DS 18 is not getting a graduation party. UPDATE; somewhere on Page 10

[DawnCt1]

DS 18 is a very nice kid. He is polite, considerate and respectful. He is very bright. He has not been a good student. He is graduating tomorrow. There were classes that he "blew off" during his high school years leaving him short of credits. As a result he had to repeat geometry during summer school last year that I made him pay for. Again, he was short one credit which could only be made up by taking 2 college courses at the local community college. (6 college credits equal 1 high school credit). During the last semester he took 9 courses, including the night school college courses. He is graduating tomorrow. I am glad. He needs to "move on" and "grow up". He is not happy that he isn't having a graduation party. To him its an opportunity to recieve gifts a kudos. While he is indeed graduating, the hard work came at the end of his high school years, not a steady effort through out. I consider that he is 'escaping' high school and did not distinguish himself, other than be the only student ever that had to take 9 courses during the last semester to graduate. The vice principal told me today that he had a "good senior year". I am not sure what that means because he didn't qualify for the good student driving discount, which is why he doesn't have his license yet. Does he really deserve a party?????

 

[becka]

Well I am not sure that he deserves a huge blow-out but I still consider graduating to be something worth celebrating. How about just a small family and close friends cookout? Surely the work he has put into graduating (no matter how late) is worth recognizing.

 

[MosMom]

It sounds to me like he worked pretty hard after making mistakes to graduate. There are many kids that would have just dropped out rather than pay for their own classes to pick up the slack. Don't be such a hard *** and give the kid a party.

 

[Taylor]

I agree with your stance Dawn.

Hold your ground.

 

[lil mermaid]

How about a small party? Sounds like he got his act together after making mistakes.

Yeah, give the kid a party. Especially if, as you say, he is a "nice kid."

 

[Toby'sFriend]

Wow Dawn I'm just speechless.
I mean, it's a cake from the the grocery store and some cheap invitations you send out to family members --- not a Nobel Peace prize.

He graduated. He even pulled it together enough to take and pass 9 classes his senior year. Those are all things that millions of kids DON'T do. Exactly how many years of penance are you planning on making the kid serve to make up for being a screwy 15 year old boy?

Truly, I hope that this isn't something that you look back on twenty years from now with some regret. You really only get one chance in your kids lifetime to throw them a High School graduation party.

 

[NewJersey]

I agree with the above posters. He still worked hard to graduate and maybe he's not "entitled" to a "full" party but at least have some sort of family/close friends party or all go out to a nice restaurant together. I think he deserves to be recognized that although he made some mistakes, he worked his butt off to graduate. He could have dropped out or even got in with the really bad crowd. Give credit where credit is due.

Yeesh, some people are a bit harsh on here.

 

[LadyZolt]

I have to say I wouldn't give him a party either. He's almost an adult and he has to learn there are consequences for his actions. I say if he wants a party, he can have one if he plans it, pays for it, etc. This is exactly the time to be a "hard----" If you give him a party, you're telling him what he did was all right (it's not).

By the way, my DS17 sounds a bit like yours. He graduated in May, but only after having to do some online courses that he assured us last August he would have done by February, but of course, he didn't even start them until February, so didn't complete them until just two weeks before graduating. He slid into that graduation by the skin of his teeth. Of course, he did NOT get a party. He's lucky he got a card from us. LOL! Hold your ground. This is a life lesson and the sooner he learns it, the better.

-Dorothy (LadyZolt)

 

[The Mystery Machine]

I also consider graduating HS something to be proud of. My DH did not graduate HS. He did graduate from college.
My parents didn't give any of us a party now that I think about it.
We might have gone out to dinner to celebrate but that was it.

 

[zurgswife]

My mom made me change my after graduation plans and work instead of celebrating with my friends at the beach.....that was 25 yrs ago and I still feel regret about her making me do it. The little things sometimes hurt more then you realize.

I think while it is a small thing to you. If he graduated and pulled it together during his senior yr. Throw him a party not huge but a party to celebrate his accomplishment.

 

[Galahad]

What do you hope he will learn by not having a party?

 

[MoniqueU]

I usually agree with you Dawn but not this time. I think it is a better lesson learned to learn how to battle back from adversity, which your son did then to get it right the first time. I think he deserves a party more so then some kids that just skate through on straight As from the get go. My daughter gets straight As and puts nearly no effort into it. It sounds like your son put some effort into it along the way sometime. Please rethink this.

 

[DawnCt1]

I agree with the above posters. He still worked hard to graduate and maybe he's not "entitled" to a "full" party but at least have some sort of family/close friends party or all go out to a nice restaurant together. I think he deserves to be recognized that although he made some mistakes, he worked his butt off to graduate. He could have dropped out or even got in with the really bad crowd. Give credit where credit is due.

I actually haven't ruled out that compromise. A dinner in a restaurant, a small cook out. We have a very small family so a huge party isn't in the cards anyway. He worked hard to a point. I didn't see him doing a lot of homework. I saw him scrambling at the last minute. He got a C in one of his college course and he got an A in the college Acting course. No surprise there. He also had some other issues that emerged that weren't his fault at all and were beyond his control, that served as a distraction, but that is a long story.

 

[LindsayDunn228]

I don't get why graduation parties are so big. When I graduated from high school AND college, all I did was go out to eat with family. That's it, no party, and I had a blast.

I say take him out to eat and call it a day.

 

[momrek06]

Dawn: Life's Hard Lessons...are undoubtely the most lasting...DS will remember this and MOST LIKELY one day maybe sooner than later...actually will call you up on the phone and say..."hey, mom, thanks for being you!"...

Be proud, Dawn, of your choices you choose to make

BTW: I am absolutely sure your DS is a good kid...but stand your ground!!!

 

[Cool-Beans]

If my very bad student manages to graduate from high school - even by the skin of his teeth - I'm throwing a party.

If I were you, I'd have the party.

 

[KelNottAt]

When I first read your post, I was like "Darn tootin' that boy must be capable of more than he produced. No party for him!"

Then I read all the other posts and was like, "Welllll, he worked hard and pulled it out in the end. That can't go unnoticed."

So, now I don't know what to think. The only thing that comes to mind is a "college farewell party" in August. Maybe he's only going to community college or trade school. But, a party in his honor might boost his self confidence and self esteem while demonstrating your faith in him.

Good luck. I'll be interested to hear what he does in the fall. With my son entering 9th grade, I'm not ruling out the possibility that my "nice, respectful, intelligent" kid will goof off a little too much.

 

[NewJersey]

I actually haven't ruled out that compromise. A dinner in a restaurant, a small cook out. We have a very small family so a huge party isn't in the cards anyway. He worked hard to a point. I didn't see him doing a lot of homework. I saw him scrambling at the last minute. He got a C in one of his college course and he got an A in the college Acting course. No surprise there. He also had some other issues that emerged that weren't his fault at all and were beyond his control, that served as a distraction, but that is a long story.

Dawn...teens being lazy? What a foreign concept!

Being sarcastic, of course! I think the compromise is a great idea. I'm sure he would feel great to know that the family is recognizing his great accomplishment, even if he made mistakes, or skirted by, or whatever. Fact is, he still graduated.

I picked a Disney vacation instead of a college graduation party, but I guess that's out of the question here!

 

[lillygator]

how was he allowed to blow off classes?

ETA - I mean who wasn't paying attention here? And he's more thatn made up to be able to graduate hasn't he?

 

[MosMom]

I just think you should spread some of that compassion that you have for Britney Spears over to your own son.