Does your childs grade school....

[Jacoby 46]

No - our school's policy is that parents or kids cannot hand out invitations at school at all. Any birthday invitations must be mailed to the children's homes.

Same at my daughter's school!

 

[shortbun]

No - our school's policy is that parents or kids cannot hand out invitations at school at all. Any birthday invitations must be mailed to the children's homes.

Now that's a great policy!!! I'm so sick of seeing and hearing about schools dictating the social lives of children. In the real world, not everyone gets invited and grade school is an ok place to learn about that. My son's parties were always limited to the number of guests by his age. When he turned 4-four guests; 6-six guests and so forth up until age 10 when we changed the format to a sleepover and limited the guests to 4 with no gifts. We've had five sleepovers and the guests have changed over the years but I would NEVER have invited the whole class-that is just nuts!!! I would NEVER have asked a teacher or staff person to hand out the invites either-that's crazy bold as far as I'm concerned. We take care of our own invites, either by mail or by phone.

 

[Flight]

At our school, if the invitations are handed out in class, everyone must be invited. If you do not like the policy, then mail them out yourself.

 

[jodifla]

Would you hand out invites at a party only to a special few? It is considered poor manners to do that. An adult would feel slighted, how can you expect a child to feel? The kids who recieve the invites are almost certain to talk about and say "Suzy, did you get an invite to Mary's party?" Maybe your child will keep mum but will the ones who were invited?

This "special snowflake" talk is silly. Sometimes it just comes down to manners. Either you have them or you don't.

Exactly. It's like publicly handing out party invitations at work, only to a few people. It's rude.

 

[jodifla]

So, the bully that terrorizes my child has to be invited or no one gets invited and my child gets no birthday party? That's ridiculous.

Or maybe so you can skip the special needs kid in the class, inviting everybody else?

Yeah, I'd invite the bully. I'd consider it intervention time!

 

[Mickey's Minion]

Our school has no desire to regulate what goes on in people's homes after school hours (except for instances such as abuse), so no mandates on what to do for parties.

However, they do have the right and exercise it to regulate what goes on in their classrooms. No invites are allowed on school property unless there is one for every child or every same-sex.

However, they also make it easy for us to do invites out of school in that we have a parent directory with each class list complete with addresses, phone numbers and e-mail addresses from parents that have ok'd their addresses listed. 99% of the parents ok their info listed because you can usually get the same info from google or whitepages.com. Having the e-mail addresses available for not only your child's class, but also from other classrooms where your child may have friends, has made e-vite the popular way to let people know about birthday parties.

 

[Mrs.Reese]

I think I love you, and wish you taught my children!! Good for you. Asking the teacher to go against school rules puts them in a crappy position, and frankly, takes a lot of brass!!

Thanks Kristen!

 

[Mickey's Minion]

I think it's a ridiculous rule. What does it matter if the invitations are discreetly slipped into the child's folder by the teacher? It's so much easier to send them into school to be handed out than try to get everyone's contact info, at least with the younger children. I love the business card idea mentioned by a pp, though.

Because it is your child's party and not the teacher's responsibility. If you are too lazy to do the leg work for your party, then you shouldn't have the party.

Every parent says "oh, it is only a few minutes of the teacher's time", but a few minutes x 25 for different things starts to add up. Teachers only get a few minutes here and there of personal time. I certainly wouldn't ask them to take a few of those precious break minutes doing my personal business for me because I am too lazy.

 

[Mickey's Minion]

Our school does have a policy that the whole class must be invited in order for the invites to go out via Thursday folder or agenda.

I, however, am a rebel and completely disregard this. I have always sent invites to school with my children to only the ones they invite.

I always have my children give the invites to the teacher and ask her to distribute them....no teacher has ever had a problem with it...they must be rebels too

This year I even had to contact the teacher on the day of a Friday sleepover because dd was sick....teacher was nice enough to track down all of the kids and tell them about the rescheduling!

I do tell my kids to be discreet and not to talk about their party with the whole class. It's just a fact of life...not every child is going to be friends with everyone.

Is because I think it's a dumb policy an okay answer?

Seriously, I probably could just mail most of them. The school won't give out addresses, but I know most of the parents of the children we invite.

I think it's just the old "special snowflake" mentallity rearing it head again. Someone's precious angel might be scarred for life if he/she is excluded from ANYTHING....seriously people. It might actually build some character.

I also failed to note that I always send a note to the teacher w/ the invites saying that I completely understand the policy but I think it's bunk....and it's completely okay w/ me if they send them right back home to me to deal with in some other way. Never had a problem. Guess most teachers think it's unnecessary too

May I also add that my children never hand out invites.....the teacher always does it discreetly.

So, you purposely refuse to follow a school policy just to teach those children a lesson? You do realize that believing that your child is above the rules or policies of the school, even if you think the policy is "bunk", is the ultimate definition of "snowflake?"

A parent that actually relishes the possibility of hurting children's feelings and is proud of it?

Just follow policy and do your own dirty work and mail them out. Forcing the teachers into a position of having to choose to go against a rule that might hurt their job is just insensitive and rude.

I am also flabbergasted that you thought it was perfectly ok for you to not have to spend the time to track your kid's party guests down to tell them of a change in party plans, but thought it was ok to ask the teacher to spend personal time to do that for you. I had no idea that school districts were adding personal party planner for students into their contracts.

 

[Nancyg56]

So, you purposely refuse to follow a school policy just to teach those children a lesson? You do realize that believing that your child is above the rules or policies of the school, even if you think the policy is "bunk", is the ultimate definition of "snowflake?"

A parent that actually relishes the possibility of hurting children's feelings and is proud of it?

Just follow policy and do your own dirty work and mail them out. Forcing the teachers into a position of having to choose to go against a rule that might hurt their job is just insensitive and rude.

