Does anyone require their teens to pay for anything?

[MamaBelle4]

I think it is perfectly reasonable.

But, to be honest, I make my kids save money up (birthday, tooth fairy, chore money) to buy their souvenirs. We then match so they all have an equal amount (the younger ones can't really do the chores the older ones do). We buy them their ears/hats, then the rest of what they want is up to them. They are much more selective spending their own money and it is easier to sway them away from the junkier, available at Walmart for 80% less, stuff.

 

[ADisneyFamilyof5]

here's what we did when my kids were younger-we told them they needed to help 'save' for dl/wdw trips. saving meant helping to curtail expenses on other non essential expenses over the period of time before we booked the trip and then actually went on the trip. we would set up a savings jar and if something came up like a request to go to the movies we would offer the option to do something less expensive (back then video rental store-now it would be redbox) and put the difference into the jar, instead of going out to eat at the pizza place 'let's get one to-go and put the extra in the change jar'...it got to the point where they liked seeing that money build up so it wasn't unusual to see them opt to toss a portion of their allowance or monies gifted to them for a birthday/Christmas into the jar, dh and I were always solicited for any random change we might have acquired during the day, and our cars were never as clean as when they decided to search the center consoles and cushions for dropped coins

we would set a financial goal for a point in time prior to when we knew we needed to book our trip to see if we were on track-more often than not we had exceeded it.

This is what we do too. We have a Disney jar that we put "found" money in. My boys also help me grocery shop, look for deals on clothes, etc. so we can put the difference in the jar. While DH and I pay for the entire trip, we do have the boys save their own money throughout the year for their spending money. Whether its birthday/Christmas money or doing chores for us or the Grandparents, they are usually able to have $100 spending money.

I think it is very resonable to expect her to bring her own spending money. I don't think I personally would feel right about having a 12 year old chip in for anything else. I think 12 is too young for that kind of responsibility. Responsibility should be something gradual and age appropriate. I feel what you are talking about is more suited for a 16 year old. But that is just my opinion.

Whatever you decide doing, just know you are an awesome big sis!

 

[Anthony1971]

I have an almost 12 year old most of his friends are a few months or more older....
At that age they have a very limited understanding of money... they know if they want something and have the money they can pay for it.. they however have no understanding of Disney is expensive nor what amount is a lot of money aka the value of money... at thirteen they may just start grasping the idea of the value of money... Teaching her to save for something at that age will mean nothing more than just that. Weather you pay for her or she pays something will teach her little at that age as far as Disney being an expensive trip. Would I expect her to pay? Well no but my wife and I are older work and can easily afford it... we took our 17 year old Cousin last year and he paid for nothing. At 24 your ability to do so may differ.... I would think her ability to make money working to be very very limited... I would think that Mommy and Daddy should chip in and make a deal with her as what she should do to earn the money to go to Disney... If you can afford to take her and Mommy and Daddy are unwilling to or unable to put anything towards the trip.... Than enjoy the time with your sister the ability to do things like this will change quickly as both of you move on to different parts of your lives... you can explain to her the costs that a lot of people can not afford this trip and you are paying for her so she can spend time with you... If it will be a large burden on you to take her than you can work something out with her and Mommy and Daddy where they pay you something over time or??? but even with this if you get some money be happy but if you never do be fine with that as well.....

 

[Queen of the WDW Scene]

A 13 year old should not be paying for anything in my opinion.
If you want her to have her own spending money that I get but flight, ticket, hotel, food.... that is not the responsibility of a 13 year old.
Is it the responsibility of her older sister? No. If your mom and her dad agree she can go they should be paying her way.
I'd say expecting her to pay would be much more appropriate say when she is 16+ and can get a summer job at an ice cream shop or somewhere that actually pays decent money.

 

[robinb]

***Warning: Long post. Please read to the end, I want some incite:***

Hey, guys! I've been a long time listener of the Dis unplugged podcast, but just joined the boards today. I have some questions that I wanted to get answered before planning my next Disney Trip, and wanted to see what you guys thought.

