Down with portable DVD players

[DVCsince02]

I haven't read any of the replies, and I won't have time until tonight, but I think I have time for my own reply!!

I agree with you!! One of my biggest pet peeves is when I see them in restaurants. We were at Jiko with our three kids, and the people next to us had one with their one child. Dinner is for family time!

I will say we have a built in one in our van. My rule is nothing unless the trip is over 2 hours. On a fifteen hour trip to Disney they get 2 each way. No joke, I know lots of people who use them for 5 minutes to the grocery store.

I am sure not everyone agrees with me. My own brother doesn't!!

You should have read the previous posts before posting.

 

[Camno's Mama]

I think it's so funny when people act like the way things were was so much better.

When we used to go on car trips, my parents fed us fries and pop to keep us happy. I don't do that...don't even allow that. If we stop at a McDonald's, not only is the meal made from healthier choices, we stop and sit down rather than eating on the run. That's great family time.

We didn't all have to sit in carseats until we were eight. People got up and moved around the car, and were allowed to lay down in the backseat if they had to. My parents had a conversion van. Younger kids could even sit in the front passenger seat with Daddy.

We have used a portable DVD player on long rides. They get sick of that. We also sing, talk, listen to the radio, color, etc. But, honestly, I think that there are some rose colored glasses being worn by the OP. Really, I never minded riding in the car...reading, sleeping, whatever. But it's not like that was the best family time we ever had.

Hey, if you really want to take this a step farther...people didn't use to have cars or go on car trips at all. They didn't go to restaurats or sit in airports with their kids for hours on end. Their kids had a lot more real work to do because the parents had a lot more real work to do. Hand laundering, dishwashing by hand, blah, blah, blah. Times are just different, and everything is moderation (as my grandma says) won't hurt your kids!

 

[Momvic5]

Yea, you learn something when you have to entertain yourself, the parent learns too!!! Even when you have two children in the back seat fighting....that fighting is teaching the children how to interact with each other even when frustrated, angry, bored, etc. This is a skill that is INVALUABLE in marriage, and when you have kids of your own.

Simply quelling arguments and boredom is not a the best thing to do. Especially when it's movies which generally involve no thought or creativity. When children watch a movie that has been seen a dozen times before, I dont think they are getting ANYTHING out of it....it seems to just become a "zone out".

Maybe so, but most siblings get enough opportunities on a daily basis on skills such as those that the car doesn't ALWAYS have to be a teaching tool. Children deal with boredom and frustration all the time, and a movie in the car at the right time is not going to cap their creativity, limit their ability to entertain themselves, or decrease their ability to cope with boredom or frustration. If you can't enjoy a movie in the car on a long road trip when can you enjoy one.

Like I mentioned earlier, moderation is the key.

 

[JeremyGNJ]

I have thought about this same thing many times. One thing not to forget is that even though we have way more 'stuff' and conveniences which make our lives 'easier' for our kids today than we did back in our day is that some things are actually a LOT more difficult today too (to offse the easiness). Think about it - I watched little to no TV as a 4 year old, BUT...my brothers and sisters and I would be outside ALL THE TIME, and not even see our mom until the 'bell' rang indicating dinner. Now, those of us with 4 year olds today...obviously, this is NOT 'allowed' or 'safe' (in most cases) in today's society. Did we have fun and was it educational to keep ourselves entertained? YES! If I could do it today and know my children were safe, would I? YES! Is it possible? No. Because those 5 - 8 hours that my own mother had to clean, make dinner, etc. with kids 'out of her hair' - we need to (okay, choose to) rely on some of the conveniences like TV's and DVD's to get the kids out of our hair to get some of the stuff done that just needs to be done that likely WAS a lot easier back when I was a kid. At least in my own personal situation.

I just worry about what the long term effects of this change in thought are on children. How will children of the next generation be different because they DONT run around the neighborhood with friend.

(Side Note: I honestly dont think it's less safer than when we were kids. The same abductions and predators existed back then as well, you just didn't hear about it as easily as you do today. So we live in a heightened state of fear/concern. I'm concerned about the effects of that as well!)

 

[Camno's Mama]

I just worry about what the long term effects of this change in thought are on children. How will children of the next generation be different because they DONT run around the neighborhood with friend.

