Does anyone know any good jokes??

Eeyorelvr

Oh bother,I'm in Scotland
Joined
Apr 4, 2001
Messages
137
Hi everyone,
Do any of you have a good joke?
If you do please post me it so I can LOL!!!

:) :D :) :D :) :D :) :D :) :D :) :D :) :D

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I've got a good one.
WHEN IS A YELLOW BOOK NOT A YELLOW BOOK?
WHEN IT'S READ! :D :) :D :) :D :) :D :) :D :) :D

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Sammy

WDW Dolphin May 1999
Disneyland Paris Sept 1999
WDW Dixie Landings Nov 2000
ASMovies Dec/Jan 2001/2
 
I have one it's pretty stupid but that's okay.

There are 3 men on an airplane. Something goes wrong in the cockpit and the plane is going to crash. Suddenly, a genie appears before the 3 men and tells them that their plane is going to crash, and they each get one wish. The first man wishes for all the gold in the world. The genie asks why, and he says "I want to be rich, so I want all the gold in the world." The genie says okay, and gives him all the gold in the world. The second man wishes for all of the silver in the world. The genie asks him why, and he says, "I want to be rich, too, and the first guy already took the gold. So I want the silver." The genie says okay, and gives him all the silver in the world. The third man wishes for all the rice in the world. The genie asks him why, and he says, "Well the plane's gonna crash, and there's probably gonna be a big fire. So then I can make all the fried rice in the world!" :)

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Okay this is korny but oh well

This man was walking down the street and there was this neborhood dog following hime then he saw another man and he came up to the other guy and said does the dog bite and he said no then the other guy went to go pet it and it bit him he said I thought your dsog didnt bite he said it isnt my dog.LOL

99 Grand Floridian
00 Polynesian
01 Contemporary Tower "Can't Wait Till December 1st"
 
This one is pretty dumb too but whatever...

There's this guy who wants to kill his ex-wife. She's visiting his town, so he has the perfect chance, but he doesn't wanna do it himself. so he asks his friend Arty to do it for him, and offers to pay him $10,000. Arty says that he can't accept all that money to kill someone, so the guy says "Well what if I just give you a dollar?" Arty says okay, and the next night he goes to the hotel where the ex-wife is staying. He goes in to her room and strangles her. Then he hears the cleaning lady coming, and he doesn't want her to turn him in, so he strangles her too. The security guard heard the commotion and goes into the room, so Arty strangles him too. The police come in just as Arty is about to leave and arrest him. The story is in the newspaper the next morning, but nobody reads it, because it's titled "Artichokes, three for a dollar!" :)

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Written jokes are so much harder than spoken ones, but here goes: A woman walks in to a deserted bar after a hard day. As she sits nursing her drink she hears a soft voice saying "I like that suit--it makes you look ten pounds thinner." She looks around, sees no one in the bar. A little while later, she hears "Your new haircut is great". Finally she calls the bartender over and asks, "if there is no one else in here, where do these nice words come from? The bartender replies "It must be the peanuts--they're complimentary."
 












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