Does anyone else notice the attention you get as a gay couple with children?

[TLPL]

I have never notice anyone pay attention to us as same sex couple with kids. Maybe because we are biracial couple as well. People assume my partner is the father of our kid and I'm some unrelated Asian dude. LoL. I am fine with/ that as I don't let getting unwanted attention.

 

[WelshDH@98CPAlum]

I'm sure part of the random supportive comments may be because of the same-sex couple with children - but don't underestimate that it could be simply people wanting to hear your British accents and trying to start/open a conversation!

 

[Chuck S]

And don't just dismiss the fact that people who live in the Southern US are just naturally more "chatty" than people in other parts of the US. We've seen people post on these boards that CMs at Disneyland aren't friendly compared to WDW. Having grown up in the Greater Los Angeles area, I never felt the area was not friendly, but Californians, by nature, are busy. They just don't spend time chatting. Seriously, Californians, when asked "how far is the drive to...." will answer in time... like 30 minutes, rather than say 10 miles. When I moved to Texas people were always saying "But I asked you how FAR it is...."

I would just chaulk 99% of comments at WDW up to what is classically referred to as "Southern Hospitality"

 

[DisLiss]

I think it's both a cultural difference between the UK & the US as well as a bit of the WDW magic rubbing off. I'm sorry that it sometimes make you feel awkward, though! That is one thing that worries me a bit about approaching strangers--even to be nice--because you don't know if they're introverts, or in the middle of something in life, or if they'll take it much differently than I mean it.

However, on the whole, I do feel that we, as a society in general, tend to always take the time to express when we're annoyed with someone or angry with someone, even if we don't know them, yet very unlikely to express positive thoughts to a stranger, so I have been trying to make a conscious choice to make more positive comments when I can. Although I do try to make it a very quick comment...you know walking by someone and telling them "Oh my gosh, I love your dress!!", or "Your kids are so sweet to one another! My kids act like they want to kill one another most days, so I love seeing kids being kind to one another.", and give a wry smile and then walk on.

And I have received several compliments over the years about my kids in restaurants and stores, too. I am not part of a same-gender couple, nor are my kids' racial appearances any different than mine. So I don't think that compliments are being made to other people's kids because of either of those reasons. I think you all just have cute, well-behaved kids!

I like to try to say nice things to everyone...whether they or their family look like me/mine or not, so I sincerely hope than any time I compliment someone (or their kids), that they understand that it is truly just because they/their kids are the ones I happen to see being cool/kind/cute/awesome humans that day, with no further meaning at all.

 

[DisLiss]

Oh, I forgot about the WDW part of my post! I wanted to add that we have talked to our kids about specifically taking a moment to be extra nice to people at the park because people do get tired, hot, impatient, etc., sometimes at the parks and we don't want to absorb any negative energy on our trip. Instead we hope to give off positive energy. So we have always reminded them to try to be extra kind when we're there and to try to take any advantage to do something extra for folks. It's not only cast member who can give out pixie dust. We can offer our seats, hand out change for penny press machines, allow someone to go before us if we're at the end of the line, etc.

And i know I've seen people mention giving out little tokens of kindness at parks to random people. So yes, I definitely think WDW magic causes more people to express extra kindness in one way or another at the parks, too.

 

[cj.scribbles]

Oh my gosh I hope you read my comment.
Let me tell you it could very possibly have nothing to do with your sexuality.

Theres something about peoples children from the UK that Cast Members LOVE. And I'm being very serious. When I worked at the Grand Floridian so many proper English kids would come in and stun me with how well spoken and how well behaved they were. Those children were such a pleasure to be around because 90% of the time the other children are screaming and crying almost nonstop.

Of course it's not just kids from the UK or English kids that behave this way but there is a noticeable difference for sure. I mean this in the absolute best way possible.

CMs see so many kids in a day it's almost unbelievable so when we see children that are exceptionally well behaved we almost have to say something kind.

I wouldn't say it's a cultural thing or a state thing at all because most Disney cast members aren't originally from Florida. A lot of them are from overseas or are from other parts of the country. I would say it's a part of DISNEY culture though. When we (CMs) have a good experience it's very typical of us to express this to you or to give you something special.

So I hope you haven't been offended or hurt by the attention because I dont think it's meant in a bad way. If it does become uncomfortable though I would definitely not shy away from saying something to the CM because they'll likely understand. Or you can cut the conversation short.

