Does anyone NOT have a DH help out?

[Feralpeg]

Since I have no DH, yes, I do it all! Not a problem.

 

[gallaj0]

I'm trying to get DW to help out.

I have to buy lunchables for the kids when she's meets the bus in the morning, cause she can't make 2 sandwiches and get them out the door in time.

She can cook 2 recipies, but for a campells soup chicken and stuffing meal, her best time is 3 hours to the table.

She did her own laundry once or twice, and shrunk every single item in it.

She volunteered to do the grocery shopping once; she came home with 3 bags of groceries, spent $200.00, and we ran out of food halfway through the week.

But she does handle the checkbook and bills, so it's not all one sided.

 

[allie&mattsmom]

My DH is very good about helping out. In fact, if I'm up doing stuff and he's in the family room watching TV, he'll say "Will you stop cleaning? You're making me feel bad!" Then if I continue, he inevitably gets up and helps. Gotta luv him!

 

[Mskanga]

I learned to ask when I need him to do something.

 

[Tigger&Belle]

See you can be as good a communicator as you want but if your husband chooses to play as dumb as a stick then it just gets you even madder. I am the same way. Oh, and my husband is a salesman so he is not at his job per se all the time. He is home much of the time making calls etc. NOthing gets me madder than when he comes down stairs with one of those stupid internet jokes that takes 20 minutes to read and shows it to me. I think in the dmn time it took you to open, read, and then print this joke to show me (and he knows I hate them) you could have dummped a load of laundry in as you walked by the washer on your way to get a snack!!

Thanks for the laugh--I needed that! This issue has really been bugging me lately and I think that I needed to let off some steam.

I suppose that sometimes my expectations are too high. He expects so much out of the kids--expects them to do their chores without a reminder, expects them to do a good job, expects them to watch the clock so they go to bed when they're supposed to without a reminder from us, etc. And our kids are old enough to do these things (not the almost 6yo, but the 12 and 15yo and their college age sister when she's here), but he expects things from the kids that he's not doing. I have to ask him to clean up the kitchen when I'm off doing a "project"?

And what about cooking dinner? My DH has always said that he likes to cook and I've asked him to do it one time a weekend, Sat or Sun evening. I've told him to plan what he wants to make and I'll get whatever we need from the grocery store when I'm shopping. He's done it at most a few times in our 23 years of marriage. Now if I plan everything and ask him to help or to make it, he will do it, but I get so tired of planning it all.

Geez, I'm venting (read whining) again! I wasn't going to do that. I guess the problem is that it's Sunday so I've had to deal with this all weekend.

And gallaj0, you're right. It can most certainly go the other way. Not trying to be sexist!

 

[OhMari]

Are you 62, or were you born in 62.

When my husband was growing up, he used to have to clean his whole mother's house on Friday after school if he wanted to go out at nite. So my husband knows how to clean, he just refuses now to do it. And he was born in 62.

If your husband is in his 60's, he is probably used to being waited on - his generation.

 

[leighe]

My DH is actually really good about helping around the house and he does all the outside stuff. He does make me laugh though because there are certain household chores he just refuses to to - like anything in the kitchen, for example. So what would happen if I just refused to do dishes too? I really can't complain though - I don't mind dishes and he does most of the laundry so I'm a happy camper.

 

[tmt martins]

I can't do anything for DW because I'm to busy on DIS planning our next MAGICAL trip.

If they intended me to do all that stuff they would have provided written directions that I could ignore and mess up anyhow.

 

[DisneyAddict_M]

Yes, I had that problem. Luckily, it got better once I got rid of the DH.

 

[jfulcer]

As a very helpful DH around the house, I have to say the broad generalizations about us 'lazy guys' really are kinda hurtful in a few ways.

 

[phamton]

This reminds me of an email that was circulating a few years ago:


Getting Ready for Bed

Mom and Dad were watching TV when Mom said, "I'm tired, and it's getting late. I think I'll go to bed."

She went to the kitchen to make sandwiches for the next day's lunches, rinsed out the popcorn bowls, took meat out of the freezer for supper the following evening, checked the cereal box levels, filled the sugar container, put spoons and bowls on the table and started the coffee pot for brewing the next morning.

She then put some wet clothes into the dryer, put a load of clothes into the wash, ironed a shirt and secured a loose button. She picked up the newspapers strewn on the floor, picked up the game pieces left on the table and put the telephone book back into the drawer.