I am also flabbergasted that you thought it was perfectly ok for you to not have to spend the time to track your kid's party guests down to tell them of a change in party plans, but thought it was ok to ask the teacher to spend personal time to do that for you. I had no idea that school districts were adding personal party planner for students into their contracts.

Makes you wonder, doesn't it?

 

[llij]

Because it is your child's party and not the teacher's responsibility. If you are too lazy to do the leg work for your party, then you shouldn't have the party.

Every parent says "oh, it is only a few minutes of the teacher's time", but a few minutes x 25 for different things starts to add up. Teachers only get a few minutes here and there of personal time. I certainly wouldn't ask them to take a few of those precious break minutes doing my personal business for me because I am too lazy.

As a teacher, I just want to say "Thank you!" I'd love to have you as a parent in my classroom.

 

[marshallandcartersmo]

I also have mixed feelings.

Both of my DS's have birthdays coming up, and we've already started thinking about invite lists. No, they do not want to invite everyone in their whole class---they don't LIKE everyone in their class.

But they are 8 & 5 years old, how are they supposed to get addresses to their friends to mail out invitations? The 8 year old probably could---but probably not discreetly. Other kids would see what was going on, there goes the whole "secretive" issue. I doubt my 5 year old could, he's still working on writing letters--don't think he could get someones address down pat.

The school won't give out addresses/phone numbers due to privacy issues, and I don't know some of the kids they want to invite or their parents at all........

 

[Mickey's Minion]

I also have mixed feelings.

Both of my DS's have birthdays coming up, and we've already started thinking about invite lists. No, they do not want to invite everyone in their whole class---they don't LIKE everyone in their class.

But they are 8 & 5 years old, how are they supposed to get addresses to their friends to mail out invitations? The 8 year old probably could---but probably not discreetly. Other kids would see what was going on, there goes the whole "secretive" issue. I doubt my 5 year old could, he's still working on writing letters--don't think he could get someones address down pat.

The school won't give out addresses/phone numbers due to privacy issues, and I don't know some of the kids they want to invite or their parents at all........

It really isn't that hard folks.

If you have the name of the child, which you should have if you are going to invite them to a party, then the internet is a wonderful tool. Unless you are open enrolled or at a private school where kids come from all over the place, it is pretty easy to look up a name and address online via websites such as www.dexknows.com.

Some of us even still get those huge, antiquated things called phonebooks on our doorstep every year where we can actually open them up and look up the name and get the address.

If your child is very young and only wants to invite "Bobby" but you have no idea what their last name is, then ask a good friend's parent (a kid that is going to be invited anyway) what the last name is.

Yes, it takes some time and work, but that is our responsibility as a parent. And it certainly is not rocket science to find out how to invite kids to a birthday party while still being discreet.

 

[marshallandcartersmo]

It really isn't that hard folks.

If you have the name of the child, which you should have if you are going to invite them to a party, then the internet is a wonderful tool. Unless you are open enrolled or at a private school where kids come from all over the place, it is pretty easy to look up a name and address online via websites such as www.dexknows.com.

Some of us even still get those huge, antiquated things called phonebooks on our doorstep every year where we can actually open them up and look up the name and get the address.

If your child is very young and only wants to invite "Bobby" but you have no idea what their last name is, then ask a good friend's parent (a kid that is going to be invited anyway) what the last name is.

Yes, it takes some time and work, but that is our responsibility as a parent. And it certainly is not rocket science to find out how to invite kids to a birthday party while still being discreet.

you are a genius!!

 

[Mickey's Minion]

you are a genius!!

Nah, not even close. Otherwise I would be a rocket scientist. But thanks anyway! As I said, not difficult, just takes good old fashioned time and energy. A parent's time and energy, not a teacher's.

 

[Mickey's Minion]

Makes you wonder, doesn't it?

I know. I could just imagine the threads on here if a boss walked into one of their employee's offices, handed them a list for their Christmas Party and told them to track down each of the guest's phone numbers, call them and tell them the party is moved to Saturday. And expect the employee to do it on their break time because, you know, it would only take 5 minutes out of their personal time - that is not much to ask, now is it?

 

[JerseyJanice]

I didn't know what you were talking about, Mickey's Minion, but it must be this from page 2:

This year I even had to contact the teacher on the day of a Friday sleepover because dd was sick....teacher was nice enough to track down all of the kids and tell them about the rescheduling!

I really hope this poster was kidding. How you could have a child spend the night at your house, but not have their phone number? What would happen if the child got sick during the night? Would the poster call the teacher and ask her to get in touch the child's parents?

Teachers are employed to teach, not be a parent's personal secretary.

 

[Mickey's Minion]

I didn't know what you were talking about, Mickey's Minion, but it must be this from page 2:



I really hope this poster was kidding. How you could have a child spend the night at your house, but not have their phone number? What would happen if the child got sick during the night? Would the poster call the teacher and ask her to get in touch the child's parents?

Teachers are employed to teach, not be a parent's personal secretary.

 

[Ciao Mickey]

Ask that you invite everyone in the class, or at least all the same sex, to a birthday party??? Ours does and I have mixed feelings.

I always sent invites out to the whole class. I remember hoping for some *no shows* because, depending on where the party was held, it got costly at times, but that never happened.

I could never exclude any kids from a class birthday party, it didn't seem the right thing to do.

 

[gymboqueenkaylee]

At my daughter school they can't bring invites to school and pass them out unless they have one for everyone in the class (preschool). I don't have a problem with that, I think it's a good idea so that no kids feeling are hurt. Thankfully, my daughters birthday is in the summer so I pretty much can invite whom ever I want and no one will care. I usually just mail the invites to the kids she wants to invite. Last year it was everyone in her class.