 

[Archaeren]

Tangentially related because it's not directly about Disney, but I know when I worked in retail and food service, if I registered a customer was queer, I would definitely smile a little harder and act a little nicer, as if I could somehow will them to telepathically hear me saying, "Hey, me too!" Because, you know, you can't just come out and say that unprompted in a customer service job. I just felt that momentary bond and wanted them to get to feel it too.

The comment about how people might linger after making a compliment made me think that might be a possibility for some of these interactions-- they could be people who are also gay who want an excuse to have that momentary connection to someone else who Gets It. In general, I think this kind of feeling is probably more likely in places where opposition feels stronger. If people feel more marginalized, they're more likely to want to reach out and bond with people who are in the same situation, is my thought. That combined with Americans tending to be very outgoing people seems like it would result in a lot of interactions like this!

 

[sweetpeama]

And don't just dismiss the fact that people who live in the Southern US are just naturally more "chatty" than people in other parts of the US. We've seen people post on these boards that CMs at Disneyland aren't friendly compared to WDW. Having grown up in the Greater Los Angeles area, I never felt the area was not friendly, but Californians, by nature, are busy. They just don't spend time chatting. Seriously, Californians, when asked "how far is the drive to...." will answer in time... like 30 minutes, rather than say 10 miles. When I moved to Texas people were always saying "But I asked you how FAR it is...."

I would just chaulk 99% of comments at WDW up to what is classically referred to as "Southern Hospitality"

California has nothing on how far things are answers in time then those of us in places like MT here are a few of them for your enjoyment

Next Door is 1-2 Miles
A Couple of Miles is 10-20 Miles
Not too far is 20-50 Minutes
Around the Corner is Anywhere within a 25 mile radius
A Day Trip is 4 to 6 hours 1 way. As in Billings to Rapid City Oh that's a Day Trip if you go across the Res (Rez)
Hiking It's just around the corner and/or over the next hill is 3 miles or more
Right up the road is 5-10 miles.

 

[tcufrog]

When DS12 was young strangers felt the need to compliment how smart he was and strangers still tell us how cute DS8 is. Both weren’t good because they inflated my kids’ ego. We live in Texas, FWIW.

That being said, I like meeting new people, as does DS8, and we will routinely chat with strangers even when we were road tripping through the UK. We met the nicest people during that trip. DS8 loved seeing all of the dogs out and about and made it his mission to pet every one of them.

That being said, I can understand why this behavior would startle you given the cultural differences. Some of it may be people trying to be allies, but a lot of it may be that your kid is being especially well behaved/cute at that moment and people may just want to give you kudos.

 

[Guyton dis lover]

I am not gay . I don’t care , I think it’s great that some one has taken on raising a child.

 

[Chickinvic]

I'm straight (and Canadian) and people always came up to me to compliment my well behaved/cute daughter (she's 26 now). This is just normal here and nothing to do with sexual orientation. These days they are probably just relieved that some kids aren't being bratty like many act even in public now. As far as gay couples, here in Canada it is no big deal. I don't know about Florida, but I wouldn't pay it any attention at all. I agree with other posters, at DL (California) you will find a far different attitude. As a Canadian (and originally from the West Coast) I find the Americans on the West Coast tend to align more with Canadian values (if that makes any sense)? I feel quite at home there as opposed to in some parts of the US.

 

[Twoboysnmygirl]

I think it could be that they are trying to let you know that they support you. The US is pretty divided right now and I think many people are shocked by some of the horrible things that have been said and done in the name of conservative beliefs. I would venture to guess that some are more liberal leaning people who want you to know that not everyone here is like that, they accept you, etc. I think they mean well just don't understand that you dont need approval, you can just treat us like normal humans, it's ok! Lol

Or it could just be Disney positivity. (Or a bit of both) People are just more chatty and complimenting to each other at Disney, in my personal experience!

 

[eeyoreandtink]

I tend to say those kinds of things to everyone, regardless because I believe everyone deserves a little extra boost every now and again. Maybe it's a southern thing??? If I like something, I let the person know. It has brightened a tough day for me to hear "hey, I like that dress" or "your DD is very patient" when we have been in a long line ect, so i try to pass it on when I notice something. It wouldn't have even registered to me to be unwelcome because a couple was same sex. I would hate to make anyone feel uncomfortable with what is intended to do the opposite.

 

[CampbellzSoup]

No one cares. Took my son and husband and had literally no problems attention or eye gazing.

We also don’t deck ourselves out in rainbow or gay merchandise.