DS is WAY ahead of his class...advice needed

[geffric]

Does you school district have a gifted program? My oldest son has been in our districts gifted program since 3rd grade. Before that, the school did enrichments for him. My son is in a special class with others from the district like him in reading and math. .. He has to go to a differnt school in the district for the class but it is worth it. he now has friends that are very much like him in interests and is not the odd child out of the class.Our school district does this for the children versus encouraging them to be skipped.
PM me if you want any info on the gifted program..

 

[kasar]

Few schools in our area provide help for accelerated students, there's just no budget for it. I've asked.

I would say keep doing what you're doing. Let him have free access to all kinds of books, let him take classes outside of school like music, language. Push for him to be in older classes for these extracurricular classes (won't matter if he's not with friends as much as school and he'll benefit from higher expectations) and, here's my best suggestion, get him involved in sports. If he's bored in school, he may act out or become restless. Keeping active does take that edge off a bit. This may sound strange but look for sports where there may be better players than your son. If they have everything come easy in school, sometimes it's good to have your child see that success takes hard work and it will give him empathy for the children who are struggling in school. It's just my crazy theory but my DD knows that, while learning comes easy to her, it may not to others, just like shooting a basketball takes work for her and others learn it easily.

Don't worry too much. Your son, as long as he's not bored enough to get into trouble, will be fine. How nice to be able to get through school without having to worry about grades when there's so much other stuff to worry about. He'll be fine.

 

[peg2001]

We were in the exact same place earlier this year, with DD in 1st grade. She went into 1st grade reading chapter books while the class was reviewing letter sounds. Our requests for more challenging material were denied. The teacher told us that all students must work through the same reading and math texts, regardless of their academic skill level. DD essentially became a little teacher's aide, helping the other students.

Our solution was bringing DD home.

Peggy

 

[CJMickeyMouse]

I agree that when he gets bored enough to get into trouble, it's time to make a move.

PM me if you want to chat - I have two middle schoolers taking advanced high school classes and doing wonderfully... socially, academically, etc. It seems like yesterday when I was in your shoes, with the teachers scratching their heads trying to figure out what to do with them. Acceleration can work beautifully with the right kids. All of the hoopla about "peers" is a joke.... peers are not necessarily agemates.

Good luck!

 

[believe]

DD (6) is in the same boat. They have started pulling her and a few other kids aside 3 days a week for a 30 minute session that is more their level. She is only in 1/2 day.

In KY...4 yr old are considered preschool age/pre-K. You can not go to Kindergarten unless you are 5 by Sept.1. DD's b-day is in December.

DH works with her a lot at home, more than I am able to. Although I work with her a few days a week. Since she enjoys her class I wouldn't dream of moving her right now. I did think about it when they weren't assisting her at her level, but that changed some with the 30 minute sessions.

 

[klmklm]

I agree with kasar, it's really important for them to learn how to work through something that's hard for them. Otherwise, the first time they hit a hard subject, they may decide that the subject is stupid, or that the teacher is no good, or that they themselves are no good. It can be a real shock.

Some ideas for providing extras outside of school:
For the math, there are online courses (expensive but good):
http://www-epgy.stanford.edu/

For the reading, at first it is easy to let them just read harder books, but as you get up into the middle school reading levels, a lot of the books are dealing with issues that are too heavy for little kids (e.g., abuse, the Holocaust). Magazines filled the gap for us somewhat, but I wish there was a list of suggested books for young children reading at the high school level!

One of my concerns was that providing enrichment often made us more out of step with the classroom. In order to avoid that, we did a lot of enrichment in kindergarten in foreign language and science (nature study including astronomy, and simple physics). Your library may have some language resources. We liked the singer Alain le Lait for French songs, especially "Soyons Amis."

Best wishes for your little guy. I really feel that all children need to learn, and deserve to learn, even when the school system insists that the gifted ones will "get by" without any extra help.

