask for.

We have also taught them that Santa and Mommy & Daddy decide together (email) what gifts they will get, and we as the parents have to pay Santa those gifts.

This works out well, as there would be no scenario as with the OP, as they know that a wish list is not a guarantee whatsoever. Just today our baby boy had to be reminded that just because he asked Santa for a train, he may not get it (he isn't getting it).

I think the whole pressure of the list is a lot for parents to deal with, as the OP has shown, and that is why we have never done the list with our kids. Not to mention that it sets up high expectations, and encourages kids to ask and demand gifts, which we don't like at all. And the end result of this, is sadness, disappointment or frenzy on the part of parents who are then left to make decisions like the OP is trying to make.

My kids absolutely love Nijago, and it's hard to get around here. Santa will be bringing a bunch of Ninjago over here!

Good luck OP! Tiger

our list is not a gurantee either, more of a set of ideas for santa to go on. You may or may not get any or all items on your list.

 

[CAFarmerGirl]

#3...would love to be there for the look on his face That is what Christmas is all about (for me). I think him finishing the book will be a reward in and of itself.

 

[mom2val]

!

 

[JamesMom]

Op here, again. Thanks for all the replies. After talking it over with DH we realized something. We think the DS believes he will only get the 2 gifts he put on Santa's list and nothing else, like from us. Which is historically inaccurate but of course a boy will only remember Santa at Christmas time. So Santa will bring the desire of his heart - hogswarts while mom and dad will give Ninjagos. We planned to give him cars 2 blu Ray but we'll save that for a rainy family movie night soon. This way both boys will get 2 Santa presents and 2 mom and dad gifts. It's all about apparent fairness at this age. Thanks everyone for responding- interesting to read. Merry Christmas!

ETA - After he woke up this morning, he told me that he was up for a few hours late last night because of not feeling well (Daddy took care of him) and he hoped he wasn't sick tonight, because Santa won't come if he's not sleeping. How can I deny him now? LOL.

 

[Plantlady]

That's a tough one. In our house, your letter to Santa needs to go into the mailbox right after Thanksgiving. Santa's elves need plenty of time.

My youngest just announced something brand new I had never even heard of in church last Sunday. I had to tell him.. a bit late. He just grinned.

Since you can make the magic happen though.. I say go for it.

None of my kids believe in Santa. My youngest, 10, just told me a couple weeks ago, that there was no Santa. I told him, that may be true, but there is still a Magic about Christmas that we all get to believe in. So, make that magic happen.

 

[JamesMom]

OP here - Follow Up on Christmas morning.

Santa gave Hogwarts and mom & Dad did Ninjago. Guess which one he is building first-right now? Ninjago! He is very happy with Potter, too. Thanks for your responses and hope y'all have a Merry Christmas.