Dreaming about dead parents

[Rylee]

My Mom died last Nov. Today is her birthday.

I've only had 2 dreams about her, both were right after she died.

In my dreams, as she approached me, I was so happy to see her, I screamed, and I mean I really screamed, "MOM!"

Some people believe when they come to you in your dreams, they're letting you know they're nearby and alright. When I told them about my dreams and that I haven't had any since, they said, "Well, stop screaming at her."

I woke up very upset after both dreams, so if there is any possible truth about what others believe, I don't think my mother will choose to come to me in my dreams because she'll feel it was to disturbing for me, and she would never want to upset me.

I miss her so much.

 

[southern_belle21]

My Mom died last Nov. Today is her birthday.

I've only had 2 dreams about her, both were right after she died.

In my dreams, as she approached me, I was so happy to see her, I screamed, and I mean I really screamed, "MOM!"

Some people believe when they come to you in your dreams, they're letting you know they're nearby and alright. When I told them about my dreams and that I haven't had any since, they said, "Well, stop screaming at her."

I woke up very upset after both dreams, so if there is any possible truth about what others believe, I don't think my mother will choose to come to me in my dreams because she'll feel it was to disturbing for me, and she would never want to upset me.

I miss her so much.

Happy birthday to your mom I know how you feel. Truly. I miss my mom every single day. As for the dreams, I feel the same way! My mom and I were so very close, and I can't imagine that she would want to upset me like that. I was the youngest, and I took care of her when she had cancer, so I would hope that she wouldn't want me to wake up and be so upset. I'm so sorry for you. I usually go put flowers on my moms grave for her birthday (which is in August) but this year I didn't, so I'm thinking of finding some Fall flowers to put on it instead. Sometimes I feel like I was much too young to lose my mom, but then I'm so thankful that I had her as long as I did! She and my grandma raised me, and I had the happiest childhood/teenage years I could wish for. I'm glad that she got to see me get married, but I tell friends that, as terrible as it sounds, I don't know if I can have kids, because I won't have my mom there for me. I know that sounds so selfish, and I do have a MIL, but she has 5 other grandchildren already, and she stays so busy, I don't think she would really be there as much as I'd like her to be. No one is like your mom.

 

[LovetheMouse12302]

My dad died August of last year, he had cancer and he really struggled the last month of his life. He declined very quickly. One day he was acting like he was recovering and then the next day he went into a coma. It was very upsetting thinking I'd never be able to tell him bye. I was also 16 weeks pregnant, I was sad he wouldn't get to see my baby. Then he pulled out of the coma. It was for a few hours. I was able to hold his hand and talk to him. He started to improve so I left to get rest. He was able to talk and he knew who I was. We said we loved each other and I told him I'd be back in the morning. I got the call that he passed away right after I got home. I was really upset with myself for awhile for leaving him.

I think about him often and sometimes dream about him. My dreams are always good. We are going someplace fun or he's almost being my hero and saving all my problems in my dreams. They feel very real! My son (age 5) use to dream about my dad at first. He said he would do it so he'd never forget him. They were very close!

My mom also would daydream about my dad. My parents were in the process of remodeling their house and it was my dads dream to finish it. He even begged the nurses to let him go back home to work some more when he could barely even move. My mom thought for awhile that she would spot my dad working on the house after he died. One time she walked out her back door and thought my dad was working in the flowers. She said he wasn't sick and he turned around and smiled real big at her and then faded away. She didn't want him to go again. I don't think that's happened recently, but it did often after his death. I find comfort in the fact we all see dad in a happy and healthy way. I think he is telling us not to be sad, that he's okay. Sorry my post is so long!!!! Feels good to talk to others.

 

[Rylee]

Happy birthday to your mom I know how you feel. Truly. I miss my mom every single day. As for the dreams, I feel the same way! My mom and I were so very close, and I can't imagine that she would want to upset me like that. I was the youngest, and I took care of her when she had cancer, so I would hope that she wouldn't want me to wake up and be so upset. I'm so sorry for you. I usually go put flowers on my moms grave for her birthday (which is in August) but this year I didn't, so I'm thinking of finding some Fall flowers to put on it instead. Sometimes I feel like I was much too young to lose my mom, but then I'm so thankful that I had her as long as I did! She and my grandma raised me, and I had the happiest childhood/teenage years I could wish for. I'm glad that she got to see me get married, but I tell friends that, as terrible as it sounds, I don't know if I can have kids, because I won't have my mom there for me. I know that sounds so selfish, and I do have a MIL, but she has 5 other grandchildren already, and she stays so busy, I don't think she would really be there as much as I'd like her to be. No one is like your mom.

Thank you.

Today, for her birthday, we bought 2 purple asters and a yellow mum. It was a gloomy day, cloudy and dismal. My 3 daughters and I went to the cemetery early this evening, while DH stayed home with younger boys.

Just as I bent down to place the flowers, a few drops of water fell onto her headstone. Honestly, I thought they were tear drops from one of my girls. One of the girls said, "Nana is crying." Although the girls were crying, I realized they were raindrops, just a few sprinkles. As the 4 of us stood there holding each other in silence, suddenly, a rainbow appeared. We all smiled through our tears because all of us knew that rainbow was my mother's gift to us. Her way of easing our pain.

The girls capture it on their phones. I wish I knew how to post pictures, with the colorful flowers on the ground and the rainbow against the gray sky, the pictures are beautiful. The girls have it on the facebook page and my youngest daughter wrote...

