does DCL make parents give kids too much free reign before they are ready?

[imgoingtodisney]

Of course Im not talking about the younger kids. But the 10-12yr Lab groups activities are very spread out with their locations. Can parents of the 10-12 require that their kids not have signin/signout priviledges? I was fine giving DS free roam of deck 5 but after reading the navigators today I finally realized how much doesnt take place on deck 5. Im not sure if Im ready to have him roam the ship to find the group!

 

[DopeysGal]

Yes, you can request that they don't have sign in/out priviledges. My son was almost 10 when we cruised and I allowed him to sign in and out but he usually wanted me to go with him. The only time he went by himself was when we finished dinner and he went to an activity one deck up from where we were. I trusted him and knew he would head straight there without getting into any trouble. He did not spend much time in the lab or at the lab activities, maybe an hour or two a day. He wanted to do what I was doing (that kids were allowed to do) or we would pay ping pong, go to the arcade or shows together. It was, as he says, "quality time together".
I don't think DCL gives the kids too much freedom...they only get what their parents allow (and yes, I realize some parents give way too much for the age/maturity level).
Have a great cruise!

 

[imgoingtodisney]

DS10 has already been having some freedom at home. He had time alone at home over the summer and since April actually. However, in a new environment I just dont feel comfortable, especially at first. Maybe as I feel more comfortable myself and realize that he knows where different activities/rooms are located I'll feel better. I'll need to take him on a tour of the ship.
Can I change his signout priviledges as the week goes by?

 

[CarolAnnC]

I use this as a rule of thumb. Would you allow your child to go to the local mall, alone, and roam freely thoughout? If so, then go ahead. Otherwise, consider that roaming the ship is no different than roaming the local mall alone. It is still a public place, with strangers, and not something I allowed my DD's to do before age 14 on board ship. Just my own feelings on it.

Only parents can be "blamed" for any privileges granted and allowed to their children. It is not the job of the cruise line to police unaccompanied minors.

 

[imgoingtodisney]

Thats just the thing - DS has NOT been let loose in public as of yet. Im sure he can do it responsibly but Im not ready to cut that cord yet.

 

[CarolAnnC]

I have always trusted my DD's, but I cannot trust strangers and for their own safety I limited their ability to roam the ship alone until that age.

 

[Disney Dreamer]

We just returned from our $99 10/10 cruise and this topic was on my mind the entire trip! I have 3 DS's, 14, 10 and 9. The teens obviously can come and go as they please in Common Grounds. I have no problem with that. It did however bother me that they party until 2:00 a.m.!! This definetly does not fly at home! Now back to the topic. When I registered the kids for the club, they said DS 10 could check himself out and I declined. They were almost pushy about this. I asked them not to mention that to him and within a few minutes they asked him if he wanted to check himself in and out! Of course, he wanted to have that priviledge but I stuck to my guns and said no way. I honestly believe that no matter how well behaved kids are with their parents, when they are alone, on vacation on a ship looking for something "fun" to do that is when the mischief begins! If you have ever had a sleep over with young boys, I can tell you from experience, that they want to doorbell ditch or toilet paper, etc. The same thing would happen on the ship. People complain about the elevator buttons being pushed at every floor and the unruly kids and I believe that a lot of that is due to the fact the kids are alone.

Please don't get me wrong here, I think it should be totally up to the parents to make that decision. I just don't think DCL should encourage it if the parent says no.

My other issue is this, Not everyone who cruises is nice. A child could be snatched into a room so quickly and no one would ever know. That really scares me. We like about 10 miles from where Elizabeth Smart was abducted out of her own home, so this is always in the back of my mind. My kids know all the safefty rules and feel pretty secure here in our community but on a big ship it is totally different. I do feel safe on the Disney ships, but you just never know.

Ok, maybe I am paranoid but I'd rather be safe than sorry.

 

[cruisnfamily]

Hi Imgoingtodisney:

I don't know your son and it is certainly your decision to make but I think he'll probably do fine. I don't consider it at all the same as turning my kid loose in the mall which I would never do. I was quite concerned about this whole thing before we went but it ended up working out great.

Posted below was my response to someone asking me about this on my daughter's trip report....this is how we handled it:

It sounds like you were comfortable letting Amanda have her own check in out privileges. How did this work and were you ever worried about something happening?

