Does it bother you when foreigners don't speak English in front of you? (SORRY, DOUBL

[magicfan]

Nope. They are from a different country. It's like saying you can't speak english when you go somewhere else. Sorry, doesn't work that way.

Not what I was implying at all.

I'm talking about excluding someone from a conversation. I don't care if people speak thier native tongue, otherwise. It's just disrespectful to do it in front of someone when you know they don't understand the language, and you know that they know how to speak English. That's what I am talking about.

 

[Sleepy]

I still don't understand how someone can live in the country for more than five years and yet still know very little English.

The answer is easy. Unless you have the means to afford language classes, a way to get there or know someone close by who is fluent in both languages to teach you, learning a new language can be very difficult. I spent almost the first year here with nothing more than the knowledge I learned on my own from a translation dictionary.

To magicfan..........Until you move to another country where you are a minority and crave speaking your native language to a stranger, you will never understand. Have you never been in a lunch room or other group situation (language shared by all) and suddenly began just talking to only one person about something in common that nobody else could relate? It's not that you are excluding anyone from the conversation, it's just that you are directing your conversation to one person that no other can comment. What is wrong with 2 people in that group who may be from the same country suddenly talking about something that nobody else could possibly relate to......in their native language? There are many instances here where Americans and Italians have social gatherings (American military sponsored). Who is being rude when we are in this group situation (at a table) and after a while, the Americans are speaking English and the Italians are speaking Italian, but not everyone understands the other language fluently?

 

[SC Minnie]

I have several bi-lingual co-workers but English is their primary language. It bothers me when they use their other language because it seems that they are talking about others when they do.

That is the same thing in our office. We are about 25 people here from another country and they speak english very well-- always spoken in meetings etc. I have gotten on the elevator with a couple of them and then they start speaking in their other language. I was the only other person there and it really made me uncomfortable.

 

[totalia]

Not what I was implying at all.

I'm talking about excluding someone from a conversation. I don't care if people speak thier native tongue, otherwise. It's just disrespectful to do it in front of someone when you know they don't understand the language, and you know that they know how to speak English. That's what I am talking about.

Ok. So let's say your in Greece. Now 90% of the population speaks only Greek. Yet you've come to visit. YOU speak english. You don't know Greek (or you only know barely enough Greek to get by) so you have no other choice but to speak in English. Should they be angry with you? Are you going to be angry with them? Imagine now that you are in Greece again. You speak their language but rarely ever get to speak your own except when your home. So when you find someone who speaks English, its rather a relief to be speaking your mother tongue.

No, I don't find it rude. If you have a problem with people doing that, then you need to say something in ENGLISH to turn the conversation back more towards something you can participate in rather than being a hypocrit.

I imagine you've excluded plenty of people from your conversation speaking only in English around them.

The reality is that not everyone knows every language well. Or for that matter, has a desire to speak it. I imagine the woman in the car with you was just happy to find someone who speaks her mother tongue when 90% of the population she meets in America won't have a clue how to speak her language.

Imagine how you would feel in her place hmm?

Life does NOT focus only around you. As nice as it would be if everyone spoke the English always and fluently... as nice as it would be if foreigners weren't left out of conversations all the time because of their language.. the world does not work that way.

Try to put yourself in the other persons shoes before you decide to get angry with them. You'd do the same in their position.

 

[magicfan]

Ok. So let's say your in Greece. Now 90% of the population speaks only Greek. Yet you've come to visit. YOU speak english. You don't know Greek (or you only know barely enough Greek to get by) so you have no other choice but to speak in English. Should they be angry with you? Are you going to be angry with them? Imagine now that you are in Greece again. You speak their language but rarely ever get to speak your own except when your home. So when you find someone who speaks English, its rather a relief to be speaking your mother tongue.

No, I don't find it rude. If you have a problem with people doing that, then you need to say something in ENGLISH to turn the conversation back more towards something you can participate in rather than being a hypocrit.

I imagine you've excluded plenty of people from your conversation speaking only in English around them.

The reality is that not everyone knows every language well. Or for that matter, has a desire to speak it. I imagine the woman in the car with you was just happy to find someone who speaks her mother tongue when 90% of the population she meets in America won't have a clue how to speak her language.

Imagine how you would feel in her place hmm?

Life does NOT focus only around you. As nice as it would be if everyone spoke the English always and fluently... as nice as it would be if foreigners weren't left out of conversations all the time because of their language.. the world does not work that way.

Try to put yourself in the other persons shoes before you decide to get angry with them. You'd do the same in their position.

First of all, how do you know these people know very little English? You are making an assumption there. A lot of people here speak English very well.

And, I am not a hypocrite... your making another assumption. I also never said I was "angry"---I just happen to think it is inconsiderate. Maybe you are one of those rude people I speak of....

You have a lovely way with words. And, for the record, if I am capable of speaking the same language as the others, I would never completely leave someone out of the entire conversation. I am more polite than that. Some people, such as yourself, don't understand what manners are.

