Does your family spend equal $$$....

[Pembo]

...on each member of the family?

My mother-in-law, who we refer to as "she who cannot be named" sends gifts to ONLY my kids (never her own son or me) every year . This years list:

child #1 $94
child #2 $64
child #3 $24

Every year it is like this, my oldest gets more gifts worth more $$$. On the other hand, my mom is totally committed to spending the exact same amount on each of her 6 grandchildren.

Just wondered how other families are.....................

 

[C.Ann]

I spend quite a bit on my granddaughter (although each year I HAVE been cutting back a bit) and try to spend the same amount on my DD and her DH..

On my DH's side it's a different story though.. He has 5 grown children and we only see one on a semi-regular basis so we don't buy for his adult kids anymore.. He has 8 grandchildren though and one great-grandchild and we always spend the exact same amount on each one.. Sometimes I have to wonder WHY we buy for them though because he hasn't seen them in years.. Guess it just seems like the "right" thing to do...

 

[lisajl]

She who cannot be named??? Can I use that?

Why does she spend less on child number 3?
Just curious...cause my MIL tries to spend the same amount on each child, but it never works out!

Lisajl

P.S. the kids don't care..just mom cares. My mom on the other hand does a good job with the kids.

 

[snoopy]

My MIL spends the same on all her children and grandchildren:

$0



She has openly told all of us as soon as we married into the family that she doesn't do gift giving or card sending. I have always given them a little something though, on Christmas and their anniversary. I'm not about to change my gift giving habits because they don't "do" them.

 

[rbuzzotta]

Pembo, we must have the same MIL!!! My SIL does that same too. One year she will give 2 of my 3 DD's a birthday gift, the next year maybe 1 will get a gift, the next maybe none!! Very inconsistent and the kids do notice it!

My MIL usually gets the biggest but cheapest gift possible.

My mom spends the same ($60) on each of her 8 grandchildren!

 

[Boots]

I would say pretty much the same amount. We still get them the very same number of gifts at 27 and 23 years of age!!

 

[ChiTownZee]

My MIL does not buy for her kids or spouses, only the grandkids, and she spends about the same on all (I know this from talking to her about gifts) All grandkids get a gift or cash worth around 100 and then a smaller gift to open (this is common for the kids that choose the cash) She often spends more on my DD,though, especially at her birthday, this is because, she says, since all her other grandkids live close, she does for them throughout the year (movies, eating out etc.) so she likes to make up for not doing that with DD with more presents

I'm not sure about my mother spending on me, my sister or brothers, or the grandkids. I would assume it would be about the same, but then, I've never tried to figure out the price of things and compared.

 

[aahmom1]

MIL is my husband's step-Mother so there is a BIIIIGGGG gap between what she gets my kids and what she gets her 'real' grandkids. Like for instance they do not even acknowledge my kids birthdays, but for her 'real' granddaughter she bought her a big beautiful trampoline with enclosure. She spends $50 a piece on our kids for Christmas, and I have to tell her what they want, and literally has piles of presents under the tree for her 'real' grandkids. It's really kind of sad.

 

[JulesMom]

My inlaws and parents spend the same on each kid

My inlaws always get big gifts for the kids...this year DS got an Xgames bicycle--very cool. DD got a portable DVD player

 

[KarenB]

I have a Christmas Club and I try to divide that out fairly. DH and I may spend a little more on my mother because she lives near by and does alot for our children. (I am sure that my MIL would be the same way if she lived closer though) My mom buys more for our children than my MIL, but again, she is closer and only has three grand children to buy for , while MIL has 10!!

I think it is a pretty fair deal.

Karen

 

[mtemm]

My mom has always gone to great lengths to be equal to her 3 children, her 3 sons-in-law, and her 5 grandchildren. My husband is an only, so not an issue.

Now if you are talking in reverse, do we give equally to our parents...well, sortof. We usually spend the same on both my parents together that we spend on dh's mom alone... After all, not only is he an only, but his father has never been in his life. Somehow it just seems fair.

Daniel is our current only...and he's only 10 months. If we are blessed to have another, we will definitely try to make quantity and $ equal.

I can't understand spending different amounts...especially drastically different amounts...on siblings/cousins!

Same theory on wills...I think hard feelings come to play if they are uneven.

