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Does the job you have define your 'worth'?

toledo13

A dream is a wish your heart makes.
Joined
May 16, 2007
Messages
1,642
Hi everyone. I am not 'professionally' doing what I went to college to do. I have a job in another field, but whenever I tell people what I 'do'... it's almost a sneer and an eye roll reaction. I don't think that the job that someone does defines their 'worth' in society. What does everyone else think?

For more clarification- I went to school to become a band director, and now work in the Admission Office of the college I went to as the Campus Visit Coordinator for prospective students. Because I'm NOT a band director (mostly by choice because I didn't like it), I get a lot of comments about failing, not wanting to grow up, etc. since I still work at the college I went to. I enjoy the job... but get paid DIRT. Literally dirt. We got a $0.24 raise per hour today... but lets just say that I'm still making less than $23K a year BEFORE taxes (just throwing it out there). Because my pay is so low, and I'm not 'doing' what it is that I set out and studied for, I feel like I'm a failure, but mostly because of comments others make to me.

What is your take on this?
 
My job used to define me, but I changed careers after 35 years and I'm much happier now.

I've also found out that there are some very cool/bright/interesting people doing jobs you'd never expect. If you like what you do and can live with the money, count yourself lucky.:)
 
People who would sneer and roll their eyes are people I would not want to associate with..

Anyone who "works" - even those who are SAHM's, SAHD's, housewives, etc., are "worthy".. A job is a job is a job.. Don't let it get to you..:hug:
 
I work in a factory making breakfast cereals, I am training to become a technical operator but that is my job. Its taken a long time to learn you work to live not live to work. My hobbies define me, not my job. I love music of all sorts, going to the ballet and opera (have never understood why you are only supposed to like one not both) my allotment and my research in my family history. If people want to be snooty about my job it pays a lot more than many jobs (if I swapped it for an office job it would mean about £20,000 per year pay cut!!!!!!!!!!! and a snob is not a person I want to be friends with.
 

Don't let it get to you. I went to college back in the 80's & had a 4.0 every semester. Everyone thought I'd go on to do great things. But after getting married, having a family & being a SAHM mom for almost 10 years, I decided to go into retail management. Part time too. I'm sure I make less money than you do but you know what? I love it. I'm happy doing what I do, I LOVE my co-workers & my company, and I wouldn't change a thing. A lot of old friends do the snickering & eye rolling thing too when I say I work in retail. It doesn't bother me one bit - if they were happy doing what they do they really wouldn't need to care what I do, or have a snitty opinion about it!

If you're happy then stick with it!
 
I use to feel that my job defined my worth until I had kids. Now I tend to define myself by my parenting.

But I have three pieces of advice:

1) My great-aunt who grew up very poor and became very rich -- and lived through the depression, WWII, etc. -- always said, "Don't EVER be ashamed of the work you do. Just be glad you have a job." I think you can be a credit to yourself in ANY line of work. In any job in which you work hard, are responsible and show integrity -- you should be proud.

2) I think it's important to have more in your life that defines you other than just your job. Church, a hobby, volunteer work, friends, family -- those are other outlets through which to define yourself as a human being. If you throw all of your eggs in one basket -- work, work, work -- your self-esteem will rise and fall solely on work. When things at work are going crappy, it's always nice to have fulfilling relationships and outside interests to keep you going.

3) Don't ever let anyone make you feel ashamed of your job. Chalk them up to being a snob and find someone else to associate with.

Heck, who knows who you will inspire through your work in admissions. You could be making a huge impression on the youth you come in contact with -- rising college students -- and I think that's very important in today's society.

ETA: Judging by how miserable my band director was in high school, you may have made a wise choice! :) He was awesome, but he wasn't exactly working with musical geniuses, let me tell ya!
 
Only you define your worth, no one else. I say the same thing when I hear people complain that the "media" is telling people how to dress or look or whatever.

I look at worth as a sum of parts and yes your job is a part of that. So is the family you came from, the hobbies you have, the life experiences you have, uh, experienced.

I always find it strange when people take only one part of what they are and let it define them. I find it really strange when they take their association to a 3rd party and let it define them. I see a lot of people who self associate as so and so's mother/father/husband/wife and I really don't get it. My mom is not Frank's mother or Tyler's grandma...she is Laura. Those things are all part of who she is but all of her other life experiences and roles are also part of it.

The same goes with a job. If you are doing what you are happy doing then great. If you are not go out and do something that will make you happy. Either way your job helps define your worth but it sure isn't the be all end all of it. No single thing is the be all end all of your worth, especially if you are self assigning it like we should.
 
Do you enjoy what you do? I for one am very grateful for the people working in the admissions office. They are always helpful and caring.

