Does anyone else feel like this... For Women Only

[ihearttink]

I've been visiting Disney now for 18 years. Have always loved the pools and to swim. Well, I'm 44 now and not in my 26 year old body. I was a size 3 back then and it will suffice to say I'm not that any longer. I also have an illness that makes my body retain fluid. Face, hands, feet, armpits, etc. I

The problem is I still love the pools but I am too ashamed of my appearance to enjoy it anymore. Besides weight gain the fluid makes my top half look lopsided (don't really know how to articulate this), and I feel like people are looking at me.

DH ends up so angry at me for this. He says that it's my illness and he's absolutely right, but people don't know I have a medical disorder when they see me. I know DH loves me and a lot of it is he dosen't like to see me hurt, but I can't help how I feel.

Has anyone else ever had this problem and any advice on how to just deal with it. Last year we went to the quiet pool but it's not the same, I may be 44 but I do love the water slide.

 

[Candice30]

i feel like that sometimes but not due to an illness unless you count an addiction to food. i feel very self conscious about my weight. it used to really keep me from enjoying myself on family vacations. one day, i finally realized that no cared half as much as i did about how i looked and i decided to make the best out of what i had. for me, i started a nationwide search for bathing suits and coverups that made me feel comfortable. i focused on the fun i was going to have and not how i thought i was going to look doing it.

i say, chin up and worry only about how you feel and not how you "think" others view you and have a good time!

 

[roliepolieoliefan]

I really don't worry what other people think.

I'm 40, also used to be a size 3. I'm not real big, but not a 3 by far. I take my kids to the local public pools, we have season passes to the waterpark here in town, we go to the pools and waterparks at WDW also. We actually just came back from an indoor waterpark a month ago,, and DH and I leave next Friday for Jamaica. You can't let it bother you.

Anyway look around, there's a whole heck of alot of people out there who aren't a size 3 anymore. And from some of the sights I seen, they could care less what they look like and some look pretty bad. There's nothing wrong with being a "big" person, but dress appropriate.

Don't worry about it. I'm sure you look fine. You are your worst critic. Listen to your DH, he's not going to let you look bad. Go and have a good time.

 

[formernyer]

I'm 36 and have two kids. I'm still a size 2 and yet I feel very self-conscious about my figure. I think once we reach a certain stage in life we start to feel self-conscious about our looks no matter how good or bad we look. The truth of the matter is that we all "people-watch," but in the end, the only opinions that matter are the opinions of the people you care about (and your own). It really doesn't matter what all the strangers think, since you'll never see them again.

 

[Disneyholic]

I really don't worry what other people think.
Anyway look around, there's a whole heck of alot of people out there who aren't a size 3 anymore. And from some of the sights I seen, they could care less what they look like and some look pretty bad. There's nothing wrong with being a "big" person, but dress appropriate.
Don't worry about it. I'm sure you look fine. You are your worst critic. Listen to your DH, he's not going to let you look bad. Go and have a good time.

I agree with this. I never was anywhere near a size 3. I'm a 14 now which isn't large, but having my second child at 33 left me with a belly I just can't get rid of. I would never subject anybody but my husband to a view of me in a bikini, but there are so many flattering suits out there in larger sizes. I had a large size next door neighbor when I was growing up and she always had beautiful suits. She always looked nice and very pulled together. Just try on a lot of suits till you find one that is flattering and if it is a little lopsided you may want to check into getting some padding to even things out. (Mastectomy aids for swimwear comes to mind. Just a suggestion.)

Whatever you decide, just think PRETTY and don't worry about what everyone else thinks.

 

[Sherri]

I feel the same as the OP.. Within a couple months of having my last child I easily went back into a size 4.
Now I am an out of shape 8/10 and I hate the fact my legs look like they do. I am having surgery for my top (a reduction). My large chest has been very uncomfortable for many years. So happy I will go from a DDD to a small C.
At that point I should be able to start working out again without having awful marks from my gigantic bra.
That said. I know many larger woman who are comfortable with themselves. I think thats wonderful because when you feel good on the inside you shine radiantly on the outside. Don't know if anyone watches American Idol, but Mandisa is a large woman, but one of the most beautiful contestants on the show. Its the way she shines from within.
For the OP, you have a reason for not being the size you want and its your condition. Try not to be so hard on yourself.
My friend and I always talk about what we used to look like and say, gosh can you believe how thin we were and how we used to think we were fat?
We would have never bought a bathing suit for skirts attatched. Guess what?
I bought one for my April trip to the beach. I can't wait to wear it because I will feel less conscience.
You love the pool, nothing should stop you from enjoying them. Lifes to short to put limits on ourselves.