First, I wanted to say that I am 24, and my sister is 12, and we share the same mother but have different fathers. With that being said, our up-bringing was different from another in some ways. Growing up, I went on cruises and trips to Disney with my dad's side of the family. Her father's side of the family isn't really a Disney family at all. Back in 2016, I came into a financial situation where I was able to take my sister, who was 10 at the time, on her very first trip to Disney. I was overjoyed and thrilled to make this happen for us. It was supposed to be a "one time" thing, but of course she fell in love (who could blame her?) and really wants to go back. I also would love to go back, but taking on the entire cost AGAIN just isn't logical or responsible.

Her and I had a talk about money, and with her being 12, I didn't want to burden her too much, but I did say that the reality of Disney is that it isn't cheap. Even taking the cheapest route, it's still comes with a hefty price tag. We discussed that going in a slower season where deals are promoted to get people into the parks possibly would require her to miss some school, which she didn't like the idea of. She doesn't enjoy missing school (so opposite of me when I was her age), which is understandable, but if we go during a peak season, like Spring break, or anytime during summer, prices will hike up, and so will the crowds, etc. I proposed that in order for her to not miss school, but for us to still afford a trip to Disney, she may need to start babysitting on her weekends to help out with some of her flight as well as bring some spending money. Her dad and our mother gave her some money as well as had her do some chores the last time we went so she had money to spend, but other than that, everything was on me.

Do you guys think I am being unfair by asking for at least SOMETHING? I think it would teach her the true cost of what it takes to travel and how valuable saving up money is. She will be 13 by the time we go, and I don't think that's an unfair request. What do you guys think? Am I being too harsh, or taking the magic out of it? Part of me feels guilty for asking for some help on her end because when I went as a child and preteen, I was never expected to pay, but I also feel like I'm being fair because I paid for her entire trip last time, and still will pay for the majority of this one, I just think adding some incentive to the deal may help her understand how expensive going to Disney really is.

Any suggestions or ideas on how to get her to earn some money, and I am in the wrong for wanting her to contribute something?

You are not being unfair to ask for her (or better yet, her family) to help pay for part of the trip. When we have invited my DD's friends we have always asked them to pay for airfare or park passes and have their own spending money.

I would suggest that you not pressure her to skip school to go at a cheaper time. It can be very difficult for a kid in middle or high school to catch up on missed work.

 

[snugglebug]

I don't think it's unreasonable to ask her to pay a portion. I think it's between her and her parents where that money comes from and maybe you make suggestions to them on ways to accumulate it. On our last 2 trips the kids were responsible for their own spending money, for my littles that money came from birthday and Christmas. Instead of asking for "things" they asked for money for Disney. We have a Disney change jar, but we haven't touched it yet. They both enjoy putting money into it for the next trip, we'll use it when we need it.

Maybe you offer suggestions like saving up and purchasing discounted Disney gift cards. I wouldn't say she has to pay her ticket exactly, but give them a dollar amount that she needs to contribute. How she obtains the money and where it comes from isn't for you to worry about.

 

[crisi]

You can never tell what the incentive of "I'd love to take you again, but I can't afford it - if you can figure out a way to pay for yourself...." will get you with a twelve year old.

Yeah, she can't find a job. At twelve even babysitting jobs might be limited. But she might decide she loves Disney so much that she creates a pet care empire - walking dogs, poopy scooping and cleaning litterboxes, feeding hamsters while people are out of town. She might discover that babysitting at 12 is hard, but being a mother's helper over the summer months works for her - watching kids so mom gets some down time, helping around a house. We've watched kids that age sell soda at the park (which doesn't have a concession stand) during park and rec baseball games out of a cooler on a wagon, and the kids that live on the busy corner by my house make a small fortune in lemonade stands and flea markets.

 

[ajwolfe]

So my twin sisters and I are about the same age difference apart...Multiple times when I was younger they would take me on vacations without my parents and I was never expected to pay anything. Lots of little side trips to places like Six Flags, etc as well that I wasn't expected to pay for. But looking back my sisters were in a fairly good financial place and it was their choice to do that.

As a mom to 10 and 14 year olds, I don't think it's fair necessarily to ask them to fund the trip but my situation is quite a bit different. But I do ask that they do special chores to help "earn" souvie money, etc and that's on them to see how much they earn.

Does your sister have some old toys, clothing, video games or sports equipment maybe that you could help her sell and earn some money from that?

 

[ICF]

No way would I expect a 13 year old to help pay for a vacation, for anything more than her own spending money. She's 13. Perhaps if she were 17/18 and had a job for a couple of years.

