Doreen's New Way of Life (comments are welcome)

[deelam]

Hi Doe,

I'm fairly new to this, but I read a bit of your journel today. It's so big, so forgive me on coming in the middle without knowing the whole story, but I went to your last post and felt that I just have to comment.
I have a dear friend who suffers from bouts of depression, and your posting reminds me of her.
Please don't take outside stresses, like work, to heart. You have to be strong, and I don't mean about weight loss. You have to be strong about everything. Remember You are very important and needed by the people around you.
Think, is it your depression that is altering your feelings about work, or is work making you depressed? Whatever the reason, you must overcome and defeat the feelings. And if work is truly the problem, think constructively, what can you do to make it better. You have to be possitive, force yourself to look at the bright side.

Good luck,
Dee

 

[wilderness01]

Here's hoping that you feel better about everything soon. Hang in there.

 

[Carol36]

Hey Doreen!

Sometimes life gets us down! Just hold that chin up and keep going, taking one day at a time. Your career is a big part of your life and you really need to be happy! maybe there is a way to look at your work in a different, more positive way. I know this is easier said than done! Just be strong! You can do it!

Carol

 

[lulu201]

Well, what can I say except : It's Hump Day! If you're going back to work today, promise me that you'll take it all in slowly and you'll look at your tasks one by one--you have what it takes to do your job and do it well, Doreen. You know this! Baby steps will get the job done.

Today we're going to treat ourselves right, but we're just going to manage it all bit by bit--those baby steps again. One day, one meal, one minute at a time.

You're in my thoughts and prayers--as always.

Erin

 

[Strings]

Hello Doe,

I know that you are headed back to work today, so I'm sending you some .Know that we are all sending you and . You can get through today, step by step.

How is your stomach feeling today? How is DD's back?

I hope today is a good one,
Beth

 

[DoeWDW]

I am sitting at my desk at work with tears of gratitude in my eyes. I feel you all around me and I can't tell you - each one of you - how much your words, your thoughts, your feelings have surrounded me with light and love this morning. Thank you for making a difficult day brighter and better.

I am back. Erin, your words of wisdom are right on the money. I am ignoring the list of new emails for now and am taking the first half hour to breathe deeply and affirm that I can handle all that comes my way if I take it in little bits. I'm spending time in prayer, asking for God's help and strength and guidance, and thanking Him for all my WISH friends (both the posters AND the lurkers).

My anxiety symptoms are here. I took an acid reducer for my tummy this morning and it's helping. I had the chiropractor adjust me last night. I'm doing my best to recognize when my breathing becomes shallow and my heart starts to race and my brain refuses to focus - these all indicate that I'm over my threshold and need to take a moment to get centered and focused on one small task again. Baby steps will get me there or at least further than allowing myself to shut down completely. I'm learning how to face these symptoms, acknowledge them for what they are, center myself on one manageable task, and then slowly move forward again. I can do this, but I need to focus more on me and helping myself to stay within my comfort level. I have to learn to put my feelings first and forget about what others are feeling about my work for now. If my work is good enough for me, then it will surpass everyone else's expectations so I don't really need to worry about them.

DD had a full workup at the chiropractor yesterday afternoon including x-rays. They were nice enough to develop the films right away and had her back in last evening for her first adjustment. No wonder her back hurt - those x-rays showed quite a stressed and curvy spine!! She's back at school today and goes for another adjustment this evening.

I'm off to get some work done in small bites. I think it will turn out to be a good day if I can monitor how I'm feeling and keep myself below my anxiety threshold.

and to all my WISH family,

EDIT: 8:45 AM
Breakfast - am working on a protein bar, took pills, am working on 3rd mug of water.

 

[lulu201]

Just wanted to say: .

Keep on keeping on, Doe-Doe.

 

[CheapMom]

Doreen-
Do something nice for yourself today. I know the pressures and obligations of work and family tend to dominate your schedule but try to carve out a little time for yourself in there somewhere.
If work is piled up on your desk from your days off try not to stress out too much while playing catch-up. You are human and can only do so much.
Good luck, today! -Mary
PS- I hope DDs back is feeling better soon.

 

[DoeWDW]

Thanks, Mary! Actually, I'm allowing myself little bits of "me" time in between my work tasks. If I concentrate on a task and accomplish it, then I allow myself some time to catch up on WISH journals or take a 10 minute walk outside.

I have to walk to the credit union to make a deposit over lunch hour and I'm going to treat myself to a Subway wrap - YUM!

 

[septbride2002]

Hi Doe! It is amazing what we can accomplish when we focus on one task instead of on every task. Just remember that it will all get done in due time. Your lunch sounds fabulous - enjoy your walk and your wrap! I'm going to be home today so if you need me just PM me!

~Amanda

 

[sharoncity]

Doe - , , are all sent your way. When things get too overwhelming, allow yourself a moment to daydream about your upcoming trip! That would certainly help put me in a brighter mood!
I hope your day goes well and you get much accomplished. Here is some extra to help you through!!
TTFN-
Sharon

PS I hope DDs back is feeling better soon!