(Side Note: I honestly dont think it's less safer than when we were kids. The same abductions and predators existed back then as well, you just didn't hear about it as easily as you do today. So we live in a heightened state of fear/concern. I'm concerned about the effects of that as well!)

Sometimes I wonder that as well. It seems that we are made to believe that there is a predator on every corner! But I think that as long as you keep those concerns to yourself, and don't constantly say those things to your kids, then they will be fine. You can direct them to stay close to home without scaring the pants off of them.

 

[brymolmom]

I just worry about what the long term effects of this change in thought are on children. How will children of the next generation be different because they DONT run around the neighborhood with friend.

(Side Note: I honestly dont think it's less safer than when we were kids. The same abductions and predators existed back then as well, you just didn't hear about it as easily as you do today. So we live in a heightened state of fear/concern. I'm concerned about the effects of that as well!)

Very interesting thought. I sat here thinking about it for a good few minutes to see if I agreed with that. I honestly believe there ARE more 'bad guys' out there today....now here's the kicker - likely BECAUSE of all the information that exists out there. So a bunch of people who might have just been strange but unharmful in the past can now see ALL THE NEAT psycho things that they could do - hurt children, build bombs, etc. So, I think this actually creates a less safe environment. Don't get me wrong - I know the bad guys existed back then - but #1 - parents didn't get called into CPS for letting their 4 year olds roam the neighborhood and #2 (maybe) more people were at home keeping watch on the neighborhood in general to make it more safe?

 

[JeremyGNJ]

#2 (maybe) more people were at home keeping watch on the neighborhood in general to make it more safe?

This is something I hadn't considered. With so many more people working for 2-income families, there's a lot less "regulars" around the neighborhood...less people to notice something strange going on, etc. I have to ponder this one.

But I will say that even if it is marginally less-safe, there should still be a way to counter-act it, so that kids can still be outside and playing. If technology helps create the problem, then use technology to fight it. For example if kids with cell phones had a "one button alert" that could send a message or make a phonecall indicating an emergency, that would not only make it easy to know something is wrong....but deter predators, because they would know kids have that ability. These days it could even include a GPS location of where the call came from.

 

[Camno's Mama]

This is something I hadn't considered. With so many more people working for 2-income families, there's a lot less "regulars" around the neighborhood...less people to notice something strange going on, etc. I have to ponder this one.

But I will say that even if it is marginally less-safe, there should still be a way to counter-act it, so that kids can still be outside and playing. If technology helps create the problem, then use technology to fight it. For example if kids with cell phones had a "one button alert" that could send a message or make a phonecall indicating an emergency, that would not only make it easy to know something is wrong....but deter predators, because they would know kids have that ability. These days it could even include a GPS location of where the call came from.

Or we could just microchip our children!

Although, I do think that would be appealing if I had a teenage daughter! What dad wouldn't love constant tabs!

 

[JeremyGNJ]

Or we could just microchip our children!

Although, I do think that would be appealing if I had a teenage daughter! What dad wouldn't love constant tabs!

I've met some women that I suspect had microchips in their brain!

 

[Disneylvr]

I'll take #1 please. Can I have fries with that??

LOL! Sure, I'll even make them Figaro Fries. But DD's rule is that there must be ketchup on the plate under the fries.

But truthfully, we only pull out the DVD player as a last resort. We also try to dine in busy, loud restaurants because the movement (she is a sensory seeker) keeps her occupied. No matter what the circumstances may be in a family, the reason for the DVD player is their business. If time together in a restaurant is "family time" then ideally you would be too busy to notice someone else's DVD player unless the volume is exceptionally loud, right?

 

[CampbellScot]

We love our DVD player. It has made the six hour trips to visit grandma and grandpa pleasant for everyone. Flights to DISNEY TOO!!! GAmes of I-spy, and song singing and all the other things you can do in a car or a plane only last so long before the kids get bored out of their minds...as kids are wont to do in such situations. Which then leads to nudging each other for the entertainment value...which leads to whining...and tattling...and "HE's TOUCHING ME..." and parents saying "STOP THAT..." fifty times and then having to start doling out consequences...IN THE CAR...by the time we get to where we are going, everybody is ticked off, the kids are already fed up with the mere sight of the other, and the parents are worn to their last nerve. What a SUPER way to start a vacation...not so much. I'm a big fan of keeping everyone on an even emotional keel so we can arrive at our destination full of the family spirit!

