Doing the CP while in a relationship

[graygables]

I was (and am still) married during my CP and beyond. I've been living apart from my husband for nearly 2 years, although I did bring my children with me and lived offsite which made for a different kind of experience. I promise you, it is NOT the end of the world.

I'm an Army brat, so I think of it as a deployment. There are times in our lives when our significant others have to go away and do their thing. This is one of my times. Of course, I'm looking at a long-time career at this point (CP became PI became statused role), so where it takes me, who knows and how we'll deal with it, who knows?

Here's a little "got some life under my belt" soap-boxing from me: Do NOT put your own dreams aside for someone else. You WILL regret it and the opportunity may never come your way again. If that person does not support your dreams, then s/he is not the right person for you to start with. In my case, I was able to work hard and find a way for my dream to happen, but it was a completely different experience than it could have been and gave me a very late start on my career, which I regret when I look around me and see people my age in the roles I want, but still have YEARS before I can get there.

Relationships are not about "being together" as much as they are about communication and commitment. Too much emphasis is placed on being in the same vicinity and not enough on being connected on a deeper level. There is nothing wrong with being alone and I have found in my life that I am much better personally AND in a relationship when I enjoy spending time alone and don't depend on someone else to keep me company or entertain me.

 

[lesautdefoi]

I think there's some great advice here for everyone! I'm coming down Spring 2011, and my boyfriend and I will have been dating around five months at that time. He and I are already making plans for visits: he and his family are planning a family trip while I'm working, and we are also discussing splitting plane fare for one of us to go see the other when we both have days off.

I'm not too worried about being far away from him; he's been immensely supportive of all of my dreams and wants me to be happy. Plus, part of the way we came together was by writing to each other. We both love books and words so much that this will be a great way to revisit how we first fell for the other person.

Good luck to everyone coming in the spring, especially those with significant others.

 

[TinkerbellIs#1]

If it's any consolation...I am married, and not exactly a new bride, either. Leaving my children behind is a stressful difficult choice also. But this opportunity is so Me, they know this and support me. Although I will miss them dearly, I am thankful and very excited! You have one life: follow your dreams!

I really think that I have many simalarities to your situation. I haven't heard a reply yet... when I am accepted would like to be able to connect with someone I can relate with. I will also be following some dreams and my family fully supports me but it is a difficult decision.

 

[_givealittlewhistle_]

I really think that I have many simalarities to your situation. I haven't heard a reply yet... when I am accepted would like to be able to connect with someone I can relate with. I will also be following some dreams and my family fully supports me but it is a difficult decision.

I like your positive attitude. I am open to discussion or support at anytime, should you wish to pursue it!

 

[CP-Chris MA]

I'm giving this a shot. My girlfriend already plans on coming down a couple of times but it will be a challenge.

Thanks to technology it won't be AS hard hopefully!

 

[aznshents]

As they say on the Bud commercial "Here we go!"

So is this ratio guys low girls high?

 

[tink774]

My personal opinion is that if you and your significant other trust each other and can handle the long-distance, then maintaining your relationship can absolutely be done.

That being said, when I started this program I had a boyfriend of five years. We were long-distance for the last two years I was in college, but could still visit at least once a month. So I figured we could handle five months apart while I came down for the CP, and so did he. Turned out he couldn't. He wanted to be supportive and knew that I would resent him if I did not do the CP (which I've wanted to do since before we met) because of him. But if someone can't handle the distance, then they can't and their feelings need to be respected. Since he's about to finish his last semester of a double major while I already graduated, our futures are still very open-ended and I am considering staying down here if my extension application is accepted. So basically we decided to separate and wish each other the best. I would still like to visit home at some point if I extend, and while there it would be nice to get some closure in person after being such a part of each other's lives.

I still fully support anyone who chooses to stay in their long-term relationship while on their CP and wish them luck. Just remember that each partner's feelings are crucial to the success of your efforts, so stay open and honest as well as supportive of each other because it will be hard.

 

[julayla]

Historically, MANY people have had to face long separations from their loved ones... and they didn't always have a choice in the matter. Way back when, a sailor's wife wouldn't see her husband for months or years at a time. Same goes for military wives even today. Worse, you have to worry about whether you'll even SEE him again. Sometimes it works out. Sometimes it doesn't.

A few months in the CP is kind of nothing in comparison. Your life isn't in mortal danger, and you both know that you'll be coming back home after a semester (or however long you choose to stay in the program). You can also communicate over email, phone, and webcams, something our ancestors weren't blessed with.

It just depends on the people in the relationship. Some can handle a long separation; others can't deal with it. That's probably the way it's always been.

 

[TTAfanatic]

My fiancée and I were still together when I did the Spring 2008 program. Like everyone else, we talked, text, talked to each other via skype. And when I got back, just because of her, we've been stronger as couple. We both hopefully head back down and get jobs with Disney again.

