Does your 18 year old have a curfew?

[GoldieSaysMeep]

I never had a curfew and never stayed out past 12 most nights anyway. If I did it was for something like a concert, late night movie showing etc.

 

[Aisling]

My son is 17 and has a 9 pm curfew on school nights if he's at a friend's house, and 7 if he's out at the mall/park etc. On weekends he has no curfew as long as he's in a friend's home. I won't have him out on the street late at night. The same rules will apply when he turns 18, and he knows it. I'm flexible, though, if there's a special ocassion involved.

 

[mamacatnv]

I think NotUrsula made some valid points.

DS never had a curfew. During his Sr. year, he could drive and had his own car, he also had a girlfriend and he requested we give him a school night curfew (make us the bad guys not him) We always knew where he was and what he was doing and never saw the need to put a specific time on his return.

The summer following his Sr. year we made a deal - if not going to be home by 2 a.m. he had to send me a text letting me know what he was doing and that he was alright. Upon arrival home no matter the time he had to wake me and tell me he was home.
This worked out well, if I woke up and it was 2:30 and he was not home I could check my phone and know where he was.

Then he went to college for a year, and now he is back home for the summer. I told him to send a text like always but not to wake me anymore upon arriving home, I have gotten used to his absence and I like my sleep. We no longer need to know exactly what he is doing and where he is going. These days his texts consist of "going out after work, will be late". That works for me.

I think we parents impose curfews and such for our benefit/peace of mind. If by age 18 we have not taught our kids good judgment, sound reasoning and how to take care of themselves then we have not given them the tools they need.

 

[Vixen]

man i go out to clubs here in nicaragua and i see 15 year olds out at 3am! note: drinking age here is 18 but they still get in

 

[prettyprincessbelle]

I was 25 and still living at home and still had to follow some rules, although it was things mostly out of respect for not having to pay rent. I could come and go as I pleased, but I needed to be home at a reasonable hour 12-1, not too unreasonable compared to having to pay rent and other bills. Heck, I didn't move out on my own until I had been married almost a year, although by then I was paying quite a bit on the bills and there was no mortgage so no rent. How good can you have it.

This is how I am. I'm 22. I pay my own bills (cell phone, gas, credit cards, etc.) and I pay the water bill, but I don't have to pay rent. So I come home around 1:30am on the weekends and 10:30pm on school/work nights. The weeknight curfew is more for myself, I wouldn't be able to get up for work if I went to bed any later than 11.

 

[rascalmom]

My girls (21 and 17) have never had a specific curfew, but we do have a "case by case" policy of discussing their plans and giving them a time when they are expected home. For the 17 y.o. for example, going to a school dance that ends at midnight - be home by 1:30 (they always end up at IHop, etc.).

Play rehearsal that ends at 9:30 on a school night - be home by 9:45. Expecting to give a friend a ride - be home at 10pm.

Just "hanging" out with unspecified plans for a Saturday afternoon - check in when you change locations & be home by 5.

Of course, the older one doesn't have a curfew, but we still discuss where she will be & when approximately she will be home. This is a safety, courtesy issue more than anything. She doesn't "report" to me when she is living on campus during the school year, but I do expect the same courtesies that would be extended to a room mate when she is living here.

 

[DisneyGemma]

This is similar to me

I live in the UK, and here we are allowed to drink at 18. I'm now 20, and back home for the summer. My parents never really gave me a curfew when I was 18, I just had to tell them my plans really. Now when I'm home, and if i go out on a night out, when I come in, she just shouts down the stairs, is that you, and when i say yup, she says ok goodnight.

I usually tell her what time I will be in out of politeness, I know she's a parent and she worries

 

[Uuaww]

For me, I didn't have a curfew but my parents wanted to know where I was and an expected time home. Now my 6 sisters... curfew is midnight and are prohibited from some of the activities I did. When they said I got more perks, they cited safety as a reason.
Case and point: "your brother is 6'6" 230 lbs... you are 5'3"..."

 

[Kath2003]

My curfew was that I didn't wake anyone when I got in and that I never walked home alone.

 

[ols386]

My kids are well over 18, but when they were around that age, and still living at home, if they went out, we had to know approximately (within 30 minutes or so) when they were going to be home. None of this stuff of them just getting home whenever they felt like it.

We had to get up early for work, and didn't want to be up half the night worring about when the MIGHT be home.

They did pretty well with this guideline.

 

[PlainJane]

I had a curfew of 11PM if I was driving because it was the city's law, until I turned 18. If I wasn't driving, it was a case by case basis. After I turned 18 (was still in high school), I think my parents intended for it to go to 12AM, but after about a month it just disappeared all together (This was not accomplished by begging fyi). The agreement was that I would call if I was going to be out late or if I decide to stay at a friend's house.

 

[powellrj]

My middle DS is 18 and didn't have a curfew until he didn't come home until 9:30 one morning and didn't have his cell phone with him. Now he needs to have his phone turned on and I need a general idea where he is. Its more a courtesy than anything.

He will be going away to college in a few weeks, and I know I won't worry about him as much while he is gone. I worried more about his brother when he was home than when he was in Iraq. I guess I felt I still had a responsibility while they lived in my house. Once they were on their own, I no longer keep tabs, but I know with my oldest DS he will always tell us when he leaves town so we don't worry. If only he had been that thoughtful when he lived at home!

 

[HunnyPots]

My son has no set curfew. All I ask is that he let me know when he'll be home and to come in quietly so as not to wake his dad, who gets up very early. Still, he'll usually say something like, "I'll be home by 11 (or whatever) - is that ok?". He's never given me any problem about when to come in, even when he had a curfew.

 

[raysnkaysmom]

I didn't vote because I don't have an 18 yr old...but I imagine, if my kids are still living at home at 18, they will have a curfew on a case by case basis... I need to know an approx time they will be home or I will worry!!

When I lived with my mom at 17..*IF* I even got to go out, I had to be home by 10pm. With my dad at 18, he didn't give me a curfew, and I rarely got in trouble ....

 

[golfgal]

My kids are well over 18, but when they were around that age, and still living at home, if they went out, we had to know approximately (within 30 minutes or so) when they were going to be home. None of this stuff of them just getting home whenever they felt like it.

We had to get up early for work, and didn't want to be up half the night worring about when the MIGHT be home.

They did pretty well with this guideline.

This is pretty much what we do. The town has a midnight curfew for kids under 18 anyway so that helps. There are exceptions to that but for the most part everyone has to be home by midnight. At 18, going off to college, no, our kids won't have a curfew but they will have to let us know when they plan to be home and since they will be working in the summer will have to be responsible enough to get enough sleep to work.

 

[koobs]

My daughter is 18, going to university and living at home. She doesn't have a curfew. I figure if she went away to school, she wouldn't have a curfew so what's the difference? Plus as my mother once said, you can get in trouble during the day just as easily as you can at night. I never had a curfew either.

The only thing I ask my daughter is to watch the time when she has an early class or has to work early in the morning. She's pretty good about that and will let me know if she is going to be out a bit later ie, if she goes to a late movie and it will end late. I also ask her to send me a text if she is going to be staying overnight with friends. Do I still worry? Yes of course but then I worry no matter what time of day. lol I am getting better. She was out last night and I slept fine. (at least until the dog woke me at 4:45 asking to go out). She's home now so it's all good.