Dorms freshman year - single or double?

[DMickey28]

Large school and she is involved in track & field. She actually has more guy friends than girls!

Does she plan on doing track & field in college? If that is the case, I would get the single. As long as there is something that would get her social then I think she would be ok in meeting friends.

 

[Ever_After]

Oh I wish I had the single option way back when. I hated having a room mate even though we were very good friends. I need my privacy and down time to myself. I really think I would have been more happier, comfortable, & confident if I had a room all to myself.

 

[disney1990]

From what I have read, this is one of the biggest problems are having. So many children are "only children" and don't know how to live with another person. I definitely vote for a double and not a single. Eventually, you have to learn how to "live" with another person.

Even my married friends that grew up as only children have problems living with another person. I would think that is better to experience this in college then later in life.

 

[HugsForEeyore]

It blows my mind that a freshman can even apply for a single! When I went to college, only the luckiest seniors who won the lottery got singles! Freshman HAD to room with someone. It was seen as a right of passage - no kid was special enough to avoid it. And my college almost would never switch people if they hated their roommates - you had to work it out, grow up, deal with your problems and learn to get along. If you and your roommate didn't - well tough luck.

Well, I never had a good experience with randomly-assigned roommates. The first one "sexiled" (I like that term!) me, so her boyfriend could move into the room every weekend. I had nowhere to go, no one to turn to, no place at college to help. So I would live in the library, and when it closed at night, I would debate falling asleep in the stairwells at my dorm or just wander the halls. It was the most horrible feeling - to have nowhere to go. I think I still have huge fears of being homeless to this day because of that experience.

My sophmore year, my roommate refused to speak to me, since we were of different cultures and races, and her culture was not "allowed" to speak to people like me. Goodness, did I get a crash course in race relations in the US! Not a good year.

So wow - if a freshman can get a single, I say go for it!!! Some of us (like me) just were not cut out for living with random roommates. I wish I had a single option - it would have drastically changed my whole college experience for the better.

 

[almacdonald]

I am an only child too and would highly recommend applying for a single room. There were a few pairs of girls in double rooms which turned out to be great friends but WAY more who turned into bitter enemies. It can be very difficult to trust a complete stranger with your personal effects, what if the room mate doesn't always remember to lock the door and your laptop disappears? Also, when sharing a room, you have to work around someone else's schedule. I often would study late into the night in my room which I couldn't have done if I had a room mate. Or imagine trying to sleep the night before a final when your room mate is out partying and comes home at 2am. You still meet plenty of people in a single room by hanging out in the common areas, leaving your door open (when you want to) etc, this way you can choose your friends!

 

[bluesaturn]

The good thing about a double is that it can teach you HOW to deal w/ other people. You can't always walk away, close the door, and be alone in your own room. Sometimes you have to confront a problem head on. I had a HORRIBLE roommate freshmen year. But I learned how to stand up for myself, compromise, and diffuse a tense situation. Yeah my roommate tried to push me around, but I stood my ground and she learned fast that I wasn't going to take anything. I learned a lot that year about dealing with uncomfortable situations on my own.

The next year I had the chance to take a single, but I didn't. I took another double with a random roommate. She is awesome, and we still live together. If I had not taken that double, I would never have met her.

 

[mjkacmom]

I graduated from college 20 years ago, and still keep in touch with my college roommate. As a matter of fact, I'm going to a get-together with my college friends on Saturday - we all ended up living in the same door, next to each other, by choice, for 4 years. I think it would be very lonely in a single as a freshman.

 

[helenabear]

Ahhh, dorm life...how I sometimes miss it so...

LOL, I will say I had one good roommate during my time in college, so it wasn't all bad. But a lot of it was!

I guess I will still stay with having a single. If I could have had my way my first two years I would have gone for my own room. My first year I was stuck with two roommates (the rooms could be quads, triples, doubles or there was a type that was a single) and that was a living hell. The next year I picked a roommate who was a mutual friend and OMG was that a mistake. Sadly a few I wanted to room with either dropped out or transfered from spring to fall so I got stuck with luck of the draw Those I met in the hall, a few of them are still friends. Two of them were in my wedding party

 

[englishteacha]

I had 3 college roommates. The first one was assigned, and on paper we really seemed like perfect roomies. We even wore identical vintage dresses to our proms. That said, she was brooding, homesick, and hung creepy pictures on the wall and lots of dark poetry she'd written. My side of the room had a Cookie Monster "Got Milk" poster and stuffed animals. She decided to move out after our first semester. We didn't argue; we just weren't suited to living together. My next roomie was a friend from a class was also being abandoned by her roomie. She and I were perfect roommates. We lived together for part of sophomore year, too, until she became sick with mono and wanted to live with her best pal (she felt like she would inconvenience me by being sick). Her best friend's roommate was my best friend (we thought we were being clever when we worked that out!) so my best friend moved in with me. It worked out pretty well, but we did get tired of each other some days because we had all the same friends and many of the same classes. We lived together for 2 years. Senior year I had a single, which was nice. Most of my friends had moved off campus by that point so I had to go out and meet new people. Would I go back and change things? Probably not. I think starting with a double is a good choice. If she attends an orientation this spring and meets someone she gets along with, they can request to room together. She defintely shouldn't live with a friend from home, though. I've never seen that work out well.