She watered the plants, emptied a wastebasket and hung up a towel to dry. She yawned and stretched and headed for the bedroom. She stopped by the desk and wrote a note to the teacher, counted out some cash for the field trip, and pulled a textbook out from hiding under the chair.

She signed a birthday card for a friend, addressed and stamped the envelope and wrote a quick note for the grocery store. She put both near her purse. Mom then creamed her face, put on moisturizer, brushed and flossed her teeth and trimmed her nails. Hubby called, "I thought you were going to bed."

"I'm on my way," she said. She put some water into the dog's dish and put the cat outside, then made sure the doors were locked. She looked in on each of the kids and turned out a bedside lamp, hung up a shirt, threw some dirty socks in the hamper, and had a brief conversation with the one up still doing homework. In her own room, she set the alarm, laid out clothing for the next day, straightened up the shoe rack.

She added three things to her list of things to do for tomorrow. About that time, the hubby turned off the TV and announced to no one in particular, "I'm going to bed." And he did.

 

[Skylarr29]

You're not alone... my dh is useless I need to trade him in for a handier model.

 

[graygables]

As a very helpful DH around the house, I have to say the broad generalizations about us 'lazy guys' really are kinda hurtful in a few ways.

Sorry if your feelings are hurt Jeff. I know that it's not a gender thing, but an individual thing (I have a brother who is *great* at home, so I know it can be done!). It's just that so many men are (still) raised with the notion of "woman's work", so we females have to vent about it every so often. Your DW is very lucky to have you! BTW, my DH isn't lazy at all, he works very hard at a physically demanding job (which is why he only has a few designated chores around the house), but sometimes he is so helpless, it's annoying. We had to take his truck to the mechanic today and he couldn't even fill out the key drop form. Pathetic!

 

[poohandwendy]

Husband or wife, you teach people how to treat you. OP< you must talk to your DH and tell him that what worked before isn't working now and you need some help around the house. And then tell him exactly what you want him to do. (do not say I want you to help me more...too vague)

Do not expect him to be a mindreader. He is only doing what you taught him was perfectly acceptable.

Good luck to you!

 

[nwdisgal]

Well he should, because he grew up in an equal opportunity household, but he doesn't. He actually used to be better about helping out - especially with yard stuff. Now it seems like I do most of the housework Since I'm in culinary, I get to do all the cooking, too, unless take-out is involved. Hmmm. I'm not in a very good mood about this - can you tell In fact, I'm thinking that right about now a solo vacation to a spa is sounding really good.

 

[JennaTX]

Well my DH usually helps out a lot, especially with taking care of the kids at night. However, the other day I went in to the bathroom while he was giving the kids their bath, and he was laying on the floor with his feet in the bathtub, while the kids washed his feet and gave him a foot massage! So I am not sure if that is helping out or not.

 

[Candleshoe]

LOL!! Too funny.

/raises hand on hubby not helping.

 

[Pin Wizard]

or am I the only one. My DH sits in his chair while I seem to
do everything.

Been that route once, and it was enough. Being single is better than that...for me. Not going that route again!

 

[KathyTX]

Wow, I think I need to give my DH a *huge* thank you. He does more than I do around here, I think.

There are some things that are more "mine", like cooking. He's willing to cook, but I enjoy it doing it. But if I cook, he's ALWAYS up picking up dishes and cleaning the kitchen before I get a chance to!

He takes care of all the outside stuff. We're about equal on general cleaning inside... whoever gets annoyed by the mess or notices it first usually cleans it or vacuums it or empties it or dusts it. He takes care of almost all the maintenance and repairs around the house.

I've never done a load of his laundry. He does all of his and DS's laundry- every Saturday, they make big piles of their laundry in the floor of my bedroom then the two of them work on it together. I usually do the household laundry- sheets and towels, etc. I DEFINITELY have the easier end of that deal!

We keep an ongoing grocery list, and whoever's headed on an errand that way will run by the grocery store.

We've always kept up with DS's schoolwork and chores together.

Wow. Now that I think about it, I need to give that man a huge hug!

(No, I will NOT trade!)

 

[PixieDust32]

My DH helps out all the time, with the kids, homework, cleaning, he can fix anything in the house, such a handyman. He can't cook but he helps!
Love him.