 

[missypie]

Just keep those books coming. Don't think of skipping a grade without a full battery of tests conducted by a qualified psychologist (even if you have to pay for it). We had our son tested in the second semester of 4th grade...he tested 12th grade+ in reading and reading comprehension; however, there was one skill for which he tested at 3rd grade level and a couple of others for which he was at grade level.

 

[Towncrier]

Your story sounds familiar. Our daughter started reading at around 2 years old. We tried to get the schools to let her into kindergarten "early", but our school system would not bend. We had her tested at a private school where she could have been admitted to their pre-K program and subsequently their kindergarten program a year earlier than public school. But even armed with that information, our public school would not bend.

Now for the positive. In half day kindergarten, Sarah was allowed to attend first grade in the afternoon. At the end of kindergarten, we asked if she could skip first grade. Again the school said no. In first grade, she attended second grade math. But we realized that there was no way that she was going to be allowed to skip a grade and move ahead. Although we were disappointed, we were blessed with teachers who understood how special our daughter was. All of her teachers gave her special assignments that challenged her. For example, when her classmates had to write a one page book report, Sarah was expected to write a much more comprehensive multi page report. All of her teachers throughout elementary school continued to nurture her.

She is now in 8th grade and very well adjusted to school. Could she have skipped a grade or started kindergarten early? You bet. But she still loves school and the challenges that it presents to her. She isn't the most popular girl in her class, but she has a circle of friends.

I suggest that you speak with your son's teacher and see if she can give him just a little special attention and to raise the bar for him. That's the best advice that I can pass on to you.

 

[cruisnfamily]

Originally posted by klmklm
For the reading, at first it is easy to let them just read harder books, but as you get up into the middle school reading levels, a lot of the books are dealing with issues that are too heavy for little kids (e.g., abuse, the Holocaust).

This is sooo true! DS is waaay ahead in reading. He's in the 2nd grade and reading on a 6th grade level. You're right about the content of the books...at age 8, he doesn't need to read any boy/girl relationship kind of books and there are lots and lots of those out there. He also doesn't need "heavy" reading(as you mentioned). Right now we're on a "dog" kick reading all the dog books we can find for him(Shiloh, Big Red, etc). Before that he read all the Great Illustrated Classics(Reading level of 4th-6th grade). So, at age 8 he's read Peter Pan, Robin Hood, Oliver Twist and the list goes on.

He's also way ahead in Math and catches on to most new concepts really quickly. We've had him tested twice, once in 1st grade privately and once in 2nd grade thru the school and he is NOT gifted. Apparently just being ahead doesn't make you gifted. There are other things they look for in the psychological testing and he didn't have those things I guess. We're very happy with our school and DS is not bored in class. We were surprised the results didn't come back gifted as he is so far ahead but after 2 different tests, we believe them. He's just a bright little boy and he's pretty happy with the way things are.

Anyway, I would continue with your DS as is. Make sure he is being adequately challenged in his work at school and keep in contact with the teacher. As long as he's not bored, just let him go. As he gets older there will be more opportunities thru the school for enrichment and such and you can take advantage of those at that time.

Good luck!

 

[aprincessmom]

DD was the same. Her early teachers suggested moving her ahead. She missed the cut off so she was older than some other children in her class and way ahead because she had gone to a private school with smaller class sizes and full day kindergarden.

But I wouldn't do it. My feeling is there are two parts of learning...the book learning and the emotional learning. And I figured I could keep her engaged academically but she needed to stay with her peers and learn those valuable lessons that all children need to learn with a group of their peers...how to get along together, how to work as a group, how to socialize and work as a community.

The great thing is DD has had some good experiences helping other children read and do math and science. Her teachers have used her within the class, paired her up with children who may not be as advanced. It has done a few things...first, it has given DD a valuable lesson in how people all learn differently. She has a better appreciation for that and is less likely to term someone as dumb or stupid because they don't learn as quickly as she does. It's also helped her as she moves into new academic areas where she may not learn as quickly as she did other concepts.

