Don't call me "hun"

[Wishing on a star]

So, you disagree, and defend your viewpoint that you are entitled to call ME anything you want.....

I think my points about presumptuous and entitlement have just been proven....

You can try to word your post politely and add the little smiley icon...
But, doesn't change the reality.

 

[MIGrandma]

I am a Southern Girl!!!!

I don't call anyone 'Hon'...
And, am not usually ever called 'Hon' by anyone else either.

Here is my take:

1. To call anyone an overly-familiar name, unless one KNOWS that the others find it acceptable, is nothing less than presumptuous!!!

2. To call anyone an overly-familiar name in any business/professional/ or non close-friends and family situaiton is nothing less than presumptuous.

3. To assume that since it seems okay in YOUR personal culture and circle that everyone else has to accept it is nothing less than presumptuous.
( the old, entitlement thing )

4. To call anyone an overly familiar name when demanding/expecting personal service ( as in, can you bring me a beer, Hon..." ) is nothing less than condescending and disgusting.

Most people here seem to have missed the fact that this (the last one above) is the exact example that the OP had given.

We can agree to disagree, because I disagree with all of your numbered points.

I agree with ALL of her numbered points!!

 

[Wishing on a star]

Here is my take on the argument that 'it's a cultural thing'.
And, again, this is coming from somebody born and raised in the South.

I like grits, dammit, so you had better like them too.

 

[MIGrandma]

Here is my take on the argument that 'it's a cultural thing'.
And, again, this is coming from somebody born and raised in the South.

I like grits, dammit, so you had better like them too.

I hate grits! Does that mean I have a chip on my shoulder?

 

[disykat]

I also believe it's overly familiar and presumptious.

 

[bunkkinsmom]

There are just to many quotes to multi-quote all of my responses!

Let me just say that I do not think the OP has a chip on their shoulder for not wanting to be called "hun". HOWEVER......

I personally think it's a little presumptuous of anyone to think that me calling them "hun" in a social situation is me deliberately being condescending. As far as the "entitlement" thing goes........ How do you feel about someone thinking that I should change my speech to appease them?

This has gotten ugly.

Please, if I offend someone with my speech, let me know so that I will not do it to you again. If I offend you and you don't tell me, then that's on you and I will continue to speak the way I was raised. If I offend you accidentally and you get NASTY with me, then I will get NASTY in return.

If this person is being condescending to you, then tell him to stop. If you don't, then that is your issue and not his. People get treated the way they allow themselves to be treated.

And no, you don't have to like grits, I never said you did. I personally like cheese on my grits, stone ground please. With Texas Pete. Just don't tell me with an attitude not to eat grits in front of you because they offend you. If you ask me nicely to please pick something else because they freak you out, then I will order fruit.

Frankly, I hate being called Ma'am. But I realize that some people see it as being polite, so it's ok. God forbid I don't have anything else to irritate me that day besides that!

 

[blana]

I am from a small town in NC. I moved to Raleigh the summer before my senior year, and in the 10 years I lived there the population tripled.

I'm the same pretty much as you. (Moved from small town NC to Durham in high school & raleigh for college.)

And I have had it explained to me at work that if I start calling someone Hon, they know they're in trouble.

 

[Scurvy]

And no, you don't have to like grits, I never said you did. I personally like cheese on my grits, stone ground please. With Texas Pete. Just don't tell me with an attitude not to eat grits in front of you because they offend you. If you ask me nicely to please pick something else because they freak you out, then I will order fruit.

I actually know someone who is so grossed out by grits (also oatmeal, rice pudding, cream of wheat and things like that) that she really can't stand to watch anyone eat them! She's nice about it, at least.

Personally, though, I think this issue is less like someone complaining about having to see you eat grits and more like someone objecting to you giving them grits when they don't want them. They aren't complaining about you saying "Hun" in front of them; they are complaining about you referring to them as "Hun". It's a little more personal than just having to hear the word when it's being said to and about you.

 

[Goofyluver]

I hate grits! Does that mean I have a chip on my shoulder?

That's just blasphemous! And in poor taste.