 

[BrerMom]

I lived in a dorm where ALL of the rooms were singles. It was heaven. I was an extreme "early to bed, early to rise" kind of student and would have been miserable if I couldn't have gone to sleep when I needed to. As far as friendships, I still email with the girl next door at least once a month.

Is the single room that is an option for your niece mixed in with double rooms or on a floor with all singles? That might make a difference in my recommendation.

 

[Feralpeg]

DD is also an only child. Until this past year, she has never had to share a room with anyone. For her freshman year in college, she had a single. It was great. Although she made very good friends, she had a place where she could go to have some privacy. She was so happy last year.

This year, she has a roommate. Her roommate is a very good friend. They get along great, however, DD has not been as happy this year and has had a harder time studying. Their room is so small. There is literally so much furniture in the room, you can barely walk through. She has no time just to herself. To make matters worse, her roommates boyfriend is in there room a good deal of the time. In fact, she had to tell her roommate that it made her uncomfortable to have him sleep there with her roommate.

Fortunately, next year, DD will be in a four bedroom suite style room. Each girl will have their own room. There are two bathrooms per suite, a small sitting area and a kitchen. She is really looking forward to having a place where she go get away by herself when she wants to do so.

 

[damo]

I think it depends on the kid. One of mine loved having a room-mate and the other really would have preferred a single (he ended up in a double).

 

[SydSim]

Thanks everyone for the replies. It seems that everyone has a different view on things I do believe that only children should learn to get along with others (and she isn't a "real" only child, she has just lived that way because her older siblings were all out of the house when she was born), but I also believe that she can ease into that by starting out with a single and then rooming with new friends the next few years. The "suite" single option would be great, if she could get it.

 

[4greatboys]

My son had a roomed with one of his friends. Had he not had this friend to room with then we would have gone with a single. He likes his privacy and he is a pretty messy guy.

The roomed in an apt on campus, he and his friend shared a room and 2 other guys shared the other bedroom. One of them was a very bad room mate. I once came in and the place smelled like something had been on fire. I looked all around and couldnt find anything. When he came in I asked if he had burned something in the kitchen and he said no he was burning papers in his bedroom. I reported that and luckily the moved him soon after.

 

[disykat]

I say double. I had various roommates. A stranger freshman year. A stranger sophmore year (my friend I was going to room with decided to change schools). A stranger at semester that year when I changed dorms. An aquaintance (she lived across the hall and both our roommates were leaving) junior year - who became a best friend and is still a really good friend 25 years later. And last but not least I shared an apartment senior year with 3 gals, one who I knew really well, one an aquaintance, and the one I shared a bedroom with was a stranger. I'm still in contact with one of them as well and am godmother to her daughter.

In all those roommates I only had one that wasn't pretty easy to get along with. Nothing horrible, she just drove me nuts! She had never shared a room with anyone and loved to start typing (back in the days of manual typewriters) at 6am. She also was jealous of my friendships with other girls - kind of weird.

My husband never shared a room with anyone until we got married. I can tell.

 

[Kath2003]

No one shares a room in UK universities, unless you draw the short straw and have to come through clearing (when you didn't get into the college you wanted and have to pick from what's left). I shared a room as a child until I was about 8 and I'm a good roommate but I was glad to have my own room to work (and recover!) in! Doesn't sharing get awkward (e.g. if you have an essay due in the following day and need to do an all-nighter, or you have a boyfriend/girlfriend)?

 

[Feralpeg]

No one shares a room in UK universities, unless you draw the short straw and have to come through clearing (when you didn't get into the college you wanted and have to pick from what's left). I shared a room as a child until I was about 8 and I'm a good roommate but I was glad to have my own room to work (and recover!) in! Doesn't sharing get awkward (e.g. if you have an essay due in the following day and need to do an all-nighter, or you have a boyfriend/girlfriend)?

Absolutely! DD's roommate has a tendency to leave things until the last minute, then she has to stay up all night to finish them. When she does this, DD doesn't get any sleep. DD never feels like she can really relax in her room because her roommate's boyfriend is there so much. A couple of months ago, DD was sick. She felt terrible because she had a cough and bothered her roommate. It can be very awkward.

 

[Kath2003]

Absolutely! DD's roommate has a tendency to leave things until the last minute, then she has to stay up all night to finish them. When she does this, DD doesn't get any sleep. DD never feels like she can really relax in her room because her roommate's boyfriend is there so much. A couple of months ago, DD was sick. She felt terrible because she had a cough and bothered her roommate. It can be very awkward.

ALL new university accommodation being built in the UK is single ensuite rooms. At my college, at least half of the rooms are ensuite already. I shared a bathroom with 3 other people but I had my own room.