If I were in another country:

It would have nothing to do with me being happy that there is another person there who speaks my language. I would, at the very least, talk to both (if there were also a non English speaking person present---and I'm not talking about some bystanders, either-- in both languages, as to not make the other person feel uncomfortable. Again, I was not "angry", so don't put words in my mouth. And, no, I do not completely leave people out of a conversation, as you implied not even knowing me. I am conscious about everyone and would not want to make anyone feel left out.

As for everyone else---I understand your points of view, and will take that into consideration.

 

[sweet angel]

This is not to rub anyone the wrong way, but simply my opinion.

There are several towns in NJ that come to mind where they have a large population of one particular ethnic group. The people who live there have no need to learn English because they have every service available to them in their "home" language. Lawyers, doctors, accountants, delis, you name it, they have it. This enables them to not HAVE to learn English (which, last I checked was the official language here).

As I said before, if I moved to another place where a different language was spoken as the "official" language, you can bet I'd learn it and not expect everyone to accomodate me. Why move here if you're not going to interact and blend, if you will, with the general population?

 

[magicfan]

I would just like to add that both of these people I spoke of in the OP were doing a PAID SERVICE FOR ME. That has everything to do with my comment. I would think that if they wanted a good tip from me (both of these people live off of tips) they would take at least some of their time to converse with me in English. I have no idea if they are saying bad things about me, or what. If two people purposely talked in another language, laughed and looked at you, how do you know they aren't talking about you? It's just impolite/ I don't want everything thinking that I dislike foreigners and do not think they should EVER speak thier native tongue. That's not how I feel at all. But, when running a business in America---they should speak our language.

 

[RitaZ.]

I think it's rude to do that. BTW,English is my second language. To me, t's a clear sign that you are excluded from the conversation when those around you carry on in a foreign language, especially when they are providing a service. I would feel VERY uncomfortable and would probably get up and leave the establishment.

Here is one of my favorite stories to tell~

We went to a Subway shop near the Orlando Premium Mall, I think it was last year. Anyway, I ordered 3 kid's sandwiches, one sub for me & DH ordered his. When I went to pay for the food, there were 6 sandwiches. I told the girl, in English, that we had only ordered 5 sandwiches. She gave me a nasty look, turned to the other girl and told her in Spanish that I had ordered 4 kid's sandwiches and that I was mistaken. Imagine her shock when I responded to her in Spanish telling her that she was mistaken, that I had only ordered 5 sandwiches for our family of 5. Their jaws just dropped when they heard me, it was priceless. From that point on, they only spoke to me in Spanish and totally changed their attitude. DH had no idea what was going on and asked me "what it was all about" when we sat down to eat. He thought it was hilarious!

 

[Sleepy]

First of all, how do you know these people know very little English? You are making an assumption there. A lot of people here speak English very well.

Unless you carry on an intense conversation with a person other than "Good day, how are you? The weather is terrible today, etc", you really have no idea how fluent a person is in another language. People learn full sentence responses in common situations (their job, buying food, asking directions, etc)and it does not mean they are fluent in a language. When I moved here, I knew NO Italian! I still do not speak fluently. People speak to me and for the most part, I take a few words from the sentence to figure out what they are saying. I remember the first person we encountered who was Italian and spoke no English. He was the bus driver on the base. We asked him a question about the bus. He spoke in the most beautiful English "I don't speak English". My husband was POd. He said "If this guy can say I don't speak English, then he CAN speak English". Funny thing is we quickly learned to say, in Italian, I don't understand or I speak little Italian". I'm sure the Italians thought the same of us when we said that.

As far as your cab driver.........Yes, he was doing a service for you, but exactly what is his service? To drive a car to your destination perhaps? There is NO requirement for him to carry on a conversation with you. I have been in many cabs where the driver said nothing. Never bothered me as I really had nothing to say.

I guess I am assuming when I say I think you are more concerned with being talked about when you are around 2 other people who do not speak English. It seems to be the focus of your posts. You seem to have opinions of these same people, so whether or not they are talking about you, you certainly have lots to say about them. Maybe next time.....ask them what they are talking about. Ask them what their native language is and have them tell you how to say common words in their language. Nothing wrong with showing interest rather than sitting disgusted.

 

[susieh]

To all the people on here who are saying it was OK for them to carry on speaking Spanish (or whatever language it was) please tell me this:-

Do you think people who move to America (or Britain) from choice (whether as a asylum seekers or 'normal immigrants') should learn the lanugage of the country and try and integrate into our schools and communities?

I do - and I get very annoyed when foreigners want to come here and change our schools and communities to speak their language primarily. We have a local junior school (children ages 7-11) where 13 languages are spoken! The cost to the local community to provide teachers for all these children is horrendous and education levels are suffering as a result.