 

[bdg100]

I agree with this. I never was anywhere near a size 3. I'm a 14 now which isn't large, but having my second child at 33 left me with a belly I just can't get rid of. I would never subject anybody but my husband to a view of me in a bikini, but there are so many flattering suits out there in larger sizes. I had a large size next door neighbor when I was growing up and she always had beautiful suits. She always looked nice and very pulled together. Just try on a lot of suits till you find one that is flattering and if it is a little lopsided you may want to check into getting some padding to even things out. (Mastectomy aids for swimwear comes to mind. Just a suggestion.)

Whatever you decide, just think PRETTY and don't worry about what everyone else thinks.

Let me admit that I am an over 40 male. I know it said "Women Only" but ladies, c'mon. You are on vacation. WHO CARES, you will never see these people again anyway. Real men are not looking anyway, they are much too busy looking at their own wifes or, more likely chasing after their three kids. Those extra "baby pounds" are, and let me say this loudly, A BADGE OF HONOR. Finally, take a look back. Most of the men you think are looking at you are nothing to write home about anyway. (me included) My advice to you is wear what you feel comfortable in on vacation. Anyone who takes exception to what you are wearing can take a flying leap in the Living Seas for all I care. Have fun.

 

[tiggersmom2]

I think everyone is self-conscious of their bodies. I am little but I think my thighs are a little flabby and my arms could use some work. Oh well, I am still getting in that darned pool. Honestly, I have seen every size in creation in those pools and no one is looking. Go, have a good time.

 

[bugbugmom]

bdg100,

Just let me say that your words/thoughts are so encouraging. It is nice to hear from the male perspective. My DH tells me the exact same thing you mention. I was just thinking about this same subject. I going in 2 months and I will be definitely be in the pool..how many times will you be able to enjoy the pool with your kids and everyone is having a blast. I will forever cherish those memories. Thanks again!!!

 

[hookedup]

It's ironic you posted this because I was shopping today and decided to try on a bathing suit. I was thinking about our upcoming vacation and how I am really looking forward to going to the waterparks and enjoying the pool but I am NOT looking forward to wearing my bathing suit in public!
I am turning 40 this summer and until today I had not been dreading that too much - today was sort of depressing!

 

[Lorelai]

You are on vacation.

Enjoy yourself, and don't even waste one minute of your precious Disney time worrying about the self appointed judges.

Truthfully, I feel that women are all so nervous about how they look, that they never even really bother looking at anyone else.

We're all so consumed with our own appearance. Beauty is on the inside. Say it with me, beauty is on the inside. Be happy, love life & feel that inner beauty.

 

[LuluLovesDisney]

I've weighed (as an adult) everything between 230 lbs and 112 lbs. I lost over 100 lbs.(eating 600 cals a day) and gained it back and lost some more. I now work at a gym and teach a diet class. I am a healthy size 16 and I would like to be a healthy size 12 or 14, but if I am meant to be this weight I will be happy. My inches and body fat have strongly decreased and every possible test or blood result is perfect.

In addition, I am a beauty advisor and I do makeovers often. Looks do impact self esteem.

All I can say is:

1. Make sure you are doing what is healthy for you. Exercise, drink water, eat healthy foods.
2. Don't deprive yourself.
3. Buy a really nice bathing suit, a swarovski crystal ankle bracelet- something that will make you feel beautiful and confident.
4. Do whatever you like- go swimming, lounge in the sun, slide down Mount Gushmore or go parasailing. Never let something so insignificant as a pound stop you from doing anything you love.

 

[dixipixi]

I was raised in a family full of large people (except my mom, she was always around a size 7/9, 5'11", and in very good shape).

I myself was a size 3 until I had my son. After that, I was a 5 for a while. Then I had gallbladder surgery and some other medical issues that have caused me to gain weight. I'm now a size 16 and although I don't like it, I know I do everything I can. I watch what I eat, walk at least 2 miles everyday, and swim everyday that I can.

I'm so glad I was raised in my family. I learned early on that it is what is INSIDE of a person that counts. My grandparents might have been "heavy people", but I knew I was safe and loved there. I never thought about anyones weight and I think people that do just don't have enough happy things going on in their own lives.

