I am trying not to take offense at this. We have tried time outs, reward charts, all types of positive reinforcement, taking toys away, spanking, etc. Everything. And yes, we are consistent. We've tried it all, and NOTHING works. We may be looking at a bigger issue with him. Since we also have an 18-month-old, for safety's sake we go almost nowhere. He hasn't been in a pool since he was a baby. This is such a sensitive issue with me - my cousin lost her son to drowning as a toddler. In part due to that, and also just my nature, I am the very definition of a helicopter parent. I realize you don't know me, and I am certainly not a perfect parent, but I don't like the implication that better parenting will "fix" my child. In some cases yes, but in some, definitely no. I might not have believed that if I didn't have the child that I do (although I have 2 younger sisters who acted similarly, so it wasn't a complete shock). No matter the type of child I was blessed with, I cannot imagine ever being presumptuous enough to think it could never happen to me.
My heart is breaking for this family.