The second thing is that these children seem to work better as a community...everyone helps, everyone learns, everyone thrives. Friendships are forged between children who may not have had any other interaction...the children gain respect for each other and their abilities. When someone who has been having trouble gets a concept and is successful, everyone gets to share in that victory. A very valuable life lesson to learn early in life.

The reality is that not all children learn at the same rate. Furthermore, many children who excel early will normalize into the rest of the pack come 4th, 5th and 6th grades. That's just life. Just because your child can read chapter books doesn't mean he or she understands all that he or she is reading. Reading is far more than words on a page...it is comprehension, being able to retell the story back. Many children have the mechanics of reading down pat but the actual exercise of reading comes later. And just because a child can multiply or divide early on doesn't mean that they truly understand how they got the answers. Sometimes it's just rote memorization.

So much goes into academic learning. When you add that in with the socialization it can get overwhelming. As the last poster stated, being ahead academically doesn't necessarily mean your child is gifted. My child is academically ahead but she's still only 8 which means she has the responses and maturity level of an 8 year old despite the fact she's testing for reading comprehension at a 4th grade level, is doing 4th grade spelling tests, and is tracking at 5th grade level for math concepts. Sometimes when talking to her about the presidential election, the economic climate, or other more grown up things that she likes to discuss it's hard to remember that. But then she'll come out with a statement that pulls you back to reality and reminds you she is 8.

You can keep your child engaged academically and work to supplement his education. It's easier to do this than it would be to have him skip a grade and fail because of socialization/maturity issues.

In the end you need to let your child guide you in your decision. If he is happy where he is, then be happy, too.

 

[peg2001]

Originally posted by aprincessmom
Just because your child can read chapter books doesn't mean he or she understands all that he or she is reading. Reading is far more than words on a page...it is comprehension, being able to retell the story back. Many children have the mechanics of reading down pat but the actual exercise of reading comes later.

Do you really think a child would continue reading chapter books if they didn't understand what they were reading? I don't.

Peggy

 

[Briar Rose 7457]

Educational reality check. If you have a limited budget you're more likely to spend on support services for low end achievers, to bring them up to the middle range, than for enrichment for high end achievers.

I don't think a return to homogeneous classes (classes made up of children of similar ability) serves any purpose, but I hate to see potential wasted if highly capable children aren't encouraged to use their abilities.

Our solution was to enroll my daughter in a Saturday morning program at a local college. the enrichment classes were given only to those who are considered "gifted". No grades were given in class, the purpose was learning for its own sake. My daughter thrived in that environment.

 

[Rutt and Tuke]

Originally posted by aprincessmom


The great thing is DD has had some good experiences helping other children read and do math and science. Her teachers have used her within the class, paired her up with children who may not be as advanced. It has done a few things...first, it has given DD a valuable lesson in how people all learn differently. She has a better appreciation for that and is less likely to term someone as dumb or stupid because they don't learn as quickly as she does. It's also helped her as she moves into new academic areas where she may not learn as quickly as she did other concepts.

The second thing is that these children seem to work better as a community...everyone helps, everyone learns, everyone thrives. Friendships are forged between children who may not have had any other interaction...the children gain respect for each other and their abilities. When someone who has been having trouble gets a concept and is successful, everyone gets to share in that victory. A very valuable life lesson to learn early in life.

.

I just wanted to applaud you on recognizing these benefits. I think too often parents don't see the value of their more advanced children doing this sort of thing and instead feel like the teacher is "using" their child to lessen the teacher's workload.

 

[6_Time_Momma]

Do you really think a child would continue reading chapter books if they didn't understand what they were reading? I don't.

Oh, yes they will still read even if they don't get what they're reading. They love just knowing the words. Yes, comprehension is, indeed, different than just reading and just because they are reading chapter books doesn't mean they are comprehending it. (not saying this is the case with the OP child, though)

Selena will be 4 when she starts kindergarden.