 

[Auntmeme]

Quick hug to say i'm thinking of you and sending good vibes

 

[tlgoblue]

Hi Doe!

It's been a while, and I was just kind of glossing over your journal and wanted to say HI! You are such an inspiration to me, and I thank you for your encouragement and strength to continue through thick and thin. Hope your week has improved, and will continue to do so!

Keep the Faith!
Tracy

 

[DoeWDW]

It's quitting time and I had a pretty good day! I didn't get as much done as I would have liked but it was enough. Besides, I have to leave SOME stuff for tomorrow!

I've eaten on plan, drank at least 5 mugs of water, took my meds & vitamins and walked at least 30 minutes total outside during the day. Hopefully I can keep it together this evening at home!

 

[LAinSEA]

Doreen: It sounded like you needed a couple of slow days to re-energize. Don't apologize, ever, for needing to re-charge.

Stress is a killer - and I don't think that we've been taught enough coping skills to deal with the mounting stress in our lives. Our lifestyles have become push, push, push - do more, do more, do more.

Maybe we should take work - life - in smaller bites. Easier to chew and digest. Much like staying on plan with our eating and excercise - maybe that to do list we make each day should be divided by 3 (the "must do" today, the "would be nice" if competed today, and the "sometime this week") and only bite off the "must do's" and 1/3 of the "would be nice's" and make progress on just one of the "this week's" on a daily basis. I'll give it a try and see if it works.

Thank you so much for your kind words and advice in my journal - giving me permission to grieve and take the time to deal with my feelings - a big heartfelt to you.

-Laurie

 

[wilderness01]

You sound like you are doing great today. Good for you.

 

[nancyj_pa]

Hi Doreen,
The "lurker" says hello and hopes you have a great evening. I was just thinking about our walk last Sunday, and what an organized, cheerful, and thoughtful person you are. I told DH he has to walk with us the next time so your DH isn't the only male! He loves to walk anyway as long as he isn't golfing.

I've been riding my bike (and passing MeMe's house now that I know where it is). Here's a big smily face for you. I'm not creative enough to figure out the other cute attachments.

Nancy J

 

[DoeWDW]

Laurie, you are so right about stress being so hard on our bodies and minds! When you told me not to apologize for needing time to recharge, I realized that I was feeling guilty about it, like somehow I needed to justify that time and to apologize to those around me for needing to take a break before I collapsed. It sounds silly when I write it now. Thank you for giving me the affirmation that I needed that time and I should not feel guilty about it.

Laurie, you're also right about learning to take life in smaller bites. My other problem is that I make myself "responsible" for so much. My son is going on a 3 week trip this summer - no one else seems to be worried about what he'll pack, if his luggage will be over the weight limit, etc. I think if I weren't there, he and DH would be doing everything at the last minute. I'm also getting ready for our 2 week trip to Disney - no one else is getting ready yet, making packing lists, making a reservation at the kennel for our dog, etc. DH & DD & DD's friend get to just "show up" but I do all the work ahead of time. Then there's the usual stuff - cooking, cleaning, buying groceries, the errands, walking the dog, etc. etc. Even if I delegate these chores, I am ultimately responsible for them and have to check to see if they got done. This is definitely an area I need to work on!

Nancy, you are such a sweetie!! Thank you for your kind words! DH would love to have another guy around for the walks, although he had a good time on Saturday - he can chat with just about anyone. He's a wonderful guy and I'm very lucky to be married to him.

Thanks to everyone else who stopped by! You all help me keep going!!

Last evening DH & I walked the puppy for 45 minutes!! The weather was so beautiful and we both enjoyed our walk & chat. I'm not sure Maya enjoyed it as much, since she's such a scaredy-pup - we'll know when I try to put the collar and leash on her tonight. Dinner - we all just fended for ourselves. I didn't have any healthy food around so I did the best I could.

Today, I'm back at work - taking things slow and trying to avoid my anxiety symptoms. Breakfast was a protein bar & my pills. I've had 2 mugs of water so far. I hope to walk later for exercise. I'll do the best I can today.

 

[lulu201]

Good morning, WISH-sis, how are you today? It sounds as if you're moving forward with baby steps--that's all we can do, sweetie.

I think that we often forget that as women who are working full-time outside of the home that we're really do TWO full-time jobs. The fatigue and exhaustion is so understandable, but we don't often want to accept that we have limits!

for your day, Doreen.
With lots and lots of love,
Erin

 

[toystoryduo]

Good morning Doe!
for you this morning. It sounds like you are very, very busy. I hope that you are able to find some time for yourself with all that is going on. Just think... pretty soon you'll be relaxing and having a great time with !

Don't you just love a relaxing walk with your spouse? My DH and I have had some wonderful, heartfelt conversations when we walk. Of course our conversations are now interrupted by two adorable, little munchkins, but I wouldn't have it any other way.

Doe, I hope that you have a wonderful, blessed day today. Take good care of you!

Tracy