If you want her parents to pay something, that is 100% ok -- but no way I'd expect a child of 13 to help fund a trip.

 

[JAMIESMITH]

At 12, I saved over $500 to purchase a pet. At 9, my daughter saved nearly $400 to purchase a flat screen television for her room. In both instances, these were from parents’ spare change and Birthday/Christmas gifts, and a few chores.

 

[QueenIsabella]

I don't think it's reasonable to ask a 12yo to pay for part of a trip, beyond her own spending money.

Interesting that your title says "teen", but she's not even a teen yet. An older child that could hold a part-time job--they might be able to kick in a couple hundred dollars.

Looking bigger picture, I'm a little concerned about your priorities for her. You ask her to consider skipping school to go on a cheaper vacation--that's really not your call. I know some parents choose to do this, but that's on them--they're also the ones who would deal with any fallout (lower grades, truancy notices, tons of make-up work, whatever). Have you also considered, if her parents can't afford a Disney vacation for her, they might not be able to afford college, either? And if this child did have the opportunity to earn money, college savings might be a better goal for her? My youngest visited a college campus with his fourth grade class, because 10 is not too young to be thinking about their future. My 14yo already has college plans (that do change, sometimes), and we're planning on visiting campuses with her this coming summer.

Maybe you should look more at encouraging this young lady to working hard, getting a degree and then a good job, so she can then go on fancy vacations on her own dime. I know that's not the solution you're looking for, but I have to say, I tell this to my kids all the time, when they want something I won't pay for: Work hard. get good grades. Go to a good college. Get a good job. Earn lots of money. Buy your own XXX.

 

[MickeyMouseCD524]

Having been in the situation before, I don't really think it's fair for the 12 year old to pay for part of the trip. Saving up spending money is one thing but paying for a park ticket and airfare is another. In my opinion she should have a chat with her parents and you and your mom should figure out how to make it work. If she were a senior in high school or in college it would be a different story. The adult extending the invite should take care of the cost. We're taking another couple down in a few months and I've asked them to pay for nothing. They just need to get themselves there and that's only because we live in completely different parts of the country and it's just easier. But if you extend the invite then you should be prepared to pay for it.

 

[Summer2018]

I think it is her parent's responsibility to cover her costs. She is a child. When you refer to her as a teenager, that is not accurate. Tween would be a better term. If she were 16 and had a real paying job, perhaps she could contribute more. I can see her using babysitting money as spending money so that she can shop for souvenirs.

We brought my DD's friend on vacation when they were freshmen in high school. Her parents gave us some money toward her food (not nearly enough) and her spending money. It was our choice to bring her, and it was our burden to pay for the bulk of her expenses since she was 14 and not old enough to have a real job.

DD was 17 on our last trip, and she brought her own money for spending. I did not expect her to pay for anything. She will be 20 on our upcoming trip. She and her friend are paying for their own room and dining plan. They are adults with good part time jobs, and they can afford to pay now. They have been saving since June.

We have all helped each other out by giving each other Disney Gift cards for every holiday and birthday. We all have a few hundred dollars in gift cards to help us all out. Maybe your sister could ask for Disney Gift cards for her birthday and Christmas. That might help out with the costs.

 

[barkley]

I just want to say that I firmly believe that any conversations with the parents should exclude the younger sister unless the parents want her present. I know that I personally wouldn't have wanted any family (non spouse) member to be having any kind of trip planning discussions with one of my kids at that age without having discussed it and cleared it with me first. it puts the parent(s) in the position of being the 'bad guy' when it may be totally outside their financial ability to even consider assisting financialy with a trip-or they may have other priorities that they are well within their rights to put first-they are afterall apparently providing a home that allows the op to live in-

I still live at home, so I don't have bills or mortgage to pay, so it's easier for me to swing the cost

financial considerations are not of concern to a 12 year old-with parents supporting themselves, a 12 year AND a 24 year old it's an entirely different matter.

Growing up, I went on cruises and trips to Disney with my dad's side of the family. Her father's side of the family isn't really a Disney family at all.

I've often found that it's often the case that a family can't afford to be a 'Disney family' and rather than share their financial circumstances with others they choose to simply say it's not to their taste. so that's something to consider as to the reason your little sister may not have had the travel opportunities you've had.