 

[ByTheSea]

A pet peeve of mine, and contributing factor to our decision to "opt out" of gift exchanges this year - we have asked that people make charitable donations instead...

My Mother always thought it was important that she give the same NUMBER and TYPE of gifts, but she has 3 "favorite" grandsons... so all the grandkids would get one item of clothings (Abercrombie and Finch for the favorites, Walmart for the others) one "toy" usually $50 video games for the favorites, $5-$10 toys for the others.... etc... as my DS got older I didn't want him to feel second class... so we decided to just ask for no presents.... DS is a sweety, he much prefers giving gifts to the nearby Children's home than get gifts that he never particularly cared for anyway....

I used to go to the other extreme, made sure I came within a dollar or two for each neice and nephew, which was challenging at times, but I remember growing up and realizing how much more my Brother's gifts cost than those I received.. and it didn't feel good.

 

[Buckalew]

How could someone do this??? Spending differently on one child than the others? Whoa. You all deal with some petty parents and in-laws. Do these people think children do not notice such things?
How very sad.

 

[Rajah]

We don't really spend the same on each person, but we do try to get or make things that each person will enjoy equally.

No kids yet, so that isn't an issue for us.

 

[believe]

My Mom and Dad spend about the same on each grandchild and child. My MIL and FIL spend the same on each grandchild....down to the penny. DH and I spend the same on each of his nephews on his side. We do spend a little differently on my side. Out of the 13 nieces and nephews we spend the same on 11 of them. We are Godparents to 2 and do an extra exchange with them privately. If we spend differently then the differently part is done in private

 

[catsrule]

No, but it doesn't bother me, because I know they cannot afford it, and I would rather them spent it on their kids, anyway.

 

[tiggerlover]

I grew up with parents who spend equal amounts (usually to the penny) and they continue that with us today, as well as with our spouses and children. Because of that I tend to do the same, but usually not to the penny, if I spend $30 on one and then see somethign for another at $28, I won't add the extra $2 to the box like my mother would.

DH's grandmother used to do what you describe to a degree, she would give her daughters children better and more expensive gifts than he sons children (DH and sibs) and they would all get them in front of one another, so there was a lot of resentment when they were kids. Makes the kids think they are loved less than the others. Very sad.

 

[KimRaye]

Many thoughts here~

I try my best to keep equal with my kids but, it DOESN'T work! DS will get a lesser amount of gifts but, his gifts cost MORE than DD's (DS KNOWS this). So, DD will get more presents than DS but, hers cost less (obviously).

I have one niece and one nephew and, although I spent LESS on my (Goddaughter)Niece than I did on my nephew, the amount of gifts for my niece would appear to be MORE than for my nephew so, I mailed one thing to my niece.

My SIL's are all receiving about the same thing, Yankee candles in various holiday forms, all the same amount of $. These same gifts are also being given to my kid's Godmothers and, DD's teacher and, one of my aunts.

My brothers, again a problem. I spent about the same but, one will 'seemingly' get more than the other! Again I !

And, my parents! Forget it!! I'm combining everything all-in-one to Gramma & PaPa to overcome the $$-spent-issue!!

Now my in-laws are another story ~ they give $10 to EVERYBODY on their BD's (including me )and, $25 to ALL the grandkids on Christmas! By far, it's plain, simple and, easy to understand!

UGH!! This thread just reminded me of some things I'd rather NOT have to deal with ~ My Love equalling out to $$ spent!!! (It's the 'receivers' that make me feel this way!)

 

[sharbear]

Mt parents and my IL's spend about the same for each of their grandkids. I try to spend the same on each of my nieces and nephews, sometimes it's difficult because they want different things but I come close. This year my SIL won the Christmas sweepstakes, she got more than anybody else but no one will mind since she is so nice and very generous.

On the other hand my friend has a MIL who plays favorites to her grandchildren. She give her middle child much less than the other kids. The problem is this girl has a cousin who is the exact same age who is in her class and the cousin gets all this stuff and she gets wierd stuff. The kids are older now and they just think grandma's a nut. Sometimes you just have to explain to your kids that some people just aren't nice and sometimes those people are your relatives.

 

[Kteacher]

We all try to, but there is one member of the family who usually "gifts" us with logo merchandise from the company she works for. What does a 10 year old need with a Mobil-Exxon coffee mug?