Sheesh, I WISH my parents had had a DVD player for our car when I was young. I'll bet my sister wouldn't have come up with silent yet painful ways to torture me in the back seat...endless games of "slug bug" that left me covered in bruises...or the terror I felt from my father finally threatening to pull the car over if we didn't stop fussing. He wasn't a bad father, he was trying to drive with two terminally bored children who had read every book fifty times, colored all the coloring books and now felt car sick from doing both in the back seat! Did I learn any invaluable lessons from "interacting with my sister" on these car rides? I suppose so. I learned that she hit really hard and if I didn't let her color all the good pages of my coloring book she was going to pinch me or hurt me or do something else mean...there is nothing valuable in that.

To the OP...I find it terribly insulting for you to imply that people who use DVD players in cars or on planes are simply lazy and checking out of valuable family togetherness. If that is how you want to do with your family fine. But don't guilt trip the rest of us who have found some value in portable DVD players! I certainly understand the "over use" of electronic devices to keep kids entertained...it does happen but not everybody who has a DVD player in their car or uses one on a plane is doing so for their OWN convenience. It's for their children's comfort...as well as the comfort of people riding on the plane around us.

everybody wins.

or I'm a bad parent.

could be that.

but I don't think so.

 

[katerkat]

I, obviously, grew up without a DVD player in the car. I was very resistant to putting on in our car. However, we installed one for Russ' third birthday, shortly before a 30 hour drive to Oklahoma. OMG, life saver. I really, honestly, do look forward to the days when we can play the license plate game and the alphabet game in the car. But he's three. He can only identify one letter. Best he can do with states is name four of them - he certainly can't read license plates. He can't read books, though looking at pictures upside down will entertain him for ten minutes. He can color, but he tends to drop crayons and we can't always reach them. He gets bored with the MagnaDoodle because there's no color. There's only so far you can drive your toy cars around the carseat. There's only so much conversation you can have with a three year old.

So we watched movies. And music DVDs - is it family time if we're all singing "Here Come the 123s"? (He claims my favorite song is the one that goes "oh no, no, I never go to work..." )

 

[hmdavid]

I am new to the DISboards, but have seen several posts from the OP and I have been irritated by every single one of them. I think he is definitely trying to "ruffle feathers".

I can say that I too think that portable DVD players are overused, but I don't know what I would do without ours. Not only do we have a portable DVD player, but we also have one as an option in our vehicle... oh no!!! I do not use it when we are driving around town and the kids have (finally) learned not to ask for it, but on long trips with 3 kids( DD5, DD5, DD4), it is a sanity saver!

We are a military family and every trip to see family is a long drive. You bet they watch movies to help pass the time. It was the best thing I could have had on international flights when we were stationed in Germany and I am sure that everyone else on the plane appreciated the fact that my kids were watching Disney movies and Dora instead of screaming because they were tired and uncomfortable on a 10 hour flight. Also, try entertainig 3 little ones when you are doing a cross country move ALONE. I bet that even that would change the mind of the OP!

 

[jodifla]

What I think is the biggest fallacy is that family car trips were great in the days before portable DVD players.


Uh, no, they weren't. Parts were fun, parts were scenic and entertaining, the first several hours of car games were fun....then the next 10 hours? They were long and BORING BORING BORING!!!


But I love the revisionist history.

 

[tjmw2727]

What I find interesting OP - is that I agree with most of your points, except the Down with DVD part

Yes family time is important, nobody is arguing that, we need lots of family time. Watching some TV or a movie is fine once in a while but yes, of course time with family, friends, playing board games and talking is better.

But I think there is a time and place for everything and in our family that includes the DVD. I won't "justify" by saying how and when we use ours but it works for our family and I honestly feel it doesn't replace anything important.

Can anyone honestly say they have never "tuned out for a while" maybe while reading the newspaper on Sunday morning while the kids watch a ltte cartoon?

DVD/TV overused, probably yes, horrible creations, not IMHO. It is just another choice - each family has the choice.

TJ

 

[WantToGoNow]

We just took a 7 hour (each way) car trip 3 weeks ago. You can bet the DVD player (or GameBoy, Video Now or Vsmile) was on almost the entire trip there and back. We did remove it from the car while we were there (went to Gatlinburg/Smoky Mountains). You may volunteer to ride in our little Dodge Neon on a long trip with my ds7 and dd4 anytime you wish -- you'll be asking for some type of electronic device to keep them occupied and their hands, toys, etc. off of each other.

