Does anyone else feel this way?

[Gail T AGAIN]

For yrs. I was heavy, 180 lbs. I was made fun of bboth being heavy and not very pretty so now I am starting to really believe I am ugly and fat. I weight 125 and am 5" so I know I shouldn;t think I am fat but as far as the ugly part I look at myself and see ugly both inside and out, HELP, talk about depression.

 

[Tony-NJ]

that you lost so much weight! Congrats on that. I can't believe someone would tell you that you are ugly. I have never seen a pic of you, however I am sure that you are not ugly!!! I know from your posts that you are a beautiful person!

 

[peg2001]

Gail,

I strongly suggest counseling to improve your self-image. If you belong to a church, ask your minister/priest for some guidance. Otherwise, call your doctor and ask for a referral to someone for counseling.

Regardless of what someone looks like on the outside (fat, thin, blonde, dark), they need to feel good about themselves. I am SURE that you are a beautiful person but you need to feel that way about yourself.

You can also try affirmation. When you start having bad thoughts about yourself, force yourself to stop and think only GOOD things about yourself. It will seem hard and awkward at first but it gets easier and the more good thoughts about yourself that you have, the easier it will be to BELIEVE these good things.

For example, when I knock my drink over at a restaurant, instead of thinking "Omigod! That was so stupid and clumsy. What everyone must think of me! What a doofus I am." I can force myself to think more positively "Wow! What a mess, but I guess it happens to everyone at one time or another. I'll be sure to leave a nice tip to make up for the mess."

Peggy

 

[crazyme5kids]

Beauty really is skin deep. I have know people that were physically gorgeous, but the more I got to know them the less attractive they became, some of them down right ugly. On the other hand, I have know people that by most peoples standards were very unattractive. The more I got to know them the more beautiful they became, and I would only see a very attractive person.

 

[believe]

We are all beautiful, we just sometimes forget how beautiful each and everyone one of us are. For me I feel the most beautiful when I am doing things for others, mostly baking for others or volunteering. You need to find what makes you feel beautiful.
I believe glo posted yesterday about losing weight, but not seeing herself that way. I am the same way, we have an image of ourselves and no matter what we look like we see that image in the mirror. Sometimes I have to pick myself apart and not see myself as a whole person to see the beauty in me.
Self esteem really is something that has to start within yourself. Start focusing on the positive. Don't think about what others have and you don't, I know this is something that lowers DH's self-esteem....them I point out all he does have and the self-esteem rises.

 

[antnee]

unofortunately I have experience with this. First let me say congrats on the weight loss and a healthier you. Remember its not about the size as scales are for fishes but how you feel physically. On the mental part I must agree, seek counseling it can do wonders for you. Therapy can be very helpful with depreession and I hope you can get out of this. I wish you good luck and remember we are always here for you.

 

[4greatboys]

Gail, Im sorry that you are feeling this way. I know its hard to ignore ugly things some ppl say but you need to try not to listen to them. Some ppl can only feel better about themselves if they put other ppl down. They are obviously not your friends if they try to make you feel bad about yourself.

 

[Serena]

 

[Planogirl]

Wow, what a super accomplishment losing the weight was! I keep on plugging along but really make little progress in my fight against the extra baggage. BUT, I still feel OK about myself because my extra weight is really just a health issue for me. I think that I look just fine even with a bit of bulge.

And I know that you look great with even more enhancement now from the weight loss. You certainly do sound like an attractive person.

 

[Saffron]

I feel that way sometimes, Gail. This morning was one of them. I woke up with puffy bags under my eyes and dark circles under my eyes. The crowsfeet around my eyes are starting to show. This is how I went to the doors today -- hair hanging straight down with a blackhead band holding it off my face, baby blue long sleeve blue henly waffle weave tunic shirt, a pair of the baggiest, faded, most comfortable jeans with a gigantic rip in the butt that I'm not fixing , a pair of while ankle socks, brown clogs, no makeup, no perfume, unplucked eyebrows etc. I feel ugly right now, but not doing the things for myself that I would normanlly do to make myself feel good doesn't help. Especially when people around you have on the cutest sweaters, perfect makeup, gorgeous hair etc. :rooleyes:

You are not ugly at all Gail. I see you having fun on the boards, reaching out to people, laughing (you have a wonderful sense of humor) etc. You are truly beautiful. Try to do things for yourself that make you feel good about yourself and for yourself. Others around you., like us on the CB, see how truly beautiful you are. Like believe said, do something or somethings for yourself that will help you see and feel that way too. {{{{Hugs}}}}

Conratulations on the weight loss! That's a great accomplishment!

 

[KimR]

First of all, Gail, congratulations on losing the weight!! And believe me, I know exactly how you feel!! I've never had a weight problem, but I've always felt very unattractive and it seems as though quite a bit of my energy and money is devoted to de-uglifying myself as much as possible. Although on the one hand I know what's on the inside is what's important and I don't judge others on their appearance, for some reason I am extremely self-concsious about my own looks. It's very tough!

What exactly don't you like about your looks? You hair, your mouth, your nose? If it's multiple things, pick the thing you dislike the most and see if there's something you can do about it. Is it possible you could have it corrected somehow? Or maybe you could treat yourself to a new hairstyle and/or makeover? There's so much that can be done to improve looks....face creams, cosmetics, hairpieces, surgery...I've done it all! I've had some cosmetic work done on my mouth and it was one of the best decisions I've made. It has helped tremendously with my self-confidence, so much so that I'm also considering having additional work done as well. While I still think I'm far from beautiful, I no longer feel ugly and - wow - it feels great to be able to do something about my looks!

Finally, let me say that I have no idea what you look like, but I'd be willing to bet you're not nearly as unattractive as you think. For some reason, we are so much tougher on ourselves than others are! Still and all, I know how important it is to feel good about yourself...no matter what others think you need to feel comfortable in your own skin!

Kim

 

[Goofyposter]

For yrs. I was heavy, 180 lbs. I was made fun of bboth being heavy and not very pretty so now I am starting to really believe I am ugly and fat. I weight 125 and am 5" so I know I shouldn;t think I am fat but as far as the ugly part I look at myself and see ugly both inside and out, HELP, talk about depression.

Gail... Over my life I've lost and gainned back and then lost again at least twice what you used to weigh. I have no academic creditials in this area I feel I have some authority based on the school of 'hard knocks'. First, it's important for you to decide if these feeling are just 'temporary' (like a bad day) or do you have them with some frequency? In the first case...welcome to "The Human Club" ...we all have moments, and days where we're filled with self doubt. If it's more like the latter, then perhaps you may want to seek some assistance (doing so is not a statement of weakness, but rather "inner strenght" ). I believe that for many it is easier to shed the weight, then it is to shed those aweful feelings of self hatred that happen to so many when they're unhappy with their bodies. I would further ask you to realize one undebatable fact....any chart, any good doctor in the world would Disagree with your assessment. At your height you are not obese. Also never forget that many people here..and in "RL" love and care, for and about you....if you had a horn growing out of your forehead it wouldn't change anyone's opinion who know and cares for you! The source of a truely beautiful person...glows from within....and you, Gail, are a bright light!

Think about allowing yourself to be your best friend, and to love yourself as those around you do!

{{{{{HUGS}}}}}

 

[snoopy]

Yup, I agree with everyone on this thread. You're as beautiful as you feel, Gail. Love yourself, treat yourself, know that your heart and soul are true, and your beauty will shine through.

Congratulations on your weight loss.