Frankly, I hate being called Ma'am. But I realize that some people see it as being polite, so it's ok. God forbid I don't have anything else to irritate me that day besides that!

And...what is Texas Pete?

 

[Goofyluver]

I actually know someone who is so grossed out by grits (also oatmeal, rice pudding, cream of wheat and things like that) that she really can't stand to watch anyone eat them! She's nice about it, at least.

Personally, though, I think this issue is less like someone complaining about having to see you eat grits and more like someone objecting to you giving them grits when they don't want them. They aren't complaining about you saying "Hun" in front of them; they are complaining about you referring to them as "Hun". It's a little more personal than just having to hear the word when it's being said to and about you.

If you don't want grits, you better speak up in this house. Otherwise, you'll be fed grits 20 different ways...all recipes made with love, of course.

 

[bunkkinsmom]

And...what is Texas Pete? [/QUOTE]

Texas Pete, oddly enough, is made in Winston Salem NC and is a hot sauce. Not peppery like Tabasco, more vinegar-y. MMMMMMMM on some grits! (and in beef stew, and brunswick stew, and turkey sandwiches......)

 

[Goofyluver]

Texas Pete, oddly enough, is made in Winston Salem NC and is a hot sauce. Not peppery like Tabasco, more vinegar-y. MMMMMMMM on some grits! (and in beef stew, and brunswick stew, and turkey sandwiches......)

Sounds divine.

 

[bunkkinsmom]

Sounds divine.

Oh it really is!!! PM me and I'll send you a bottle.
But then you have to send me something exclusively "Texas".

And then I'll send you Cheerwine!

 

[Goofyluver]

Oh it really is!!! PM me and I'll send you a bottle.
But then you have to send me something exclusively "Texas".

And then I'll send you Cheerwine!

Oooooh! A trade.

(And I don't know what cheerwine is either )

Exclusively Texas....hmmmmm. A cow is sort of big to ship, so I may have to think some more.

 

[bunkkinsmom]

Oooooh! A trade.

(And I don't know what cheerwine is either )

Exclusively Texas....hmmmmm. A cow is sort of big to ship, so I may have to think some more.

Think Cherry Coke, but way better! I'm pretty sure it's made here in NC, and I don't know of too many other places it's sold. It's Yummy!

Parts of a cow would be just fine! I hear ya'll have great BBQ sauce, just a thought!

 

[mhsjax]

I get the whole, "I don't like being called hum or darlin or sweetie" by strangers and because it is you being called that, I would stop if it offended you( not that I do it to stranger, but to friends yes I do) but I will be darned if anyone would tell me that something I was eating was bothering the, such as grits. If that was the case, they could simply move their *** to another table and as Flo on the old sit com said. "Kiss my Grits".

Now, I wouldn't serve grits to anyone that didn't like them, but if they didn't like to watch me eat them, too fricken bad.

 

[becauseisaid]

(And I don't know what cheerwine is either )

Think Cherry Coke, but way better!

Hmm...I think closer to a Cherry Dr. Pepper. Regardless, it's very good. We have it here in TN too.

 

[dngnb8]

I am not sure why it irks me so much but it does. One of my husbands friends always says thanks hun, or honey can you go get this. Ugh. He says it in a demeaning tone, which I think is the problem. I am not the maid and I don;t answer to hon.

With my wife, its "Babe" or "Baby"

Any man who calls her that risks getting his bleep handed to him

 

[NewmanFamily6]

You are nicer than me because I would actually tell him do not call me hon! I can't stand that either

 

[goofy4tink]

Born, bred and living in Mass...hate being called hun by anyone other than my dh. My hairdresser calls her customers hun all the time...and she is the same age as my ds!!! I have heard her calling very elderly women 'hun'...drives me nuts.
My mother-in-law does it as well. She has done that for as long as I can remember. It comes across as very demeaning...and I'm pretty sure she means it that way. She is always calling wait staff 'hun' or 'dear'...same with clerks. When my dh and I first met, and I would run into his mother around town..I would say hello to her. And I would get a 'oh, hello dear' from her. Same as she just said to the deli clerk!! Never calls me dear anymore.

Either use a person's name or don't call them anything.