You parent your children however you wish; I'll take care of my own.

 

[delmar411]

This is something I hadn't considered. With so many more people working for 2-income families, there's a lot less "regulars" around the neighborhood...less people to notice something strange going on, etc. I have to ponder this one.

But I will say that even if it is marginally less-safe, there should still be a way to counter-act it, so that kids can still be outside and playing. If technology helps create the problem, then use technology to fight it. For example if kids with cell phones had a "one button alert" that could send a message or make a phonecall indicating an emergency, that would not only make it easy to know something is wrong....but deter predators, because they would know kids have that ability. These days it could even include a GPS location of where the call came from.

Sometimes I wonder that as well. It seems that we are made to believe that there is a predator on every corner! But I think that as long as you keep those concerns to yourself, and don't constantly say those things to your kids, then they will be fine. You can direct them to stay close to home without scaring the pants off of them.

I just worry about what the long term effects of this change in thought are on children. How will children of the next generation be different because they DONT run around the neighborhood with friend.

(Side Note: I honestly dont think it's less safer than when we were kids. The same abductions and predators existed back then as well, you just didn't hear about it as easily as you do today. So we live in a heightened state of fear/concern. I'm concerned about the effects of that as well!)

I have thought about this same thing many times. One thing not to forget is that even though we have way more 'stuff' and conveniences which make our lives 'easier' for our kids today than we did back in our day is that some things are actually a LOT more difficult today too (to offse the easiness). Think about it - I watched little to no TV as a 4 year old, BUT...my brothers and sisters and I would be outside ALL THE TIME, and not even see our mom until the 'bell' rang indicating dinner. Now, those of us with 4 year olds today...obviously, this is NOT 'allowed' or 'safe' (in most cases) in today's society. Did we have fun and was it educational to keep ourselves entertained? YES! If I could do it today and know my children were safe, would I? YES! Is it possible? No. Because those 5 - 8 hours that my own mother had to clean, make dinner, etc. with kids 'out of her hair' - we need to (okay, choose to) rely on some of the conveniences like TV's and DVD's to get the kids out of our hair to get some of the stuff done that just needs to be done that likely WAS a lot easier back when I was a kid. At least in my own personal situation.

Ah see, I'm one of those 'lax' parents that is raising my kids the same way I was. I don't carry the same fear that many parents seem to. I'm happy that the neighborhoods we've lived in here in IN have also been filled with similar minded parents. Nothing is as great as seeing lots of kids outside playing, riding bikes, having pick up games of b-ball and just being kids...w/o any moms or dads hovering over them or freaking out if they leave sight of their house or heaven forbid leave their own block.

And to the poster that said her parents fed them soda and fries to keep them happy on long rides...wow, you're lucky! LOL I got packed sandwiches from home and water!

 

[disney_family_1247]

I see a definite downside to these things too when they are used all of the time. I have an aquaintance who has one installed in her SUV. She puts on movies while she drives around town with her kids!

On the other hand, I think that they're awesome for vacations. We bought one in '06 when we were going on a road trip from Louisiana to Maine with our kids, who were three and five at the time. It took us four days to drive up and we came back down in five. That's a lot of time for the kids to be in the car, and I think that watching movies made the trip more bearable for them.

For the record, I am a stay at home mom who homeschools, so I know that I spend more time with my kids than many parents. We don't have to talk to each other 24/7 It actually gives my husband and I a chance to talk about whatever we want for an hour or two at a time because the kids are happily occupied.

 

[DVCsince02]

It actually gives my husband and I a chance to talk about whatever we want for an hour or two at a time because the kids are happily occupied.

Another excellent point. Mommy and daddy conversations are hard to come by when the kids need to be occupied.

 

[Sandy22]

My issue with portable DVD's and any portable electronic device for that matter, is that it doesn't allow kids to disconnect. They can't learn to entertain themselves without having something entertaining them. I've seen the results of kids living sedentary lifestyles and overusing the tv, videogames and/or computer and it's not something I want to promote in my family.

For the record, I do own a portable DVD player. I bring it on long-distance trips. It takes me 5 days (there and back) to get to Disney. The younger kids used it once to watch a Disney movie. I would never use it just to drive around town. On the other hand, my teen used the Nintendo DS during the whole 5 days of travel. You have to pick your battles!