When I cried, you cried.
When I stopped, you stopped.
Thank you for smiling and sending a rainbow my way.
Happy Birthday Nana, I love you and miss you.

_____________________________________________

I can definitely understand how much it would mean to have your Mom there for you and any future children. If having children is something you and your DH want, I hope, in time, you can come to see it as a way of having your mother live on from one generation to the next. She won't be there to share in your joy or give advice, but you can keep her memory alive by following some of your family/childhood traditions and telling them stories about your Mom. And, who knows, they might even have her eyes or her smile!

I was pregnant with our youngest when DH's mother died. After we learned we were having a boy, I said to DH's father... "I wish we had known the sex before Rosalyn died, so we could have told her it's a boy." Being a very religious man, he smiled and said... "She knows. She knew before you did."

 

[hereyago]

I am sorry for everyone"s losses.lovethemouse12302: I was sobbing reading your post. I hope you no longer are upset with yourself for leaving your df. Sometimes people get "better" just to say what needs to be said then they can move on. The day my df passed away from lung cancer we both knew he would be gone by a certain time,it was weird. Well we said what needed to be said and I gave him a picture of my dd(which he had in his hand when he passed away) and I left. Well some time later it was like I was a puppet on a string and I sat up suddenly with something telling me I had to go see him.now he had been in icu,dd was too young,but I felt an urgency to go. So I took my mom,dd.we got outside of icu and I called to get in. He had been moved to a regular room. So we got to see him 1 last time. Soon after getting home and right before the time we knew he would be gone. The dr calls and says have u seen your df. I say yes we just got home. He had just passed away.like I wrote before I am very open to things,so I do feel he is around with a few odd things that have happened not including the dreams.

 

[shortbun]

My deceased Grandfather attended my wedding. I saw my Dad driving a school bus, he talked to me. My mother has floated over my bed in her favorite dress.

Yesterday was my Dad's birthday. I woke up at 12:02am thinking about him.

 

[muffyn]

soon after my mom died she started showing up in my dreams.it was kind of annoying .In one of my dreams my sister's mother in law asked me IF our mom's ashes had been spread yet, ( like my mom wanted....... in Lake erie). well my sister had THAT task, & I called & asked her,,,,,, nope she didn't, soon after she finally did my mom went away for a while.....
now my mom was an athiest, (and she had alzheimers, in the end). she still shows up in my dreams every few months,, alive & very much OK, I keep telling everyone that she is DEAD , how can she be walking around here alive!!!??? they are very interesting dreams, me trying to figure this out.
anyway, I figure its her way of telling me there IS an afterlife & that she is finally ok.

now in 35 years I never dreamt of my father, in 15 years my brother only a couple, in 14 years my mother in law several, & she is the one I TRY to get some conversations going, but never works out

 

[hereyago]

My mother has floated over my bed in her favorite dress.

Do you mean in a dream or like you were awake? Honestly I would freak out if I saw anyone.I even told my df he could come check on us,but please don't let me see him except in my dreams. Oops, I am a goober,you meant you dreamed it,sorry.

 

[PaulaSB12]

I have feelings of guilt about my mother's death. We where told that when her kidneys got to zero working that she would slip into a coma and die. What I didn't know was how she would react in the coma I just assumed she would be quiet in bed. The moaning and swinging her arms freaked me out and when she sat up and looked at me I just couldn't stay and watch. My sister spent more time while she was dying I just couldn't watch it and feel guilty about that.

 

[cepmom]

I've had one dream about my father. In my dream, he knocked on my front door, and when I opened the door, I said what are you doing here? You already died?! Then he came in the house, told me to tell my stepmother that he would always be with her. Then he said he had to go, and he left. Weird but I figure he wanted me to pass on a message. I remember feeling overwhelmed but somehow comforted by seeing him again. I sort of wished he was there to "talk" to me though and not pass on a message for someone else.

No dreams about my grandmother though...I was pretty close to her, so I would love to see her again in a dream.

 

[mom2travel]

DH & I thankfully still have our parents around. I have had many dreams of my grandparents, the majority of them one of my grandmothers with whom I was very close. My mother & I have had dreams about her on the same nights even. Or sometimes we will both have something "odd " happen on the same day - like seeing a random flower bloom where it shouldn't be. My dad thinks we're nuts!

 

[chiefmickeymouse]

I am fortunate enough to still have both of my parents with me, but I dream often about my maternal grandmother. It isn't in a specific house, and nothing really happens except for a feeling of her presence and knowing that she loves me. I hate to wake up from that dream.

 

[luvflorida]

...I commented on his looks and he said, "That's just it--they let you go back to when you think you looked your best."

I love this! I had a dream about my mom not long after she died, and in my dream I was thinking that same thing. My mom died in 2008, at the age of 76, but in my dream it was the '60s and my mom was in her 30s. She was dressed in a green 60s style dress with boots (kind of like go-go boots, but taller ) and her hair was permed and teased. She was completely healthy and beautiful.

I remember in my dream that I wanted to help her walk down some stairs, but she didn't need any help. Before she died, she had had two knee replacements and there were times that she did need some help with stairs. I remember thinking to myself in my dream, "Wow, Mom must have gone back to a time when she was very happy and loved the way she looked!"

I've only had a few dreams with my mother in them, and that makes me sad. I wish she would visit me in my dreams more often. I miss her so much. Same with my dad. He passed away in 2004, and I've only dreamed of him a handful of times. My favorite dream was awhile ago, when they both were in the same dream. Whenever I do dream of either of them, they seem so real.

to everyone missing loved ones. This thread has choked me up more than once. Very emotional thread.