 

[mcnuss]

If I am being honest, and I almost always am brutally honest, the answer is "no" if I think they are tourists. I do get agitated when it seems like immigrants are not making the attempt to learn our language.

How on earth could you possibly tell the difference?

 

[auntpolly]

When I'm in Europe you wouldn't believe how "rude" I see Americans being, if you call this kind of thing rude. Just walking up to people, speaking English, assuming everyone speaks English. A lot or people do speak English in Europe, but some not very well. I've been learning Italian, and I think I've gotten pretty good, but you can bet that if I've been speaking it all day, I am exhausted from it, and it I ran into someone to speak English to awhile, it would be a lovely break. That's probably what it is in the OP -- people for whom English is not their native language, and just are relieved for the chance to speak freely for awhile. That's nice ! You should be happy for them.

Why not just give everyone the benefit of the doubt.

 

[Rozzie]

Not really "rude" but when I go to get my nails done the the local salon, just makes me uncomfortable because I always wonder if they are talking and laughing about my ugly nails... I always end up laughing because I always think about Elaine on Seinfield when she had the same problem.

 

[lajones81]

Does it bother you when foreigners don't speak English in front of you?

Nope.

 

[Skywalker]

My opinion is yes, it was rude.

There were three people in the cab, just out of sheer common courtesy I would think they could chit chat in a language that they all spoke. I mean, how is it not rude to leave the 3rd person sitting there like an idiot, staring out the window and twiddling their thumbs?

Of course it is not rude in all situations for people to speak their native language around others, but in this case, I'm surprised the others even felt comfortable doing it. I would have felt bad to so obviously exclude anyone.

 

[BelleBoo&AmisMum]

Yes I think it's rude and it pisses me off. English is DHs second language, one he speak rather well, but when his friends come around (they also have a firm grasp on the English language) they all start speaking French. They rationalize this by saying that I understand more than I let on. Which is NOT the case!

But it pisses DH off to see so many people getting a free ride on learning English when he busted his butt to learn it before moving here. ESL classes are offered for free around here, but when you can conduct your entire life in your native language there's no reason to take the class. The ATMs now have 5 language choices on there.....English is towards the bottom.

When we're in France I do use my limited French and when in doubt I have DH speak for me.

 

[goofy4tink]

This is a huge pet peeve of mine!!! I also have gone to a nail shop where the women doing nails speak to each other in Vietnamese. They very seldom speak to the customers other than to ask for color preference. Sorry, but I am paying for a service. English is the language spoken in the USA. Lest any of us forget...there were plenty of Polish, Irish, Italian, German etc. immigrants that came here to live, their choice. Sure, the 'native' tongue was spoken in the home. But the kids had to learn English for school or to play with the other 'American' kids. Then they, in turn, took the English they had learned home and taught it to the older family members. There were no special ESL classes....we too have about 15 different languages in our schools with a teacher to translate in each language! You can have just about anything that is in English, written in Spanish..from your driver's license exam to the fund raising catalogues that your kids bring home from school.
Now, if I am on the street and overhear a discussion in a foreign language, no big deal. I do understand that we have many tourists here. That's not my gripe.
I have a brother, ex-Navy lifer, that has a wonderful Japanese wife. I love her to death. But, when they get together with their Navy friends, most of whom also have Japanese wives, the wives sit around and converse in Japanese. Now, if they were by themselves I wouldn't have any complaints. But, when my mother, dd and I are visiting my brother and they get together, those women sit there chatting away in Japanese. One wife is the one lone English speaking wife. She refuses to speak Japanese if there are those who speak only English there...especially family!!! She has told the other wives how she feels and they just roll their eyes, including my sil!!! I know they aren't talking about me but it's hard to sit there and not be able to enjoy the conversation. And yes, I can understand how hard it is to be in a country where the language is not yours. But, these women get together all the time and speak Japanese then.

So, bottom line....it's always nice to find the common denominator in conversations. I don't expect people in Italy to automatically understand my English and heaven forbid...my incredibly bad Italian!!! It's almost like the Amazing Race episode where the two guys were in a southeast Asian country, if I remember correctly, and they were insulted when the taxi driver couldn't understand them...one said.."For *******sake, can't they speak English??!!!"

 

[CharlesTD]

No why should it bother you it would be no different than us speaking english in front of them in their country.

 

[malibuconlee]

At my job with the construction company I was usually the only female around. I wish I had learned Spanish because I never knew if some of the subs were talking about me. I always hated that!!

 

[Rafiki Rafiki Rafiki]

My nail guy speaks Vietnamese with his employees, and it drives me nuts. The other day, he was training a new employee and showing her how to shave calluses off the bottom of my feet...speaking in Vietnamese the whole time. The young girl just started cackling, and my nail guy had to put my foot down because he was laughing so hard.

When I told him I wanted to know what he was saying, he said, "I tell her she cut this way, your blood come gushing out of foot and husband come sock me in the eye."