Driving off before you get into the building

[smiths02]

If you are dropping a spouse off at work or home in the daylight and they forget their keys, could they not just call you? If they forgot their phone, could they not just ask a coworker or neighbor to contact you?

I feel like I don't want to be watched like a child. What if I am dropped at home but I want to collect the mail or trash cans first? Then I have to feel like I am being watched or wasting someone else's time (or I have to go in, close the door, and come back out).

 

[VandVsmama]

If I'm dropping off my kids somewhere like somebody's house, I wait until they get inside. When dropping off somebody else's kids? Every time I wait to confirm they got inside safe. If it's an adult woman and it's in the evening or late at night? I always wait to see that they're inside.

 

[indimom]

We wait. For anyone. Id like to say it's just how we roll, but probably has more to do with the times we've been locked out in the pre-cell years.

 

[pezgirlroy]

I am curious if the folks who are saying they they do not need to be watched are men. Just curious. To me it is just common courtesy to wait and as a woman I always appreciate that someone waits.

 

[mom2rtk]

I'm a woman and find it mildly patronizing.

 

[gillep]

I was taught growing up to always wait, so that's what I do regardless of who I am dropping off where. I have an older car, so I can't do calls through it and don't use my cell while driving, so I would rather wait to ensure the person gets inside before I pull away as I would be unreachable for a bit once I drive away.

 

[smiths02]

I am curious if the folks who are saying they they do not need to be watched are men. Just curious. To me it is just common courtesy to wait and as a woman I always appreciate that someone waits.

I'm a woman and find it mildly patronizing.

I am a woman and find it mildly patronizing except maybe at night or somewhere known to be dangerous or in the middle of nowhere or a deserted place (like if I was working at 5 am when everyone else comes in at 7).
I drive to work and home myself all the time without anyone watching me, so why does being dropped off make it different?

I can also see it as a nice gesture, though. I wouldn't be offended either way. I just think it can be perceived as "rude" either way.

 

[smiths02]

I should add to the woman thing. I can't imagine watching my spouse, who is a trained law enforcement officer, walk into work or our house to make sure he made it in okay.

 

[disneychrista]

I do usually wait if we are dropping off one of my kids' friends. I guess I feel more responsible for them

This is about the only scenario where I feel that you should wait to make sure they get inside okay.

I am curious if the folks who are saying they they do not need to be watched are men. Just curious. To me it is just common courtesy to wait and as a woman I always appreciate that someone waits.

Female here and do not need to be watched to make sure I get inside okay. I did have an old male friend walk me to my car after we had dinner, we drove separately and met at the restaurant. He said he needed to make sure I got in my car before he left. Not sure why but whatever.

 

[kimblebee]

I honestly have never paid attention. But I rarely get "dropped off" any where. And haven't have an other that was significant in too long to remember.



Curious as to why?

It’s a manners thing. Why not take the two minutes to make sure the person gets to, and in, the door safely?

 

[gtpoohbear]

I am curious if the folks who are saying they they do not need to be watched are men. Just curious. To me it is just common courtesy to wait and as a woman I always appreciate that someone waits.

I am a woman and definitely do not need to be watched. Maybe because we never have cause to drop each other off anywhere that it would matter. I routinely walk around outside by myself in any of the places I can imagine ever being dropped off at, so what difference would it make for DH (or anyone else) to watch me go inside? He could watch to make sure I get into the house okay, but then 5 minutes later I may walk outside to go down the street and get the mail. No one is watching me then. And if he happens to drop me off somewhere else, it's likely that it's a place I would normally have driven myself to anyway, again with no one looking out for me. I suppose if either of us was dropping the other off in a sketchy neighborhood late at night, it might be wise to wait. But I can't imagine a scenario when we would be doing that. If it were to happen, I don't see the gender being a determining factor. Either you are someplace safe, or you are not.

 

[pearlieq]

Of course. It's just basic caring and kindness.

 

[Buckeye218]

I am a man and I always stay and watch my wife enter a building, but would not expect her to stay around and watch me. I also open every door for her, car, restaurant, whatever. Guess I'm old-fashioned but I don't care. I asked my wife if she feels this is patronizing and she said "not in the least". I am her protector and that's how I was raised.

 

[luvsJack]

This is about the only scenario where I feel that you should wait to make sure they get inside okay.



Female here and do not need to be watched to make sure I get inside okay. I did have an old male friend walk me to my car after we had dinner, we drove separately and met at the restaurant. He said he needed to make sure I got in my car before he left. Not sure why but whatever.

Dd is grown and married. If she and I go shopping and I am dropping her off after dark or bit before and before sil gets home from work, I wait until she is inside and turns on an inside light. If it’s daytime, I wait until I see the dogs come to the door to go out. It’s just a “make sure she is ok” thing. She is quite capable of taking care of herself but I like to make sure she is ok. My mom did the same for me.

I still do it with my adult sons too but more out of habit than anything else. But if it’s dark, my headlights tend to give them a little extra light to get in or find their keys or whatever.

Honestly it’s as much for me as it is for them. It makes me feel assured that they got in ok.

If any of them are dropping me off at home, they do the same.

It’s not anyone thinking someone else can’t walk to the door or take care of themselves. It’s just a way that we show we care that each of us are ok. And like the pp said, it’s good manners.

 

[DISNEYSQUIRRELS]

Yes
& I always wait when I drop anyone off too.

 

[AuntieMe3]

I try and wait if I can, even if it means driving around the parking lot so I'm not blocking traffic. I've had to turn around for someone before because they couldn't get in somewhere or forgot something in the car.

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

It's situational.

Someone's house? Depends

Work? No.

Sketchy area? Yes

And I do agree with some posters the set up of the area makes a difference too. There are places where stopping and waiting is highly impractical.

 

[Jennasis]

I wait and DH waits.

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

But if it’s dark, my headlights tend to give them a little extra light to get in or find their keys or whatever.

15 years ago this would have made a lot more sense. These days pretty much everyone has a cell phone on them with the flashlight option. There's also keychain flashlights.

In all honesty though there's not been too many situations where a headlight would have actually made it easier to get in or find my keys because of how the light hits objects, the angle of the light, the distance of the car, etc. The headlight is not in line with my front door (and if I'm standing there I'm blocking any light), the car is too far away and would be facing my garage anyways (my garage door has a lighted key pad) and it won't help me dig into my purse to find the keys that somehow always end up at the bottom lol.

But that's in the situations I can really think of not saying it can never ever help.

ETA: Actually I can think back closer to 17+ years ago when my mom didn't have an automatic garage door and instead you had to get out and use the handle to lift. Now that would be a case where headlights would actually help.

 

[CdnCarrie]

I do if I'm dropping off a female friend late at night which happens once or twice a month (they don't drive). Lives downtown in a apartment complex. Downtown isn't completely safe. I wait until I see that she has gotten through the security door.

Rare time my husband drops me off at work he doesn't and I wouldn't expect him to. It's rush hour traffic at a huge public building.