No your job does not define your "worth".
 
No, your job doesn't define you. Anyone who thinks you're a failure is a job-snob! My current job has nothing to do with my college major and I don't have a problem with it at all. The hours coincide with my boys' school schedule. The pay is great for a part-time job. It's interesting, fun and challenging. It's what I choose to do right now. I feel like I'm defined by my values and how I treat others. Being a good mom, wife, daughter, sister and friend is much more important to me than what I do to make money.
 
Hmmmm, I'm a SAHM who volunteers so I make absolutely nothing year in & year out. But, my kids are my life's work and I think it's fine that I'll be taking 20 years out of my time on this planet to raise them. If I can send 2 awesome human beings out into this world who will make someone else's' life better, and I can make someone else's life better isn't that worth something in the end? I sure hope so.

These folks are probably the same sort who tell me my education was a waste of time. There is nothing anyone can do about them, they just don't get it, but it would be nice if they kept their ignorance to themselves anyway.
 
We've dealt with layoffs and my job has changed drastically from what it once was. I'll just say that if my job defined me that I'd be a pretty pathetic waste of space.

You do what you have to and you try to improve yourself if you feel the need. My opinion is that as long as you try, you're a winner.
 
I'm a nurse with 32 years experience. I used to think my job defined me. That is, until I suffered a nervous breakdown partly brought on by the intense stress of the job. I haven't been able to work in the past 8 months. So I'm looking to recreate my life. You know what I love? Packing boxes in a food bank. For free. I derive so much satisfaction from the work, just knowing that some family is going to receive nourishing veggies, meat, milk,pasta, and cereal for their children. You know what else I love? Learning Spanish. I'm not very good yet, but I just love learning a new language and trying to communicate with Spanish-speaking people.

I'd like to get a job doing something less stressful,not nursing, about 15 hours a week. The right opportunity hasn't presented itself. Even though money is tight with me not working, the general tone and harmony of our home has been restored now that I am out of that toxic environment.

Who know? Maybe I'll go back to college and take music, my first love.:thumbsup2
 
I get the eye rolling things all the time because once I had my daughter I decided to be a SAHM. People (including my parents sometimes) act like I'm wasting my talents and education. However, I can't think of a more rewarding and important job than doing everything I can to turn the awesome little people I've been blessed with into awesome adults.

while being a SAHM doesn't define me, I'm not ashamed of the fact that I'm not doing what other people think I should do with my life.
 
and now work in the Admission Office of the college I went to as the Campus Visit Coordinator for prospective students. I enjoy the job... but get paid DIRT. Literally dirt. We got a $0.24 raise per hour today... but lets just say that I'm still making less than $23K a year BEFORE taxes (just throwing it out there). Because my pay is so low, and I'm not 'doing' what it is that I set out and studied for, I feel like I'm a failure, but mostly because of comments others make to me.

?

Sorry-but it sounds as if you have a job that any person with just a high school diploma could do. And the way YOU describe it doesn't sound like your :ideal:" . I

'd think hard about what you really want to do in life, and get further education to acheive that goal-maybe something musically related, even.
 
After I graduated college I started out in the corporate world, worked hard, got 3 promotions and doubled my salary in two years...and hated it. They thought they OWNED me. I took a huge pay cut to do something I really believe in, and 99% of the time I don't look back.

You only have to please yourself however. Looking back though, I DO wish I had used my post college years to save up more money before I was married and such so it's something for you to think about.

Also- are there opportunities for advancement that might come your way?
 
I feel like I'm a failure, What is your take on this?
This is your problem right there YOU feel like you are a failure. Why are you judging yourself to be a failure? 99% of the rest of the world is happy for you to do what makes you happy (as long as it's legal and doesn't negatively impact their lives).

A few years ago I had a class reunion. My best friend did not want to attend as she was not employed - some of our classmates are successful beyond belief. I talked her into coming - I told her 'No one cares how much money you make - they want to know if you are happy and enjoying life." She went and had the best time and thanks me to this day for encouraging her to go.
 
Worth is relative. It depends on how YOU feel.

I've had jobs with BIG titles and I've done menial jobs. My favorite job was a job where I helped senior. It paid less than a third of my previous job but it made me feel WONDERFUL!:cloud9:

I worked with high faluting young people with management jobs who looked down their nose at me. I just smiled. The seniors LOVED me and that was all that mattered. :hug:

Now I work in a BIG office with a BIG title. I love my co workers because I treat them all with dignity and sensibility. Now we're all planning holiday stuff and we're like one big family. I will NEVER treat people the way I was treated, and I constantly remember that everyone is WORTHY. :thumbsup2
 


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