I think this little taste of independence was really the highlight of Amanda's trip. We are relatively cautious parents and don't often allow her this kind of freedom. Yes, we were very comfortable giving her this freedom on the ship and it worked out fabulously for all concerned. She has moved up another notch in showing us her maturity and responsibility.

The way it worked is that we got one pager for our two children. DS6 and DD10. When DS6 wanted out of the club, they would page us and we would go and get him. Pretty simple. We worked out our own rules with Amanda. They were as follows:
1) She could sign out with a friend only...never by herself.
2) She must have a destination in mind...no signing out to wander the ship
3) She would have the lab page us with her destination."Amanda signed out to go to the movies with friend", "Amanda is back at the lab", etc.

That was it. The lab made it clear to us that it was Amanda's responsibility to have them page us. Once we gave the OK for her to have sign in/out ability, it was not their job to notify us, it was hers. It worked out great! We always knew where she was.

 

[dmfuru]

DCL can't make make parents give free-roam of the ship. It's the parents who gives the child permission to roam about as he/she pleases and all hours of the night.

I applaud Disney Dreamer for sticking to his/her gun even when he/she felt pressure to give the free the check in/out. I believe the CMs pushes the free check in/out policy because it would be less work for them. They would not have to page the parent when the child wants to leave.

 

[zbuddy]

I think you must use your own judgement...ultimately this is the parents' decision to make, not Disney's. Where I do fault Disney is offering the teens things that go until 2 a.m. My 15DS had a blast with the teen group, but was insulted that I wanted him "in" at midnight. I especially had a problem with the activities going so late on the night before debarkation. It's hard enough to rouse a teen in the morning as it is. I just think teen activities should be OVER by midnight at the absolute latest rather than 2 a.m. Granted, out a sea, there's no where they can actually "go", but still plenty of opportunities for getting into mischief.

We are going again in April, and I know there will be double the number of teens than there were in September, so the temptation will be there again to "party late." Mine has a 10 o'clock curfew at home, so I told him he was VERY fortunate to be able to stay out until midnight on the ship.

zbuddy

 

[CarolAnnC]

Yes, I agree that decision is up to the parent(s).

The ship contains a cross section of the population, just as any "mall" does at any given time. There is no screening, nor any guarantee that people of questionable morals and/or criminal records may or may not be on board.

Just last week a local bowling alley here was the scene of an attempted child abduction. The girl was 8 years old and the man approached her in the arcade room while her dad was over at a lane bowling. It was full of people on a weekend afternoon. After he spent time with her, he left the building with her following. Thank God two patrons followed them out and questioned why the girl was leaving too. She said "he just said he is my uncle and to go with him.."

Long story short, this man has a record a mile long for kidnapping, rape and molestation. He is behind bars now again, thank God. Predators will visit where they think they can find a victim.

So, although we tend to feel safe being on board a Disney ship, I think to err on the side of caution will be the way I go. Each parent is entitled to their own beliefs and decisions, however, and I do understand why some choose to give freedom and the run of the ship at an early age. We are all entitled to our own personal opinions, of course.

 

[westjones]

I am SOOOO glad to hear that you can insist on the child NOT having check in /out priviledges! I was under the inpression (from a cruise in 2001) that at age 10 we would not have a choice. That alone was making us think that our cruises would end when our twins turned 10 until they were older. We are just not comfortable with your beautiful little girls roaming the ship unattended.

Now that I know that we can insist on being contacted when they are ready to leave we will continue our cruise vacations! We only had one more year left for the 8-9 year old group and then we just didn't know what we were going to do!

Thank you SOOOOO MUCH for letting me know that we can can still have them contact us for sign out when they are 10 years old! It is such a relief!
Debra

 

[Disney Dreamer]

I tried to edit my post last night to include my other reason but it kept saying that the server was busy. CarolAnnK is right about the cross section of people aboard the ship. There is no guarantee that these are "nice" people. It would be very easy for a disturbed person to prey on kids that are alone. My kids are never to be alone on the ship. After my DS kept bugging me about it I finally had to explain to him that we do not know any of these other cruises and I did not want anything bad to happen to him. Granted, it's highly unlikely but you never know. We live about 10 miles from where Elizabeth Smart was abducted from her own home back in June. This was very disturbing to our community (as well as the nation). It had a big impact on my kids as well. My DS 9 still asks if they have found her yet.

