Does it bother you?

[wilma-bride]

What people think of you? I know there are some here who proclaim that they care not what people think. I wish I knew how they do it

So, does it bother you what people think of you and, if so, everyone , friends, family or just certain people?

Those who honestly aren't bothered, why?

Maybe I am just too sensitive but, lately, it has been really bothering me if people 'have a go' or take the mickey. Not sure if it's just me or whether other people are as easily 'upset'

 

[carolfoy]

If I feel something is aimed at me with spite or someones having a go without listening to my reasoning first then it would bother me Joh, but i tend to walk away, I hope my real friends understand my many foibles and traits that make me what I am, I am a very loyal friend and would fight to the death to protect someone I care about, I hope the people who claim to love and care about me know that.
If I don't class that person as a real friend I won't take their opinion on board but for those people i respect I will listen to what they have to say and try and see their point even if its not what i want to hear.
If I bother to ask someones opinion or advice I will listen to it, again, whether its what I want to hear or no

 

[dlpSteve]

It bothers me less the older I get - as a teen I was very concious of what other people thought. Now, as I approach year 33 I'm comfortable in myself and less bothered what people think. My Step-Dad is always trying to tell me what I should or shouldn't be doing and can be quite harsh sometimes, but I'm happy with my life and so is Denise so I just let him have his say and move on.

 

[Minniespal]

The person who's opinion matters most to me is my own. After that the only other two people who's opinion of me matters to me is Tom (DH) and my mum.

Both know me extremely well, both I trust with my life and more importantly both I know would never hurt me or do anything to cause me hurt or pain.

It hurts me if someone has misjudged me or 'just not got me'. It doesn't bother me what others think of me because I know that they don't know the real me.

 

[Strommie]

I am getting much better at not caring what people think of me. I used to get so wound up or upset, and my DBF used to say, why do you care what other people think, so long as you are happy. It's taken me a while to agree with him on that!

There are only 3 people who know me inside out, my mum, my brother and DBF, and they are the only people who I really truly care about what they think, and what their opinions are.

Even my close friends don't always get me, or agree with things I do, but I have learnt to live with that and not let it bother me.

 

[Ploppy]

you shouldn't bother at all what folk think as long as your happy
I mean look at me, my wife always laughs during sex ........no matter what she's reading

 

[DisneyJo]

Joh I care what people think always have and probably always will but I am getting better as I get older, I'm terrible for saying stuff which comes out all wrong and on here I often wonder if things are really written the way they're meant KWIM? I always like to please people and sometimes that's not possible, my DH tells me off for worrying too much.

 

[carolfoy]

you shouldn't bother at all what folk think as long as your happy
I mean look at me, my wife always laughs during sex ........no matter what she's reading

 

[Chilly]

It used to bother me a lot but now I couldn't give a toss mostly.

As long as your happy and so are your friends and family what does it matter what other people think, they are probably jealous of you for not caring what other people think!

 

[tennisfan]

I agree with many of the other here. Over the years I have became less bothered of what others think. I personally think this is due to where I work (more & more I am getting treated like dirt by certain people!). I'm starting to live my life how I want to, i'm happier for it too & I can't wait to get another job as this will be the icing on the cake.

That doesn't mean I don't respect others because I do, I have just got fed up with people looking down at me and they don't even know me, so I have started being more assertive and not being as quiet & shy as I used to be.

It has mainly been certain people who it now doesn't bother me. There have even been occasions where it has been my family. I haven't been rude about it but there have been certain times where what they have told me what I should be doing is absolute rubbish (I would say something else but this is a family board )

I can also see it from your point of view, everyone is different & individual. Live your life how you want to and try not to let others get to you

 

[jen_uk]

Maybe I am just too sensitive but, lately, it has been really bothering me if people 'have a go' or take the mickey. Not sure if it's just me or whether other people are as easily 'upset'

I love you Joh!

Seriously tho I am very sensative and I do take things really personally. I try not to but I can't help it and I do get upset when people are not very nice. I wish I could just shrug it off but I think its a Cancerian thing!

 

[scottishsue]

I'm terrible for saying stuff which comes out all wrong and on here I often wonder if things are really written the way they're meant KWIM?

I know what you mean Jo. This happens to me all the time. I am like Joh, I worry about what people think and also those who "have a go" at me. I am like most of you - I like to please people and make them happy, but with some that is impossible. Like Florence - the people who really know me are my DH my Dad and my 2 boys. Also I have had a couple of "special" friends who I have known since childhood. These are the people who really know me and know what I am like.

Ploppy - you made me laugh !! I like that !!

There are certain people on here who I would trust completely - but only very few. They know who they are.

I care what people think of me, but I know I shouldn't. Life is too short and we should enjoy it.

I feel for you Joh - I am a sensitive person too - so I know where you are coming from totally.

 

[AliceGardner]

Like everything in life it is a balancing act.

SOMETIMES (very big emphasis!) what people think/say can be a big leveller and help us to re-evaluate outselves. If we only respect our own opinions or those very close to us then you don't get a wide perspective.

However, the world has a very large proportion of selfish idiots out there: people who care little for others or take perverse pleasure in other's pain - so listening to them does no good at all It often starts in the school yard, but many idiots never grow out of saying stupid, hurtful things to others . There is often very little basis in what those idiots say, they just keep looking for something until they hit a nerve. To be honest, I think this is becoming worse in the insreasing "me me me" society.

Firstly try to avoid as many idiots as possible (including idiots who may call themselves your "friend"). Secondly, probably the most important thing, is to have realistic good self-esteem. If you know where you are with your life, have confidence in yourself, know your stengths and weaknesses - then it is easy to take a comment someone makes and think "what a load of complete rubbish" or "actually, they may have a point..." (whether you act upon that point is up to you).

Thirdly, on a related note, don't be afraid of a compliment either. Compliments are often turned down by shy people. When you get a compliment - no matter who it is from - take the good energy, accept with good grace and enjoy it . If we graciously accept compliments, then we are more likely to get more.

Best Wishes and take care.

Alice

 

[wils]

I worry far too much about what people think (I know I do!)

 

[saratogagirl]

Joh, I am a born worrier, only happy if I have something to fret about, so I definitely worry about what others think of me.

I love you honey xx

 

[natalielongstaff]

i love you too Joh

I also spend far too much time worrying about what other prople think of me (as you know !!)
we should just not care....but that is easier said than done

 

[fizz13]

I don't generally give a hoot what people think any more, I got hurt so badly in the past by everyone having a dig (friends and family) that i got hard to everything and the only people that matter in my world now that I listen to are my children, thats it!

On the other hand, I am open to other's ideas and views very willingly, you just have to pick and choose which ones are worth listening to, I don't waste my time on stirrers or people who will not respect others.

 

[Minniespal]

On the other hand, I am open to other's ideas and views very willingly, you just have to pick and choose which ones are worth listening to, I don't waste my time on stirrers or people who will not respect others.

Well said Claire

 

[Goofysmate]

Most of the time i don't give a dam but then there are the days where everything gets to you , then makes you wonder.
what you see is what you get with me and i know that i offend without meaning to as my mouth moves long before the brain clicks in, which is hard for people to understand.
I think that as you get older we tend not to think to much aabout what others think & are wiser to ignore the horrible one.
Group hug is need for Joh

 

[scottishsue]

what you see is what you get with me and i know that i offend without meaning to as my mouth moves long before the brain clicks in, which is hard for people to understand.

I admire and prefer people like you ..... you are honest and up front. It's people who are ignorant and talk about you behind your back that I can't stand !!

for Joh !!