 

[metalis4ever]

I'm old so forgive me for posting I just saw this as I was scrolling through on the main page...I am a WDWCP Alum - QSFB - All Star Sports Resort Spring 1999 - Vista Way.

I had a similar situation with my GF at the time, but when it came down to it life is too short not to take advantage of the WDWCP. The Program changed my life and opened every door for me and enabled me to be as successful as I am today. Not to mention it was the time of my life. I broke up with her before going down and it was the best decision because it allowed me to enjoy every experience without any guilt. I met a lot of great people while letting loose and enjoying the experience which probably would not have been the case if I was concerned with talking to my GF back home every night. I know that is harsh and I am not suggesting you break up with your BF, only that you take advantage of the WDWCP as you will not regret it and if you guys were meant to be then your relationship will survive the separation

 

[mebbradley]

Historically, MANY people have had to face long separations from their loved ones... and they didn't always have a choice in the matter. Way back when, a sailor's wife wouldn't see her husband for months or years at a time. Same goes for military wives even today. Worse, you have to worry about whether you'll even SEE him again. Sometimes it works out. Sometimes it doesn't.

A few months in the CP is kind of nothing in comparison. Your life isn't in mortal danger, and you both know that you'll be coming back home after a semester (or however long you choose to stay in the program). You can also communicate over email, phone, and webcams, something our ancestors weren't blessed with.

It just depends on the people in the relationship. Some can handle a long separation; others can't deal with it. That's probably the way it's always been.

I'm in a relationship with a guy in the military (air force). This seems to be our mindset. We can handle the distance (doesn't mean we're gonna be happy all the time about it) and he's coming to visit for my birthday (as long as leave gets approved) but it's nice because I don't have to worry about him getting injured or anything and the same goes for him with me.

Our feeling is that this is going to be treated as a "deployment" for the two of us.....only thing is that I'm the one who is "deploying" and he's gonna be at home. It's a mindset that makes us laugh.

 

[marinahendrix]

There are a lot of good stories on here and I thought I'd throw mine in the mix.

The only thing that worries me is that you said your boyfriend isn't supportive of you going to Disney in the first place. And theres a huge difference in being happy that youre happy and being supportive. My boyfriend and I had just had our six year anniversary (dating since freshman year of high school) and I figured if we could make it through high school and half of college without breaking up, 5 months in disney world shouldn't pose any threat but it totally did and it all came down to him not being supportive. I wouldn't say don't try to stay together, but if it starts to become a real problem, give it some real thought. It started to be a real problem with us before I even left but I sort of had this mental countdown (only 4 months left. only 3 months left.) as to how much longer I'd have to fight with him and we ended up breaking up. In retrospect, I wasted a lot of my time in the CP being upset and worried about our relationship, then when we broke up half way through it, I spent the rest of my time adjusting to being without him. Thus, I'm hopefully going back for fall 2011. AND, I have a new boyfriend now and chances are we'll still be together when I go and we'll stay together when I'm gone, because 9 months away he already supports me and that will make all the difference.

Think about the different reactions to a situation like "hey baby, I just got off work. We're about to go to the boardwalk to get ice cream and take cute pictures with our next door neighbors. Then we're going to the dueling piano bar for a bit." A supportive boyfriend would be jealous of such a fun time. An unsupportive boyfriend would be hurt that you'd choose something like that over having a couple hour long conversation with him. After a while of the latter reaction, it can get tiring and make you resentful. Just be aware of your feelings and his feelings at all times.

Tips: Just make sure you make a lot of time for him throughout the day. Half an hour after work, half an hour after the parks, an hour before bed, 15 minutes while youre getting ready for work. etc. That way, it wont feel like youre too busy for him, just busy in general. Also, dont get upset with him for not being into what youre doing each day. Chances are he wont change how he feels about it and you need to have realistic expectations. You have plenty of disney loving friends on the program to geek out to.

 

[metalis4ever]

So is this ratio guys low girls high?

I don't have any data to support this but I believe that the ratio remains Feamles to Males 4:1, a decent percentage of that 1 being uninterested in Females...so yeah back in the day Vista Way earned its nickname

Like I said in my PP I am old but back when I participated I am glad that I was single....But others have posted some great reasons to stay together and some amazing tips, I guess it just comes down to what kind of experience you are looking to have I wanted to let loose and be as irresposible as I could without getting "terminated" while at the same time dedicate myself and focus during work and class. I don't think if I had remained together with my GF at the time it would have lasted much past the first weekend, way too many temptations for this guy to handle at 18y.o.

Even after 11 years I still regularly speak to and am friends with 6 people from the WDWCP, so either way single or in a relationship you are going to come away with friendships that will last a lifetime