Thank you dmfuru. Maybe I am paranoid, but I'd rather be safe than sorry.

 

[sistert]

Originally posted by Sonya Francisco


The way it worked is that we got one pager for our two children. DS6 and DD10. When DS6 wanted out of the club, they would page us and we would go and get him. Pretty simple. We worked out our own rules with Amanda. They were as follows:
1) She could sign out with a friend only...never by herself.
2) She must have a destination in mind...no signing out to wander the ship
3) She would have the lab page us with her destination."Amanda signed out to go to the movies with friend", "Amanda is back at the lab", etc.

OK, I don't have children so I probably should keep my trap shut, but....

The above solution is a wonderful idea. Though there is no guarantee that "your" child will follow similar rules, if they do, to me it would allow you to have some fun too and give them a taste of growing up (responsibility).

My mother was very nervous when she let me start going to a teen disco that closed at 2am on Friday nights with a dear friend from schoo. We were in junior high at the time. Her dad always dropped us off and picked us up. We never left with anyone but her dad, we always waited inside the club, and we had a marvelous time. We wanted to be able to go back so we behaved! That little bit of freedom was very exciting and we treated it very preciously.

If you firmly believe that you want to keep the same curfew time that you keep at home or disallow check in/out privelages, you'll have to stick to your guns, take the evil glares you're bound to get, and thoughtfully, explain to your child why rather than say "Because I said so!"

As for the CM who pushed the idea of check out privileges, personally I would have reported them. If you said no, you said NO! Putting this question to your child is totally foolish as it can easily make your child angry with you for not "trusting" them. No matter the age, one's mind easily goes out the window around one's own peers.

This is a vacation and everyone should be able to enjoy it.

 

[disykat]

Another parent who would not let my 10 year old have sign out priviliges (if we were cruising this year, that is). I agree with those who say - I trust my child, it's the other people I don't trust.

 

[mcnuss]

Originally posted by CarolAnnK

Just last week a local bowling alley here was the scene of an attempted child abduction.

Reading this post, I relaize we must be virtually neighbors. I am in Londonderry, where are you? Wasn't that just the most horrible thing? We have been to that bowling alley for birthday parties many times. Thank goodness for those attentive men!

 

[CarolAnnC]

Hi neighbor mcnuss!!! So nice to see someone else from southern NH. Aren't the leaves gorgeous this week? Almost at peak foliage here now!

 

[DisneyDarwin]

I do a "restricted" freedom thing with my DD9. I do allow her to sign herself in and out. One plus is that I can walk her to the door of the lab, or whereever they happen to be at the moment, and if there are a few people waiting to sign in, I can leave her and know that she is there and will sign herself in. That's convenient when dropping her off just minutes before a show. Upon leaving, I require her to have me paged and to go directly to our cabin. No roaming. I grab a house phone whereever I am on the ship and call and talk with her for a few seconds. She enjoys being in the room alone, getting ready for bed and watching a little TV. Last year I was travelling alone with her (my wife went birding!) and I stepped out of Pearl Harbor and a dueling pianos show to call her. Two minutes and I know she's fine and we both enjoy that little independence. Yes, she is at risk when walking to our cabin alone, and that concerns me a bit, but I've accepted that risk.

 

[Wishing on a star]

Boy, do I ever agree with the poster who said that they would have reported the CM for asking the 'child' if they wanted to check themselves in and out! That is just not right.... Not with a 10 year old.


One thing about the teens going really late.... I agree that this is like really late!!!! But, then I realize that, on a cruise, if the teens activities stop at 12:00pm, while parents may be in the adult areas.... Then that does leave a big window of possibility for teens to end up roaming the ship, and finding trouble. At least this provides the options of scheduled activity for the teens until the ship-shuts-down, so to speak!

 

[Deb in IA]

We cruised in August, and our oldest DD, 11, very responsible, was NOT allowed to check herself in or out, nor was she allowed to roam the ship freely.

Not that we kept her under lock and key; she was allowed to go up to Goofy's for pizza, down to the shops, etc. We just had to know where she was.

My husband had a very good observation. He asked, "If YOU were a pedophile, where would you want to go? Maybe a Disney cruise where there are a lot of kids roaming around by themselves, with their guard down and a false sense of security, maybe?"

Maybe that will never happen (I hope not!), but not worth the risk, IMHO.