DS13 is serving an in school suspension

[bookwormde]

Mom2joshcanpark

I am really sorry for what your children have had to endure. Clearly the administrators of your school are failing not just your children but also all the children at their school. If your spectrum child is going to go back into the “system” there are a few things that you can do to make a big difference not only for your child but for the whole school.

First if you have not already get a copy of the book Perfect Targets by Rebekah Heinrichs, actually get 2 copies, 1 for yourself and one for you child IEP team.

Then call an IEP meeting and make it clear to them that your child is being denied an appropriate education because the school lacks a comprehensive bullying policy. Most schools think a no tolerance is all that is needed, which could not be further from the truth. Have a comprehensive bullying policy drafted and included for your child environment at school.

As you will see in the book, a comprehensive bullying policy includes bullying definitions and the education of staff and students about this, a environment monitoring procedure, a bullying preventions program including many facets, peer support and so on.

Once it is in you child’s IEP (and make sure the “accommodations” spell out every requirement listed in the perfect target book which apply to your child and school for his “environment”). IDEA does cover the bus ride so it should specifically extend to there, even if it takes an aid riding the bus with him.

You have to let you IEP team know that they must as part of their “duties” as a member of the IEP team become educated about the potential impacts of bullying on their ability to provide and appropriate education to your child (that is why you give them a copy of the Perfect Targets book). Also let them know that this is non-negotiable and that you are prepared to utilized the full rights of process and to request an administrative ruling from the federal DOE IDEA compliance office if they are at all resistant to this accommodation.

I think you will find that once the team has read the book and “understand” the situation and impact it has on you child they will be very supportive (they do not want to work in an environment where bullying is affecting their students and themselves). Generally the only members who will be resistant are the administrators because of the amount of resourses needed to implement.

Just so you know the adoption of a comprehensive bullying policy is also a requirement of NCLB’s gang/bullying safe school section.

The practical reality is that by creating this policy for your child’s environment they will have to implement it virtually school wide with the LRE regulations.




I know this is a lot of work but it will make such a difference not only in your child’s life but that of all the other students also.

I hope this give you some encouragement.

bookwormde

 

[Piper]

The teacher, bus driver, etc. absolutely CAN control bullying. My "no tolerance" policy in my classroom of 4 and 5 year olds includes teaching compassion. In my annual review this year, the principal said my classroom "has an atmosphere of love, respect, and enthusiasm for learning that can almost be felt."

Example: A child trips and falls--others laugh. I step in right away, stop what everyone is doing and focus their attention on the incident.
First I ask the child if they are hurt and address that issue in front of the class. Then I say: "I am so sorry someone laughed. That really wasn't a kind thing to do. Did it make you feel sad when they laughed? (of course, the child says yes) Oh, I'm sorry someone made your heart feel sad when your knee (or whatever) was already hurting from falling. A kind thing to do when someone falls is to ask if they are O.K."

I do not allow children to make fun of questions (I am always asking children to explain their thinking--even with a right answer.) I have a child who stutters and he was only laughed at one time and the class got a stern talking to about how he had a really great brain that thought so fast his mouth couldn't keep up. I emphasized how smart he was.

We talk about everyone doing his "own best job" and talk about how people's tastes and talents are unique to the individual--and that's a good thing. I emphasize the talents of everyone and also try to acknowledge each child when they improve in an area or accomplish a task that is difficult for them. The children congratulate each other and often bring me something someone else has done to show me their classmate's work.

I celebrate children's differences--I don't want a cookie-cutter class. Children who don't share, try to "boss" the other kids, etc. are handled in the same way. It is a teaching opportunity for the children involved (and depending on the issue) for the whole class. And, yes, I know when incidents occur because my children step in and correct the other child (even children from other classes at dismissal.) Parents have even told me that they were "called out" by their children for insensitive behavior.

My class isn't perfect (nor am I--who is?--we all make mistakes or do things we regret later) and I have to keep on top of things and deal with them as they occur. I only have my students for 9 1/2 months, but I hope that if I can make an impression on them at their young age, it will be a life lesson.

 

[thop529]

I get to see the nasty monsters and their parents at the high school level.

WOW, you must be an awesome teacher, or administrator. It's great to love your job isn't it

Yes, if my son was taking up for me and "cuffed" another kid I would take him to his favorite restaurant for dinner that night. Not only if he were taking up for me, but anyone. just like another poster said...Sometimes you have to revert back to "cuffing" someone to get it through their thick skull that making fun of someone is not right!

 

[yoopermom]

I'm pleasantly surprised what a good indepth discussion this has spawned. This age group of boys tends to be best friends one moment and hitting each other with sticks the next, I swear! They forgive and forget, though, which is good.

I'm a teacher, too, (and finishing up my l.d. certification), so really glad to hear about such a positive classroom. I don't allow any "dissing" (not to be confused with DIS-ing!), and the kids grumble, but do what I say. School should be a safe place...

Terri