 

[HeyMickey]

I skipped second grade. Believe it or not, people can do that and come out completely normal.

I was bored STIFF in first grade. We had "gifted" math and reading classes and I wasn't learning anything in those, either. About halfway through the year my teacher started sending me to the second grade class for part of the day to learn cursive writing, which was really the only thing I had to catch up on. That way when I actually changed grades a couple months later I knew the kids already and had made some friends.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that if your kid is ready for it, skipping a grade at that age is no big deal. In fact, he may actually welcome the change and the chance to be with people who are more his equals academically. I don't feel that I'm socially stunted or anything.. in fact, if anything, it improved my social development to be around more advanced kids. I remember being frustrated in kindergarden because the other kids sometimes didn't understand the words I used.

Of course my (public) school was very supportive (perhaps the only time in my career there when they ever were) and that made things a lot easier. If all yours will do for you is toss him into a class in the next grade up, I agree that you need to not do that.

Wanna know the biggest problem I ever encountered by skipping a grade? My friends are all now of legal drinking age, but I can't go out some places with them because my 21st isn't for another six months.

 

[Karel]

Originally posted by aprincessmom
The great thing is DD has had some good experiences helping other children read and do math and science. Her teachers have used her within the class, paired her up with children who may not be as advanced. It has done a few things...first, it has given DD a valuable lesson in how people all learn differently. She has a better appreciation for that and is less likely to term someone as dumb or stupid because they don't learn as quickly as she does. It's also helped her as she moves into new academic areas where she may not learn as quickly as she did other concepts.

Wow. What a great attitude! And stated so well too. As a mother of a special ed child, I thank you. It's a great argument for mainstreaming. My child needs to be friends with more children like that. They can teach him so much but I'd like to think that he could teach the 'smarties' something too.

A teacher friend of mine tells me that by fifth grade, it's hard to tell the early readers apart from the ones that picked it up later. By then, a lot of the kids are on the same level educationally.

 

[peg2001]

Originally posted by Karel

A teacher friend of mine tells me that by fifth grade, it's hard to tell the early readers apart from the ones that picked it up later. By then, a lot of the kids are on the same level educationally.

Public education, the great equalizer.

 

[CJMickeyMouse]

Originally posted by peg2001
Public education, the great equalizer.

LOL! My thoughts exactly!

 

[speedi-deedi]

Thanks for your post HeyMickey. I'm another one in the minority here...sometimes it really can be best for the child to skip a grade. My DS was moved to 1st grade halfway through kindergarten. We initially were against the idea (it was the school's suggestion), but after lots of reading about acceleration and studies on children that had/had not been accelerated, decided to go ahead and move him.

We are lucky enough to live in one of the supposed best school districts in the country, and we have enrichment classes beginning in 1st grade. They were sending him to those in Kindergarten....

Timing - the earlier the better. I actually love that he will remember both K and first grade, and it was early enough that it wasn't as hard friend-wise.
Social - very important. In our case, they said the other kids in his K class already knew he was different. They thought he would fit in better with the next grade. Know what? They were right.
Academic - Must be ahead in all areas. His reading (even comprehension!) was testing out at 7th and 8th grade. They also did extensive testing in math and writing before recommending he be moved.

In my view, none of the answers are perfect for a child who is nearly outside the bell curve. You just have to decide which option is the best fit considering all of the circumstances.

One thing we did was leave him on all the teams (baseball, soccer, basketball) with his age, so he stays connected with kids his own age too. He's got friends in both grades, which is what we hoped for. (This interest/ability in sports is part of what his 1st grade teacher attributed his easy acceptance in first grade to - he fit right in on the soccer field, so it became natural to include him at the lunch table, etc.)

HeyMickey - I think those age-hurdles (driving, drinking) will be some of the toughest but I thank you for taking the time to add your positive experience.

 

[Stepharoonie!]

Congrats on having such a bright reader!! It's so hard to get kids to read these days...