DS 7 with Autism: wheeping meltdowns?

[disney-super-mom]

I know a lot of kids on the spectrum have meltdowns and become out of control. However, my DS 7 never gets like that. Instead, when he gets frustrated, he starts wheeping. Does that seem strange?

I've done so much research and talked to so many doctors over the last few years about this, but I can't find anything about Autism spectrum kids and wheeping/crying. And the doctors just kind of dismiss it.

Does anyone else have this problem with their child? What do you do about it?

 

[loving mom of two]

Hi Disney-Super-Mom,

I also have a DS on the autism spectrum who wheeps/cries when he is frustrated or overwhelmed. We do not experience temper trantrums, just the crying bouts. He turned 12 this past summer and I worry about the other kids at school making fun of him because he cries at the drop of a hat.

What I try to do when this happens is remove him from the situation so he can calm down. Unfortunately, not is not always possible depending on where we are at the time. DS has just joined a friendship group in our area that is run by occupational therapists. Once a week he gets to interact with other kids his age that also are on the spectrum. They are currently working on how to control their emotions. This program is WONDERFUL and DS has shown great improvement since we started. I don't know if they offer such a program in your area, but it definately is worth looking into.

Good luck and God bless!

 

[Earstou]

Now that my ds is older, we get more crying then we did when he was younger. I think that is due to the fact that he has learned that acting out is not a good answer, so he becomes so frustrated that he cries now.

I don't know if your ds is on meds, but our doctor told us that ritalin and similar meds can increase weepiness.

 

[disneygal66]

My DS 6 who is on the spectrum has a lot of meltdowns but he also cries easily and often. My DS 11 who is ADHD and Anxiety used to be a HUGE crier when things didn't go his way or when he was frustrated. It seems like as he got older, the tears became less frequent. I also worry about the other kids making fun of my boys! Kids in general can be mean rotten people. I don't know but maybe there is some medication that could help if you want to go that route. I wish there was something else I could say or advice I could give. But I think it is somewhat common.

 

[disney-super-mom]

No, My DS Ryan is not on any meds. Last fall he was briefly on a medication for anxiety (for about a month) just to get him over the hump when starting a new school year. Luckily when this school year started it was much better with only a few "wheeping" meltdowns, so we didn't have to do any meds.

Ryan has a very gentle soul, and has never become physically violent or had kicking and screaming trantrums, just the wheeping thing. It can happen over any little thing. I just find it odd that there's no literature on this in relation to autism spectrum disorders.

All I can do is try to distract him, change the subject or situation, in order to get him to calm down. He won't let us comfort him when he gets like this - if we try it can actually make it worse - so we just leave him alone for a little while, which gives him time to get himself calmed down and back together again.

It just makes me feel so bad for him, suffering alone like that. Poor little guy.

 

[loving mom of two]

My DS's name is also Ryan and they sound so much alike. My son also has a very gentle soul and so far has never hit or kicked. When we try to calm him down, it also makes him worse. Sounds like our boys are a lot alike.

 

[KirstenB]

I don't have a child with autism, but I long-term substitute taught as a special ed teacher. Our 2nd grader with autism would weep when frustrated. Tears would just stream out of his face like a waterfall. This would happen once every 2-3 days, sometimes in my classroom, sometimes in the class he was mainstreamed into for Social Studies and Science. I always felt really bad, he just looked so incredibly vulnerable. I wish I knew the trigger, but I could never put my finger on it.

 

[Taratink]

My DS7 (AS) is often wheepy. It is usually when he is stressed out or nervous. I get really sad when he breaksdown. It is hard and there is not much I can do to help. I understand. He does not cry daily but he cries a lot more than the average 7 year old. Maybe more like a 4 year old. He tries to be tough and he tells me that his eyes are sweating.
Tara

 

[hookedup]

I have noticed this about my ds' meltdowns. Sometimes he does get very angry when he meltsdown, but more often he is just a sobbing mess. I have noticed that his sensory needs seem to affect what kind of meltdown he has. He is a very SID kiddo. In our case there seems to be some sort of correlation between his sensory functioning at the time and what type of meltdown he has.

 

[TEWINOHIO]

My son Jonathan does this too. At times he will just start crying. He is 12 and this just started really in the last couple of years. Seems like as he gets older there are less tantrums, and more crying.

I do not know what the answer is for sure. The way I handle it, is to comfort him like I would any of my kids when they are sad and crying. Talk to him in a soft, compassionate voice. Tell him that I am sorry he is sad, and that it is ok to be sad and cry. Basically trying to let him know it is ok to show his emotions and that I care that he is sad. Jon does not not really communicate verbally other than single words and short phrases. But he understands alot more than I give him credit for.

I had something happen with him a few weeks back. I went to pick him up at his after school program and was talking to one of the teachers about something he did that day. I was joking with her ( they accept Jon and love him to pieces ) and made a comment something along the lines of "oh Jonathan what are we going to do with him...I wonder if he will ever figure it out."

He had a good day, but got in the car and started crying. At that point in time it hit me...he may not talk much....but I had fallen into the trap of assuming that he was not listening or understanding everything I say. Like any kid. It struck me..did I hurt his feelings?

And at that point...daddy went home and cried!

But at that point...daddy also learned something very important ...

I am very interested too in hearing what others are experiencing.

 

[Foohound]

My DD is 5 years old she has a DX autism. She gets very emotional and cries very easily. She is in the minority being a girl with autism so people accept crying from her more than a boy I guess. We went through years of meltdowns, and screaming rages that lasted for hours. She has been seeing a specialist in the autism field for two years now. He has given me a lot of information regarding her emotional issues, and crying is the one thing many children with autism can do just like any other child. This is how they show us what they are feeling, and yes they do have feelings regardless of what most people think of autism. If they do not have the words, the use what they have which is their body language. With my DD, we let her calm down and she always tells me when she is ready for interaction. She is very smart and understands everything that is being said to her and about her. We have had to learn the hard way to watch everything we say or do around her.
She is the light of my life and my only child and I would give anything to help her. The main thing I can do for her is to give her as much positive encouragment and love as I can. Her whole face lights up when I tell her how proud I am of her!!!

 

[Judy from Boise]

My DD has HFA, she is now 15 and doing very well, but when she was younger she cried when frustrated or over stimulated.
What worked for us is I would get her on my lap, and hold her very tightly, pressing as much of her body to my body as I could (but gently....no pain, just nice firm pressure) and then i would rock us both. I would keep rocking until she calmed.......

The other thing that always happened is whenever we returned from a trip (usually Disney) she always woke up crying around 3 am. Even when we had perfect trips, it seemed like her body just needed the release once she completly relaxed.

 

[Foohound]

Judy,

Thanks for posting your reply, your daughter is beautiful.

It gives me have hope to see teenagers with HFA doing so well. My DD is only 5 and her father and I worry about what she will face when she gets older.

thanks again,

FooHound