 

[Judique]

I have some questions that I wanted to get answered before planning my next Disney Trip

I think it's really nice that you and your sister shared a wonderful trip.

But, if I were the parent, in this situation, I wouldn't think it necessary for either you or your sister to be planning a trip this soon where you need a 12 year old to contribute to the cost.

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

I've often found that it's often the case that a family can't afford to be a 'Disney family' and rather than share their financial circumstances with others they choose to simply say it's not to their taste. so that's something to consider as to the reason your little sister may not have had the travel opportunities you've had.

That's not my experience. I've met many who haven't been to Disney who have been to many other places oftentime much more expensive than a Disney trip (especially back in the day).

It is actually true that there are people who don't get all the hype of Disney and that's totally ok. I went on vacation with my dad but when we went to FL it was to visit my stepgrandma and going to Disney for a few days and Universal but it wasn't the main reason. It was because my stepgrandma lived within an hr of Orlando thus the location made it easier. My husband's family had been to Disney 1 time and it has been over 16/17 years at this point and they don't care too much. Heck the one sister-in-law backed out for this past September trip because she didn't want to go to theme parks for that many days. However, they have been to many many other destinations and they were much more costly than Disney (def more expensive than any of the trips I had taken with my dad). And like them I like to go to other places too so vacationing to Disney too often isn't what I would want even though financially we could swing it.

It is possible that her family didn't have the financial means of course and it's also possible Disney or Disney cruises weren't high on their priority in terms of places to visit.

 

[wendow]

I'll reiterate, OP, that you are a great sister. Every kid could benefit from having a sister like you!

 

[cel_disney]

I am a mom of an 11 year old. I absolutely expect him to save his money and use it on some of the things he would like to do.

He asks for money for birthday or Christmas From everyone to buy things he really wants to have or do. He has purchased a $250 baseball glove, days to go skiing, expensive sneakers etc.

As his mom - I absolutely do not feel that I have to pay for his every want. He has expensive taste! He could have easily gotten the $75 pair of sneakers I was offering, but he wanted the $160 ones. That was on him!

In September he will need a phone for 6th grade. We have agreed that we will split the bill. $15 each. He is more than happy with that and has already put away the first year of money for that so he doesn’t have to worry about it.

In addition to gifts - my son makes money by mowing the lawn and cleaning the pool and helping neighbors with similar tasks. He also always helps my parents return all of their bottle deposit bottles and usually keeps the money from that too.

While he hasn’t been contributing to our Disney trips - I think that’s because I want to go on them, not him. If he wanted us to go on a special trip - I would absolutely not hesitate to expect him to pay for some aspect of it!! Maybe it’s his flight or some meals or the rental car etc.

 

[Tigerlulu]

My two older kids have been to Disney with their bands. We had both pay $150 towards the total cost of the trip. I went both times separately and stayed onsite so I added them to my ressies to give them charging privileges. They knew they could spend “reasonable” amounts and were expected to use good judgement. And if they did not they’d be paying me back. I was pleasantly surprised that they used incredibly good judgment and didn’t spend really even what I thought they would.

At home we pay for their gas, but they run so many errands for us I think that’s fair. They pay half of their car insurance every 6 months. No car note but lately we’ve been discussing getting another car for them and having them pay $100/month towards it.

 

[Alexle2007]

This is true.
Thank you very much. I think my expectations of her may have been a little unclear to the rest of the contributors, so I just wanted to say that I by no means expected her to fund half of the cost. That would be mean and a ridiculous request. I just meant helping out with her flight somewhat. My parents aren't able to help out significantly, otherwise they would be taking her versus me, you know? But I love Disney and I am happy to spend the money, I just think now that she is getting older, having her save up a little would teach her some responsibility.

I have a DS who will soon be 11 and I can't imagine asking him to help contribute to the cost of a vacation. Depending where you are flying from, that could be a considerable expense. Why would you not just ask your mom to help cover that cost? I guess I feel like you should put yourself in her shoes, when you were 12 or 13 and were asked to take on such a financial responsibility to pay for your own flight so you could go to Disney or cruise with your father's family, how would you have felt about that? Would have been able to afford that expense? I think it is terrific you want to take your sister but I think you need to be realistic and talk to your mom about covering some of the expense and not your sister.