DS not off to a great start

[kirbydog48]

I'm just feeling so overwhelmed right now. My DS9 just started third grade. He has ADHD,NLD, Dyslexia, Dysgraphia and problems with executive functioning. School has always been challenging for him. He is extremely bright, but can barely write or spell, and has a lot of difficulty organizing information and getting started on tasks. We developed what I thought was a good IEP. Some pullouts for reading/spelling, speech (social pragmatics) and he meets with a counselor twice a week at school. He also has a one-on-one aide.Yesterday and today he has been completely noncompliant, and has been acting out physically to his teacher, staff and other students. He had to be restrained yesterday and today. He never does this stuff at home, but school is a scarey place for him I think, and he has a very low threshold for frustration. He is on medication for ADHD which has helped with attention, but the anger and rage are so scarey. I am currently looking for a therapist to help him deal with his emotions more productively. I guess I'm just waiving the flag and saying "HELP"!!

 

[KirstenB]

I'm sorry. No advice, just a

 

[bookwormde]

It is interesting that with this grouping of characteristics, particularly the EF issues that he does not have any social skills deficits. This may be somewhat puzzling to the school clinical staff.

If he had social skills deficits I would say that he was misdiagnosed and that this was a typical reaction to the situation and medications for children at this age who had been misdiagnosed, but with your description it is somewhat baffling.

I would definitely get with his pediatrician and see about modifying his med dose or prescription since these types of acting out are not uncommon with ADHD medication when they become inappropriate and a change is needed.

Wish I could be more helpful.

bookwormde

 

[BeckyScott]

To go along with what bookworme said, the social skills become more difficult as the child gets older. So maybe he didn't used to have any, but now he does? Or, and I hate to say it, but if he hasn't had social skill problems, but is now becoming aggressive in class, he's going to start having social problems.

We haven't had this problem yet, but I'm sure it's on the horizon. I have a good friend whose son is in 6th grade and is ADHD, ODD, and likely bipolar. And now he's on meds for depression because he's so ostracized by teachers and peers. The depression part of it didn't start until he was older, when kids started to notice he was "different". (and the teachers certainly did their part to reinforce that) As the kids get older, they start to notice more when others get pulled out, and they start to understand what a para is. (I think it takes a couple of years before they realize that extra adult just isn't some random helper lady, but in fact is there assigned to a child)

Do you have a behavior plan in place in the IEP?

 

[kirbydog48]

Thanks so much for all your responses. Things are going better this week. I think part of the problem is that he started school 9/5, so went Wed-Fri, then he was out sick the following Mon-Wed, so when he went back he felt like everyone else was learning things that he was left out of. It still doesn't justify his reaction, however. He does have some social skills deficits concurrent with NLD (hard to read people esp. body language), and he has great difficulty with perspective taking. He did go to a theurapeutic camp this summer for kids with ADHD, Asberger's, etc. He also meets with the Speech/lang pathologist twice a week, and they do lunch group once a week for kids who need help socially. He does have a behavior plan in place; he's supposed to get frequent breaks and incentives for doing his work and there's lots of support for using words instead of his body, etc. I'm also pretty confident in his diagnosis, as we just had a neuropsych done in May, and she is highly regarded (affiliated with Boston Children's Hosp, etc). We do have an appointment tomorrow with a new therapist, so I'm hoping he can get some help with recognizing his emotions before he explodes and gaining some calming strategies. I also need to find a good psychopharmacologist. None of this was in the manual LOL!!!

 

[JESW]

I am also in MA with a ds13 with asperger's, dysgraphia and auditory processing issues. Public school became a nightmare for him and by the middle of 6th grade we (with the help of the school) had him pulled out and now he goes to a special program for kids like him and it is contained in a public school setting. It was the best thing we could have done for him! We were very concerned about his mental health as he was failing fast.

I am not sure if your son is at that point, but if he ever does get there please know that there ARE places in our state that can educate your son. This year in 8th grade he is in a classroom with 4 other boys. They follow academic guidelines, but they can also do other things with the kids like bowling, zoo outings, and other trips for social skills. If my son has worked on a story they find time for him to read it in class. He can also write with other students - there is more flexibility than in the public school. And one of the best things - NO HOMEWORK!!! That had been such a ightmare for years with him and this school doesn't believe that kids like him benefit from homework.

I am in SE MA but there are programs all over. Let me know if you ever want any more info.

I hope things get better as I do know what you are going through...

Jill

 

[kirbydog48]

Thanks Jill. I'm so glad you found such a great program; it sounds ideal! I don't think we're quite at that stage. His latest IEP went into effect in June, so we need to see how all the pieces fit together. Is your son using any particular technology to help with the dysgraphia? That is being phased in for my ds now. We do have some good private schools in my neck of MA; the Carroll School in Lincoln, Willow Hill in Sudbury. I don't think they'll consider behavior issues though, plus they cost about 60K a year! I just want him to experience some success this year to boost his confidence, as he does have a lot going for him. Thanks so much for everyone's input. It helps to not feel so alone.

 

[JESW]

..just so you know...if the school finds out that they cannot educate him, THE SCHOOL pays for the placement - not you. They would find a local program - private schools aren't always the answer. They also provide transportation. Not to alarm you, but 3rd grade is when it started to fall apart for my ds. We had iep's in place, pull-outs for certain classes, and at the end a one-on-one aide. He got by in 3rd, 4th & 5th, but when they started switching classes in 6th grade it was way too much for him.

I hope that things go so much better for you. It is a tough road and you need to stay on the school to make sure they follow the iep and make accomodations. Good luck to you!

Jill