I'm going to wear my bathing suit, I'm going to the pool and waterparks, and I will have fun. So what if I'm not a size 3 anymore? I'm honestly more confident and happy with myself today.

Go and enjoy yourself. Just know that anyone looking at you really needs to get a life. I go to WDW to have fun, not critique the appearance of other patrons. I could go to the mall for that!

Trust your DH. He sounds like a great guy. My DH is the same way. As a matter of fact, he's a big part of the reason that I am as happy with myself as I am.

 

[cancilla]

Another guy chiming in here --

The point of going to WDW is to feel like a kid again, and who cares what kids look like in the pool? If you let yourself have a good time, that is what people will notice.

--Dominick

 

[ExPirateShopGirl]

Go... enjoy yourself... I run and work on my figure all the time... and although I'm not overweight, I have a few varicose veins on the backs of my legs. I hate them, but I am not bothered enough to have them lasered away. I would rather use that money to visit WDW and use the waterparks where some poor kid with a few pimples will have to stand in line behind me for the Crush N Gusher and see them...

On a more serious note... listen to your husband. He loves you and he's right... it doesn't matter! A few years ago there was a song that was popular called 'Wear Suncreen' - do a search on the web and find it and listen to it... if you can't listen to it, find the lyrics and read them... it gives you a great perspective on what's really important...

 

[Deedlbugg]

Let me admit that I am an over 40 male. I know it said "Women Only" but ladies, c'mon. You are on vacation. WHO CARES, you will never see these people again anyway. Real men are not looking anyway, they are much too busy looking at their own wifes or, more likely chasing after their three kids. Those extra "baby pounds" are, and let me say this loudly, A BADGE OF HONOR. Finally, take a look back. Most of the men you think are looking at you are nothing to write home about anyway. (me included) My advice to you is wear what you feel comfortable in on vacation. Anyone who takes exception to what you are wearing can take a flying leap in the Living Seas for all I care. Have fun.

Kudos to you BDG, obviously one of the REAL men!! Thanks for saying these nice things to those of us who feel ashamed of our bodies.
Its hard to love my body, but I do love great big T-shirts that go over bathing suits!!

 

[PolyAddict]

You are on vacation. Do want you want!!! Don't let a couple of possible LOOKS bother you. I never worry while on vacation (won't see these people again) but I honestly can't stand the water and just sit by the pool in my shorts while the kids and DH swim. I can't stand to be wet. Love the sun, though.

 

[bellenbuzz]

Oh My Goodness, We are Super Women these days......
I have always been very self consious, now I am 41 years old and the heaviest I have ever been.......YIKES, yes, but I also try to except me for who I am right now. ( Which isn't always easy)
Right now my thought is, this is the body I have been given at this point in my life for some reason, I can hide it, and miss out or I can say...THIS IS ME !!! I have had 2 beautiful daughters and WHO KNOWS WHAT THE FUTURE HOLDS ??!!
I for one Hate Clothes Shopping, and Bathing Suits........Just Forget It !!
But, Be Happy for the YOU Inside!!
P.S. My DH isn't exactly the hunk-a-hunk-a burnin' love he was 16 years ago either !!!!
I am sure you are a Beautiful Person !!!!

 

[MommaluvsDis]

Thanks to all of the sweet men that gave their views on this subject.

I'm dealing with this right now. DH and I will be cruising later this year and already I'm on the diet drink mix and walking on the treadmill. I'm about 30 pounds overwieght and a size 16. While I'm ashamed of the way I look in a bathing suit, I refuse to let it stop me from enjoying the vacation I've looked forward to. There's always going to be slimmer women and there's always going to be heavier women. We all have things we'd change about ourselves if we could.

 

[Family Fun Mom]

I don't have a medical condition. I'm just good old fashioned fat. I used to let it stop me from doing things, but I got sick of sitting on the sidelines and watching everybody else have fun. Until this past summer, I went almost five years without swimming because I couldn't stand the thought of wearing a bathing suit in front of people. This summer I decided I wanted in that water. So, I bought a tasteful plus sized bathing suit, and I got in that water!

I forgot how fun it is! I love swimming. I can't believe I wasted all that time worrying what other people might think. I have a man that loves me and three great kids who want their mama to jump in the pool with them. If someone doesn't like to see my cottage cheese thighs they can look the other way. I won't let that stop me. I'm swimming!

You swim, too! Life is too short to deprive yourself of fun because you are worried about how you look. Hop in that pool and smooch your hubby, he sounds like a keeper.

Good luck sweetie, and enjoy your trip!